My Name Is Burt

I started using a fake name in the beginning of the year. It was hard at first to be called something completely new, but after a few months I got used to it. Now when I hear the name called out in public I instinctively turn my head as if it was my own. Let’s just say that my fake name is Burt.

Burt lives in an age where curious women can’t help but Google every man they meet. The problem is that Burt’s real name and nickname is unique enough that both lead to the page you’re reading right now. Burt was tired of consoling crying women who found out about his blog after sex and tired of losing prospects who found out before sex. The latter group didn’t want to have anything to do with a man who has written horrible things and has proclaimed his desire to use women as nothing more than cum receptacles.

Burt’s game plays up his worldly experience and creative-type background. He tried rolling with fake office jobs but they didn’t match his personality. The vibe was off because it didn’t explain why he has been to so many countries and likes to talk about culture and life and happiness and all the stuff that comes from not having a soul crushing 9-5 job. So Burt is a “travel writer” who writes little city guides that “focus on the nightlife.” He downplays his work as boring and when a girl asks to see a sample, Burt says that his sister is going to send a care package with his latest book in a month, knowing full well that the odds he will still be talking to the girl by that time are just about zero.

Burt got a fake email address and linked it to his fake Facebook account, locking up the privacy settings so that girls can’t see each other. He also set up two browsers on his computer. One browser is for daily use and the other is for when women are over, with no bookmarks or history that could lead to Burt’s real identity. Since girls love showing Burt their favorite songs on Youtube, one of the first things he does when he gets a girl in his place is to launch the safe browser. But when he takes a shower or cooks a meal, he gets a little nervous that a girl will click the wrong button and find his secret life. He’s thinking of ways right now to eliminate that chance.

Burt started introducing himself to guys as Burt. It’s not because he’s scared guys would find his blog, but because it gets confusing on what name someone knows him as. He’s Burt to everyone now, even taxi drivers and landlords. He even has a resume with Burt as his name.

Burt hides his passport and credit cards. It would be disaster if a girl found out his full name, so he makes sure to keep that out of view. Surprisingly, not once has a girl asked him to see any identification. Burt can be Jack or Stan and he could get away with that, too.

Burt was hesitant to use a fake name at first. What if he falls in love with the girl? What if he wants to get married? But then Burt looked at his past, and realized that it never really mattered if a girl knew his real name or not. If it came down to marriage, Burt would say that Burt is a nickname. “Remember when I told you? You were probably drunk.”

Burt is surprised how gullible women are. He knows he could make up just about any story that is slightly connected to his life and a woman will believe it. Burt used to pride himself on spitting “honest” game, but now he will lie if he thinks it will help him get laid. He found out that only logistical lies are useful, not the “I make a billion dollars” lie. He will lie that he is in town longer than he is or that his apartment is closer than it actually is. Burt’s last lie was telling a girl that after she comes over, he will personally escort her back home in a taxi. After he busted his nut, he could barely be bothered to call her a cab. Burt sees his little lies as being part of the game. In just a few years he’ll probably have to lower his age, too.

Burt is a manipulator. He will do anything it takes to get a girl to willingly come to his apartment. He will hit her with pleasure, pressure, guilt, romance, or cold withdrawal, whatever it takes to get her to open her legs. If Burt was evil, he could easily make these women sex slaves by entrapping them into his dungeon, but Burt is not evil—he just wants a lay, a tidy expression of his masculinity. The girl may even get to experience a nice orgasm in the process if she’s lucky. Burt knows he is dishonest about his real identity, but his lies do not result in physical pain, and very rarely emotional pain, so there is little guilt. He sleeps fine at night, as long as he doesn’t drink too much coffee during the day.

Burt is conflicted. He feels his identity loosening from his grasp, but he’s not making any effort to reverse the course he is on, of telling girls the truth. He has learned the hard way that girls are picky creatures and need certain requirements to consider a man for sex. She wants a guy who lives here? He’s him. She wants a guy who is interested in marriage? He can’t wait to find his soul mate. She wants a guy who loves dancing to club music? More Rihanna, please! He is everyone and he is no one.

My name is Roosh. No girl knows the real me. They think they know me, but they couldn’t even begin to imagine who I really am. They will never find out.

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Fedor
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Fedor
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“He is everyone and he is no one.”:

http://www.waggish.org/2011/borges-on-shakespeare/

Armenian
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Armenian
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Why Burt? That name won’t get girls wet.

