Why Can’t I Use A Smiley Face? Stories From One Month In America

Today I’m releasing my new mini-book, Why Can’t I Leave A Smiley Face? It’s a 52-page memoir about the month-long visit to America in October 2012. Here’s the description:

How many sexual partners is too many?
What happens when you’ve lived away from your birth country for too long?
Why do moms give bad advice to their sons?
Why do Americans talk so much?
Should a one-night stand have romance?
Can a man ever be more interesting than a woman’s smartphone?
Are you your father’s son?
How much money is enough?
Which country is best for men?
Can a city decrease a man’s sex drive?
Why is it that using a smiley face is needy in one country but not in another?

These are the questions that come up in Why Can’t I Use A Smiley Face?, a short memoir about one man’s brief return to America after living in Europe for nearly two years. Stories range from trying to bang girls in Washington DC to getting caught up in a web of lies.

Living abroad can bring great experiences, relationships, and happiness, but it may cost you friends, family, and even your own identity.

The book costs $3. If you purchase the Kindle or ebook edition (pdf, mobi, and epub package) before Sunday at midnight, you get a discount of one whole dollar. The price will increase to $4 after that.

Click one of the following links to continue:

This book is a mini-sequel to A Dead Bat In Paraguay, the memoir I released four years ago after quitting my job and living outside of America for the first time. I recommend you read it first before Smiley Face to better appreciate the stories. While reading Dead Bat is not required, you should at least be familiar with my background to put Smiley Face in context. This weekend I’m offering a combo deal where you can get all three of my memoirs for $8. The download package contains pdf, mobi, and epub formats of each book, for a total of 433 pages…

Click here to order the Memoir Combo.

I started writing my first book, Bang, back in 2006. In the past seven years, I’ve written 15 books that contain 1,484 pages and 537,867 words. I’ve also produced a Bang audiobook with the help of a voice actor. In this combo, get all 15 books and the Bang audiobook in mp3 format for only $35:

Click here to order the My Life’s Work Combo (256 megabyte download).

Smiley Face is on the short side (it will take you about 90 minutes to read), but it’s a story I wanted to tell. I hope you enjoy it.

Related Posts For You

newest oldest most voted
anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

you should seriously make a post to help us girl know where we stand in the 1-10 scale.

[Roosh: If you have to ask, you’re a 6 or lower.]

Gavin Madden
Guest
please give me attention
Guest
please give me attention
Offline

I am not a 6 or lower, I just don’t know if I am 7,8 or 9.

How to distinguish between 7 8 and 9?

please give me attention
Guest
please give me attention
Offline

I can tell you some things from the background, the thing is that I always thought I was a 7, I look at me and I think I am a 7, but because of the amount of compliments people give me and the amount of attention and stares I get, and guys ”turning heads” because of me, I think I might be an 8 or 9?

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
Offline

I can’t imagine WHY I can’t use a smiley face! smile

Theodora
Guest
Theodora
Offline

Oh and I meant smile

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

4 please give me attention,

the truth is, guys, especially in America, overrated a lot of women, including fatties. Women who are 4’s are rated 6 or 7. Ask Roosh, he knows that better than anyone here.

Hint: be as sexy and as charming as you can, and you’ll hit the 10 roof. A sexy girl with average face is MUCH better than a stiff and bitchy doll-face Barbie.

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

to 7: I am in Brazil, not USA.
And I know that what happens to me doesn’t happen to most girls here, so I think I must be probably prettier than them.
And also I am in a part of brazil that is known for having the prettiest girls (south brazil, next to argentina) so guys don’t overrate girls here, they have plenty of choices.

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

”Women who are 4′s are rated 6 or 7.”

actually, women who are 4 or 3 are rated 8. I have seen it myself: good looking guys behind some ugly fatsos. (pukes…)….on the other hand, I saw quite a few really average looking guys with 9’s.

PS. No woman will ever be a 10, there’s always a better looking one.

Nick
Guest
Nick
Offline

What are all of these females doing on your blog?

Anyways, just purchased your book. Look forward to reading it after the weekend. Keep up the great work.

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

8 anonymous,

ok if you are from Brazil, that’s different. I thought you were from USA or where i am, UK. Well if you get the guys attention there, they probably find you sexy. Good. I think you are probably a 7, if you have an attractive face and fit body. But a lot depends also from your charm, and that will add or subtract. That’s my opinion, but Mr. Roosh is the guy who always knows more than anyone here.

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

I looked up some posts like these

http://www.rooshv.com/25-reasons-you-should-visit-ukraine

http://www.rooshv.com/20-reasons-why-i-dont-want-to-live-in-america-anymore

I am prettier than 19 of the girls in the first post and at same level with the others.
In the second post I am sure prettier than 17 of the girl in the list and a bit prettier than other 3 girls.

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

of the girls* not of the girl, I wrote it wrong.

