God why won’t he stop. Doesn’t he see you’re squirming over here? That’s it—cut off all eye contact. Good job now draw lines on the table with your finger. He’ll get the hint. What—he’s starting a new story, Jesus Christ. How can he not tell that you’re disinterested? Okay now turn your body language away from him. There you go. Start reading the magazine now. Don’t nod your head or make any sounds of acknowledgement to his “amazing” night out. Wow… he’s still going. What’s wrong with him? Is he brain damaged? How do you get this asshole to shut up?
“Hey man I think I got diarrhea I gotta go use the toilet, later.”
“Oh shit, hey you want some medicine?”
“No no I’m good, thanks. I have a feeling this is the type of diarrhea that will be with me for a couple days, until I check out. Goodbye.”
Some guys are hit with two whammys: they’re boring and they can’t read even the simplest body language signs. The result is a person who goes on and on about stupid shit and simply won’t stop until you have to get borderline rude. I met a Swiss guy in Brazil who had this problem. He was the type who didn’t need feedback on his lame stories—he just wanted to say them. I’ve been starved of social interaction during some lonely stretches on the road, but I’ve never felt the need to make someone uncomfortable.
There were two portly German girls staying in our Pousada and the Swiss guy went to chat them up. He’s a good looking guy and the girls received him well, but ten minutes later he knocked on my door and said, “They’re not very interesting. I think they like black men because they were friendly to the guy who works here.” If he saw me talking to the black guy the night before he’d think that I like them too. His reality is skewed.
You don’t need to be an expert in body language to the point of mind reading, but you need to be able to tell whether a girl likes what you’re saying or not. If she doesn’t like it, then wrap it up or change topics. If she does like it, keep going and milk it for all it’s worth. It’s that simple, but unfortunately not for the Swiss guy. You’d think this fact would be common sense in most humans, but I’ve met eldery people who do the same thing. I’m literally jamming pens in my ears and they keep going as if I was interested. On one side I live in a society and don’t want to be rude to people who aren’t purposefully offensive to me, but then again my lifespan is limited and there’s only so much I time I can waste.
Unfortunately not all of your stories are going to excite others. It has happened many times when a girl is falling asleep while I’m telling her about various moments in my life I firmly believe should one day be incorporated into Hollywood films. A part of my wanted to double down and finish the story with even more detail, but I do the right thing—I wrap it up and change topics. Interactions can always be saved, but not when you ignore what your audience is telling you.