Not All Women Of The World Want An Alpha Male

If you only interact with women in the United States, particularly the big cities, it’s easy to conclude that most of them want an alpha male. They want an outspoken, masculine, and cocky peacock that treats them poorly and plays hard to get. They don’t want an agreeable nice guy who gives them compliments and shows eagerness in wanting to take them out. Only by displaying alpha traits did I get laid as I came of age in Washington DC. Before I started traveling in my late 20s, I didn’t even think that women of the world would want their men any other way.

My game softened while I was in South America, but not too much. While I could be more affectionate and caring, the women of Brazil, for example, loved men who pursued them aggressively. The women of Colombia, used to dating mini drug lords, wanted ambitious men who weren’t shy about displaying their means. They seemed to want a 33% beta and 66% alpha man, a mix that didn’t clash with my prior held beliefs. It’s only when I got to Europe that my alpha male model of seeing the world started to collapse.

In Iceland, I noticed that the women didn’t care if you were alpha, just that you were good-looking and had a private room. In Denmark, I had to become an silent uber beta just to get laid. The more beta I was, the more Danish girls I fucked.

In Poland, I killed it by being a horny beta male. While I did approach and wasn’t shy about escalating, I complimented Polish women freely. I bought them drinks and even the occasional dinner, treating them like a girlfriend even if they weren’t. I wasn’t cocky and rarely teased them. I didn’t do anything to manually build attraction. I was just my talkative self and they were fine with that. The more soft and Drake-like I was, the more I was rewarded with their attention and affections.

I want to give additional clarification of what I mean by “beta.” I wasn’t supplicant and I didn’t hold their purse while they went to the bathroom, but I wasn’t an asshole either. I wasn’t needy, I didn’t contact them often, I didn’t want to see them more than twice a week, and I didn’t buy them presents or flowers, but I didn’t play hard to get. I led the interaction, but I considered their suggestions and needs into account, such as asking them where they wanted to go or what type of food they wanted to eat. I did my best to increase their happiness, but I also expected something in return for what I gave them. I wouldn’t disagree with you if you said that my preceding definition of beta is “lesser alpha,” but for the sake of contrast lets call it beta.

There was no thought in my head that said to run alpha game on Polish girls, simply because they were so sweet and compliant. It wouldn’t have made sense. They showed up on time for dates, didn’t play games, didn’t argue with me just for the sake of arguing, didn’t stare at their phones every five minutes, and didn’t try to make me jealous by flirting with other men. Even in long-term relationships it doesn’t appear you need to run “relationship game” to keep their attraction level high. It’s true that I did use game to get the bang, but it was soft compared to what I run on American women.

The alpha model that you know well, that you use to bang American girls, is a temporary aberration in male-female dynamics, a preference that arises when a culture becomes sick and the functioning of normal relationships—and therefore society—breaks down. Alpha preference is not universal and not the way things have always been (all those studies done today that suggest the preference are being done on American and British women, not Polish or Estonian). While your father may be an alpha, he has no clue what alpha means, because there was no need in his time to actively become anything but a provider. If you think back to the times when women wanted ultra alphas, it was only when life was brutally short and resources scarce, but as long as there were stable tribes, beta providers were preferred. Providing was alpha.

As much as I want to blame feminism for causing women to have a predominant alpha preference, the women of Scandinavia are hopelessly drowning in feminist propaganda but do not prefer alpha males. Besides the occasional experimentation with a bad boy, they prefer subservient betas. A dominant alpha preference is present in only a handful of countries, most of them English-speaking. Even in South America, a place where alphas can do quite well, you’d be shocked at how many sniveling betas you see with beautiful young women.

I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that something is wrong with a culture if the women explicitly prefer alpha males. It makes illogical sense from a biological and humanitarian standpoint that a woman would go after men who will not provide or take care of them. Consider that women in America are mindlessly rushing to be used as cum buckets, which is being further encouraged by the media and Hollywood that makes fun of beta men for being boring, dopey, or unromantic.

