Player Or Poseur?

blue_gin_and_spank_020.jpg
Babe Ruth Jr.

Poseur. A real player would never point at a camera; it’s akin to posing with a bottle of Grey Goose above your head as you party. You tell the world, “Hey look how lame I can be when someone has a camera in their hands!” A real player would take a picture opportunity like this one to wrap his arm around the girl near the ass area, or at least look down her shirt. Instead, this guy stares off into space, wondering why some other guy is wearing the same Old Navy shirt at him. And I know it’s from Old Navy because I have the black version (only for work, of course).

Related Posts For You

newest oldest most voted
Anon
Guest
Anon
Offline

I thought you meant the girl. She is a hostess at Black’s in Bethesda but poses as a model with connections. I laughed as she sat me and my date to our table.

Morrison
Guest
Morrison
Offline

”¬†thought you meant the girl. She is a hostess at Black’s in Bethesda but poses as a model¬†…”

And since this article was written in 2006 I’ll bet anything by now the female in the photo has been riding the cock carousel for many years, and has since been chewed up and barfed out by her own life style, with several strains of herpes in her stinkbox. If she was lucky enough to dupe some dumbass into wifing her up, I don’t envy him.

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

My call: He’s a model, or at least a model wannabe (the stand-and-point-with-a-vacant-look-on-your-face is one of the moves they teach in modeling school, LOL).

KassyK
Guest
KassyK
Offline

I have to disagree…she is obviously smiling like she wants a piece of him–she is happy to be posing with him…hence, whether he’s the biggest tool on earth (he obviously is)…he is still a player.

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

Kassy . . . shh! . . . if you keep reminding them that it’s all about what WE want, they’ll either 1) get pissy, and/or 2) eventually abandon their delusions that they can somehow control the game with the right shirt, drink, car, gesture, blah blah blah. And that would spoil all our fun, no?.

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

does it frighten you to think that men have the means at their disposal to attract women AT WILL? to CONTROL how women perceive them?

Jay Gatsby
Guest
Jay Gatsby
Offline

Roissy — the “means” at the disposal of men are power, money and fame. Throw “charm” in there, and a guy is unstoppable.

KassyK
Guest
KassyK
Offline

JayG–I think intelligence, humor and good looks are more appealing than power, money & fame. But that’s just me.

But you are right on the charm thing…its EVIL!!

smile

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

Here’s what I really think: The wrong shirt, bad grooming, the wrong attitude, a poorly thought out gesture (i.e, coming off like some assclown) can absolutely KILL a man’s game, so much of a man’s decisionmaking in this regard comes down to damage control.

But does the opposite apply? Can a man control a woman’s perception with acoutrements? HMMMMM. Maybe. Really thinking about this. Maybe with the really young, really dumb little things, and for only the shortest period of time, but if this IS the game, well then! Play on!

I think what I was trying to get at was that DCB could probably wear his black Gap shirt to a club, order a pink drink (!) and even – gasp! – point at a camera, and no sane woman would diss him for it because she’d be too busy checking out his eyes/biceps/chest/ass/whatever to even notice.

DC Pimp
Guest
DC Pimp
Offline

Yet he’s with a girl (that appears to be enjoying his company) that is much hotter than the one you jerked over in that commercial last week.

And btw, why don’t you just get it over with and start playerorposeur.blogspot.com? It doesn’t have the same ring as hotchickswithdouchebags, but who needs original material anyway?

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

gatsby, power is the meta characteristic that chicks dig most, of which money and fame are subsets. of the two, i’d say fame trumps money. if i had to draw up a list of what traits attract women from most effective to least, it’d be:

1. fame (the right kind of fame)
2. money (a LOT of money. a mere million won’t do it.)
3. mental dominance (this is the most cost-effective trait to develop)
4. intelligence + charm
5. looks

for women, the list is:

1. looks
2. feminine personality
3. willingness to experiment sexually

“so much of a man’s decisionmaking in this regard comes down to damage control”

cautious second-guessing is for losers.
if a man wants to play the game to win he won’t treat the field like it was strewn with landmines.

A
Guest
A
Offline

She’s happy to be with him cause she’s coked up. He’s got a blank stare on his face cause he knows he’s got $12,000 in credit card debt and, tomorrow, he’s gonna be asking mommy for a loan.

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

I’d suggest “not coming off as some assclown” is Job #1 of the hardcore, committed Casanova. It’s like the #1 in $1,000,000 – – take away the 1 and all you get is a bunch of zeros.

