Stop Being Needy

“Apparently, he was not totally ignorant of one of life’s great secrets: women don’t look for handsome men, they look for men with beautiful women. Having an ugly mistress is therefore a fatal error.”
The Book Of Laughter & Forgetting by Milan Kundera

Not being needy is important because it shows girls you’re already getting what you, well, need. Girls want sex from men who are already getting sex. Despite every girl’s protest to the contrary, the more partners you’ve had the better, because each vagina you’ve demolished acts as a seal of approval of your worthiness. What better way for a girl to screen out new dick by finding out many other girls lined up to take a ride on it?

The reason I know this is fact and not mere conjecture is the large number of girls I’ve banged who knew about my blog beforehand. If you ask these girls a straight-forward question about sleeping with a guy who has had many partners, 100% would say they hate it, it’s gross, the AIDS, etc., but yet they have done it with me, and I’m certain I’m not the only “exception.” Even girls who have found out about my blog after having sex end up returning for seconds. In fact it’s a guarantee she’ll come back, even flying internationally to do so, because now she experiences a self-esteem boost knowing that she’s fucking a guy who is successful with women.

End conversations early. Cancel dates. Be late. Appear disinterested. Don’t lean in. Stop trying to kiss her all the time. Don’t tell her when you’ll contact her. Don’t say you’ve been in love. Don’t talk longingly about your exes. Don’t console her. Take days to call her back after first time sex. Don’t ask for her opinions. Be insensitive.

All these behaviors show you’re not needy, that you don’t give a fuck. They convey to the girl that you can get away with doing these things because you’re probably already banging and she better shape up if she wants her vagina to be demolished as well. There’s no shortcut to this: you can’t just tell a girl you’ve fucked a lot of girls and expect her to be turned on. Insinuate instead, and be rewarded handsomely.

When you’re in a foreign country and unable to communicate perfectly with words, or cultural differences make it hard to show value or humor, not being needy will be the cornerstone of your game.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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Yo
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Yo
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This is the golden rule. There is no doubt in my mind and the proof is all over my life. Every girl i’ve dumped, every girl i’ve blown off, every girl i’ve pumped and dumped, I can pretty much call and get a night out with.

Every girl I’ve fallen for, every girl I’ve told I liked, every girl I’ve showed overwhelming interest in..won’t give me the time of fucking day.

It is the greatest oxymoron in human nature. The desire to be loved and cherished and the lack of interest in a person who shows it to you.

I’ve come to the decision that humans really don’t cherish love and companionship. They cherish the chase and the activity of obtainment.

That’s why the infidelity rate in the world is sky high.

It’s a fucked up world out there.

JoeS
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JoeS
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Sooooo fucking true man! If you ever doubt this, try hitting on another chick in front a girl you’re currently working on. Watch how her whole behavior towards you changes instantly, in a good way. This is the quickest way to break through any sort of resistance on her part.

Mark
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The best is to find a girl who is not into such games. You might not get the quantity but you will get better quality. I think American girls are programmed to play games more because behind their confidence is nothing but a need for confirmation that they are important.
Foreign girls do not need this as much as love.

Mark’s last blog post: My interest in the French language.

Carl Sagan
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Carl Sagan
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golden rule indeed.

Drill this into your brain gentleman.

The G Manifesto
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Interesting post. A few thoughts:

As a huge advocate of swooping mass amounts of fly girls(http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2010/01/how-to-swoop-100-fly-girls-per-year.html ), I agree that swooping fly girls begets more fly girls.

But when you talk about how girls knew about your blog before you swooped them, I think you might be getting the benefit of being a “Micro-Celebrity” of sorts.

I have said it before, and I will say it again; The #1 Drug of last decade was Celebrity.

I agree with your points in bold for the most part.

“Don’t ask for her opinions.”

I understand the point you are trying to make, however, asking questions are great qualifiers and means of controlling conversation.

Especially when speaking in the “statement-statement-question” format.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Old-School G Move Week: Give Back to The People.

nathan
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I feel like this is the “crux” of the Roosh philosophy
kinda feel like if you remember this, the rest will “take care of itself”.

boston66
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boston66
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Roosh, this is why I bought your book. Good shit.
MPM nail on the head.

Steve Lurkel
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Steve Lurkel
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Preach, Roosh, preach!