Old Glory
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Old Glory
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Put two user accounts on that computer. Always log out of the one with your real identity. Problem solved.

If you want to go a step further, you should encrypt the hard drive too.

Invictus III
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I’ve actually contemplated coming up with a new identity or even a few (a la Jason Bourne) just to make things fun while going out. If my goal is a one-night-stand anyway, what’s the harm?

Colonel Crimson
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Lorenzo von Matterhorn!

Steve Lurkel
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Steve Lurkel
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Yup, what Old Glory said.

computer help
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computer help
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For the truly paranoid you could simply put two operating systems on and dual boot. That way nothing she could ever ever do could fuck any of your shit up as they would be truly separate. Just put like Windows XP as the girl operating and Windows 7 as yours on the same computer. Google dual boot windows. Not that hard.

Also, when you come back from taking a shower and she’s clicked yes to every popup on the planet, installed that dancing blue gorilla, and somehow managed to let every russian hacker in it’s no big deal since al your real shit is on the other OS.

CPG
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CPG
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I wondered when the time would come where you’d have to hide your identity with pickups…once the controversy from Iceland hit I figured it was inevitable sooner or later.

“He sleeps fine at night, as long as he doesn’t drink too much coffee during the day.”

haha good line!

Re: lying about age, I’m already there at 30. I had a one night stand with a 21 year old last week, and when she asked me the day after how old I was and guessed that I was 24, I had a feeling she’d be freaked out with the truth. As it was, lying with 28 still upset her and took some work recovering…I’ve have just rolled with the 24 if she wasn’t local and hit some of my regular spots.

On the other hand, in June I had a ONS with another 21 year old who thought I was 24/25, and post coital when I told her “30” she actually said it attracted her more. But, with her I just had a feeling she’d be cool with older men

Tree Soap
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Tree Soap
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Dude u are funny

Rationalist
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Rationalist
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Use incognito mode on Google chrome. It never saves anything, it’s like a completely fresh browser every time.

cookie9001
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cookie9001
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My name is Rexford Baynes.I don’t use Facebook or Twitter after an incident occurred that I’m very vague about.
Sometimes I have to leave the city or country because “there’s business I need to attend too.”
Sometimes I forget my real name and actually become Rexford Baynes.
Sometimes his fake memories and life are so vivid that I actually wonder if they didn’t really happen at one point.

Rexford Baynes wasn’t always my identity, but then again this wasn’t always my life.

muc
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muc
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Sadly, Burt, there’s one way they might find out easily soon: Facial recognition software. I heard it already works in Facebook, only a matter of time until a girl is able to snap a picture of you and Google you with THAT as the search query.

[Roosh: :shudder: ]

David Led Roth
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David Led Roth
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It’s getting to the point in the western world where every guy will want to use an alias just for dating. And the remark about facial recognition technologies, while maybe not fully refined as of late, will eventually become so. It’s creepy just how Orwellian the dating scene is becoming.

George
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George
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Significant food for thought Roosh.

How much will I share with the girl I end up marrying in terms of everything I’ve learned about game? Will she ever know my pseudonym?

When girls ask me how I know how to give them multiple orgasms, or wonder how they instantly felt so comfortable with me, I just smirk. I think I’ll just keep smirking, haven’t let anyone other than my best mate in on how I learned everything I have.

vavavum
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vavavum
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@12 & Roosh,

It might be a good time for plastic surgery then

Nomad77
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Nomad77
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I started doing this AFTER a girl Google me and found out about all of my business ventures and real estate holdings. She even found out about my family, where I live, how old I am, my friends, all kinds of stuff. America makes all kinds of information public about you. There is almost no privacy here and now there is facebook. So I just started using an “alias” about a year ago. It’s even on my business cards everything. Then I went back and carefully erased all references to my real name especially any pics. I have two facebook profiles but the alias is the one I use the most. About the commputer. Had the same problem. Best thing to do is to create two user accounts on the computer. One you normal use and a “Guest” account. Then you don’t need to worry about browsers history etc. AND use encryption software to create an encrypted folder for all sensitive material on your drive. Very easy to do a jpg search and pull up all your images…

David H. Fucktrelle-Male Feminist Extraordinaire™
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oh, rooshiepoops, uh, pervBurt…..

so no one see’s your ID when you enter bars????

I always suspected your hipster beard and excessive arm hair was merely a disguise….

So, what’s next, the post that roofies work when game doesn’t?

Phil
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Phil
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Of course Burt shouldn’t feel guilt. Girls lie to him and to themselves 24/7.

