I used to believe that it was easy to moderate my vices using willpower alone, whether it comes to sex or something as basic as coffee, but I realized that “moderation” or seeking the “middle path” are mythical notions. If you allow just a little bit of vice in your life, the process of backsliding immediately begins as you gradually make exceptions to partake in more and more of the vice. Therefore, when it comes to staying away from harm, abstinence is the only solution that is effective.
A habit that is extremely difficult for me to control is coffee. While you may argue that coffee is healthy, it contains a high amount of caffeine, a powerful drug that creates physical dependency. If you are a regular coffee drinker and have tried to quit, you’re aware of the debilitating withdrawal effects of headaches, fatigue, and brain fog. I love the bitter taste of coffee, but my body and mind become dependent on it.
In the past, I’ve tried to moderate my caffeine intake to only once a week. That would work for a few weeks until I felt it was safe to drink on a second day of the week. I can’t become dependent on coffee from just drinking twice a week, right? But the backsliding had already begun. Within a month, I will be drinking every day, becoming fully dependent on it, all because I started drinking it once a week. The same applies to alcohol.
When it comes to sex, a guide of moderation I tried in the past was to only pursue it when I had a physical need. When I was feeling horny, I would pursue a casual sex interaction, but this would increase the desire for more sex, and it doesn’t account for the fact that your “need” of sex can be manipulated by your environment, especially if you live in a society bathing in free porn. It would only take one sex act to create voluminous thoughts and fantasies that made me hornier, and that all happened because I had sex based on what I thought was a genuine need. Soon enough, I’m thinking of sex every day and feel that I need sex quite often. The fulfillment of sex, it turns out, begets the desire for more sex.
Over a year ago, I was dating a girl who was fulfilling my sexual need. We would see each other once or twice a week. She soon ended the relationship because I did not want to commit to her. That same night, in a state of mild panic, I went to a seedy dive bar named Dragon and picked up a girl of ill repute. I had sex with her a couple of days later. I did not particularly like this girl, but I used her body because I thought I was in need of sex, when really I was just upset. I proceeded to have a rather unfavorable sexual experience that I have since tried to forget. During this time period, I had convinced myself that I was in a state of moderation, but I was actually ready to sleep with any woman who was willing.
A random female may attempt moderation when improving her look through surgical means. She only wants to inject a little filler in her lips to garner more likes for her Instagram photos, but once her lips are nice and juicy, she starts to notice the micro wrinkles on her face. Back to the dermatologist she goes for Botox, and you know what, she now feels that her breasts are two sizes too small. Can the kind doctor recommend a surgeon for breast augmentation? It started with the lips, and a few years down the line she looks artificial and a full decade older than her actual age.
Indian guru Osho preached the middle way, but he embraced being treated like a god. He said yes to every media outlet who came knocking while using his status to sleep with his female followers. That is moderation? It’s very easy to preach moderation, for it sounds reasonable and pleasing to the ear, but it doesn’t work in practice. Moderation is a slow falling. Once you partake in a small dose of vice, you give it the means to fill your thoughts, and soon, your behavior. I no longer kid myself that I can moderate any vice, no matter how minor they seem to appear, and know that abstinence is the best approach.
Read Next: Get Away From Me
Perhaps you ll find some value in that book. Because christianism don’t answer a lot of fondmental question. for my part.
Wagner, that is a generic, preposterous observation that added nothing to the discussion. *sigh*
So, moderation… one technique I have learned is to “tell yourself” throughout the day what you wish to avoid.
For a while, I was addicted to Brazilian chocolates, because they are the best in the world, hands down. Whenever I felt hungry (and I am a grazer-type eater, constantly eating little things instead of massive meals), I would crave BR chocolates.
So I began to do my daily tasks while whispering to myself “I do not want something sweet, I want something salty” or “I really want something salty”.
After a few days, whenever I was craving a snack, I went for “something salty”, which is my case was rolled up sliced cheese and sliced ham. Or almond-stuffed green olives. Or roasted almonds (salted). Much healthier. My one piece of BR chocolates was a reward at the end of the day after dinner.
Later, I started to do the same with other things, like video games. I was going through a discouraging couple of months in my life, and was bored and unmotivated. So I started to whisper to myself throughout the day “I am tired of playing video games”, and in the same manner, after a few days, I started to focus much more time on weight-lifting and less and less on video games.
It helps tremendously. 😉 May seem simple, but helped my subconscious re-adjust to put my priorities back on track.
Moderation allow someone to enjoy the best things in life, like candy, sports cars, luxuries, etc without ruining oneself. I am a huge believer in moderation. It is an acquired virtue and trait, like the “Four Cardinal Virtues” that have been were recognized by Plato and in the Bible, classical antiquity and in traditional Christian theology: Prudence, courage, temperance, and justice.
