A friend was recently telling me a story about a wingman of his. It seems this guy has good game and a lot of balls. He is the type of player who will approach any girl at any time, even if she is with her boyfriend. One time his wingman walked right up to a girl in a bar who was with her boyfriend and totally captivated the girl to the point the wing had his arm around the girl and the girl was totally ignoring her boyfriend. The boyfriend kept trying to get his girlfriend’s attention but she blew him off to keep talking to the player. Finally, in desperation, the boyfriend grabbed his girlfriend and started kissing her in order to ward off the player.
This story got me thinking. It’s pretty obvious the girl above had no respect for her boyfriend. Who knows what her motivation may have been, maybe she was pissed at him for something he did and was getting him back, maybe things were good but she wanted to make him jealous, or maybe she just really dug the payer dude and got lost in a trance with him. But whatever the issue, she massively disrespected her boyfriend.
I could call the girl out for acting like a bitch, which she was doing, but I am more tempted to call the boyfriend out. Bro, how could you let your relationship get to the point where your girlfriend would disrespect you like that? Your girl flirted with another player right in front of your face while she was holding the drink *you* bought her?? When your girl thinks she can get away with that, that tells me you’re doing something very wrong. My philosophy is that men should take responsibility for their relationships. If your girl isn’t treating you right, fix things or get a new girl, but it’s up to YOU to manage your shit.
I really think it would be impossible for my girl to do this to me. I have very clear lines about what I consider disrespectful and if I feel I have been disrespected, my girl finds out very quickly. I think it’s important for guys to have firm rules for how they expect to be treated and they should not be afraid to enforce them. No, I am not talking about ‘pimp slappin your bitch.’ I am talking about being willing to have a direct and firm conversation and not backing down if she argues back. If your girl won’t agree to your lines in the sand, enforce your views by downgrading how well you treat her. If the problems continue, downgrade her from girlfriend to casual sex partner (or from girlfriend to dumped).
I may be coming off like some macho ass, but that is really not my intent. I am usually a big mush ball around my girl. I am extremely affectionate with her, both physically and verbally. In fact, if some of my old wingmen could see me snuggling with her, they would probably grow queasy, shake their heads sadly, and say I will soon be a broken man, sexless and cheated on.
I beg to differ. I can spoil my girl like a princess because when she crosses a line, she gets instant negative feedback. She knows that if there were repeated infractions it would have a serious negative effect on our relationship. I will not be in a relationship that emasculates me. Period. The end result? The number of infractions has decreased to nearly zero and 99% of the time she and I are warm and affectionate with each other. She does her best to please me and I do my best to make her feel loved and cared for. It’s the happiest and most beautiful relationship I have ever been in.
It’s all about respecting yourself and demanding that same respect from your girl. When you have those things in place, you can be as soft as you want and she will never tell her friends you are “too nice.”