I’ve been noticing a trend in self-help circles of being “outcome independent.” It’s when you don’t worry about the outcome and just put in the attempt and shrug your shoulders at the result. Outcome independence reminds me of kindergarten where you still got your gold star even if you didn’t accomplish anything.
Let me ask you this: were important men of history outcome independent?
Was Alexander the Great outcome independent when he decided to conquer the world?
Was Hitler outcome independent when he wanted to conquer Europe?
Was Theodore Roosevelt outcome independent when he wanted to be the most badass US president the country has ever seen?
Was Martin Luther King, Jr outcome independent when he wanted to eliminate segregation in the South?
What happened when these men suffered a set back to their goals? Did they say, “Oh, no problem, maybe I’ll have some better luck next time”? No, they got mad. They analyzed their mistakes, adjusted their strategy, and tried again until they succeeded.
My advice for you is to be outcome dependent. If you don’t succeed, you should get upset. You should feel down in the dumps. If do your ten approaches in the club and walk away empty handed, I don’t expect your head to be held up high. What went wrong? What can you change for next time? How will you use miserable feelings as fuel into getting what you want?
Understand that even the smartest of men come up with rationalizations to protect themselves. It’s hard to admit that you failed and came up short, but not doing so will put you farther from your goal. Separating your emotions from the desired result is a guaranteed way to rob yourself of a great motivating tool. Depend on the outcome and fight for it.