Moderation is learned “skill” and it is a powerful masculine tool of self-mastery, a virtue that allows a man to have a lot of control over himself. 🙂
Temperance is abstinence.
Four cardinal virtues were recognized by Plato and in the Bible, classical antiquity and in traditional Christian theology:
Prudence (Latin: prudentia; also Wisdom, Sophia, sapientia), the ability to discern the appropriate course of action to be taken in a given situation at the appropriate time.
Courage (Latin: fortitudo): also termed fortitude, forbearance, strength, endurance, and the ability to confront fear, uncertainty, and intimidation
Temperance (Latin: temperantia): also known as restraint, the practice of self-control, abstention, discretion, and moderation tempering the appetition. SÅphrosynÄ“ can also be translated as sound-mindedness.
Justice (Latin: iustitia): also considered as fairness, the most extensive and most important virtue; the Greek word also having the meaning righteousness.
Master the 4 and you will be a much more complete man. They are hard to obtain.
But again, anything worthwhile in life will be hard. If it is easy to obtain, than it is not truly worthwhile.
Meditate everyday and these above 4 will become second nature. There won’t even be a struggle (struggle only proves weakness), because when you are connected to God, you are a vessel of his will and enacting it will become EFFORTLESS.
But first you must PROVE to God through offering him meditation that you are on his side. NOTHING is free–free stuff is a lie. Give to God, and he will give much more back to you.
What form of meditation do u practice. How much time? Thank u.
Sorry for my late response Jayan.
I use a very simple form of meditation; nothing fancy. I just focus on the breath coming in, and then going out. Slowly. After 30 mins of this my thinking mind fades into the back and the real stillness begins. You must relax. No effort. Effort will disturb you.
I use one of those incline seiza meditation benches. I can sit on those indefinitely without numbness. Just keep a straight posture.
I suggest you use a kitchen timer starting out. Thers is no shame is just doing 5 mins a day as a beginner. The habit is what’s important, not the time. After a while you can increase the time. I do about 1 hour now. But I did start with 5 min sessions.
Hope that helps.
So from the height of your life wisdom you are going to compare a â€œbrazilian-chocolate addictionâ€ to sex-addiction, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs?
Itâ€™s true that there are only neckbeards on the internet today
SUGAR addiction is every bit as powerful as cocaine, heroin, vicodin, easy pussy, & tobacco.
I’m 51, been around the block. MY LIFE WISDOM tells me that SUGAR IS AS ADDICTIVE AS ANY OF THOSE OTHERS.
Not going to quantify myself to you or anyone else. You lessen us all by being so judgmental & full of pride to assume YOU know more than the other man giving his advice.
lol sugar addiction doesnâ€™t even compare. That fact the you would say that letâ€™s me know you full of shit
I would never get involved with drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes. For a few weeks, I got hooked on Brazilian candies/chocolates, as I explained.
I did not want to gain weight or lose the gains I made at the gym, so I reminded myself how much I did not want to eat these anymore. Therefore, I taught myself a trick to rid myself of the habit/addiction/etc.
Sugar addiction is very powerful. Oreo Cookies are more addictive than coke, according to a study:
Again, I have never done coke, so I do not know how addictive it is. Some things in life you are better off NOT knowing, I guess… 😉 I will be happy dying never have tasted any drugs, drunkenness, or cigarettes.
But with “minor addictions”, like Roosh mentions with his coffee addiction, they are easily controlled with discipline and small tricks like I outlined.
Give it a try before you criticize it. *sigh*
I donÂ´t practice moderation. Try to put you addictive personality into something useful. This weekend I made a table with my two kids. Without machines. Just a saw, hammer. It looks awfull but it was great times.
HereÂ´s the video which inspired me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaF1b5u0yI0
I didnÂ´t use a paletier. Just old wood lying on the floor from leftover constructions and selected branches from the tree to make the legs of the table.
The first try you just put the boards backside cut them with same size and hammer with nails three boards on top, bottom and last one in Z mode. Then IÂ´ve made small reinforcement with a wood square. Nailed it. And afterwards different from the video IÂ´ve put the legs in the corners inside of the square structure. Not outside. Nails should be big. Everything hammered down. Solid as a rock. Afterwards sanded it by hand and painted it with provence blue. The legs kept the original colour. It actually looks ok. This weekend we will have breakfast there.
Now I will build more 2 tables, 2 garden doors, french window shutters and benches from the log of the tree. Incredibly so I was checking videos on youtube of how to make shutters and in the US they fake the shutters.
I will buy a chainsaw for the logs.