Sweet Baby Jesus
Guest
Sweet Baby Jesus
Offline

Man some of you guys are about as delusional as Cosmo Kramer. No consistent rationale behind your insanity. Dude should get props for:
1. Not wearing a gawdam stripe shirt
2. Partying with Neo’s girlfriend “Trinity”, from the “Matrix”. Follow that white rabbit………………
3. Happy Thanksgiving bitches…..

Jay Gatsby
Guest
Jay Gatsby
Offline

Anyone notice that they’re both posed BEHIND the rope? In other words, they’re in the club and pointing at the losers who aren’t.

Also, is his collar popped-up? His shirt looks like it’s one size too small, the better to show off his bar body (NOT).

baka-san
Guest
baka-san
Offline

amen DC pimp…

Joe T.
Guest
Joe T.
Offline

I don’t know, but wouldn’t a real player (by definition) be flashing gang signs?

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

if george clooney came off like an assclown would he:

a. begin experiencing the sting of rejection
b. not notice a dent in the # of women willing to fuck him

Joe T.
Guest
Joe T.
Offline

I actually think he is a “playa”, because a playa wouldn’t care about how he is seen on camera. The essence of playa-hood is: (1) Your movements are naturally cool and confident; (2) But even in awkward moments when you’re not cool and confident, you keep it real, and don’t give a #!%* how people perceive you, and you don’t consciously attune your gestures thinking about how they’d be seen on camera.

Sweet Baby Jesus
Guest
Sweet Baby Jesus
Offline

I don’t know, but wouldn’t a real player (by definition) be flashing gang signs?
*********************************************
You from Kentucky???

KassyK
Guest
KassyK
Offline

George Clooney is the biggest closet homosexual of all time.

Mark my words–He will be out as a gay man by the time I am 40.

He can have sex with ANYONE he wants…but what he really wants…is a big fat dick.

He’s hot but hes flaming.

Cosmo Kramer
Guest
Cosmo Kramer
Offline

Dear all of you:
Please stop frontin like your all hip and cool and regurgitating what you read in Cosmo magazine and hear on Access Hollywood. Non of you fuckers are experts so stop the elistist b.s. DCB you better step your fucking game up because dudes come to this blog to read about brawds getting their backs blown out and sniffing their knee caps during some heated sessions. I don’t read this shit to hear gawdam dating advice and observations from upper 20-30 something singletons. Save the tiger beat advice motherfuckers and show some brazilian ass.

Gangsta Barbie
Guest
Gangsta Barbie
Offline

Hey DCB what ever happened to your Best DC ass contest????????????

Joe T.
Guest
Joe T.
Offline

Cosmo Kramer – “singletons”? What is this, Notting Hill?

Jay Gatsby
Guest
Jay Gatsby
Offline

Hey Cosmo, shouldn’t you be looking for work? Oh wait, that’s right, you just sank your career. Even your boy Seinfeld won’t stick up for you.

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

Roissy:

a) Absolutely he’d be feeling the sting of rejection, and from the kinds of women he actually WANTS.

b) Maybe or maybe not. Some women are still willing to fuck Russel Crowe, or rappers with prison records, so WTF? But you gotta wonder about those women.

99% of the guys reading this blog will never have any REAL money or fame to speak of, so there’s no point to recommending either as some magic key to being able to ignore the Prime Directive: Don’t Come off Like Some Assclown.

Roissy can get away with being an assclown because he’s a bottom-feeder; i.e., he preys on insecure whack jobs at the absolute bottom of the psychological barrel. :suspicious:

TC the Terrible
Guest

He’s gay. She’s stoned. It was supposed to look like the 90’s version of the Wonder Twins from the SuperFriends cartoon.

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

a)
keep telling yourself that.

b)
that’s a yes.

“99% of the guys reading this blog will never have any REAL money or fame ”

this fact does not dispute my point that fame and vast wealth will attract the highest quality women more reliably than any other leading indicator of alphaness. it is so powerful a pull that men who possess these attributes are often the biggest assholes around. why? because they can be.
that is why i noted above that the most cost-effective method for the average guy to improve his game is to master the art of psychological dominance. in the fat middle of the bell curve where a few 10Ks in either direction or a social circle +/- 50 friends make very little difference to the attraction a woman will feel for a man, a concerted effort to understand the nature of women and to apply that understanding in all his interactions will boost his lay ratio with quality girls ten-fold.
as for intelligence and looks, since they are innate i don’t include them as traits that a man can markedly improve through effort, though he can certainly ruin his genetic fortune by ignoring their maintenance. they are best viewed as tools to help him acquire the dominance that is universally attractive to women.