To find out if a mating behavior is wrong or not, just use the sister test. Would you want your sister riding the carousel? Would you want her being subjected to what you do to bang American women? Or would you want her playing hard to get in order to find a good man who wants to take care of her forever? A society is healthy if the way you want your sister treated is the normal and prevalent behavior. This is the case in Scandinavia, Poland, and the Baltics, but we don’t have that in America, a place where women openly despise and mock nice guys. The irony is that my sister knows I treat American girls like disposable razors while at the same time understanding that I must do so in order to get laid, as if I have no other choice.

The broken American system has given rise to sexual jackals like myself who take advantage of the current environment, but understand that a broken culture is not needed to have an exciting sex life. My time in Poland was sexually just as fun, only less porn-like. My mood was more balanced, my interactions with women were more pleasant, and my overall stress level was low. It now seems almost perverse to me that I had to act hard and hyper-masculine to fuck girls, that I had to be a caricature of an action movie character instead of simply being positive, easy-going, and engaging. But that’s the American culture we have today. If you live in the United States, learn to be ridiculously alpha or move somewhere else.

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Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

Logically, it’s unclear why you had to leave the US to figure this out. If you ever met one girl in the States who didn’t prefer an alpha male, then reason dictates that you should have concluded that not all girls would want an alpha. So unless you never met one girl who wanted a beta, you should have figured this out a long time ago.

Matt
Matt
7 years ago
Reply to  Anonymous

The reason is completely obvious. Most AW are either prudes, have no standards, or fit Roosh’s Alpha-hungry stereotype. Some (maybe even most!) are better personality-wise, but when it comes to romance AW are just stereotypically bad boring women.

Theodora
Theodora
8 years ago

At last!! This post I get! Of course there’s girls who prefer that!!

Deb
Deb
8 years ago

Ukraine – Alpha

James Villiers
James Villiers
4 years ago
Reply to  Deb

you are in the wrong country then 😉

Yams
Yams
8 years ago

I remember reading a thread on the forums where guys were saying that providing for a woman was considered “beta”. That’s when I knew the whole alpha/beta argument was becoming nonsense.

Transmillenium
8 years ago

What about girls in Bogota? I don’t think they’re used to dating ‘mini drug lords’ like the girls from Medellin.

The girls I know like to date guys who invite them to dates, buy them stuff and have long conversations with them. The guys here are Beta, and the girls seem to like that but that doesn’t mean Im gonna turn into one.

Roosh, what do you reccomend to do with girls from Bogota?

Dulst
8 years ago

Alpha and beta are contextual. To a polish girl a provider is alpha, to a Brit/American, an asshole is.

There is a common theme though:

I bet the women in both “broken” and “unbroken” cultures found you exciting.

Alphaness distilled is merely the ability to excite women. Western women just get bored more easily.

Claudio Frollo
Claudio Frollo
5 years ago
Reply to  Dulst

True, most Brit men are just plain assholes with women, rather than Alpha, seen many who had apparent good game, get rejected, and they clearly got mad at the girls…pff pathetic and hateful(ofc not all men are like that).

A.B. Dada
8 years ago

There’s 3 methods of interacting with women:

1. Pull — this is the beta “chicken” tactic to try to grab the woman’s interest. It fails, unless you want to be a beta provider.

2. Push — this is the alpha “vulture” tactic that is used to let the woman check herself as to why you’re not interested, which usually ends up cranking the hamster wheel 500% faster. Good for one night stands.

3. Push-pull — this is the alpha “hawk” tactic that is used to keep the challenge up. Random acts of planned betaness is a must, but it works best for long term commitments where the woman will happily do your laundry, cook for you, rub your back, and give you sex on demand.

Peter
Peter
5 years ago
Reply to  A.B. Dada

Idiot lol the whole point of aggressive pursuit is to be the alpha male.

That’s why it’s the man’s role…everyone know this

How sheltered can someone be to think being the prey is alpha

Mr.GM
Mr.GM
8 years ago

Roosh , interesting that you mentioned Brazil , what you said is spot on , I always find the alpha male behaviour to be the gold standard to pick up hot chicks here.Possibly it is softer than the US standard , but its not Poland for sure.