Fuck it IÂ´m also building a tree house for my kids and more stuff. The only bad thing is I donÂ´t have the equipment to saw an entire tree to make planks of wood. That would really be nice.
Why do you need moderation in making this? Do it. Build whatever you need. After build more. Some people have too much energy. And need to spend it.
Moderation should be practiced with vices. Food, alcohol, money, etc. Bad stuff.
Looking back to my vices – be it coffee, sugar, lazyness, sexual thoughts or porn – it started exactly as you described. Just an espresso a week, or twice, or this time I am on a date, so, why not? Fast forward it became the daily espresso, then several times a day until I hit my limit. My energy reserves were drained and I needed to sleep once, sometimes even twice during the day to keep my energy levels normal when I was not drinking.
If I do not eat sugar for a while it has a similar effect. Eating a small amount of industrial sugar was like being on cocaine. I felt instantly happier and energized, then a few hours later I hit a low and craved sugar again.
Lazyness, the same. I lay off one thing as an exception, then this exception becomes a habit and I catch myself not using my time productively anymore.
Sexual phantasies and porn are similar. I realized once I break the purity of my thoughts there is no going back. Even if I restrain myself physically, my mind is already infested and needs the release, no matter how much I try to control myself, sexual thoughts are in the back of my mind and get the best of me when I see a skanky woman.
There are two things that helped me the most during times of detoxification: The first thing is, being more spiritual and firm in your conviction. What I did to obtain that is to read the Bible, books that underpin my faith (be it secular or sprÃritual writings), praying and meditating ritually, and no excuses to anybody about your faith. The second thing was engaging with people with a pure, giving and/or positive presence – this can be men or women. In this day and age people as such are hard to find, even in most churches. Yet when you find such, they challenge you in ways by bringing out the best traits out of you. Spending time with such people made me even forget to pray or read the Bible, even kept one or two vices and still did not affect me very negatively spiritually.
The latter of those to can go, as people always come and go, but never lose the former. No matter how spiritual you were before, you will feel void and hopeless when you lose it, and re-obtaining the same level of spirituality and faith will take more humility and patience than before.
Thanks for your article Roosh, it reminded me to never stray from the good and rightous path.
Brother, you’ve only been confirmed for a year now; stop trying to hold yourself to such an advanced standard. You’re still learning.
2339 Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy. “Man’s dignity therefore requires him to act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end.”
It is possible to mature in the faith rapidly
Yeah, moderation is a meme. You cannot moderate extreme compulsion. Imagine telling a heroin addict that they need to moderate their heroin intake.
For me, meditation dissolves my worst habits completely. I depend on it. I must do it everyday, and as long as I do it I will easily be able to resist porn, caffeine, 4chan, alcohol, junk food. But without it, I’m just a sitting cuck.
A physical addiction is completely different than a mental addiction.
Take addictive drugs like coke or heroine vs steroids. Physically, the coke will cause someone to become physically dependent on the drug. Steroids, however, are NOT physically addictive, but are mentally addictive. Why? Because you get huge and shredded and you want to keep gaining more muscle, more definitions, more more… and you cannot stop. You need to have self-control in your mindset to say “enough”, since it is mental desire to keep getting better and better, and not physical-need.
The difference also being that steroid makes you a better, stronger, more confident man while drugs like coke make you into a paranoid loser. It is hard to stop bettering oneself. But then again, excessive steroid use can ruin one’s health too… or make you into a huge success like Arnold and many others, for instance.
Impulse control is a must-learn skill for a well-balanced man. Maybe there is something about “highly addictive personalities”, me not being one of these types. So I do not really know.
But I find moderation to be much like any other virtue or skill. I find moderation to be something that can be learned or taught, like any other skill.
> steroids are ok if moderated
Lol, nice Akshually, Adam.
Clearly you have never done steroids. You beta cucks like alcohol, cigarettes, drugs and when something comes along that will make you bigger, faster, stronger and more successful and happy… oh noooo that is baaaad. *roll eyes*
Steroids can be used in moderation to incredible benefits. They are not physically addictive like crack. The additional can be psychological, since you get stronger, have incredible energy and drive, do better in bed than Viagra, and look amazing. You wanna keep it going.
I literally know over 20 guys who run cycles get to a good physical size and maintain. They never do another cycle again. They run cycles of 12-15 shots only, PCT, and that is it. They never do it again. I knew little twerps in HS that went on the Vitamin S and got tot a good size and 15 years later, never did another cycle. They just became a good size and stayed there.
Ps. What do you think “testosterone replacement therapy” for older guys is? Steroids, genius. Except you pay 10x the gym price. LOL 😀
Ps2. Go ahead and be a lil’ beta cuck and keep being a skinny, weak, pudgy loser. That will get you places. “Hey pass to Matt pass me the 12-pack of beer, his keg belly is not big enough”. lol 😀
> Clearly you have never done steroids.
