When I lived without God, I seemed to experience a weekly crisis or drama that would make me doubt if I was living in the right away. I would try to improve my life program but then a new crop of problems would arise. Today, as I aim to live according to God’s will, life is hard but smooth, without the upsetting tensions, doubts, or anxieties of the past. It turns out that the more I serve God, the less I need Him to bail me out of problems or worries that are the result of my own doing.
If you pursue women for fornication, your anxieties will be endless. Are you attractive enough? Is your style fashionable? Do your biceps look big? Is the Tinder algorithm only showing you ugly women? Do you know what to say to an attractive woman? Did you build enough chemistry for her to desire seeing you again? Why is it taking so long for her to text back? Why did she disappear after sex? Did your body not satisfy her in bed? What is the itchy rash around your groin?
When you pursue sin, and that sin could be fornication, greed, or pride in the form of status, your life will become more about mitigating the problems that come from those pursuits than experiencing any sort of happiness you envisioned from the initial fantasy of being sexually successful, rich, or high status. If you think about how many books and online resources exist that teach men how to pickup girls (I wrote many), it’s clear that a goal of fornication is anything but “natural” if it’s defined as something that is inborn to our spirit and doesn’t require hundreds or thousands of failed attempts to get right. The same goes with money: many people are spending their entire lives mastering the art of getting dollar bills to reproduce, but they remain far from reproducing themselves.
To a person without faith, my current life is boring. There is no excitement. I wake up, pray, read, and sit in front of the computer for my daily toil. I eat two meals a day, make a few political tweets, watch some basic entertainment at night, and then go to bed, yet I don’t have any problems that stem from this life. I may seem alone to you, but with God in my life, I’m less alone than even when I was with a sexually exciting woman. I may seem to receive no pleasure, but watching a cardinal bathe in a stream on a warm day gives me more joy than when I attended a packed nightclub while under the influence of lust and alcohol. My senses are not titillated, and while it’s possible I eat too many sweets, I train myself not to seek things of this world to give me pleasure. God will not let me suffer needlessly, and as long as I’m patient, He will give me harmless pleasures that exceed those I sought from my own will.
The biggest crisis I’ve experienced in the past year is signing a rental lease for a house that was previously used as a crack house. I had to leave because it was not properly decontaminated, but even that experience had fruits, for I gained enough information to know exactly what type of rural home I want to live in. Though I have nothing the world would covet, and I’m not exactly swimming in material wealth while living in my mother’s apartment, I don’t suffer from problems that come from my own doing because I now make decisions that are based on my desire to serve God instead of my own passions and lusts. Most of the problems I do face are external to me, coming from other people or powers, or from the limitations of my own flesh, but not through my own secular choices. Life is hard enough on its own when you walk with Christ, so imagine how much more difficult you make things when you decide to walk by your own feeble and stupid will.
If you’re down and feel that nothing seems to go your way, or you feel that things are grossly “unfair” in spite of having food, shelter, and relatively good health, it’s because you are making decisions that are disconnected from God. We will always be faced with difficulties, tribulations, and illnesses, but if you embark on a certain goal and feel stymied every step of the way, and you have not sought the blessing of God for that endeavor, you may have received the blessing of Satan instead.
My will was so strong and my desire for sex so high that I fought to overcome innumerable obstacles to achieving a career of fornication, but it all came to an ignoble end anyway. We’ll see what God has in store for me from this point on, but at least now I know that any obstacle I face on my walk with Christ is righteous and worth overcoming, instead of being a method of my own destruction like it was before.
Read Next: 8 Personal Defects That Allowed Me To Worship Fornication For 18 Years
Yes, Roosh, Tinder was probably only showing you the ugly women. Great article, in all seriousness.
Excellent article. As a Musllm, I actually bought several of your books and pursued that lifestyle till I also got closer to my faith, got married, and had children.
‘The same goes with money: many people are spending their entire lives mastering the art of getting dollar bills to reproduce, but they remain far from reproducing themselves.’
I take it that’s a Barren Metal reference?
EMJ’s books should be required reading for every man. Those books would be forbidden in public schools.
TBH, another reason why anxiety results is because modern societies care more about the recreational aspect of sex than the procreational aspect of it. People are spending more money on just random recreational sex and avoiding procreational sex (which usually is done in marriages).
So nature will definitely “punish” it. Anxiety, depression, STDs, broken families, etc.
there should be no “recreational” aspect to sex. it is procreative and unitive. that’s it.