Great writing.

Transmillenium
8 years ago

I see the growing influence of American culture in Bogotan girls, specially in the ones who have lived in the USA, UK and Canada: The Uptown girls, the “gomelas”…

These girls say they have to play hard to get, they don’t return your calls, they’re flakey, not reliable and they’re bitchy and overconfident, they see the submision to a man as a bad thing, as something from the patriarchy and machismo.

But sometimes I find the girls Roosh is longing for, but they’re the poor ones who come out of the slumps from the poor parts of the country.

around the world in 80 jobs

this post marks a good transition. I myself have struggled with this topic when trying to caliber behavior and alphaness in countries. It is always annoying to me how to nordic women any action I make is perceived as cocky unless it is completely some boring nonsense. My experience in both poland and colombia was similar. More dating and being a interesting guy game. No need to act like an asshole, just a guy who can take the lead. But there also lies the rub-you have to put in the time usually. Esp. in Latin America, the flakiness factor is huge.

Here in Mexico at the moment, it is taking awhile to transition back to this dating, putting in facetime game vs alpha dominant posture. But looking back, I can see how trying to make a more dominant outgoing game work everywhere was also short sighted.

Thanks for the reminder.

Jake
8 years ago

Excellent insights.

I’d lived in most of Western Europe before moving to the U.S. At the time I didn’t think ‘game’ and trying to get laid. Pre-U.S., all that just kind of existed in a balance with everything else.

Living in the U.S. changed my perspectives. Since I wasn’t trying to get a new chick every week, I didn’t analyze what was happening. In hindsight though, I was getting angry and jaded, and depressed – without realizing why.

It wasn’t till I dated some real depraved manipulative whores that I discovered the U.S. concepts of manosphere and game. After that, things improved a lot – and by improved I mean that I insulated my own state from female surroundings.

Once I left the U.S. I realized that what I’d been doing there isn’t necessary in much of Europe. It did help my understanding of pair bonding dynamics, and I can definitely get a lot more pussy on demand, knowing what I’d learned in the U.S.

Similarly in Asia, the whole ‘alpha’ thing isn’t equally necessary. Speaking the language, understanding the culture, and always being in pursuit helps a lot.

America is fucked up. Either you end up being the bitch to society at large and women in particular, or you turn into a calloused asshole.

OldManTakeALook
OldManTakeALook
6 years ago
Reply to  Jake

the times I’ve been out of the states
girls follow me, fall all over me to be with me

in the states
they fall over each other to treat me like a used cunt rag

fuck em

The Specimen
The Specimen
8 years ago

A lot of that has to do with status obsession and materialism that runs rampant in American culture. Can’t speak for all of Europe, but at last in the parts I’ve been to good family, friends, food, wine, and the time to enjoy them were the main requisites for happiness. In the states there are no real solid requisites for happiness. People live to acquire shit, and attain higher status than the next guy. Broke people are miserable because they don’t have shit and society tells then they aren’t shit unless they do. People on top are miserable because they’ve neglected other things to make it to the top. People in the middle are unhappy because they’re trying to get to the top, and society tells them they’re losers for not making it. All this status obsession leads to a situation where everyone is asking themselves ”who am I better than?” This question is at the heart of what’s wrong with the states.

大川 JMizu
大川 JMizu
3 years ago
Reply to  The Specimen

holy shit you hit the nail on the head

Marmot
Marmot
8 years ago

Hmph, living in Croatia I often think that our women are very Americanized and a sharp contrast to the women of Poland or even Scandinavia. On the other hand, I haven’t ever been to USA so I can’t compare, but I have been to other English-speaking countries which, I’d imagine, come quite close to the level of decadence going on in USA.

Anyways… logical conclusion is that Polish girls are the best 😀

Palantir
Palantir
8 years ago

So, is a provider an alpha or a beta? Scandinavian women don’t need a provider because the state takes care of her and her child. Yet they seem to prefer a provider to some extent. The U.S. has less safety nets, yet the women prefer a guy who pumps and dumps?