Hardcore
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Hardcore
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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about asshole game (which I believe Roosh is advising above) and what I call “Bond game”. I’ve used both over the past few months with varying degrees of success. I know some women respond well to asshole game when done correctly. It can give you ‘hand’ at almost any stage of a relationship. But, it’s hard to be congruent if you’re a genuinely nice guy. I’ve seen guys attempt it when it’s really not their strong suit and women can see right through that. Bond game is probably better if you’re a ‘decent’ guy at heart. The trick with Bond game is leveraging your aloofnness and mystery while still acting/dressing more or less like a gentleman. You can still break dates, etc (“something came up. I can’t talk about it”) but you reframe it in a way that doesn’t brand you an insensitive asshole.

boston66
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Good quote. I think I’m gonna read this every time I go out.

Beebopaloo
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Very true on many levels, but I feel, on the other hand that if you want to get that MASSIVE success you’ll need to work on being very assertive, sexual and direct. In my opinion that is the easiest and quickest way to uncomplicated sex.

Typical BS
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Typical BS
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Great post.

Gio
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Gio
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I need to get my “micro-celebrity” game together.

The G Manifesto
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Gio,

Good article on Micro-Celebrity:

http://nymag.com/news/media/47958/

Same guy who mentioned me on “30 Best Blogs of 2009”

http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2010/01/the-g-manifesto-on-30-best-blogs-of-2009.html

So he must know what he is talking about.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Old-School G Move Week: Give Back to The People.

speakeasy
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“Very true on many levels, but I feel, on the other hand that if you want to get that MASSIVE success you’ll need to work on being very assertive, sexual and direct. In my opinion that is the easiest and quickest way to uncomplicated sex.”

I’ve noticed that this method works best for guys who for whatever reason are undesirable. By that I mean dudes that are short or ugly or whatever. They sometimes get a lot of ass because they are aggressive, sexual and direct and fire like a machine everywhere they go so they pull something just from sheer volume of approaches.

Virgle Kent
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I’m sorry but the best part about this post is the fact you put a “the” in

“The AIDS”

Generate
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Generate
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VK’s comment: LOL dawg.

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John
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Yes and no. What you need to do is act with appropriate self-respect, and the girl will be attracted to you. Cutting off a conversation when it is going nowhere or isnt interesting you, if done politely, isnt asshole behavior, its merely treating yourself with respect.

Its completely unecessary and in many cases counterproductive – believe me, many girls will NOT be attracted to merely asshole behavior that seems inappropriate and comes out of nowhere – to act like a jerk or be an asshole.

The problem is, most guys sacrifice their own legitimate rights and desires and fail to treat themselves with approrpiate respect, in an effort to get girls to LIKE them – cease doing this, and youre golden.

In todays highly sensitized liberal culture, simply standing up for yourself and failing to sacrifice yourself for others is often called *jerk* behavior, but there is an important distinction.

Acting like a jerk in an inappropriate way, or for no reason, will turn off lots of girls, believe it or not, despite what some Game people say. Of course, SOME girls, those with lose self-esteem, wont be affected by this, but you dont really want those girls anyways.

I always feel that those who counsel asshole game or the need to be a jerk are those who dont have an inner core of self-respect to draw upon, and who thus need to bring out the big guns and overreact to project any kind of strength at all.

Dont be a jerk just stand up for yourself.

URF
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URF
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“When you’re in a foreign country and unable to communicate perfectly with words, or cultural differences make it hard to show value or humor, not being needy will be the cornerstone of your game.”

You also learn to be extremely resourceful with non-verbal communication in general.

newly divorced
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This hasn’t always worked for me. On Monday I number closed a 10 (hot Eastern European model) that I had been working on right in front of my building. As I was getting the number, an 8 who lives in the building walked by- I’d been working on her for a while. I had been getting a lot of interest from her but since then she’s gone cold. Not the biggest loss in the world but it surprised me.

Beebopaloo
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“I’ve noticed that this method works best for guys who for whatever reason are undesirable. By that I mean dudes that are short or ugly or whatever. They sometimes get a lot of ass because they are aggressive, sexual and direct and fire like a machine everywhere they go so they pull something just from sheer volume of approaches.”

You think this doesn’t work if you have good looks? That the girl is going “wow, this guy’s got good looks, so I won’t give him a chance. I’d rather a stocky and bald guy would approach me in this sexual mannor”?
Nah, I think this works for everybody – the problem is most guys have got an ego to overcome to do this. And most people who have got a decent level of success never get out of their comfort zones and think that they are ‘above’ this.
From my experience, no matter how aloof you are, it is still your job to kiss the girl, and if I can save a bunch of bullshit by being direct that is what i prefer.

therealdeal
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therealdeal
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The moral of the story is to always be a bit less interested in her than she is in you. i.e. the principle of least interest.

that does not mean dont approach her at all or dont make advances, it means that she cannot get under your skin emotionally and that you are egotistically indifferent (see ModeOne:let the women know what you’re Really thinking).

it means that you are so detached from the outcome and that you wont chase her, either she accepts your terms of engagement or you leave her alone…do not under estimate the power of leaving a women alone…a lot of times, they change their minds and come back because the seed you have planted has sprouted!

