Remember the ending of Ghostbusters, where the woman demon Gozer asked the guys if they were a God?
Gozer: Are you a God? [Ray looks at Peter, who nods.]
Dr Ray Stantz: No.
Gozer: Then… DIE!
[They almost fall off the building.]
Winston: Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”!
Now say you’re on a date and the conversation gets on relationships. Here’s an important rule to keep in mind:
If a girl ever asks if you’ve been in love, say NO.
No exceptions. There are two reasons for this.
1. The little competitive creature inside her wants to be the first, popping your cherry, so to speak. You’re officially a “challenge.”
2. She wants to dig deeper to find out what’s “wrong” with you, if you’re a sociopath or just cold-hearted. During that process of discovery, she relaxes her guard and you can sink your tentacles deeper insider her, eventually including your big tentacle.
Not to mention that saying you’ve never been in love opens up a lot of interesting conversational threads. For example, if a girl asks my thoughts on why I haven’t been in love, I simply reply, “I’m dark and disturbed. Some people aren’t made for love. Other people are made for… cutting flesh.” That line guarantees me at least a makeout.
I’m not sure now why I included the bit about Ghostbusters. Seemed fitting at the time.