“Roissy can get away with being an assclown ”

do not assume the hurt i have caused you extends to my treatment of all women.

“he preys on insecure whack jobs ”

false premise.

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

“do not assume the hurt i have caused you extends to my treatment of all women”

Roissy, bottom-feeder men do not have the power to “hurt” the HPS. Better luck next time.

:boring:

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

“bottom-feeder men ”

would it make you feel better if this were true?

?hurt?

those scare quotes will come back to haunt you when, old, alone, and unloved by any man, your bitter tears roll down your sunken eyesockets over your wrinkled cheeks to stain pillows that provide meager comfort against the storm gales of harsh reality.

“HPS”

humbled post-menopausal schoolmarm?

“Better luck next time.”

luck ain’t got nothing to do with it.

almost forgot! tick tock…

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

Roissy, your barbs only work on women whose self-worth depends on the approval of men such as yourself. I exist in another realm entirely, off in the nosebleed section where you can’t even see me. So, how goes the search for that mail-order Ukranian bride, anyway?

Voice of Wisdom
Guest
Voice of Wisdom
Offline

Roissy: demonstrating how awesomely alpha he is by getting into anonymous arguments on an obscure blog’s message board since 200whatever.

Don’t you have millions of hot submissive babes to be fucking?

No. You don’t. That’s why you’re here and not there.

This has been another Simple Answer to a Simple Question. Thank you, thank you very much.

George Constanza hates asians...
Guest
George Constanza hates asians...
Offline

George Clooney is the biggest closet homosexual of all time.

Mark my words?He will be out as a gay man by the time I am 40.

He can have sex with ANYONE he wants?but what he really wants?is a big fat dick.

He’s hot but hes flaming.
***********************************************
You have a better chance catching Cosmo Kramer performing live stand up at Howard Univ, then you do George Clooney being gay. I understand his position totally. Marrage and commitment to the same women is like Iraq. Once you go their you’ll be entrenched in a fucking mess that would of best been served by staying out of it in the first place. Keep your money and life George and keep these brawds on the fast break.

Joe T.
Guest
Joe T.
Offline

Hedonistic, with respect to “mail order Ukrainian brides”, I am indeed searching for one. It hasn’t stopped me dating American women and women of other nationalities, but I’ve come to the conclusion that, all things considered, I’m most likely to find a woman who satisfies my looks requirements (must be a solid 8 or above), via this route. I make no bones about searching for a Russian or Ukrainian bride, all my friends know it, they know where I go and why, and I encourage all of them to do the same. I’m not a loser, I make mad bucks and have a ridiculous amount saved, I’m reasonably good-looking, but I was cursed with very high standards, that’s all. I am well aware of the so-called downside of doing this (golddiggers, etc.) but to tell you the truth, that’s LARGELY a myth…

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

“off in the nosebleed section where you can’t even see me.”

please stay there.

“demonstrating how awesomely alpha he is by getting into anonymous arguments on an obscure blog’s message board since 200whatever.”

spot the irony.

mhm
Guest
mhm
Offline

George Costanza is right. What’s the point of getting married unless you are going to have children. Mr. Clooney is doing what any sane man would do.
Remember, if it flies, floats, or fucks it’s better to rent than to own.

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

joe t, one vital stat you should know about aging beauties like anhedonic — they fear competition even more acutely than do younger bonafide hotties because it could very well cause their sexual market value to plummet to zero. they are reminded of this depressing fact every day when they look in the mirror; importing huge numbers of hot foreign females from economically depressed countries who also blessedly lack hedcase’s ballcutting afeminine cackling and not-so-hidden bitter resentment toward men’s basic nature only serves to enrage them further. thus, they will toss about “mail order bride” as if it were an insult rather than acknowledge to their growing dread that men, like hot women, can now more than ever afford to adhere to very strict standards. with the burgeoning field of seduction science and evolutionary psychology the playing field has never been more level, to the benefit of BOTH men and women i might add. the ones who will feel the pinch the most in the coming epoch are women like harpy monsterbitch for whom a cure for fading looks has not yet been invented. (note: i said “cure”, not “ghastly surgical remediation”.) single momhood only exacerbates her woes, but the solution to that is simple… as long as she is willing to settle.
heh.
as for me, i have no intention of using a mail order bride as there are plenty of fine women of eastern euro heritage running around DC to satisfy my wants in between banging regular american chicks. FOBs and americanized, they’re all good to go if you know what you’re doing. but i harbor no ill will toward men who choose that route, and make no presumption that these russian babes are all green card whores. of the few that are, it is probably a better deal all around for a busy american guy to bask in the sincere love of a young hot golddigger than endure the sexless nights of a dumpy, nagging, shrieking feminist blowhard.
just saying, is all.