Mr. Rubirosa
Guest
Mr. Rubirosa
Offline

Mr Roosh is an intelligent guy but to write he knows more than anyone here its a bit too much…he spent 2 years in Europe, he understood quickly that polish women are probably the best in east Europe but im 40 years old italian man who knows foreigner girls since they came to my country for vacation when i was teenager around 25 years ago (i live in north east of Italy near seaside). Til end of ’80 girls from north of Europe (danish, swedish, german etc) came here in summer and it was easy to bang them…then in ’90 girls from Poland, Hungary and Czechoslovakia came by old buses in the area where i live and again it was a fantastic time of my life. My english is not so good but u can be sure that for european women being fluent in this language is not the most important thing…at first its the look, then capability to be funny and to create the perfect atmosphere wink
I see Rooth say american girls are the worst but in my humble opinion is not so true…in Europe there are a lot of countries where u can find worse women than in America wink

thecaptainpower
Guest

Good job Roosh!! You are building up an impressive set of assets! Can you imagine if by age 40 you have a set of 50 “bang” guides for sale? Keep gng….

Nagual_4
Guest
Nagual_4
Offline

If you are prettier than most of these girls, then you are probably at least an 8,5. You judge yourself as a 7 probably because you are a perfectionst.

some gal
Guest
some gal
Offline

I get that the manosphere wants to be chick-free, so I won’t post again. Would you ever make public pictures sent to you? Not that I would EVER send nude. I want an honest visual assessment from someone with standards and experience and without a personal affection for me. Gently-delivered, but true. Having people find out I sent a pic would mortify me. …Can you really trust a man who lies all the time to get women to bed, though? What about bikini, no face. I know I am asking to get something while giving nothing, but I like your blog- though don’t agree with all of it, as should be expected- and so it is plausible that I would buy a book some day.

[Roosh: I won’t share pics evil ]

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

I won’t send a pic, I don’t know if you will post it here someday so I don’t have any guarantee.

Nagual_4
I think I am probably an 8 then, I am very perfactioninst actually I see that when people rate someone, I always rate them lower than what people rate them. And I’ve been told I look like a movie star several times so I must be an 8, at least.
thanks.

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

ps. me and “same gal” are not the same person…

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

“some gal”*

nagual_4
Guest
nagual_4
Offline

roosh: didn’t you say that you won’t rate girls if they ask?

anonymous: people tell you that you look like a movie star? then you are a 9, not an 8.

nomad
Guest
nomad
Offline

#20-21 is double messaging, in order to correct her spelling, she is definitely not American.

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

Mr. Rubirosa, yes I’d bet Roosh knows more than anyone here. He didn’t just ‘spend 2 years’ in Europe in an half assed way. The guy is a machine, he worked on nothing but women for years. It’s hard to explain how much I learned from him, on multiple levels. You’ll see if you read all his books, as I did. I am not overrating the guy or kissing anyone’s ass, and I learn stuff from anyone, but if I had to learn about women from someone, he’d be guy I’d ask. He’s not perfect (who is?) but I like the way he looks at things. You speak about 25 years ago in Italy. 25 years ago in Italy was a different planet, completely different than the USA now or then. Also making stuff happen when you are NOT in your country, is WAY harder. Anyone knows that, from football teams to world-class chess players.

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

nagual_4
I think I am a 9 facially, but since I am not tall, I subtract a point.
I would say that my face is a 9, but as I am short, my overall ends up being around an 8.

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

got the book

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

19 anonymous

”I won’t send a pic, I don’t know if you will post it here someday so I don’t have any guarantee.”

then you understood nothing about Roosh. Your loss…you were to be rated by someone who had intimate interactions with tons of women. You don’t understand what an opportunity that has been. But now…you will have to push your doubts in the back of your mind, only to resurface randomly.
Because….the way you see yourself is not the way a man sees you. Sorry.

Or maybe you are just scared that Roosh will realistically rate you lower.

The only, and I repeat, ONLY way is to send him a photo. Remember, truth always trumps illusion.

Ahr ahr ahr…. (evil laugh fading in the distance)

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

PS. just kidding

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

I mean, kidding only about evil laugh. All the rest accurate. You can trust El Roosh

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

Illusion of what?

I walk around and I need to listen to random guys that I don’t even know trying to approach me and I feel scared I am going to be raped by them sometimes. Cars honk at me while I am walking.

I am just there in my own and men who are driving keep turning their heads to see me and I am like “wtf?” because I think I am only a 7.
Do men turn their heads to look at 7s?
So I don’t know if I am 7 or 8 or 9…

that’s plain it, I am going to assume MEN see me as an 8, otherwise I wouldn’t get the many attention I get, and I know that most of the other girls don’t get the same attention I get.
I see myself as a 7, even though I know I am prettier than most of the girls Roosh post here as “hot” on his posts about Ukraine and East Europe.

Peter Phoenix
Guest
Peter Phoenix
Offline

Bought it! I’ve always been a reader and will continue to support your work.