Either this provider/alpha dichotomy is false, or women everywhere live in utter confusion. I guess #6 is close to the truth.

Samuel
8 years ago

Patriarchs are the true alphas.

Nomad77
Nomad77
8 years ago

Women in Europe still expects you to lead and be a provider. They want an Alpha they just want a nice one 🙂

jim hampton
jim hampton
5 years ago
Reply to  Nomad77

The dumb bitches can’t have everything.

solo
solo
8 years ago

I’m Scandinavian and have lived there for approximately 26 years. I disagree that the beta huys are more sought after than the alpha guys. Almost all my experience tells me otherwise.

Maybe when girls get to their late 20’s/30’s suddenly beta guys have it a lot easier. But all the way from kindergarten up to that point, no.

I should say I don’t regard being a provider to be beta. Actually, since there is no consensus on beta/alpha definitions it’s quite confusing to say that anyone of them works better in X country. It’s more important to discuss traits that girls look for in guys, and then each one of us can decide for he’s own if that is alpha or beta. As Roosh himself points out, when he says he had success in denmark as a beta, he still harboured a lot of alpha traits.

Being a strong guy, a leader, dominant, social status etc definately get you more girls in Scandinavia in my opinion. In my life I’ve seen a lot of assholes getting all the girls, while the nice guys always have struggled (of course there are always exceptions). Actually, I consider the saying “nice guys finish last and bad guys get the girls” to be one of the core truths in game. As a lot of game theorists have pointed out (including Roosh), the welfare state can be one of the reasons for this: as girls in Scandinavia don’t need guys to provide the necessities.

Very interesting topic. I’m somewhat confused. We need to ponder this more in order to come up with a more universal game theory.

solo
solo
8 years ago

I definately agree that there is a much lesser need to be a bad guy in much of Latin America, where I have travelled. This is only necessary when dealing with the upper-middle-class and upper-class girls which have had a Western influence. With other girls, being a nice guy is better (to a certain point).

Neil Strauss said that we shouldn’t confuse nice with weak and bad with strong. Women want nice and strong guys, not bad and weak. (I disagree that this is true for Western countries.)

OldManTakeALook
OldManTakeALook
6 years ago
Reply to  solo

Why the fuck should we give women what they want?

Yanina Sitnihenko
Yanina Sitnihenko
5 years ago
Reply to  solo

This article is useless because the author doesn’t have an authentic understanding of who is an alpha male. True alpha males have tonight to do with being “cocky peacock””hard to get”.
Do not confuse real alpha males who is first of all a true gentlemen who’s never going to show sights of disrespect to a lady .( even if she doesn’t even deserve any respect) They are very caring and they know how to treat a lady. Alpha males don’t play hard to get they just simply not interested in you. If they find a lady worth their attention and time they will give her all the affection she deserves! And they are smart as you know so they have a very clear idea of what women want .

although ..they are very independent and sometimes they make you wonder if they even have a need in anyone .They like to make spontaneous plans that not always will include their girlfriend.And their soulmate needs to be ok with that. because that’s just the way they are ..you can’t limit their freedom in any aspect of life.

jim hampton
jim hampton
5 years ago

You are a moron.

James Villiers
James Villiers
4 years ago

feel like i am reading a horoscope…

kstech
kstech
4 years ago

Romance novel?

solo
solo
8 years ago

Palantir, you also have to factor in that about 50% of American women are fat, which inflates the value of the rest. US also have more and more safety nets now, although not as much as Scandinavia.

Sorry for my triple posts.

The Glee Manifesto
The Glee Manifesto
8 years ago

“Hell,” Dostoevsky wrote, “is the inability to love.”

nguyenimproved
nguyenimproved
8 years ago

hmm. interesting post mr roosh.
i like it.

you really seem to be your own man. some of the puas stay in a loop but i follow your blog and you’re an evolving piece of work, seemingly not afraid to question the pillars of your belief systems.

dare i say, you’re exactly like what einstein would’ve been today.

if he’d renounced kyke-ism and been born a muslim obsessed not with discovering the speed of light

…but the speed of panties dropping.