Willy Wonka
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Yeah, this is definitely true.

Every girl I ever fucked in college always thought that I was fucking a lot of girls, I never told them that I was or told them that I wasn’t. I don’t know why they thought that, but I didn’t care, the fact is they thought that and wanted me more because of it.

Willy Wonka’s last blog post: New to the Game.

vb
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vb
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Words to live by.

Bob Smith
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I’ve noticed that this method works best for guys who for whatever reason are undesirable. By that I mean dudes that are short or ugly or whatever.

Riddle me this, speakeasy: why would an attractive woman tolerate “aloof”, “indifferent”, and/or “asshole” from a short or ugly guy? She has plenty of average height, average looking guys whose mysteries she’s rather solve instead.

The answer is why such men have no choice but to be outrageous if they want success with women.

As a short guy my experience is that women find absurd the entire idea of you as sexual. As this article notes, if a woman can’t imagine you with another woman she can’t imagine you with her. You might as well be a lamppost. Unfortunately, as a naturally reserved and aloof person, I find “outrageous” difficult to pull off in a way that piques interest rather than “person we’d prefer to neither see nor hear”.

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AWOMAN
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Have some respect for women!

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L
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L
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Re: The bolded, I agree with everything except the final four. Opportunities for those don’t occur until a bit of trust develops. Pulling any of those moves makes you unattractive to any confident girl who’s already filtered you to that point. Never play a game that filters out your ideal target.

-FPUA/HB

Anonymous
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As a woman who accidentally found your website, let me clarify for you that not all women are going to come eating out of your hand. If you treat a woman like dirt today, that’s what you are going to get….dirt. Women today have major degrees and lives of our own, we don’t really give a big squat about being beneath you anymore. Treat a woman with respect and love and that’s what you will get in return, because both men and women both deserve to be respected and loved.

benvad
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benvad
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Most will

madmax
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madmax
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excellent post. Respect and love doesn’t get you laid.

E
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E
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The problem with this advice is that the actions described likely work in a lot of situations, but not when they’re being faked. Yes, waiting a couple of days to call signals to a girl that you’re busy with other things and not super pressed for her. But it doesn’t work if you’re actually into her and have nothing else going on in your life so you’re sitting on your hands to keep yourself from calling her. You have to *actually being doing other things* and *actually not be super pressed for her.* I think too many guys are using game in this shallow exterior way, but they’re just playing at being confident by mimicking the behavior of a confident man. Eventually the girl is going to see through the act if you don’t have the reality to back it up.

Emmy
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Emmy
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THIS IS THE WORST ADVISE EVER! … Clearly you’ve been very hurt by someone in the past and now you’re putting up a defense mechanism to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.

It really sucks getting hurt, but you know what sucks even more? Never allowing yourself to be happy.

If you’re always trying so hard to be cool and show that you don’t care, then guess what? You’ll never be truly happy. When you’re in love, you don’t act cool, calm and collected… you’re just happy and you don’t care how goofy you look!

So my advise is this: Cut the bullshit! Games are fun for a little while but when they’re over you’re going to be left feeling EMPTY (even if you win the game).

If you want to be happy, then just be REAL.Life is too short for this crap… If a girl doesn’t appreciate you for being you, then she’s not the right girl.

Lel
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Lel
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^ emily seems to confuse ‘playing the game’ and being yourself. You can do both and be genuinely happy. Deal with it.

RebelAlliance
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This advice is good but definitely needs to be taken with a grain of salt. I think a lot of aloofness can be relayed without such explicit actions. It can be more subtle such as in the way you carry yourself, the way you look around and your attention wanders, the way you lead conversations while cutting dead-end threads, etc. Note that Roosh writes his advice assuming a ton of calibration that he’s accumulated over time. Beginners and intermediate players would be well advised to just be congruent with themselves but at the same time simulate non-neediness (no excessive calling/texting/chasing, etc). Also note that, with abundance, these traits automatically show up in your behavior.

Jack Torrance
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Thank you Roosh. This gave me the kick in the pants I needed. I used to be textbook asshole until I met a sweet girl who rewarded me more for affection and nice guy behavior than for asshole behavior. That is, until I obviously became too attached and lost my game so to speak. Radio silence and talking to other girls seems to help put the balance of power back in my hands but relationships are tough man.