I’ve been writing since 1999, when I created a blog before it was known as a blog on the free web space that my university offered me. For the two decades that followed, I have written millions of words, much of it about how to fornicate. There is a challenge in organizing the chaos in your brain into the coherence of the written word, so I had to develop many habits to make my living as a writer. Upon my turn to faith, I thought that writing would become much easier, since I was now sharing the good news instead of instructing men how to sin, but truth is writing has become harder than ever.

It wouldn’t be inaccurate to describe writers as degenerate alcoholics. The reason, I believe, is that writing creates so much mental tension that the flesh demands a release in the form of drink or other harmful behaviors that yield an immediate dose of caused pleasure.

There were three pillars of pleasure that allowed my previous writing: coffee, alcohol, and sex. Coffee would be taken first, to create a buzz in my brain that motivated my fingers to more effortlessly dance across a keyboard. Then I’d drink alcohol at night to relieve the stress of writing while also counterbalancing the jittery effects of the coffee. And then finally the orgasm, which I’d receive either manually through masturbation or through sex with a woman. The orgasm was usually the culmination of my reward for a writer’s job well done.

I have greatly underestimated how much those three rewards fueled my writing, because now that they have been removed, along with most of the monetary rewards and the infrequent but ever-present prospect of cheap groupie sex, it has become twice as hard to write. During a writing session, I stare at the blank screen and the blinking cursor in states of immobilization for longer periods than before. I have to construct little outlines for 800-word articles that I used to spit out in one go with no preparation. Every sentence I now type I must fight for, and only rarely do I enter a state of flow where the words are gushing out.

God gave me the talent to write and then Satan hijacked it for his own ends, coupling it with a constant need for pleasure. I have had to disconnect my talent from those pleasures and write for God’s sake, for the uncaused joy he gives me at times I cannot predict, for a greater reward that will not come in this life. I can still write well enough, as I hope you’d agree based on my output in the past year, but every little article has become a fierce battle now that I cannot “unwind” after a hard day.

How can I manage to write more books? I don’t have any worldly fuel to keep me going, and it’s obvious that my own power is weak. The answer must lie in my prayer rule and faith. Unless I have an idea that is approved by God, that will serve His plan for the salvation of my soul and those who read me, from where will I get the motivation? How will the river of words be transmitted from my mind to the screen? I know I will never earn as much money as I did in the past or reach the height of internet fame that peaked around 2016, so it’s for God alone I must do this. May He be pleased with all that I will write and share with the world.

Read Next: How Coffee & Alcohol Addictions Are Linked

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How can I manage to write more books? ... Unless I have an idea that is approved by God, that will serve His plan for the salvation of my soul and those who read me, from where will I get the motivation?

If it's His will that you write, God will surely lead you to write what He wants you to. We often have ideas about what God wants us to do, but very often they don't match God's own plans for us. When I was a new believer, God had to rein me in somewhat, because I was restless and wanted to rush out and "do something" for Him. When I came to faith, I was expecting Him to call me away to some far-flung mission field. Instead, He spent years opening my eyes about the New World Order (or whatever one wants to call it) --- a difficult job, because I was intellectually proud and refused to entertain "conspiracy theories" --- and red-pilled me (similarly reluctantly) on men, women and the relations between the sexes.

I do not believe it is for nothing that the world's most notorious pick-up artist has ended up turning to God.

Even before you found Christ, you were writing about the truth: you were telling men things which were true, yet unsayable --- things which were politically incorrect. I remember years ago stumbling across RoK as a Christian and thinking what a curate's egg it all was: whilst there were articles telling the truth about women and female nature, this knowledge was invariably used to sinful ends. ...It always frustrated me that you could see clearly what the blue-pilled men in my church could not see (or refused to see), yet you were using this knowledge for Satan's purposes rather than for God's. But now --- mirabile dictu --- you have turned away from Satan and have dedicated your life to serving God. And God has a habit of taking things which Satan intended for evil and using them for good ends.

One of the most neglected mission fields today is men. Most modern churches are feminised and do not appeal to men at all. Certainly part of this is the godlessness of modern men themselves and their worship of women, money, status, and so forth; but the churches also have failed men. The churches are every bit as gynocentric as the general culture, and the men in churches are often either effeminate, or white knights out to impress women, or married men under the thumbs of their wives. Men in churches are routinely harangued and shamed (the Mark Driscoll school of "pastoring" seems to be very popular), yet women are seldom held to account in today's churches, no more than they are in the wider culture.