As if that’s a bad thing.
Do you listen to yourself?
Ahhh… Fear… the weak and pathetic man’s greatest “asset”.
People like Matt go out and self-destroy with alcohol, drugs, whoring, etc. The moment something that can actually improve his life and make him a better man, he knocks it down without understanding it or even researching it.
Oh well. Blue Pill 101.
> steroids will improve your life
Obviously they don’t improve your brain.
Some Betas will never, ever get it. If you cannot tell the difference between increasing the amount of a substance that already exists in your body called testosterone, and injecting oneself with a drug that damages your mind and physical well-being, I do not know what to tell you, man.
*roll eyes at Matt*
This thread is old so you probably won’t see this, but I’ve used steroids in the past and have been addicted to them, and you are saying all of the pathetic copes that steroid junkies tell themselves to reconcile with being an addict. You’re an addict. Plain and simple. I used to tell myself the same lies, thankfully I snapped out of it before I permanently wrecked my health and made myself sterile.
If you use steroids, you’re also sleeping around with sluts. The two go hand in hand. You can try to lie about it, but as someone who used to use gear, I know what it does to your libido and better judgement. You’re also desecrating your body and potentially making yourself sterile. How “alpha” is it to be an old worn out steroid junkie that is unable to sire children?
You are weak, not strong, weak. You rely on external synthetic substances just to feel normal, which is they very definition of an addict. You have no spiritual fortitude or inner strength, and are relying on external copes. You need to repent for desecrating your body and indulging in useless vain pursuits.
This is a great piece, I can relate to it.
It really goes with anything: drinking, doing drugs. Even binge eating. Just thinking about all of the food that you eat, and how people go the gym and try to look as attractive as they want.
It’s all of the consumerism culture inherent in our society, but in truth, everyone has it all wrong. All of these things just end up making you more depressed, as you decide that you want more and more, without actually being fulfilled and content with just the way that things are.
So roosh, I am so glad that you are coming to these conclusions, it means that you are gaining in wisdom. You are slowly creating an inner world for yourself, and beginning to let go of all the things that you once thought that you’ve needed.
Victor Pride at bold and determined seems to be following your lead… would be curious to have you guys collab and discuss the transition
Victor Pride from Bold and Determined appears to have followed your lead… I would be curious to hear you guys collab and discuss the lifestyle transition
Victor stopped the frequent posts on his website after he talked about Freemasonry in his podcast. Now he just posts some lame dietary supplement links to his Red Energy website.
Nevermind, I saw his recent blog post.
Through Jesus all things are possible. He has many ways of delivering us from and relieving earthly frustrations, erotic and otherwise.
No moderation or restraint necessary with Him when it gets hot and heavy!
any potential shock value this rubbish might have had is overshadowed by pity
help is available
Yes, (((help))) is always available.
Wtf you doing on here woman?
Not hot enough for instagram. Not even one sexy angle?
Oh, like you’d be here trolling the comments looking for a catfight if you weren’t banned from RVF for being a woman yourself, ((Matt)).
Interesting that you think attractive women ought to be shaking their tits on Instagram instead of being actively engaged in serving their husbands, raising their children, bettering themselves, and helping to brace their families against the waves of modern degeneracy.
> serving their husbands, raising their children, bettering themselves, and helping to brace their families against the waves of modern degeneracy.
None of that requires being on the internet, woman. I’m surprised your husband lets you use your phone in the kitchen.
Actually, I draw a lot of what I teach my children (homeschooled since birth) from internet sources. I also don’t HAVE a phone. So back up there, Betsy. How many children are YOU raising to resist the globohomo agenda?
A laptop in the kitchen? Your man won’t be happy about that burned steak, woman.
Awww, he thinks he’s more of a misogynist than I am. ^_^
That’s just adorable.
Thinks she’s gonna score brownie points for being a tradthot.
That you need to come here for male validation says a lot about your marital relationship.
You know, even if I WERE coming here for “validation” and not because I actually, you know, like the things Roosh writes and find them relevant to understanding the world around me…
At least I’m not defending the “erotic jesus” guy and picking fights with girls.
Pulling the female victim card?
Go testify against (((Harvey Weistein))), he probably raped you as well 10 years ago.
And Roosh is male space. We don’t want frontholes here. Go to the other 6 million spaces you frontholes have.
I’d only qualify as a “victim” if you weren’t the LOSER. ^_^
> ur penis is small and u live in mommy’s basement!
Every. Single. Time.
Women; the eternal gender jew. Ov vey!
Whoa whoa, you don’t need to bring your PERSONAL problems into it, bud. You went there, not me.