Good points and it is so encouraging to see how God is changing peopleâ€™s lives!
I see a lot of men searching for the ideal woman. They want certain characteristics and get discouraged trying to find â€œherâ€. I see the same problem with women searching for good men. Continue to pray and give the petition to God, asking Him to bring you the right person. When she comes, she will not be perfect, nor is it your job to change her into the woman you want. She will be a work in progress, just as we all are, so you will learn the true meaning of agape love.
My (strong) husband and I got married pretty young and went through a lot of refining. The key is this: Is the person teachable? Do they have the ability to say theyâ€™re sorry when theyâ€™re wrong? If so, then that is someone who God can work through and perfect.
As for women in our secular culture, etc. (I read the previous post, too.)â€”there have always been strong women and weak men. Itâ€™s not a secular thingâ€”itâ€™s just a personality trait. I see that from my own grandparents (all born in the early 1900â€™s). I had one very strong grandmother who was the oldest of 9, and one very passive grandmother who was the youngest of 3. Seeing them interact with their own siblings explained a lot to me. Both my passive grandma and my passive mother have suffered greatly under their (narcissistic) husbands, so I donâ€™t see that as a desirable trait. God created woman to be a partner, not a doormat.
Well said. This often something that seasoned married individuals know to be true. A marriage may be likened to the working relationship between a lieutenant and his enlisted team that he manages. More often than not, the lieutenant is a little 20-something fresh out of college, while the enlisted folks that they lead have 3x the experience and technical skills than the lieutenant does. While this situation could easily be reversed, the lieutenant is still their leader no matter what, and both parties learn to function as a unit in their roles.
Often times, the husband may not be the smartest, the strongest, or the most â€œspiritualâ€ in the family â€” but he is still the head. His wifeâ€™s job is to learn how to communicate her expertise to him with respect (should she have any in a particular area), humbly advise him, and faithfully support him as their leader.
It takes great maturity and wisdom on both of their parts to function as a unit in this way, hence why it seems that only seasoned married individuals know this is how a true marriage functions.
It depends on how people define “strong woman.” Nowadays a “strong woman” is one who dominates the board room or is a hard-charging lawyer, which really isn’t “strong” but rather imitating men. For all of human history before that a strong woman would have been one who holds together the family and perserveres through hardship.
@Buster If the Pope told you that playing the recorder with one nostril while riding a unicycle was what it meant to be a man or woman, I’m sure you’d believe it. The fact that you conflate job occupations with character traits suggests you probably also believe that your identity is defined by the status of your employer. A strong man or woman is one that isn’t easily deterred by challenges, whatever they may be, wherever they come from.
Femininity is like Water. It yields yet is able to wear away the strongest rock.
Power isn’t all about just clashing head on as in your example. That is fundamentally masculine.
Buster: “For all of human history before that a strong woman would have been one who (…) perseveres through hardship”
A Christian: [You’re wrong Papist] “A strong man or woman is one that isnâ€™t easily deterred by challenges, whatever they may be, wherever they come from.”
So where do you disagree?
Conflates what? Buster clearly wrote the modern definition of a strong, white woman, as imposed on the sheep by the media control complex, educational system, and government propaganda, is that of a working female who forgoes having a family and prioritizes a “career” to achieve “equality” with men. If every one woman did that, humanity would no longer exist.
The careers men hold are to provide for the family in the first place, it’s all about their families which they lead, not their occupations in themselves, you try to do what you love the best you can to provide for yourself and your family. Even when Caesar, as the leader of a nation, went to war he was doing it for Rome as much as for himself. Why do that if there is no Rome? To have a family, you need an occupation, but a “strong” woman, as promoted on TV, has a “career” so she can afford to lead a sterile, unfulfilling life. Because she needs a “career”, she can’t and shouldn’t have a family. Another inversion which was pointed out years and years ago.
Every “A Christian” concurs (at least all those with hooked noses do), the Pope controls Catholics as if with a TV remote (no different than how Lenin controlled the Russians), they would never do what they thought was in their interest, they would cut off their junk if told to do so without questioning. This is obvious.
The pope has no control over catholics. How many catholics use birth control and abortions? Quite a number. Yet these are things the pope is against.
Strong women are Men. That’s the modern implication. Strength is Masculine.