Modern man is desperately lost and, under the satanic tutelage of the secular world and entertainment industry, seeks meaning in romantic/sexual relationships: man has turned from God and has returned to his first and oldest idol, woman. Moreover, modern culture urges man on to new and ever-more self-abasing heights of devotion to his idol. Yet he finds his idol is childish, capricious and fickle, and cannot bring him the lasting happiness he seeks. Men need God. That is the job of the churches --- to reach these lost men. ...Yet the men in churches are almost as bewitched by women as their secular counterparts are.

You, however, did not grow up in a church and become the typical blue-pill Christian male. You spent years living in the sewer (like so many of us have): you know what it's like to be stuck there and therefore have a better idea of just how to speak to men who are growing disillusioned with the world, but who are repelled by feminised modern churches.

God chose you at this time for a good reason. Perhaps this is is it.

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It may be hard and non-profitable, but you are spreading Christianity to thousands of young men, and even if one soul is saved, your writing is worth it.

What I found is it's very easy to make money off sin. Satan makes it easy to make money off sex, porn, drugs, Marxism, "diversity," and violence. God makes it very difficult to make money off virtue and Christ.

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God makes it very difficult to make money off virtue and Christ.

Or, as a Christian friend of mine puts it, if you wish to ascertain what is the value of money in God's eyes, just look with what kind of people he usually leaves it.

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Just a thought. You say in your livestreams everyone knows you for the livestreams even though you're mostly a writer. Maybe turn your sail a bit in a different direction and see how that goes

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God makes it very difficult to make money off virtue and Christ.

You're wrong! Look at Joel Osteen. He has a huge "Christian" church and is very rich. :)

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Surprised that the forum server didn't burst into flames just from that sentence being posted.

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You're wrong! Look at Joel Osteen. He has a huge "Christian" church and is very rich. :)

You're totally right, and I'm totally wrong. Look at the Pope. He has his own country.

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Wow! Thanks for your transparency! I have never read of anyone's journey from the Kingdom of Darkness into the Kingdom of Light from a writer's point of view. You articulated it so well and after reading your article, I took some time to pray for your success as measured by God, not man. You will succeed if you keep that at the for front of your mind. Bless you!

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I would have to disagree with the idea that people should abstain from coffee and alcohol solely to prevent possible problems in the future. This is akin to telling someone to avoid food as they may become a glutton.

This is the train of thought that leads many Protestants to insist that Jesus turned the water into grape juice, not wine. As to coffee, I've never had any jitters or other issues personally. (My brain is helped by a caffeine kickstart, but it's seen some wear and tear over the years. As long as it keeps showing up at some point in the day, I'll cut it some slack.)

To each his own, but I've always done well following the old maxim of "Wine is a fine servant, but poor master."

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In a writing class years ago the professor gave us an exercise to write a paragraph about an unpleasant experience. Then he had us do the same thing only describing a pleasant experience. I would never have guessed how much harder it was to write a creative and colorful piece about something pleasant than it was about something unpleasant, but there was a remarkable difference in difficulty.

It is true that many of the most creative people tend to have experienced a lot of pain. Maybe if your creativity isn't as lurid as it once was, that means your pain is fading. Is that necessarily a bad thing?

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Your dilemma reminds me of a poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson who wrote,

"Sow a thought and you reap an action;
sow an act and you reap a habit;
sow a habit and you reap a character;
sow a character and you reap a destiny.”

It is hard to shed old ingrained habits but if you are persistent, you can thread new acts and habits. Hold tightly to God. Climb your ladder. If you trip, get back up. Keep your eyes up. Never look back. It'll just slow you down. Help those also on the ascent and they in turn will help you. The battle began the moment you turned back to God. Don't lose hope. Trust God always. See you at the top!

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Thank you for your excellent writing. It has encouraged me in my walk with Christ. I believe that God is using your talents to reach many people in our modern world. I will pray for your spiritual strength as God brings growth to the seeds you are planting through your writing. (1 Cor 3:7)

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Roosh, you are a good man. Conversion has left you in the worldly dessert, with no flesh to consume, only left with a holy loneliness. But that is good. Journey out of the dessert and make friends because I know you would be a good friend. Peace , my brother in Christ.