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

I think you were popular in Poland because the guys here are really pathetic… Everyone who had guts died in the war or emigrated under communism, and real men have gone extinct. Also, maybe women in America are so horrible because of the pill and high hormone levels in meat and dairy?

Anonymous
Anonymous
8 years ago

I love this post. Roosh, so you were nice to Polish girls, and you did bang them. Would you consider them whores/sluts/skanks/what have you or would you just call them “normal girls/women”? Also, this makes me wonder what kind of sex you consider porn-like. How are American women different in that regard?

Ian Ironwood
8 years ago

Interesting insights, Roosh, but I think you aren’t taking a nuanced enough approach — not to the responsiveness of East European and Scandinavian women, but in the concepts of Alpha and Beta.

The terms have been used and misused by so many, and their meanings change based on the precise application you’re speaking of, that they start to fall apart when used in general theoretical discussions. However, I think the simplest way to break it down is to describe Alpha as behavior that inspires an oxytocin (excitement) response in women, while Beta is that which inspires a dopamine (comfort) response in women.

American women have out-sourced their comfort through a diverse network of paid service providers — the lawn man, the handyman, the pool man, and the Ben and Jerry’s scooper. They’ve used their impressive earning power to provide all the comfort that was traditionally provided by a husband, and then supplemented their emotional needs with pets or romance novels or stuff told from the vampire’s point of view. They don’t need comfort, so they despise Betas even as they use them like rental cars. They crave Excitement (oxytocin), which Alpha behavior inspires. Hence the carousel, the loathing of Betas, etc. They’re jaded. They’ve been told that adult womanhood is filled with excitement, and when they don’t get it (good and hard and regular) they move on to the next novelty cock.

Women of Eastern Europe (I’m guessing) have less personal security and therefore less need of excitement and more need of comfort and protection (dopamine). They don’t have the same over-inflated sense of entitlement their American peers do, and they’re far more aware of how fleeting their youth is. An American is already exciting (novel) enough to get their oxytocin going, so by following up with a little beta-inspired dopamine is going to make them happier.

The Scandinavian women . . . personally, I think that Scandinavia in general is headed for a big cultural retrenchment in the wake of the European financial meltdown. They’ve been at the top of the cultural food chain since WWII and they’ve gotten jaded by their cushy life. They have government-provided dopamine from the social security programs the Scandi countries are so famous for, and a general scorn about “Alpha Men” due to their role in the economic melt-down.

Instead of looking at the women in the Scandi countries, look at the men. They used to be Vikings, the most fearless and feared pirates and raiders and conquerors in the world. Then they were the bravest sailors in the world. What do they look like now? That’s the more interesting question.

I can’t see American women’s reactions as “sick” necessarily, unless you firmly adopt the relationship ideals of agricultural civilization. For post-industrial folks, they’re just doing what the economy and culture dictates. But the interesting thing about them is that they are ephemeral elements of a culture in transition: feminists and corporate wom-bots are not reproducing.

The two-parent cooperative family model is clearly superior for raising children successfully, in terms of concentration of resources and childhood enrichment. Considering how many resources each succeeding divorce takes away from the children involved, hypergamy is handicapping the poor kids from those broken homes or single-mom homes while kids from two-parent homes are doing better socially and academically. Within another generation or so, as the post-industrial economy sets into our culture in earnest and new advances in reproductive technology change the game yet further, I think we’ll see lower birth rates, less divorce, and fewer but more long-lived marriages.

Of course a lot of this will depend on collective manhood’s ability to transition from Single Game to Married Game, but I have great faith in y’all. In the mean time, keep up the good work.

G
G
8 years ago

I love these posts that are more philosophical. I am a beta type by nature, but that is so despised and discarded in the current culture that I am not able to just be myself. I have to use shields/walls to avoid being taken advantage of.

I like the sister test – it automatically clicks and I understood it without having to give it much thought at all.