Burt is just practicing self-defense.

Veen
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Veen
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“when he takes a shower or cooks a meal, he gets a little nervous that a girl will click the wrong button and find his secret life. He’s thinking of ways right now to eliminate that chance.”

I use a 4 gb TrueCrypt container. Inside the container I have: Firefox Portable, other portable software, my documents and photos and everything else that’s personal. 4 gb is plenty and easy to backup on a thumb drive or DVD, but it can be any size.

When the container is dismounted, the laptop/desktop becomes 100% “neutral”. I don’t have to worry about people snooping around when I’m in the bathroom or shower. They can root around till Kingdom come, they won’t be able to find anything apart from some music, some movies and some ebooks. One-click peace of mind.

http://www.truecrypt.org. It’s free.

Ben
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Ben
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Ben, achem, I mean James knows exactly where you’re coming from. Including hiding different accounts.

Tip, as others have said, have two accounts:

“Administrator = you”

“Burt” = your “real” account.

Good luck burt.

Sons of Liberty
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Sons of Liberty
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Burt is smart. Burt takes steps to avoid the clutches of the feminazi police state. Because of Burt’s anonymity precautions, he is likely able to avoid false rape accusations, false pregnancy threats, false domestic violence accusations and is able to be bolder, more dominant and in control of his bitch inside and outside the bedroom without fear the feminazi state thugs will break his door down because some feminist didn’t like the way he was treating his bitch. Congrats Burt, you are the few and the proud, you are anonymous. Fuck the marines.

David H. Fucktrelle-Male Feminist Extraordinaire™
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oh, rooshkie, uh, Bertvert….

Can I be your Ernie…. uh, wingman….

then y’know when we don’t get any ladies at the end of the night we can still cuddle like the real Bert and Ernie—platonicaly of course….

unless you have something more risque in mind 😉

:hump:

The Specimen
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The Specimen
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This reminds me of one of my pussy getting-est buddies when I was coming up. He’d yell half the people at school his name was James, and the other half that his name was Semaj, so that if terri women he was fucking ever talked to each other, they wouldn’t know they were fucking the same guy.

Sure lying to chicks makes you a scumbag; but would you rather be a scumbag that gets laid or a truth teller who doesn’t? That bring said, it ain’t like you’re out there strong arm robbing motherfuckers, regardless of some of the reactions you may get to this post.

Older Brother
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Older Brother
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My guess is we just a few years away from search engines where you can submit a photo and have that individual’s true identity returned.

Melville
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Melville
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Haha, ease up Patrick Bateman. Did you just read/see American Psycho recently. This feels like the first chapter from some sort of fucked up book I would love to read.

Best post for a while. Keep up the good work.

masculineffort
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If I used a fake name, it would be Bruce, or Jason! Burt probably does not do it for the ladies. But then again, you probably don’t use Burt

Rationalist
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Rationalist
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Roosh: the other option you have is to become more famous, more successful in game. Guys like mystery and Tyler Durden don’t have to hide their identities.

This is because at a certain level of fame, it switches from positive to negative. Mystery basically has groupies from what I hear.

Roro
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Roro
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“There is an idea of a Roosh, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our travel lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.” – Roosh

that guy
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that guy
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Yeah i just have two user profiles on my computer, one is password protected. If a girl asks, i just say i have all my pasaword saved on that profile thats why its private.

HeManMasterofthePooniverse
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HeManMasterofthePooniverse
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I think I’ve used every one of those besides changing my name. Something to think about, because I get caught a lot by having a noticable name.

that guy
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that guy
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Side note, maybe you could mutlitask and write a travel guide for places you travel too under a different name, and for a different target audience? Maybe make some extra minoy and have a legitamate alibi

LS
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LS
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Roosh is Keyser Söze.

Willy Wonka
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I’m not surprised… you were already destined to head toward this day the moment you quit calling yourself DC Bachelor and started using a nickname that was “close enough” to your real name.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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@32: LS: “Roosh is Keyser Söze.”

Fuck yeah he is, and we should all be the MotherFrakkin’ Keyser. (Kaiser??)

Burt should consider legally changing his name in some country or other, and getting personal travel documents to match. Go with the full-on new identity. It will make life easier in the long run.

Percy Fulton
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Percy Fulton
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wonka is correct, shoulda been doing this from jump. i employ these tactics & don’t have near the web presence that u do.

take a cue from ya boy roissy…also check out “how to be invisible” by jj luna.