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

Roissy, you are simply giving me too much of your energy; please stop, you’re wearying me. FWIW I was married for ten years and left my husband of my own accord and on my own terms, and I do not seek another. Consequently, my so-called “market worth” – as you so gracelessly put it – is simply not relevant to the discussion. I’m not for “sale.” I enjoy the company of men when at MY pleasure, and the day I no longer attract them, I most likely will no longer care because I simply do not NEED them. They are my dessert, not my meal ticket.

(Incidentally, this habit of judging a woman’s human worth in terms her function; i.e., her uselessfulness to men, is so boring, which, in turn, makes YOU boring. And the HPS hates being bored, so just shoo.)

Joe T: Whatever floats yer boat!

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

“please stop, you’re wearying me”

as long as you continue posting your horseshit i will spend the few minutes to call you out on it at my leisure.
so tell me, why did you leave your husband?

“I do not seek another.”

do you want love?

“I’m not for ?sale.?”

if you have no problem living your remaining days a celibate unloved spinster on whatever money you have saved, then, yes, you can plausibly claim you are not for sale.
but you wrote above that you enjoy the company of men. whether for marriage, love, companionship, or sex you are very much for sale regardless of your huffy insistence to the contrary. your sexual market value… yes, your worth to men… will determine how successful you are at getting those things you want from men. as long as your personality grates like a serrated battleaxe and your age scars you the men whom you would like to spend time with will not bother giving you anything but a polite hello on their good days. the less generous men will actually call you out on your hackneyed delusions because they will not care one whit about how attractive they are to you. you will gradually find it more and more difficult to charm anyone but your cat.

“I simply do not NEED them”

you have a need for people to pay attention to you. hence, your presence here and your public blog. the day is coming when you will be ignored by all men, and then, by all women but your fellowtraveling nurse ratched bluehairs. instinctively, you know this, which is why you post photos of yourself in cocktail dresses and talk up a big storm about your sexual tastes in a ploy to demonstrate you haven’t become irrelevant.
but enough of your needs. the bad news is that it’s your wants that will suffer the most.

“They are my dessert”

would you call love a dessert?

“makes YOU boring”

odd such a boring guy keeps you responding to him.

KassyK
Guest
KassyK
Offline

I don’t think he’s gay bc he’s single…I am actually not one for marriage or monogamy in all situations so I understand his stance and if he was straight I would say “Good job, George”….I think he’s gay bc he’s GAY. Duh.

Mad1
Guest
Mad1
Offline

Ok lets end this now. This guys is a posuer why: because A – He has a band real players would not nead a colored band to tell you what areas of the club to go to.

B- Why he doesn’t have his arms wrapped around the girl. One he probably doesn’t have the balls. Two she is only taking a picture with him to make him happy. PS. (She is a club promoter /model)and according to the first post works at Blackie’s. The real players you will never see on Camera because they are in back with the real women.

Jewcano
Guest
Jewcano
Offline

I honestly couldn’t give a crap about these two, but a few things. For one, if you’re in a pic with a girl that decent looking, and you don’t have your arm around her, you ain’t fucking her. Second, I think that girl is doing a halfassed try at devil points. Much props. Third, the guy looks like he’s 5’4″. Not a player. And finally, what in the hell is he looking at? Is the photographer jingling his keys with his other hand to distract him?

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

Roissy – I’ll keep this short, this is Roosh’s blog, if you really want my life story you can read my blog. Hm. The reason I divorced. I truly loved my husband and still do: We’re still friends and (literally) neighbors. Unfortunately for several years after the birth of our child I was very ill. He traveled constantly, I felt like a single parent, and eventually I decided I’d just rather BE a single parent, because the job of Wife (it really is a JOB) truly SUCKS. Why some women supposedly yearn for this role is truly beyond me.

He didn’t want a divorce, but it didn’t matter: I didn’t want to be The Wife! A simple story, and a sad one, and that’s that. I never asked for a dime of alimony or child support, and never received a dime, either. Bottom line is I make too much money for either.