Yet Femininity is seen as weakness. Yet in the right context it is the greatest power of women. And is made to work in conjunction with Masculine Men.
Even Masculinity requires Femininity to function. It recovers it’s strength from the Feminine and is charged by it.
My neighbor is a 5″5, 19 year old, white gamer girl who’s now venturing into the world of amateur online porn out of her own will. She keeps telling that she’s a “strong” woman simply because she made interracial anal porn with big black dudes, can drink like a fish and she pays her own bills. It’s kinda funny and sad at the same time how perverted the meaning of “strong” is to women these days, especially the younger ones.
You don’t need anyone to say sorry, it’s up to you to forgive them. You’re a feminist in deguise, talking about training your husband, portraying men as narcissists, and conjuring the idea of being a ‘partner’ when woman must serve man.
@David Unfortunately, I don’t have any suggestions for good dating apps, but I what I can suggest is that as long as you don’t make that implication in your bio, you should at least be able to get a response.
Why should anyone not have a right to choose a Righteous Lord or King as their ruler who isn’t a tyrant?
Why didn’t their fathers participate in finding Good Just Men?
As for abuse. You have to define what you mean by that so that it can be dealt with.
As for women not being doormats. That goes for any Master Servant Relationships.
Why should any Woman or Man submit to a tyrannical Lord if they can find someone better to lead them?
Again it goes to show selecting a potentially Good Leader who treats those below him in status well is very important.
If he treats subordinates poorly he will treat you poorly.
Many people want us to believe that men are being too picky by searching for a woman who is relatively feminine, thin, agreeable, and hasn’t blown 20+ guys from Tinder.
But this is absolute nonsense. These have been basic characteristics of womanhood for most of human history, and are still fairly easy to find in more conservative countries.
Unfortunately, most Western women are not even close to this reasonable minimum standard. Some, God bless them, are willing to try, but many are content to simply lie to us and themselves by trying to convince us that black is white and water is dry.
The big difference between the type of men who followed Roosh’s secular lifestyle and the women who follow mainstream popular culture is that the former was still oriented towards some masculine values, like strength, self-sufficiency, competence, and courage.
They were doing these things for all the wrong reasons, of course, but they were doing them nonetheless.
On the other hand, modern women have completely rejected almost everything related to traditional femininity. Many of them see the very idea of being feminine and submissive as ugly or insulting.
They not only cut off (and dye) their hair, cover themselves in tattoos, dress poorly, and behave crassly, many of them do these things specifically to be less feminine.
It’s tragic, and I don’t hold them entirely responsible for buying into the lie, which they’ve been since childhood.
But to deny these facts is simply perpetuating the lie.
This hits home quite a bit. Before coming back to Christ, no matter what I did, whether it was drowning myself in pleasure and distraction, or engaging in improvement regimens, self-help and therapy, upgrading my conversation skills as well as interactions with women, or even winning art competitions, there always remained something “off.” A discomfort in my own skin and constant low-level anxiety that permeated my being at all times. To crib a cliche’d quote, “a splinter in the back of my mind” that never came out until I came back to Christ.
There are times where the cares of the world overwhelm me, or for whatever reason I get off track with daily prayers and scripture study, and it’s disturbingly noticeable. I start to go into a kind of “withdrawal” so to speak, in terms of a return to anxiety and restlessness. I also notice a precipitous rise in other negative attributes, so as a shortening of patience, a quicker temper, and an overall greater self-absorbedness. Eventually it becomes insufferable and I must run back into the arms of Christ through prayer and scripture for the sake of my sanity and well-being. I have read many books, both shallow and philosophical in the past, and was never made to feel this way by words before in my entire life. I even engaged with a false religion for a good chunk of my life, but never attained the peace and satisfaction of the One True Religion. Only the True Bread and Water of Life can restore me; can heal my flesh and nourish my bones.
Wow. Yes. I have this experience too, when I less time in prayer and scripture the engulfs me with a vengeance.
How come you never considered CHRISTIAN dating sites.
ChristianSingles and on an on.
In other words picking only from
Strict Christian women.
That was not at all his agenda at the time.
I think the anxiety that comes with a secular, atheistic lifestyle is a result of believing that there is no real finality or purpose in the universe besides death and nothingness. People try to soothe the resulting existential dread with pleasure-seeking via drugs, drunkenness, porn, fornication, consumerism, etc.
