Never Tell A Girl That You’ve Been In Love Before

Remember the ending of Ghostbusters, where the woman demon Gozer asked the guys if they were a God?

Gozer: Are you a God? [Ray looks at Peter, who nods.]

Dr Ray Stantz: No.

Gozer: Then… DIE!

[They almost fall off the building.]

Winston: Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!

Now say you’re on a date and the conversation gets on relationships. Here’s an important rule to keep in mind:

If a girl ever asks if you’ve been in love, say NO.

No exceptions. There are two reasons for this.

1. The little competitive creature inside her wants to be the first, popping your cherry, so to speak. You’re officially a “challenge.”

2. She wants to dig deeper to find out what’s “wrong” with you, if you’re a sociopath or just cold-hearted. During that process of discovery, she relaxes her guard and you can sink your tentacles deeper insider her, eventually including your big tentacle.

Not to mention that saying you’ve never been in love opens up a lot of interesting conversational threads. For example, if a girl asks my thoughts on why I haven’t been in love, I simply reply, “I’m dark and disturbed. Some people aren’t made for love. Other people are made for… cutting flesh.” That line guarantees me at least a makeout.

I’m not sure now why I included the bit about Ghostbusters. Seemed fitting at the time.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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College Game
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College Game
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Agree, can’t say I agree with the line after though; I feel it would get a laugh from any girl with a decent head on her shoulders.

alliemarien
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if a guy is a challenge…it’s so frustrating…i’ll put in some extra effort. but would it be just as powerful to be indecisive?

alliemarien’s last blog post: What You NEED to Cook.

NYB
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Wow… First in six months =)

I love this post btw, mainly because it points out what I’ve been doin wrong several times. I always thought it would be romantic to say you’ve been in love but you’ve cleared it out for me. Thanks Roosh smile

I bought BANG two weeks ago and I may start a blog documenting my journey to havin ‘Tight Game’.

Hammer
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I think that this is generally good advice for someone who’s inherently beta, but telling girls that I’ve been in love before has never been an issue. Maybe it’s because I tell them that I’ve been in love twice, and when I fell in love the first time and went through that breakup I thought I was never going to be able to find another girl like her, but when it happened a second time I realized that it though few and far between, there are an infinite number of women who I’m capable loving so I’m more willing to walk away from a bad relationship when I’m in love than I otherwise would be.

Hammer’s last blog post: NFL Betting – Week 4.

thedcam
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thedcam
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The alternative is to say you’ve been in love with every girl you’ve ever met. Not only that you love TV, you love books, you love tacos, you love coffee mugs, you love sidewalks, you love door knob handles, you love lint, etc. This way when you break up with her and she says “but you said you love me” you can say you also said you love lint.

thedcam’s last blog post: January Jones Is Not A Pornstar.

Lee
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Lee
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come to think of it i’ve always said “no” and got a good response. i was just telling the truth *gasp*
haha…. now thats fucked

Christian
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Christian
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My truth is that I feel I havn’t been in love but have been infatuated and during that time thought I was in love. Should I leave out the part where I say I’ve been infatuated?

JM
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Even though I don’t agree with it, there’s a line about love in “The Elementary Particles” that I’ve used in conversation before just because it’s some cold ass shit to say to someone, especially if you barely know them: “…in fact, I’d say men aren’t capable of love; the emotion is completely alien to us. The only emotions we know are desire– in the form of pure animal lust–and male rivalry.”

What I say, only because it’s the truth and I’d never thought much about the weight of this question, is that I felt love exactly once, for a few days, but that I think that after a certain point, a man loses the ability to feel love, and that I’ve past that point long ago.

The Truth
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Roosh thanks for bringing back comments. Currently enjoying a dead bat in….. Good work.

Red
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Not so sure I agree. If a dude has never been in love a chick will have to wonder if he is even capable of love. You know like those dudes over 40 who have never been married… Commitment issues, you know.
Now don’t get me wrong I understand the point is to get into her pants but if she thinks you have loved and lost and thinks you are capable of love then maybe she can bring it back into your life and she is just the person to do it. That might be in a dude’s advantage.
It could be played either way.
For a chick… my male friends say to keep the dick on the side and don’t fuck the dates. Oh and not to fall for the dick.