It’s ok woman. Watching you struggle to keep it together is that pound of your dignity I was after.
Yep, I can see why you’d need it. Don’t worry, though; I have plenty to spare and you clearly need it more than I do.
> plenty of spare dignity
Something here doesn’t add up.
“Something here doesnâ€™t add up.”
Spoilers: it’s your logic.
> woman talking about logic.
When your gender starts inventing stuff like Turing algorithms, calculus, and rocket science, I’ll take your woman “logic” more seriously. But until then, invent me a sandwich.
Look, my father taught me from a very young age that women don’t mature past the age of fourteen. So I cut myself a lot of slack for unabashedly having fun talking smack in the comment sections of internet articles.
What’s YOUR excuse?
And, respectfully, your comment is steeped in envy. Have you forgotten the commandment that thou shalt not covet thy neighbor?
Itâ€™s clear to me from your tone that you havenâ€™t opened your loveholes to Him.
If so, you wouldnâ€™t feel the need to bitterly berate and condemn in the manner you have. Jesus satisfies all those who seek pleasure through him, and it is never too late to turn to Him on a sultry evening to unwind your uptight manner.
Great article. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. This excerpt sums up addition perfectly:
â€œAll addiction is caused by suppression of feelings. If we could learn how to Feel our emotions rather than judging or fearing them, ALL addictions and recovery programs would literally cease to exist.
What complicates this issue even further, is that letting go of a substance or behavior that’s helped us ‘change the channel’ when we’ve had awkward or painful feelings, is like saying goodbye to an old friend who’s been the only truly reliable source of connection or comfort we’ve ever known. In short, it’s always been there for us when we’ve had a need for relief~ so even just the thought of letting go of that relationship, can trigger sensations of loss and anxiety.â€œ
Read rest of article here: https://sharischreiber.com/outgrowing-your-addiction/
Love what you’re writing these days. All very relevant.
I’m pretty brazen about my coffee habit. Four shots of espresso, 2.5 ounces of steamed half and half. Every single day for… I dunno how long.
I used to smoke cigarettes. Due to health reasons, I just stoped one day and never did it again. Eventually the physical withdrawals went away and so did the routine cravings that I had built around smoking. What took the longest to get past was my great memories of smoking. Today, I almost never think about it even though I truly enjoyed it.
There are some good memories for sure, but maybe you are downplaying or forgetting the bad ones too?
I remember dry retching at times while smoking a cigarette, but still compulsively smoking it nonetheless. I remember the panic of running out. I remember harvesting tobacco from the butts in the ashtray when I ran out. I remember the feeling of being enslaved to a plant. I remember the feeling of foolishness as I wasted my money on cigarettes. Lots of bad memories.
I’ve smoke a few cigarettes since I gave up smoking years agoâ€”I mean one cigarette every few yearsâ€”just as an experiment. They really aren’t very good. They are disappointing. When I gave up, I thought I was losing something precious, but that was a delusion.
Roosh, your sex drive is part of being Human, a gift given to you by the creator. Don’t disparage what is God given.
Our pornographied culture saturated in sexual triggers and superstimuli is not natural or God-given, and shouldn’t be indulged.
It’s like shoving coca cola and candy down someone’s throat all day and being like, “dude, why so sick? Your appetite is God-given, don’t disparage it. Brawndo’s got electrolytes.”
My post presupposes one has some common sense….
Funny how vague your idea of common sense is.
You see Matt, this is where game becomes essential. Knowledge of game and female motivations will help avoid most of the pitfalls. Men are the sexual aggressors in all primates, so to deny this God given trait is an unwitting attempt to outsmart our creator. This drive is part of our makeup, and should be embraced. Roosh is either all gas or all brakes, swinging from one extreme to the other. I think he will get it right but it will take some time.
We live in a sexually saturated society. This is not normal.
Roosh I hope you realize you can only speak for yourself, right? Or are you on the path of going full-retard by mandating everyone else adopt these radical changes?
Moderation is the key, and it is realistic unless one is an addict, which I think you areâ€”at least with women.
Do what you need to do for you, but for others, we can go on moderate mode without falling off the wagon.
Moderation doesn’t work with extreme compulsion. Abstinence is the key. I know that scares wankers such as yourself. It’s amazing how much losers like you hate people who try to better themselves. Suffer in silence.
extreme compulsion is a medical issue
Just coz you call something a medical condition doesn’t mean that moderation is effective against it.
Always lost in extremes because he expects the most reward there.
> sexual propriety is extreme
Does the lord approve of such language?
Yes. Because you must speak to cucks, in the language they understand.
Do you have a rat in your pocket?
Well put and 100% true
Totally agree. Roosh has an extremely compulsive personality, thatâ€™s why moderation never worked for him.