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I'm a writer myself. Writing flows easily when you have a mission, something you're excited to write about, something you really believe in. I see vast opportunity for educational materials in the new space you've entered.

I disagree that righteous behavior and financial prosperity are at odds.

I make a very good living doing cool, interesting humanitarian public service nonprofit work that's directly in the service of humanity and God's will. There's a hefty bit of writing in my work, and it generally flows very easily because I'm speaking directly to people I want to educate and help. I have my best breakthroughs when I'm able to take complex information and distill it down to the essence, something crystal clear that illuminates ideas previously shrouded in mystery. Most of my friends do similar work and make good money, working for or running their own ethical businesses and nonprofits.

Most of us worked our way up from humble beginnings, with good old-fashioned hard work. All of us are generous givers. We don't think twice about treating our friends and family, helping financially where we can. I believe that my money came to me by the grace of God and I'm a steward of it. The better steward you are, the more you're entrusted with to manage for the greater good. One of my big dreams for the future is to be outrageously generous. That motivates me to work even harder.

There's plenty of Bible scripture depicting prosperity and generosity as good things:

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written,

“He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor;
his righteousness endures forever.”

He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.

But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God.

A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

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I have greatly underestimated how much those three rewards fueled my writing, because now that they have been removed.

Are your writings, which have been based on these rewards, not your past life?
Who are you now - and how does God use you as a vessel for His message? That seems to be the block?

Perhaps your writing needs to be fueled by inspiration now instead of rewards - His inspiration (scripture, nature, music, testimonies, etc.).
Do you ever find religious programming on the radio inspiring, or being in nature having a silent conversation with Him? The intrinsic value of nature is beautiful and filled with such inspiration of His work - allowing a clear mind.

God gave me the talent to write.

And He also gave you the talent to speak.
Your readers/viewers enjoy hearing your podcasts - can you transcribe or listen to certain Roosh Hours as a pre-writing exercise?

Your other talent allows you to identify the deceptive and cloaked evil in this world. Presenting this information to others allows you to relate to your past experiences that has brought you knowledge, but perhaps now would be the time to take this further with finding solutions through His word/scripture - to continue your testimony and sharing His message.

1 Corinthians 2:13
which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.

American Pilgrim was only the introduction to your testimony, no?
Can only speak for myself, but am sure there are others along for this world's journey who can attest you have been an inspiration, Roosh.

God Bless you Roosh.

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It's the mid-1950's and this fellow named Johnny Cash walks into Sun Records in Nashville, Tennessee fresh out of the U.S. Army with a whole pile of "Gospel Music" and a reel-to reel tape of recording of his work. Sam Davis, the owner of the joint listened for a couple of minutes, looked at Cash with disdain and said, "I can't sell this stuff. Go out and sin for awhile and then bring me back something I can sell."

Two paths, one narrow gate.

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Never found writing especially hard, then again I was able to indulge in the escapism of whatever I was writing about; stories of military valor for both page & screen. As for coffee, still drink 2 pots a day - leaded.
Stay strong Roosh - I’m with you. Now in Matthew 17 of The Bible. Having finished The Old Testamen, it’s pretty frightening the parallels between Israel then & the U.S. now.

All of this - the current sh**storm in this country is because we are in - & have been - in rebellion against God.


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You're wrong! Look at Joel Osteen. He has a huge "Christian" church and is very rich. :)

That’s the work of Satan, not God. God will allow it for a time, but He will not be patient forever.

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Unless I have an idea that is approved by God, that will serve His plan for the salvation of my soul and those who read me, from where will I get the motivation? How will the river of words be transmitted from my mind to the screen? I know I will never earn as much money as I did in the past or reach the height of internet fame that peaked around 2016, so it’s for God alone I must do this. May He be pleased with all that I will write and share with the world.

The beautiful thing about living for God, to please Him and to avoid sin lest it offend Him is that it gives you much more direction in life than the temporal life ever could. Whereas in trying to satisfy temporal pleasures, there is constant wracking of the brain on how to strategize to gain more money, sex, status.. It's much more straightforward when you live for God, and it's much more blissful. I can't imagine what it must be like to return to Him in Heaven, it is indescribable happiness.

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