Red’s last blog post: Save the Ta Tas.

The G Manifesto
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I actually say “yes, I have been”.

But I do that more because with me it seems like I never could.

A cross over, if you will.

I think it depends on the person what the best answer is.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Reality Star’s Homes Heisted (Kourtney Kardashian the latest).

Me Guy
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This is great advice for someone who has trouble with girls and must constantly try to appear interesting. But it came from Roosh so I guess that makes sense.

To any young men who are reading this and thinking that Roosh gives good advice…. just focus on yourself. Get into some interesting work or start a business. Read and work out and be outgoing. You don’t have to turn yourself into a prick to get laid.

SKIZZLE
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I believe the GManifesto also dropped this line in his teachings….

“I have been with a few special girls in my life.”

That sentence packs a huge punch. Never used it though…

Wilbur Simonson
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I agree with Red. I’ve been asked many times by women if I’ve ever been in love. I’ve always told them the truth, which is never. Then, they ask how many relationships I’ve had, and how long each lasted. Telling the truth always causes me to fail their congruence tests.

gio
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love this blog…all respect to roosh, g, kona, kerouac, and all the other vets…..as you guys know…it aint what you say, its how you say it…..did you get that rookies?

you can say anything you want and it will work if you say it with enough confidence and you seem to not give a fuck….i guess thats called aloof game and inner game…i don’t know…i don’t really study game..i just approach alot of girls and do what works….alot of trial and error!!

NYB
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Would it make sense to say I was in love with one girl or “a few special girls in the past.” No. Simply because the girl has now reason now to try and set that precedent, or to be that one girl that “showed you what true love feels like.” Chicks live for that sort of stuff, as if it was a fairy tale.

No disrespect to everyone that disagrees with the post, but being an open book is Beta Behaviour. For the little time I’ve been in pickup I’ve found that keeping myself a mystery (to some extent) gives me a nice edge.

XGEEX

The G Manifesto
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SKIZZLE

“I believe the GManifesto also dropped this line in his teachings….

“I have been with a few special girls in my life.”

Even I forget some of my great lines.

That one works really good when a girl asks you how many girls you have slept with.

To go back to my earlier point, I think it really depends on the person. (obviously)

Younger up and coming players will do good with Roosh’s line.

Older Playboys, might not want to seem like a perpetual bachelor to some girls.

Unless the girl is into that sort of thing.

So much of Game is recognizing “who” the type of girl you are talking too and knowing “how” she perceives you.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Reality Star’s Homes Heisted (Kourtney Kardashian the latest).

torchbearer
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What about something like: “Well, my first true love was… (brief pause)… my mom, of course! (Let her laugh or respond or whatever.) But, ah, other than that, no.”

This response keeps the mood playful and light-hearted, shows you in a good light (You love your Mom!), but it still ultimately answers “no” to the real question at hand.

Input, anyone?

Chris
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Roosh makes some valid points about the advantages of letting a woman believe this.

IMO, frankly if your a ‘sexworthy’ guy to a girl, it doesn’t matter if you tell a girl that you’ve been in love or not. Think about the best naturals that you have ever met. Would it matter what they said in this instance? Never. They’re pulling regardless. Answering questions like this is just filler/noise over the real attraction, or lack of, going on. If your good, than answering yes or no to this will open the girl up more. It depends on your overall frame. Either way. Some girls will back a way from a guy that they view as too playerish.

If the rest of your game is strong, than you may want to say yes to this question to soften up your image and to make her think that she actually has a chance. Of course, I’d be basically telling her that I was going to have sex with her from the start, and so she would know that I was ready to get down with her.