He had difficulty sleeping with girls like a lot of guys – instead of just learning to become better with them, he became a â€œgameâ€ guru.
He didnâ€™t like girls from his city – instead of moving to another town, he became a nomad, living in industrial shitholes in Eastern Europe, away from friends and family.
Now he regrets his past and is going way overboard with the religious stuff.
To each their own, but no need to preach to everyone that moderation is a myth, just because he has trouble controlling his own impulses.
“going way overboard with these religious stuffs”
I am waiting for his “relapse” lamentations and eventual conversion from religion in a few years. Cos religion is damn boring and not easy.
His conversion should have been gradual.
Again “moderation is king”
Some of these ideas really hit for me.
The key is often we often view ourselves on how the world views us. Now I’m not saying feedback is a bad thing. But do you ever try to see your own world by how God views you?
People’s view of you can change in an instant from being loved to hated and visa versa, and then you wonder if it was actually you who changed or just the perception of you, or who people found you to actually be in more research.
I find myself often getting weak as well because I seek validation often. I feel a lot of people on this journey with you do as well.
At the same time we are humans, we are meant to be alone, and a feeling of loneliness was put inside of us for a reason, to push you to seek companionship and not stay in your own world.
So the key I feel is knowing how to let in the good things from others that can help make you a better man, but not taking in the bad things they give and the self doubt that comes. Easier said then done of course. And I do think it’s ok to feel sad. You can always know God is in control and rest in that, but the pain you feel is also for a reason too, hopefully you can find what you truly seek and keep trying until you get it.
Also the desire for sex what something God put in us. It was put to get us to procreate, to be fruitful and multiply. I hope that you can find a wife that you truly love, and are able to be with every day. I think it’s good that you didn’t lie to that person to keep her there, because the truth is always found out in the end, plus it’s good to be honest to people, that will get returned to you I feel.
Now that being said, I hope you keep searching for love for a wife that you can be with forever. I hope you choose the best you can possibly get, realizing that to get a person of truly high value means that you will have to change yourself as well and bring your true potential out. God gave each person many gifts and you have many as well.
I also hope you find someone that can accept you or at least not completely leave you at your worst.
I remember when I met you first time in Dragon, years ago before I knew who you were. best of luck dude, keep fighting the good fight, Im right behind you 🙂
“Moderation is a myth” is 100% fact. Never have I succeeded in overcoming an obstacle when I choose to keep part of it around to trip on. Just as you have observed, I too will not only fail to moderate, but backslide into possibly worse habits bearing more shame and failure. Take heed young men, because this advice will put you possibly decades ahead of us.
Moderation is a lose-lose. May GOD the Most High bless you all!!
Sin in moderation does not work. Sin is sin, and sin enslaves.
Some things are not inherantly sinful. Moderation can work there, but if you feel it best to avoid them altogether, that is also fine.
Sexual immorality is fundamentally sinful. Moderation CANNOT work with porn, whoring, adultery, sodomy etc.
Alcohol tends to lead to trouble. It may be best to avoid it altogether. Yet, for others, moderation is fine. Alcohol consumption is not fundamentally sinful.
Caffeine is even less troublesome, but can still be a problem for some. Avoid it if you think best.
I tried moderation with porn use. It didn’t work. I had to flee it entirely. God will not tolerate idolatry. Porn is idolatry.
So what is the solution, i can’t control my moderation
So what is the solution
Fear God. Hope in Jesus Christ. Call on the Lod Jesus for mercy and grace. Flee idols and immorality. Worship God.
Won’t save you from the almighty Corona. Perhaps a manifestation of Satan. Or is it the will of God ?
Started with the wicked pagans from China, then the vile worshipers of the arab pedophile and his bloodthirsty moon god Allah, aka the devil. Iranian mullahs declared Satan would protect them from the plague, now their unholy shrines in Qom are littered with dead bodies. While even the saudis were clever enough to stop the pilgrimage to the moon orb.
Next, it was Italy, the heart of babylonian papism. Patient zero is a pakistani spreading the plague in the name of Allah.
Muslim hordes are rushing to Greece with a renewed fervour
Soon, pharisians will follow. Did not hit Israel yet, but AIPAC members are already infected. Like officials from governments worldwide.
They thought their power, wealth and hired guns would protect them.
If you have been redeemed by Jesus Christ, then if the corona virus or whatever gets you, it doesn’t matter. You go straight to Him. So ultimately there is nothing to fear.
I commited venial sins, and few good deeds. I’m good for a ride to purgatory at best.
With the current situation, i suspect we might be seeing the tribulation foretold. I’m not as prepared as i should have been, not to a crazed survivalist-like level, but still more than those blissful ignorants relying on the governments as their gods to provide them for everything.