Tampa
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Tampa
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A girls ability to Google is actually an asset if you have an alpha level job. It takes care of all your DHV work without even having to do anything. Just don’t mention what you do for a living and then go home and let her find out.

No man on this planet should be on facebook. You gain nothing by beingo on Facebook and one bad picutre can ruin hours of pickup work.

No clue why any man with half a brain would be on Facebook.

SamBellamy
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SamBellamy
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What ethnicity do you tell them you are? I am sure they ask.

Dean
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Dean
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I have a question about name changing or second names. I’d like a second name or an alias, but one not traceable to my real name. Is that possible. I have shit that I want to hide and I hate using my real name. Facial recognition software and the databases that go along with it and wide-scale use are probably a decade away. I’m not worried about that now.

What I want now is a name that is untraceable; a name that brings up NOTHING on Google.

What’s the best way to do that.

uvilo
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uvilo
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Hmmm….If this becomes commonplace then it’s time for sluts to start charging ala Latvia.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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“so no one see’s your ID when you enter bars????”

He’s been spending all his time in Europe fucknut.

Big Ern
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Big Ern
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I keep three facebook accounts.

One with my real name that has 20-30 friends an a basic photo of me, for employers doing searches on me.

One which is my “real” one, which has the hundreds of contacts I’ve met through the years, and uses a fake name but one that is phonetically similar to my real name. It also has a comical picture as the profile pic, instead of my face.

And finally another one with a totally fake name and photo, which I use for any OpenID login scenarios, which are ominously becoming increasingly common in order to post comments and opinions online, so I can spew my bile in complete anonymity.

I am considering creating a 4th one for the purpose of misdirecting girls with which I want to have short term flings with. Up until now, my “real” facebook account (with the explicitly fake name) has sufficed, since I’m fairly up front with reasons for trying to stay incognito, and that account doesn’t really contain anything objectionable. However, women are becoming very suspicious nowadays, and therefore might get spooked at the use of a pseudonym in Facebook, hence the desire to spawn a 4th facebook acount, the NiceGuy account. The only problem with it is then needing to use that fake “Burt”-type name in my social interactions. At this point, I don’t think my situation is enough of a hindrance to justify this 4th account just yet.

FSK
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FSK
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Here’s a Windows security tip.

Create two logins. Create one for “Burt” and one for “Roosh”. When you’re logged in as “Burt”, the browsing history for “Roosh” won’t be visible.

(Theoretically, if the woman was smart enough to go to the “users” directory, she could figure it out. You can make the directory locked and not visible to other users. Don’t be so stupid as to call the other login “Roosh”.)

Giovonny
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Giovonny
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I once lied to a girl about my name and nationality. We fell in love soon after. I told her the truth, it was a nightmare! I should have never told her the truth or at least waited another 6 months so she was really invested in me and would forgive me more easily. I told her like a month after we fell in love, to soon to reveal the lie. Fuck!

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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If you have to lie about yourself to get laid you are living a pretty miserable life.

Nomad77
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Nomad77
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@Giovonny It’s not a problem to tell someone the truth. I just tell the WHOLE truth. That I use an alias to protect my privacy. I don’t want someone finding out where I live or how many companies I own.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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@38 Pick a generic sounding name that you share with a celebrity. Will Smith, Alan Jackson, Jeff Gordon, etc. It will be impossible to find you on google.

Rael
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Rael
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Roosh –

Ever read Dan Savage?
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove

There’s years & years worth of archives to go thru
if you’ve never heard of this guy before.

You should learn the difference
between a CPOS & a HND someday.

Eugenius
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Eugenius
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Metamorphosis in progress…makes me think of that movie Faceoff

ALPHA MALE BIG BALLS
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ALPHA MALE BIG BALLS
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Why are you hiding anything from these women if they are not your Wife? You don’t owe them anything. If they snoop and find something, then that’s on them. I don’t owe an explanation to anyone of these bitches. I had a girl come over..and I had to use my computer to look up something and she glanced at my tabs, and saw some Japaneses Porn open…I’m a Black guy by the way…She was a black girl, so naturally nosy, she asked me so you like Asian women huh, I said you better believe it. And that was that…no need to hide anything if she not down with the program…then you could always get another one to take her place.

Umm
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Umm
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Roosh, you’ll be in jail on rape charges within a year.

You will be innocent, of course, but that won’t matter, cause you have pissed off the law enforcement agencies of a dozen nations and any of them can come after you.

Changing your name to Burt isn’t gonna do anything.