What creates that attraction? On the deepest level its the fact that you communicate that you dont need anything from her, including sex or a relationship, but would and could screw her silly if given the chance. In other words, you communicate that you’ve been in the N-Zone before, would score with her if given the opportunity, and that you have options. That also sends the basic vibe that Roosh describes in telling her you’ve never been in love. That is, it isn’t likely that you will desire her for a relationship, but you are a man and you will have sex with her. Doing the opposite of either makes it more likely that her attraction will be diminished in the beginning stages of the game.

Sinestro
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Why bother lying? Just tell whatever the truth is. It’s not like it’s hard to meet girls. If your answer turns her off, meet somebody else.

Laura
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Haha, the Ghostbusters anecdote just seriously made my night, although I’m not sure I see the connection.

Laura’s last blog post: Guilty Pleasures.

Jon Cruz
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Roosh makes a good point. To give the naysayers and betas an example: Valentine’s Day two years ago. Myself and a wing were w/ two girls at a bar. Since it was v-day I said “Raise your hand if you’ve ever been in love.” All three of them raised their hands; I didn’t. “What, OMG you haven’t been in love?” they both said. At bar close one of the girls invites me back to her place and you can guess the rest.

Now of course, the ‘never in love’ thread by its self didn’t get me laid, but it was a good weapon w/ the rest of the arsenal that night. Always use this on V-day with single girls and you’ll have good results.

The G Manifesto
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Roosh,

“The last thing you want to do is make it seem like you have a good relationship with your mom.”

Do you really find that to be the case?

Whenever it comes up, I always let a girl know I have a great relationship with my mother.

I have found it works good on girls from broken homes and on very high quality girls from good families.

Especially girls from good families.

Just goes to show, there are many different ways to swoop girls. And admittedly, from what I can tell, our Games our probably opposite side of the spectrum.

“A more intriguing route would be “What do you mean by love?” Make her describe it, the feelings, etc.”

I do like this route though.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: South Beach Saturday Night Limo Move.

The G Manifesto
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Jon Cruz,

I see how that move would have worked.

Kind of a classic, make yourself stand out, be different, mysterious and opened a huge line of questioning.

In short, you made yourself “interesting”.

Solid.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: South Beach Saturday Night Limo Move.

Chris
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Haha, yeah..be yourself…and be the guy that any half competent player could take a girl from…

The rare naturals can be themselves and not have to worry about it. Id say thats about 1 in 30 guys, in my experience. If thats not you, and you want to reproduce with the girl of your choosing (not a girl that you settle for because you cant get the girl that you want, but a girl that you choose), then, its sad to say, that you cant be yourself. Heartbreaking, but true.

Why?

Because those other 29 non-naturals will pine over the girl over their choice. They’ll imagine a relationship, and most of their communication and sub-communication will be driving toward this goal. This is as obvious to the girl as her own face, and the guy will be put in the probably not-never zone quick. There is no excitement or emotional challenge for the woman. She could have you at her whim, and so there is no point in having you.

Grow some ice over that heart, ye legions of non-natural love stoned brothers, and ironically have access to more intimacy as a result…Sex and love is given to those that need it the least…Its a twisted system, but it is what it is.

inSOMnia
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inSOMnia
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But rooshie you and I have been in love.

mAcrOny
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I get what Roosh is saying, its just like telling a girl that you are a virgin.There is Something in girls that makes them want to be a guys “first time” because they feel like they are showing you a experience that you might not have experienced with out them.

Red
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Definitely DON’T use the Mom thing. That isn’t a challenge it’s a dare.

Red’s last blog post: Save the Ta Tas.

Me Guy
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Roosh,

I did not say be yourself. I said focus on yourself… meaning actively do things that will make you into an attractive mate for women. Being yourself is lame and gets you nowhere. Working on yourself is not the same as being yourself. The best way to improve your chances with girls is to become something more desirable… not to read advice given by pickup artists and treat hooking up with girls like some special skill that you can learn.

Love, Me Guy

Eric Disco
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I can see your point. But…

If you have been in love before, why lie? Ultimately, lying to a chick in order to try and reel her in is beta.