Then i don’t think i’ll be redeemed for my apathy. Renouncement and sacrifice are not the same.
The degenerate worshipers of Allah-Satan relied on him, now they die in fear, as they always did, and the prospect of an after party full of wine, women and young boys (and goats, don’t forget the goats) will not change the fact they squandered their lives away by being lazy, stupid, partaking in every sins imaginable and murdering peoples.
Life is a struggle, it’s the law of nature, hence the law of God.
Denying this fact is denying Him, as i believe He helps only those who help themselves.
Those who stay idle will not be saved.
I don’t fear death (yet), but hope to accomplish some good before my time comes.
According to the Bible, if you put your faith in Jesus Christ, then your sins are forgiven, and you are going to heaven.
The “middle path” that Gotama (aka Buddha) taught was an ascetic (celibate) middle between lay life on one side and flagellating yourself and torturing thr body on the other. In other words, a moderate asceticism that avoided sex completely but didn’t devolve into sleeping on beds of nails or neglecting to brush your teeth.
You’re right Roosh. There is no negotiating with weakness, destroy it.
I like the angle Roosh is aiming at here but unless we live like the High Sparrow in Game of Thrones, we have to moderate everything in life. Can be abstinent from sex, drugs and other vices? Sure. Is that realistic for anyone outside of deep religious convictions? Probably not.
My answer is to aim for improvement in your life and not perfection. None of us are perfect but I can certainly try every single day.
Yes, there are many vices that can be very damaging even if you engage with them on an extremely limited bases. Partaking in casual sex, binge drinking, and pornography are all examples of vice that can have consequences regardless of how often you consume them. It helps me to have confidants that hold me accountable. Sin gets a foothold in your life when it’s kept hidden.
Apart from prayer, one thing I find helpful in my daily struggle with my compulsions is to try to be kind to my future self. If I give in now, then I will be enjoying the pleasure now, but I will be forcing future Bob to deal with the shame, which really won’t be fair to him.
Damn straight. Moderation is nothing but selfdeception of weak minded morons. Its all or nothing.
The inability to exercise moderation with something that is healthy in small doses is clearly a moral failing.
Just because someone can’t control their drinking means we should all be in a 12 step program?
You are more animal and less human if you are dominated by some impulse or emotion over logic.
Better not exercise at all because you will suddenly turn into an ultra-marathoner.
How long did it take you to quit coffee and be free of withdrawls or feeling there is no meaning in life?
Hereâ€™s the flaw in your thinking, and maybe part of the reason you were addicted to sex; sex is not a need like food and water. Itâ€™s an act of procreation that happens to be pleasurable. If youâ€™re not in a marriage, youâ€™re not a sexual being. Period.
When you think sex is a need or a right, you fall into the trap of women using sex as a weapon. You become weak.
Hereâ€™s the flaw in your thinking, and maybe part of the reason you were addicted to food; food is not a need like air and water. Itâ€™s an act of mastication that happens to be pleasurable. If youâ€™re not in the kitchen, youâ€™re not a nutritional being. Period.
Moderation is not a myth; moderation is simply SUBJECTIVE, and it varies from person to person.
Every person, whether male or female, has different levels of health, capacity and energy, which are again subject to the vagaries of time, situation/environment and circumstances.
When you’re younger and hornier, ejaculating 3 times a day can be normal or average for many men. When you’re 65 or 70, getting it up itself is an achievement for some.
Life is unfair, we all know it.
Some people are just born genetically blessed, some people optimize their health through a fit lifestyle and so on. A 250 pound body builder who can eat 6 meals a day and 3500 calories a day to maintain a killer physique, his levels of moderation in food servings will be much different from a scrawny guy who eats only two meals a day and weighs 125 pounds.
And this too can change with time, a different environment and circumstances.
Happiness is caused by a balanced life. Some people who lived conservatively in their youth, suddenly choose a life of hedonism in the middle and old ages. And vice versa. Basically they’re choosing to balance out their existence, by allowing themselves to enjoy stuff which they deprived themselves earlier, or in the flip case, want to learn the art of delayed gratification or moderation after they lived a life of hedonism earlier. Basically both types are trying to live out a balanced existence – though it may not be understood or accepted by society always.
So to repeat, moderation is not a myth: it’s only subjective.
“The fulfillment of sex only creates the desire for more sex. ”
ONLY if the sex was satisfying and fulfilling to begin with. And the same can be said for other “endeavours” or pleasures in life – food, wealth, fame, etc.