The problem of existential dread is solved with Christianity, i.e. Catholicism and Orthodoxy. I don’t doubt some people have found success with the Evangelical varieties, but it seems like it would be extremely difficult by substituting modern worship band performances for the deep contemplative and scholastic traditions of the ancient varieties.
The final step in your spiritual journey really needs to be disconnecting from all the political crap. It’s turning you into a paranoid nutbar. Really, just stop reading anything political for a period of time and try to focus only on the spiritual. See what comes of it. I’m confident it will affect your and mental health positively and put a lot things in perspective.
I would bring â€žGameâ€œ back because many young people have such high testosteron that faith isnt an option at all, power to them. And your blue experience book I also would like to read because showing both sides can be helpful and only pussys go the half way. You wont go to hell for that, I think.
Game is something that ALL men should learn, regardless of religion or lack thereof.
Game is simply a state of attracting women and getting them to like you and be into you (because AWALT, regardless of what they say and do, believe, etc.). It is an inherently neutral state, neither good nor bad, because it relies solely on your own intentions and desires.
What you choose to DO with game is an entirely different matter. Just because you game a woman doesn’t mean you HAVE to sleep with her (and doesn’t automatically make her a bad woman either. It’s their nature). If your game is strong enough and your faith deep enough, you can get her to wait until marriage and then have sexual relations with her.
Roosh thinks game is evil because the only thing he’s ever done with it is use it to fornicate with women. If he wanted to, he could’ve easily used game to find and wife up a very attractive and high-value religious woman. Instead, he used game for one-night stands and hookups. Now, he feels bad about it (as he should according to his religious convictions), but instead of now teaching how to properly apply game within Christian parameters and teachings, he has now gone the way of the beta – completely disavowing game and how to properly attract women in a masculine fashion – and now advocates men to pray and solely focus on religion in hopes that God will magically miracle a spouse in front of them.
This will only serve to backfire on his readers, as the guys who learn and practice game will end up banging (or marrying) most Christian women, and the ones who don’t will remain celibate or end up stuck with the aformentioned roasties and single mothers.
It’s alpha do or die. Women want ambittious and dominant men who go after what and who they want in life, not men who sit around and hope God magically grants them their wishes.
Women want men. Not pansies who use religion as a justification for it.
How is it possible that the one who was leading the wave of game – wrote one of the best complete guide books of game – called Game — turned into a religious beta overnight and now thinks that seeking for miracles is the answer.
It is a fact that the far majority of women and even religious women are turned off by celibate religious young men.
Rooshâ€˜s not a â€žBetaâ€œ shit just hurts. Well the majority of women who cares and if both sides are religious there should exist no problem at all.
But I think itâ€˜s funny since Americans like to make sweet love Roosh was the best writer wasnâ€˜t he this crazy
Being religious is a huge trial and mot easy. Being a Muslim revert of 2 years and seeing more clearly the injustices of the world and how secular people behave. It is very difficult to be virtuous with those who arenâ€™t like that.
So itâ€™s very important to spot the manipulations attempted on you so you can guard yourself and establish boundaries.
I would say if you had to learn game. It would be for that reason alone as it teaches you crucial lessons that you otherwise cannot afford to learn the hard way.
The problem with a lot of these strategies is failing them or abusing them by having low morals. If you do this you need to stay true to your own values, be realistic and use your specific personal advantages, not be a bad copy of someone else. It won’t work because it worked for that guy, sorry.
I like to say funny things, it makes people laugh. I like to make stuff and earn money, it’s natural for me. It feels good by itself. I don’t like using women for sex or misleading them. So my personal growth feels pretty well aligned with what most slut and chaste women want in a man. I never felt the urge to sell my soul to be attractive to women, but being attractive by doing stuff I like was an incentive to do it more/better. Which is what sexual reproduction is, it’s sexes becoming more competitive and producer higher quality offspring as a result.
Western (and to be more specific, American and Anglospheric) societies create only sexually liberated women who compete with men, and then these societies gets anxious as to why marriage rates are falling (when marriage itself is a structured institution). They first teach women to step across the line of basic morality and purity, yet expect somehow that a marriage structure with these women will somehow survive. So they then have to import refugees and men from other countries to build families with their sexually liberated women.
When the existing men in the societies are themselves taught to be forgiving cucks to their sexually liberated wives or partners. It’s like a head stuck up its own ass.
And it’s no wonder anxiety is common, because it’s against the natural structure and law.
Castaneda is your only asnwer