I don’t lie to chicks. Ever. Fuck them. I refuse to alter one iota of my reality for some girl. This is who I am. Welcome to my world.

This doesn’t mean I don’t frame things in my favor. Or change myself to become better. But by lying to others, you are telling yourself, over and over, that you aren’t good enough the way you are.

You start to search your brain for the “correct” answer that will please her in some way rather than just be who you want to be.

Am I saying “just be yourself”? Yes, in a way I am. Of course, “just be yourself” is never as simple as people say. Saying “just be confident” never helped anyone.

But ultimately being yourself and being confident is what we’re going for here. And lying is something that erodes your confidence in yourself.

Eric

The G Manifesto
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“I don’t lie to chicks. Ever.”

Lying…Truth, its all the same thing.

Most times I have to lie for people to believe me.

The Truth is too unbelievable.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: South Beach Saturday Night Limo Move.

Eric Disco
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I find this very hard to believe, especially if you have a stable of girls going. When Saturday night rolls around and more than one girl wants to hang out with you, do you tell one of them, “Sorry baby I’m banging my other girl tonight but let’s do something monday night.”

No. I say “I’m busy. How about Monday night?” And if she asks what I’m doing I tell her I’m hanging out with a friend. And if she asks “Who?” (and it rarely ever gets to this point) I say “Stop asking so many questions. What are you, Nancy Drew?”

I don’t rub it in her face that I’m seeing other people. At the same time, I don’t lead her to think we’re exclusive if I don’t want to be exclusive.

Being 100% honest is SOO liberating. Yes, it sometimes gets me into slightly hot water. But I’d probably get into hot water if I were lying.

The thing is, as a nice guy, I used to lie to friends all the time. But it was almost always to placate them, to take care of their feelings, etc. Instead of just saying “Not in the mood to go out tonight,” I’d have to make up some excuse. Fuck that. I’m not in the mood so I’m staying in. No excuse necessary.

Being honest is extremely alpha. There’s a whole movement about it called radical honesty. Check out this article from Esquire called “I think Youré Fat.” I don’t take it to the extent he does it, but you get the idea.

http://www.esquire.com/print-this/honesty0707?x

Eric

Carl Sagan
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I totally agree with this advice.

It’s great since I’ve never been in love to begin with.

I, too, once thought it would be better if I lied in order to appear more “normal”. But telling a girl that you’ve never been in love (when she is ALREADY attracted to you) is solid game.

Carl Sagan
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Everybody lies all the time.

It’s what makes the world go ’round.

Maximus
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When it comes to questions like this, I tend to usually answer with questions. In this particular instance, I ask her to define what love is but ask it in a way that almost challenges her i.e. “Love (brief pause/sip of drink)… I suppose I’d have to know what your perception of love is because that term seems to rather relative these days, much like the word hate”. This gets a quick laugh, forces her to think and puts me in control. Unless she gives me a terribly shallow explanation as to what love is, my answer will end up being no, but this adds to the conversation and allows you to have some fun with it.

It all comes down to taking the lead no matter what you’re doing with a woman; such is the beauty of Game.

Lauren
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Female chiming in here.

Whoa. Do you guys really think this? I found this site because I’m dating a guy right now who told me that he’s never been in love. I know he isn’t seeing anyone else and I know he digs me. I like him and am attracted to him, but when he told me he’s never been in love it just made me think – what’s wrong with this picture? He’s 27 — tell me if my expectations are unreasonable.

Anyway, I am getting past it because I know we all have different life experiences and maybe he just hasn’t meant a person who really captures his heart, but it absolutely leaves me wondering if his heart is even capturable and makes me want to take it SLOWER. A smart, loving girl who is self confident is not likely to put herself in a position where she’s sharing herself with a guy who could end up hurting her.

Still, I wouldn’t recommend that you lie about having been in love – either way – if you really like someone. Honesty is the best policy with good girls and the best relationships are honest ones and that foundation is laid early on in the relationship. But if you’re just trying to get laid — I’m sure you can pick up lots of girls who are superficial, naive, lack intuition, or have low self esteem by creating and maintaining a facade (which seems like a lot of work by the way).

