My Hero

I was on the subway when the girl sitting right next to me began loudly telling a story to someone on the phone. I am unable to reproduce her hip hop slang so this is a paraphrase:

“You know how I don’t let any guy try to get with me right? I get their number and then throw it away. So I was about to get on the Metro and this guy starts talking to me. He seemed okay. He asks me if I’m hungry and want to grab something to eat, his treat. I figure why not, so I said yes.

“We go to a Mexican place and eat dinner. I’m a little nervous because I would hate if Chris found out I’m hanging out with some other guy like this. I just wanted the meal. The check comes, and get this shit: his card was declined. He leaves to the ATM across the street and comes up apologizing, saying he can’t pay the bill. I’m sooooo angry at this point. So I pay the whole thing—$26 and $2 tip. He tells me he wants to take me out again to make up for not having money. I tell him no and to consider this an early Christmas gift. This sucks because I can’t afford anything right now. I’m so upset.”

I looked the other way and put my hand over my face until I was done laughing. It’s bad enough she had a boyfriend and went out on a date with a guy she wanted to use for tacos con carne (yes, she was obese, morbidly), but why insult the help with a pathetic 7.7% tip? Two more dollars wouldn’t have killed her at that point. Yet sitting on my comfortable orange seat I was extremely proud to be the same gender of the man who gave this girl what she deserved. You know she’ll be stewing for weeks, maybe months. He changed her for the better of all men everywhere.

I got to wondering if he ran “declined card” game on purpose. After the massive social faux-pas of showing up on a date with $0, he knows that any girl who makes it to date two wants to get banged and doesn’t care about his (in)ability to pay. His cost per notch must be admirable. I may have to steal this technique if I ever get in dire straits, but instead of a date two I’ll just try to drag the girl back to my refrigerator box.

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adrock
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adrock
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That guy is hero worthy. I’ve never run “declined card game”, but I have run “I never carry cash on me game” once with great effect. Best case is that you two share a laugh over it and you “make it up to her next time”, and if you didn’t like her, well, you get a free meal out of it.

RW
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RW
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Okay, one sees in life what one deems necessary but really there are some giveaways to your story here that don’t make this guy worthy of hero worship.

First you say the woman was talking hip hop to a degree you didn’t feel you shared the same language and that she was morbidly obese. Being that this is the DC area, well that is indicator of a type of gal I don’t even see as female. I love dark brunettes but that means Salma Hayek, not beyond.

So to make this guy into a hero is really pushing the limit of the game concept. Sadly, it seems you stumbled upon a ghetto chick and a local playa who had a problem with his debit card not clearing a welfare check.

Perhaps inspiration needs to come from elsewhere.

It is funny though. But it reflects better similarities to the security guard trampled and killed on Black Friday on Long Island than game culture IMHO.

Perhaps others will see it differently.

Atheist Messiah
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clearly, the only hero in this story is you, for listening to this chubby black chick’s phone convo, holding back your laughter, then sharing it with the whole internet world…

you help me get through my corporate workday. you and roissy are my free therapists

z
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z
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“it seems you stumbled upon a ghetto chick and a local playa who had a problem with his debit card not clearing a welfare check”

Sad scenes from the other America….

What a wonderful wife and mother this particular ghetto ho’ will turn out to be. A real treasure for poor “Chris”.

Large Hadron Collider
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what a wonderful story – ahahahahaha

A person who won’t tip at least 15% as the decent thing to do – ha – usually isn’t worthy of much ink -but I think you decribed it rather well and I had a good laugh

The G Manifesto
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Not sure this is “hip hop slang” but thats neither ruger nor luger.

“I got to wondering if he ran “declined card” game on purpose.”

I was too. But more likely it is just another casualty of The Down Economy.

When I was a younger G, I always used to get girls to by me lunch or dinner.

These days I am so flush, the price of dinner or lunch doesn’t matter either way.

The funniest thing about this is he took her to a Mexican restaurant in DC.

DC is notorious for having the worst Mexican food.

