The Brazilian Way To Carry Grocery Bags

In Brazil, grocery stores can be quite far from the favela. Because carrying plastic bags with your hands over long distances is painful, Brazilian people who don’t have cars have come up with two novel methods to carry groceries that transfer the load to their shoulders.

The Saddlebag Method

This is usually done with four bags. It leaves your hands mostly clear in case you need to carry additional items like toilet paper or a pack of Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers.

The T-Shirt Method

This method can only be done with two bags. You tie the ends of each bag together and put your head through the big hole as if you were putting on a t-shirt. I like this method when I want my hands to be completely free to text girls I met at the club.

I’ve never seen anyone carry grocery bags like this outside of Brazil, even in other South American countries like Argentina or Colombia. It’s a purely Brazilian innovation that I’ve been using for about two years. My hope with this post is to spread the idea throughout the world so I can see other people doing it while I’m doing it. I can only imagine the intense look that will be exchanged.

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Gmac
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Gmac
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Hahaha. This is for real isn’t it?

Riker
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Riker
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Nice place

zergbong
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zergbong
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Are you going mad ~

Tampa
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Tampa
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So that’s a picture of the place where all the banging goes down huh? Knocked the back out that young polish chick in that room? atta boy.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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A+ post

Hughman
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Hughman
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Oh Roosh, you do love to troll at times

Pete M
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Pete M
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WOW! Is there anything Roosh CAN’T do?!?!

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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hahaha you’re so funny 🙂

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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What’s that thing with the kitten on it?

Tuthmosis
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Tuthmosis
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Best. Post. Ever.

The Glee Manifesto
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The Glee Manifesto
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You should try the double saddle bag…where you hang 4 more off of your belt.

Shallow Hal
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Shallow Hal
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Might be a good way to pick up Brazilian girls in the US.

samseau
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samseau
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I like the saddlebag method

Luckystar
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Luckystar
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Very informative post, bro.

Is that your pad in Poland? Looks pretty good.

samseau
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samseau
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oh and grey looks much better on you

samseau
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samseau
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if you look at the blue shirt from the side, it almost makes you look like you’ve got a bit of a gut, but the grey from the side keeps you looking slim

dickbutt
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dickbutt
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is your sister hot

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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That last pic looks like they may make it half way home before all the blood to ones brain is totally chocked out and die.genius.

mae
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mae
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how are you going to choke on that? I’m more concerned that the plastic might break if the load’s a bit on the heavy side

neil skywalker
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This method kinda sucks because it covers up all the brazilian breasts i want to see. Im staying for 2 months in brazil soon. Hope i dont encounter this too much.

Juergen
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Juergen
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Wow. That is one ugly mother fucker. The room is microscopic. Girls don’t dig that. The bed is basically humping against the “kitchen.” Pathetic.

Don Draper
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Don Draper
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No need to shit on the pad. It has everything a true player needs to self actualize: bed, fridge, pussy, done.
Everything else is superfluous.

And by pussy I mean the kitten folder.

daniel
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daniel
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I am brazilian ( from Belo Horizonte ) and never seen that. Maybe it is only a Rio de Janeiro trait.

Btw very nice blog, keep up the good job Roosh.

Sid
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Sid
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Not a bad idea, but someone walking around like that would look aspergery outside of Rio.

Giovonny
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Giovonny
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I love the ingenuity of poor people. They come up with some brilliant shit sometimes.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Thanks for the tip. I especially liked how you tied it into Game…now you too can carry your groceries while texting girls you met at the club.

Ju
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Ju
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I’m from Porto Alegre and I’ve already seen people doing this. I do the saddlebag method sometimes. And, hum…your body is indeed very sexy. “Gostoso”, as we like to say around here.

dickbutt
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dickbutt
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“I love the ingenuity of poor people. They come up with some brilliant shit sometimes.”

no they don’t, that’s part of why they’re poor brah

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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@30
Exactly.

haircut
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haircut
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hey Roosh,

Why the big beard ? Why don’t you shave and grow your hair ?
just an idea, would make you look less like a lego doll.

get some scissors
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get some scissors
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what the hell kind of haircut is that?

fourblindmonkeys
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fourblindmonkeys
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Is there a good reason why both of your shirts are plain with no design or is it just coincidence?

shop m dude
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shop m dude
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this is hilarious. Roosh, is that a king size box of condoms on the night table? and a XL vibrator in the t-shirt bag?