I do like the idea about talking about what love means to each of you because people have different definitions. I’m going to have this convo with him at some point.

TyKo Steamboat
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& how did it all turn out with that guy 5 years ago?

therealdeal
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“And if she asks what I’m doing I tell her I’m hanging out with a friend”

Roosh that’s not called lying, that’s called being DIPLOMATIC! the truth has many facets…but yeh, it is not necessarily brutally honest…I believe that brutal honesty can hurt more than it can help, it can get you fired, divorced and put in jail!

Herman Gruenwald once said “if you want to succeed in life, then you have to be honest….but not stupidly honest”

Eric
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Roosh – I enjoy your site, and like reading of your travel experiences because I can relate to alot of it.

However, I dislike you telling your followers that one way is the correct way, and that is it. I don’t think that is true. Roosh may want to you to think he is God of girls, so you will buy his books – hey this is a business. I can’t hate.

But hey, if you want to tell a girl you have fallen in love – Go for it, if it is true. It all depends on the type of girl, and more importantly your past experiences. I agree with being yourself, as long as you have confidence and not look like a little pushover about it – go for it.

Going into situations worrying about the advice from one man which is backed by a “harem” of blog followers, will only likely lead you to question what you naturally will say. Unless your a skilled actor, you questioning yourself can be seen a mile away. Be confident, lead with your own thoughts – you’ll sleep better at night, and in my opinion, have better chances than questioning yourself due to what some guy told you.

No disrespect, Roosh. I enjoy your stuff. Just my opinion

AR
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I stumbled on this website by accident and read many of the responses. From a female perspective, I think men should know that honest open conversation is the only way to make a true connection with someone else. We can all tell when someone is being truthful or beating around the bush….well, after a certain age at least. When someone isn’t authentic, they cease to be interesting, because there is nothing real there. Each human being’s journey is so different and unique — and if you really want to see if you have a connection with someone, you have to open up about who you authentically are. A 20 y/o man or woman saying they have never been in love doesn’t raise as many eyebrows as a 30 or 35 y/o man or woman saying that. It does raise questions of being pretty guarded with your heart….most people have met someone that they cared about deeply, even if it was one sided. Love comes in lots of shapes and forms, and doesn’t necessarily mean that it was reciprocated or even known. The truth is there are so many incredibly beautiful souls in the world, it is hard to make a life journey without someone bowling you over. The way someone describes another person they cared about always interests me because it says so much about the way that they love. This is incredibly fascinating. If we aren’t ourselves, there is no possibility for real connection. The most seductive thing in the world is someone who likes you for who you are and vice versa…..there is nothing that gets near it. So be yourself!

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Anonymous
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I find it interesting how AR above says that a 30 year old can raise an eyebrow if they haven’t been in love before, and I mean real love.
Some people wear their emotions very surface and others need it’s deeper which simply isn’t easy to find. Everyone that’s single has never found their perfect partner either, otherwise they wounldnt be single.

Nick
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You are fucking hilarious, man. A really slick writer w/ sharp wit. And it’s educational, to boot. Big up.

Anonymous
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Lol what a troll blog this is.

33
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33
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100% true
Plus there are further points why it should never be mentioned.

point number 3
3. women are jealous creatures. she would always question your past even when its really over.

4.women fear men that have knowledge about women.it gives you a Edge over her..you know women how they think etc but you act like a idiot thats falling in love for the first time.
hence your experiences will guide you..and she will underestimate you if she is manipulative.

Be very careful of manipulative women
They number in the Majority easily 70%

if you want to live a long life prepare yourself and always be 10 steps ahead and put your foot down anytime you feel displease or offended.

IF you care more about your relationship then your personal honor
then your not being a MAN and shes going to dump you for it anyway.

Anonymous
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“I’m dark and disturbed. Some people aren’t made for love. Other people are made for… cutting flesh.”

Would that line work on anyone apart from a 14-year-old emo with self-esteem issues?