As for this player/poseur thing . . . I hate to take the fun out of this game because I love trashing strangers as well as the next person, but . . . aren’t we playing into a false dichotomy? If one is not a player, MUST he be a poseur? Just askin!

mhm
Guest
mhm
Offline

Is it even desirable to be either?

Joe T.
Guest
Joe T.
Offline

Why can’t we all just get along??!!

Veggie
Guest
Veggie
Offline

Hedo: This is Roosh’s blog. If we really wanted your life story we would read your blog (which we don’t).

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

Veggie, my blog stats tell me otherwise but to each his/her own. Happy Thanksgiving to you too!

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

veggie, to be fair to hed, i asked her about her failed marriage. if you want to bitch about being bothered to turn your eyes away from reading things you’re presumably not interested in reading, then send your vituperation my way.

hed, some comments.

“We’re still friends and (literally) neighbors.”

have you seen him bring home hot women?
if so, does it bother you?

“because the job of Wife”

what job, specifically, do you mean?
in your answer, please do try to keep both feet on the ground and avoid feminist bromides.

“I never asked for a dime of alimony or child support”

i admire your integrity.
seriously.

“Bottom line is I make too much money for either”

ah.
now we are getting somewhere.
you are aware of studies showing that a woman having a high income, especially one having higher income than the men she dates, correlates with lower chances of getting married and higher rates of divorce?
if not, let me introduce you to one of those facts of human nature you seem hellbent on dismissing with a wave of your pop psychology terms of evasion.
unless your ex-husband brought compensating factors to the table, there is a strong likelihood that the income disparity worked to corrode the attraction you once felt for him at the beginning of the relationship when he showed signs of “potential”. having failed to keep up his end of the bargain through either lack of ambition or unfortunate choice of career, you slowly, and quite subconsciously, began to grow cold at the thought of sleeping with him. you were probably not aware of the real reason for the loss of love other than to point your accusing finger at backwards-rationalizing smoke & mirrors like “he doesn’t keep up his end of the housework”.
now perhaps he was less than supportive during your illness, or maybe you suspected him of cheating while he was on the road (a well-known risk of spending many nights in hotel bars away from the family), in which case you could turn to the explanatory convenience of those shortcomings to buttress the emotional walls you were erecting between you and him.

“As for this player/poseur thing ”

women don’t want players.
they want alpha men.
and these are not the same thing.

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

Roissy/All, at the risk of appearing completely lame for posting on Thanksgiving (so sue me, turkey’s in the oven!) here goes:

1. You are in no position to project your delusions on my relationship(s).

2. You ask of my ex? My 6’5″ Ken Doll biathlete with the six-figure income? (seriously, he looks like Big on Sex and the City). He’s been in two LTRs since we separated and no, I’m not jealous of these women in the slightest; I’ve met them both. Frankly, my sex life runs circles around his.

3. If you’re going to spout relationship psychobabble yourself, you might as well get it right, so here are the REAL statistics on two-income couples, marriage rates and infidelity, so bone up and report back when you’re done:

http://www.pobronson.com/blog/2006/08/response-to-forbes-dont-marry-career.html

Until then, this conversation is on indefinite hiatus.

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

Ms Cleo
Guest
Ms Cleo
Offline

Man if i had to profile hedonistic I would say:
1. College educated. Liberal degree
2. Single
3. Would claim by choice but actually its by rejection because men grow fucking tired of her hollywood lifestyle and diva attitude.
4. Believes that by fucking six figures “Mr Bigs” that she must be attractive and important, fueling her narcissistic attitude. Linking his salary to her vagina.
5. Puts herself first before others including family.
6. Has about 100 grand worth of Credit card debt
7. Role plays that she doesn’t care what other people think about her, but when she lays in bed alone late at night, wonders what people think about her.
8. Lives in total fear of everything, never taking a risk but criticizes everyone else who fail at trying.
9. Had a Jenna Jameson type life. Grew up in some trailer park out in Oklahoma and moved to Cali to be an “Entertainer”.
10. Believes that its fucking necessary to lecture everybody and role play that she’s some psychotherapist based on reading Elle, Cosmo, Readers Digest and watching Oprah, Dr Phil and occasionally Jerry Springer for knowledge and advice.

hedonistic
Guest
hedonistic
Offline

Psst! Cleo,#1 and #9 cancel each other out. College educated is the only thing you got right (sorry, science degree, bzzzt!). Actually I’m just a divorced mom livin and lovin and burnin pies in New Jersey. But hey, thanks for playing.