Jake
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Jake
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You do a look a wee little bit retarded, with all that incongruous hair getup, Mr. B-Roosh-Vee. Ahhhh Mr. B-Roosh-Vee, ahh will fighta you with his cockah!

Cliff Arroyo
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Cliff Arroyo
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Polish learning tip #456: Prioritize! learn (in this order)

– noun case endings (esp nominative, accusative and genitive, after those the rest are easy)
– adjective case endings
– pronoun case endings

verb endings aren’t as important (or hard) just learn and use the present tense until you have a good understanding of the case endings (the backbone of the language) don’t worry about aspect until later.

don’t even try to decline numbers until you’re pretty advanced, even Polish people don’t do that very well, no one cares if you say piec all the time (instead of piecioma, pieciorga, pieciu etc)

just mentioning this since most Polish teacher who teach foreigners don’t really prioritize and have a tendency to overwhelm students with massive grammar dumps that simply induce frustration.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Demetri Martin look-a-like?

Marco
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Marco
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Dude, smile a little in the pictures. You know its an informative photo illustrating the carrying of the bags, you look like a serial killer… coming from the groceries lol

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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[email protected] this pumpkin pie hair cutted arab thinking he’s don juan! ahahahhaahaha look at his HAIR! ROFL!

Anon
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Anon
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Umm, no. Please don’t wear your bags like that. Get a backpack or something. You look like a douche with those bags on you, and that is sad because you were cute in your beach pic.

clothes
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clothes
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you need to buy new clothes. jeans and a solid plain t shirt? wow, you have great style. barf

Gentsworth
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Gentsworth
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Hehe, putting the “Bra” in Bra-zilian!
With plastic bags… Or something like that…

Rudy
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Rudy
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Roosh you’re my new dad Roosh even though you’re only 8 years older i’m getting numbers from 7’s and 8’s now following your advice. Everything you and Mystery say, it happens to a T. I’m getting girls in my own leauge, finally.

Larinha
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Larinha
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Im brazilian and lived here my entire life, and ive NEVER EVER seen such a thing!! Really!
Sometimes i check your blog too, but most what you say is non-sense for our culture here.
I always wondered if you were lying about ever coming to Brazil… My guess is that you are.

Té mais!

Anon
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Anon
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“Wow. That is one ugly mother fucker. The room is microscopic. Girls don’t dig that. The bed is basically humping against the “kitchen.” Pathetic.”

@23,

The room is small but it’s clean and has all the necessities. It’s a perfect pad for someone visiting a foreign country. And it’s bigger than a typical dorm room, in which millions of 18 year old girls are having sex right now.

I’m not much for cleaning or decorating, but I’ve brought home and fucked girls in dirtier, barely furnished pads that girls have described as caves. I’m sure I’ve scared off some gold diggers too.

Anon
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Anon
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@Larinha,

You know english and have internet… maybe you’re not the type of Brazilian who’s been to the favelas?

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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haha! you know I’m a girl! sorry, I have a boyfriend… thanks for your naked picture though 😉

Ubermind
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Ubermind
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Now you can know whether a girl you cold approach is wife material or not. If she doesn’t ridicule and is not creeped out from you for such a stange way of carrying bags, but respects and understands your innovation and finds it funny and smart than she has heart

trackback

[…] Roosh – “I Keep Getting Tricked by Polish Girls“, “How to Become a Shapeshifter“, “The Brazilian Way to Carry Grocery Bags” […]

zumah
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zumah
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WTF is up with people hating on Roosh’s pad?
That place is more than good enough to take a local girl back to.Just the fact he has his own studio and not a dorm room in some crappy hostel will elevate him in most girls eyes.And you can always tell them it is only a temp untill you find somewhere better.