I just finished taking my 5-hour beginner salsa class. If you are unfamiliar with salsa, it is a dancing style where the man always leads. This means my partner cannot do anything unless signaled by me, her God on the dance floor.
That leads to the main problem with salsa: I have to lead. When you are dancing with a girl to house or hip hop, you are doing your own thing and she is doing hers, with no real coordination besides keeping the beat. You grab her hips every now and then and rub your boner up and down on her and that’s it. But with salsa you have to think about what you are going to do next and if it’s a good move. Should I turn her now or do the cross body move? On what count do I do that intimate over-the-head caress / waterfall move? There are zero opportunities to rub your crotch on her and you can’t drink while dancing because both hands must be devoted to maintaining God status.
A friend of mine said I’d be an idiot not to learn how to salsa before going to South America. I have a feeling though that my five hours of experience will not get the panties wet. How was I supposed to know that being good in salsa takes months of work? Well, my backup plan is ready—“Hola, soy gringo.”