It’s funny you can analyze ‘When the shoe fits” by OSHO and now 3-4 years later still do exactly what Osho described. People create elaborate ideological matrixes to conform themselves to, thinking they have ideas, while the ideas in fact have them. Why should life be a complicated puzzle requiring a Bible and a Church and a Liturgy and Apologetics visa versa? Can you improve upon a rose? Does a rose need confirmation and baptism and a Church to be moral; to repent from the sin of… being a rose?
Move from one system (PUA; Manosphere; Game) to another (Christianity; Orthodoxy; Catholicism). It’s still falling for the trap of believing in needing a system. Even the Book of Ecclesiastes explains; no man not even Solomon can find the final answer, not in Hedonism not in Wisdom. The incessent seeking is an obsession, the question itself begets the torture of twisting oneself to fit their ego and their contradictory impulses to one arbitrary philosophical body or another. Sunni, Shia, Protestant, Catholic; all religious bodies of truth contain a ‘logos’, as Mr. South Bend Indiana would call it. But people get bogged down in apologetics and minutiae, as opposed to just… living without a handbook for life.
I wish Osho was alive so I could live in his ashram. I could give him all my money so he can buy more Rolex watches and Rolls Royce automobiles. I could watch him sleep with all the beautiful women and live in absolute luxury like a king. And I would turn my head the other way when his associates poisoned the town. Yes, his way is the best system… for Osho.
“Why should life be a complicated puzzle requiring a Bible and a Church and a Liturgy and Apologetics visa versa”?
Because the Devil is material (real). No amount of rejection of that reality nor its “matrixes” meant to buffer his efforts can change that. It simply leaves you utterly vulnerable to his whim.
Life is not a Rose, not for non “complicated” animals nor is it a Rose for humans. It is a test, and absolutely a complicated puzzle, for which failure means eradication in every sense.
“Does a rose need confirmation and baptism and a Church to be moral; to repent from the sin ofâ€¦ being a rose”?
A Rose can not be moral nor immoral because it is not human. Conversely, no human can claim that merely being (and being subject to his animal instinct) is moral. No amount of pseudo-Asiatic philosophy can successfully claim otherwise. I’ve read and understood the best of it, the core of which tends to inform modern liberalism, and this particular dross is below par.
“Itâ€™s still falling for the trap of believing in needing a system”.
You state that its a trap. We reject that premise. Case closed. See how baseless assertions work?
The Devil works within a “system” that requires a system to combat it. Without that: death. Without a healthy motivation to resist death, your life is worthless. Worth less than the existence of a small rock, because at least the rock doesn’t add noise into the system of life and its successful perpetuation.
Most of the rest of your last paragraph is indecipherable nonsense, and I’d give to your favorite charity if you could tell me what the correct “logos” of Christianity is (assuming for one second the false assumption that Christianity is meant to convey one central idea).
Yet another great article! Take it from me all you “social” drinkers, if you drink alcohol long enough(years) moderation will become impossible.
Don’t do what I did and kid yourself, or, buy into the lie of moderation.
Stated differently: The concept of “moderation” implies the assumption that anything (x) is good in small amounts and therefore that a middle way is helpful rather than even neutral. Though, as Roosh noted the middle way for inherently addicting activities is not neutral but bad.
It should be noted, however, that the middle way theory tends to connote “good” to moderate participation. That false implication is important to recognize and call out.
Invalidating the moderation concept, in terms of how it is generally conceptualized and applied, is as simple as assigning any number of ridiculous values to x: cyanide, crack, HIV, banging one’s head against the concrete, etc.
Substituting these values for x proves that the concept of moderation, generally applied, is false.
It seems as if the moderation concept only works which activities that are generally held to have a positive effect in both small and large amounts, but for which a large enough amount (of anything) invariably begins to have in inverse effect (as anything done indefinitely has a bad result): exercise, prayer, dish washing, child discipline, studying, work, etc.
Moderation is appropriate for essentially anything that lacks a substantial biochemical reward trigger.
For these values, the moderation concept is helpful. Ignoring it for these activities is what OCD and general insanity are made of.
Abstinence is best for drugs and other non life-essential or otherwise non-productive high biochemical reward activities.
For other rewarding but life-essential acitivities such as sex (or alcohol when it can’t be avoided in the course of life), the best strategy in my experience is not to moderate its regular use but to be sure to only participate in it irregularly and with as much space between participation as one can get away with.
This strategy leads to assured “withdrawal” (reward pathway recaliberation) periods after each instance, which should be so light so as to be mostly unnoticeable. And therefore prevents addiction while still allowing for occasional enjoyment / participation.
Attempting to moderate inherently rewarding activities (ie: drugs), according to a regular schedule is a formula for addicting one’s mind to that schedule (and its activity) and an invitation to both addiction rationalization and a restructuring of brain architecture that will have one seeing the world differently than sober people without realizing what has happened.