When I was learning how to surf in Uruguay, I met a lot of surfers and they told me that it takes many years to get good, implying that I will suck for quite some time. I didn’t mind because the process of learning how to surf is very fun. I could always stay a beginner and I’d be fine with that, but I’m no longer enjoying the “process” of traveling through South America. As bad as I want to go to Sao Paulo, Salvador, Jericoacoara, and on to Venezuela to Merida, and to Colombia, especially Cartegena and Cali, I simply have no motivation or desire to continue.
At first I thought I was physically beaten. My body has been through a lot, but I’ve been visiting gyms since Argentina and go often here in Rio. Besides my stomach, which is better than two months ago, I’m in the best shape of my life. I think I’m just mentally beaten, homesick and in need of a stable, productive routine. I want to hit the pause button and process the past six months of my life.
Here’s what’s going to happen: I’m going to come home and for one month it’s going to be great. I’m going to see my family, hang out with my friends, catch up with my favorite music, go to the bookstore and read once again, relax in coffee shops that don’t mind me sitting around for three hours, and get back to 100% health. Then reality of the boring, stiff, and beachless DC scene will hit and I will ask myself why the fuck did I come back, especially since I love Rio. Even though I know that is what’s going to happen, I still want to come back, and that is how I know I’m ready to come back. I’m disappointed I failed to fulfill my random dream of visiting every country in South American in one go, but I’m not losing sleep over it.
So the adventure ends. I’ll be home soon.