He should have taken her to Citronelle in the Latham Hotel in G-Town.

That way she would have been stuck for $250.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Disadvantage of The Down Economy: Girl Backlog.

Arjewtino
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He definitely played her. I’m sure his followup for another date was a ruse.

Arjewtino’s last blog post: A blog post by Arjewtino’s 1st grade school photo.

Benedict Smith
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that move on his part was MASSIVELY impressive. whether true or not, it makes the basis of the most supreme, strategic shit test to a woman. she is assaulted on so many levels that it just hits her like a 18 wheeler at 75 mph. game over. he either finds out if she is a sucker or a bitch or blaise enough to roll with it. wow.

Benedict Smith’s last blog post: Boy Meets Girl. Boy Suspects Stripper. Boy Is Correct..

roissy
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sweet, sweet comeuppance.

question: since when did morbidly obese chicks get such a sense of entitlement?

bizarro world.

roissy’s last blog post: Two Conversations, Same Girl, Same Day.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Roosh you should have linked to your “I’ll just try to drag the girl back to my refrigerator box.
” post from the golden ages of your blog. I think some of the newer readers might have enjoyed it.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Is it sad that hip hop slang + ghetto behavior + DC = black women?

RW
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RW
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+ bad tip = black women.

I learned that from experience.

The G Manifesto
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“I got the impression though that she only dates black guys (or urban flavored white guys, like Eminem).”

More like Vanilla Ice.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Disadvantage of The Down Economy: Girl Backlog.

Tampa
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Tampa
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“Declined Card” game!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA.
That shit is funny. What is even funnier is that you thought of his situation from a “game” standpoint.

Dude – the guy’s cards got denied. He wasnt running game, he was f-ing broke.

But if you could consiously pull that off, you have “massive cajones.”

RW
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RW
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Laughing at Tampa: just reading your post makes me laugh all over again at this.

Thanks Roosh for your clarification. Here in NYC, it’s been a long running deal where ugly white girls would date brothers. But that was before the gangsta thang.

But you know the saying, what you think is your reality is never proven more true than in this story.

When I see a morbidly fat chick, even before she speaks with her feigned rap speak, I already delist her from the female population.

And funny I overheard these high school girls in a restaurant just now and this cute little white girl looked all nice and clean cut. Then she opened her mouth and started with the “nigger” talk.

Could only wonder if she does that at home like she was doing on the phone.

One could complain about the lack of class but any culture in this country is being destroyed. The best line on the whole I’ve heard recently being, “The problem isn’t that women act like men; it’s that they don’t act like gentlemen.”

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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wow racist.

RW
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RW
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It’s a different world. I wouldn’t even look over to acknowledge that I heard her saying it. But I’m not sure how it’s viewed by high school girls.

Among my friends, black and white there’s never an appropriate time or place to talk like that. Ever.

Sign of the times.

Big Snot
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Big Snot
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Your “hero” wants to bang a morbidly obese chick? Should your book be renamed Beast Bang? no thank you.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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dire straits, not dire straights. funny story.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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G Manifesto = Wannabe Manifesto?

crow
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crow
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New chapter for Bang: How to game when you are broke and all you can get is fat chicks.

R. Mutt
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R. Mutt
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hahahahahaha….classic! You guys are missing the point of the story – she got what she deserved. She could have been an articulate dime piece and still gone to lunch with some strange buy though she has a boyfriend. It’s the same logic for those girls who let guys buy them drinks, dinner, or flowers knowing the whole time that they’re going home with blue balls.

Women have absolutely no problem leading men on, but if we flip the script then all hell breaks loose. I think it’s good to shake them up, turn their world upside down. It doesn’t feel like “a man’s world” anymore, those days are long gone. Doing stuff like this, on purpose of course, gives girls a reality check they so dearly need these days.

Anonymous
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It’s the same logic for those girls who let guys buy them drinks, dinner, or flowers knowing the whole time that they’re going home with blue balls

Are you joking? NO woman twists a man’s arm to make him ask her out.