A Random Man
Guest
A Random Man
Offline

I’m so glad the trollz from Toronto stopped stinking up the joint with their negative comments, there’s nothing worse than haters spewing nonsense.

Looking forward to reading the latest book Roosh, keep up the superb work.

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

“please give me attention”
wtf? It wasn’t me who wrote that… lolololol

Mr. Rubirosa
Guest
Mr. Rubirosa
Offline

Madmax u didnt understand my point of view. I wrote that i started around 25 years ago to know girls when i was in my youth, and this it happened til now…my point is that Roosh is intelligent and i agree with the thought polish women are probably the best in Europe…he did great job writing books for american guys but do u think is possible to compare his 2 years of experiences here vs my 25? Hmmm…dont think so wink

I know polish girls since 1992 and i believe i know what im talking about…some thoughts: the best latin women NOW are french, not italian, not spanish…best east european for sure polish. And im not talking about beauty because russian girls probably are the best but when u start to think about character, personality its better u escape from Russia, Ucraina, Bielorussia and so on…
Polish women are the best in the way that u can think to create family with them while with russians u can have just pure sex….russians are very cold women even in bed comparing to polish.
And i can continue….
If Roosh want to have great challenge he has to come to my country, ITALY, and he will be very surprised how difficult is to bang women…im sure then he will think how good are american women wink

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

18 some gal

‘ so it is plausible that I would buy a book some day.’

Yeah that shit is womanese for ‘I am not going to buy anything’

If you’d say ‘I’ll buy it when I’ll have no teeth anymore’, I’d respect that more….lol…

Rakishness
Guest
Rakishness
Offline

@please give me attention

Post an average picture of yourself on an American dating site…if you don’t get 100 messages at the end of today….you are below a 6.

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

rakishness: I know I am 7+
I just don’t know if I am 7, 8 or 9.
I will discard the 9, because I am not tall, but I can assure that facially I am prettier than most of the girls Roosh post here.

GP
Guest
GP
Offline

Can the girls requesting validation please stop posting on here. I understand that this site is for the exchange of modern ideas, not “am I hot or not”. You are posting on the wrong forum.

Roosh, just downloaded your latest book and I’ve read the first 30 pages.
I travel with work, however I live in the UK. The coldness and mechanical qualities of the characters in your book really strikes a chord.
I remember spending last new year in a club in Liverpool and seeing 3 girls sat on a sofa taking group pictures of themselves all night and uploading them to facebook. “look at how much fun our lives are”. It seems that the younger girls are retreating into a fake, materialistic world, thinking that they can snap out of it when they are 30 and “choose” to have a loving relationship with a dream man.
When and how will it end, I wonder. Will there be a return to the old ways?

some gal
Guest
some gal
Offline

Roosh, thank you. I intend to send a picture after I get a chance to take one that reflects my average state- or edit the face out of an existing such picture.

POLAND IS NOT HEAVEN AT ALL
Guest
POLAND IS NOT HEAVEN AT ALL
Offline

anonymous, just send the pictures to this famous writer Roosh, he knows how to make girls happy wink

nagual_4
Guest
nagual_4
Offline

what does it have to do with poland is not heaven at all?

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

poland is not heaven at all
he was sarcastic when he said he won’t public the picture, and so were the other guys who are telling me to send a pic.

Revo Luzione\
Guest
Revo Luzione\
Offline

Fucking great post.

But the comment thread has been hijacked by some needy bish trying to get validated by players.

Good luck with that, with or without a pic.

As it stands: 6 or less, + needy attitude: 2/10 would not bang.

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

uaehauehuaheuhauhuahuehuh at revo luzione

Aaron
Guest
Aaron
Offline

Just bought your life’s work – amazing deal, everyone who wants to guarantee they will improve their sex life needs to make this investment in themselves, thanks again Roosh!

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

so I sent you the damn pics in two emails, rate now, if you make it public I kill you smile

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

30 anonymous,

don’t worry about the guys staring…I do it far worse (unfortunately). I stare at women I like, a lot, right in the eye. I’d desire her but I would not rape anyone….it’s not worth it and I wouldn’t be able to. But I am not everybody else.

Chances are, honking or staring doesn’t mean they’d rape you. They are just horny. But I would feel bad to tell you that you don’t need to watch out….as long as you don’t get into isolated places you’ll be fine…if you must walk a lonely road, talk on your phone or pretend to say some shit like ‘yeah I am walking such and such road, I am coming’.

Well you aren’t a little girl so my advice is probably ridiculous. Hope some good guy will make sweet love to you tonight…bye bye

madmax
Guest
madmax
Offline

I’ll really like this book, the ‘reverse introduction’ was excellent

anonymous
Guest
anonymous
Offline

I know they won’t rape me, this is a form of expression…

Poland is becoming as bad as USA
Guest
Poland is becoming as bad as USA
Offline

anonymous looking for attention. you can trust ROOSH. search for his videos on Romanian news TV. he is a great man