The Dark Knight Is A Stupid Movie

In pains me deeply to write this because friends and family I trust and respect loved The Dark Knight, but after watching the movie I believe it’s because the hype machine sucked them in along with everyone else.

But Roosh, The Dark Knight has a whopping 95%Tomatometer. What could you possibly have noticed that even professional critics could not see?

I shall explain. Allow me to bring you fanboys back into the realm of reality and reason.

Minor Problems

1. When did Gotham City become bright and lovely New York City? A place that I could live and possibly raise a family, with modern skyscrapers at 100% occupancy and busy streets full of new cars and smartly dressed people.

2. Bruce can simultaneously defeat fifty men at a time armed to the teeth, but is thwarted by a nylon net, a two inch blade, and an ill-tempered dog.

3. Holy shit is the Joker organized! He embarrasses the mob, Batman, and the police at the same time, one step ahead of everyone, planting bombs pretty much everywhere every day and able to infiltrate the deepest rungs of power to kill and maim. He drives no. 2 pencils through the skulls of man. He can take punches from martial arts master Bruce Wayne and can even kick his ass. But he can’t aim a fucking bazooka!

4. Rachel’s (Maggie Gyllenhaal) death was stupid and confusing. Batman said he was going to save Rachel but ended up saving Harvey. That forces me to believe that the Joker switched the addresses up on purpose. But then we’re sort of kind urged to believe Rachel was a sacrifice and the police commissioner was in on it. No surprise this mess involved Maggie Gyllenhaal, a co-star in Donnie Darko, the most confusing film of all time.

5. When a movie has you rooting for the villain to win and kill the hero and his fake robot voice, it has failed. Especially when said villain’s life kept getting saved by our confused hero, even if it caused him great injury.

6. Deebo the prisoner has a heart of steel but the general public are murderous, stupid animals who should be stripped of their right to vote. You are the general public.

Major Problems

1. Rachel. A homely, unlikable, somewhat masculine spinster was able to string along two of Gotham’s most desirable bachelors? And I was supposed to be sad when she died? I was quite pleased! Both men could do better than the alpha bitch whose grating presence is a bad influence on young American girls. Playing the field leads to unhappiness for women, not marriage with a high-profile male.

2. Two-Face’s Transformation. Forced, absurd, and not believable. One moment he’s risking his life to save the city but the next he turns into a homicidal maniac because his bitchy girlfriend died? And it took a private one-on-one with the Joker, the man who killed her, to do it?! The relationship between Harvey and Rachel seemed like a stiff friendship, and it was impossible to jump to the conclusion that her death sent his mind to the fiery pits of hell. Plus with his brain basically exposed from the face fire he would surely get an infection and die within two days, yet he was fully functional and even able to speak without any impediment even though he looked like a mummy in The Mummy.

3. No resolution. In any good story something has to change. The hero has to transform and realize something or the end has to be different than the beginning. This is why Batman Begins is a good movie. But in The Dark Knight the only change occurred in Two Face, a secondary character, and it was dumb dumb dumb. Batman regressed into a Big Brother figure tapping everyone’s phone and manipulating the press and the Joker will be sent to a jail that he’ll surely escape from. The very end has Batman barely escaping from… wait for it… the police! Because a dead LAWYER gives hope to a city! The real reason there is no resolution is because they want money for a sequel, which millions will wait in line for hours to see and then praise.

I’m now convinced that any movie that debuts number one at the box office is just mindless trash, engineered by committee to be liked by as many people worldwide as possible, who lap it up like an obese cat drinking milk from a dirty bowl.

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Anonymous
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troll post

dada
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Have you ever actually fired a bazooka? Let alone shot at a moving target from a moving platform? smile

D
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I couldn’t agree more. every one of my friends says this was the greatest movie and blah blah blah. But when I ask how the last 10 minutes of the movie ended…. no one knows or can remember. Shouldn’t that be a mark of lameness that the directors couldn’t muster up enough action or even dialogue ( which there was too much of) to keep the audience remembering the ending?

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The Two Face stuff was clearly the weakest point, with this I agree. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention close enough, but I don’t get why he had his face pressed in that gasoline.

While I didn’t love the Rachael character, a spinster? Really? That assessment just seems to suit your agenda well.

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Anonymous
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Gotham is Chicago, not NYC, in the Dark Knight.

As for D’s comment, anyone that can’t remember the last 10 minutes of the film is a moron.

Leolian'sBro
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Ignoring the tone, themes, atmosphere, pacing, structure and overall feel of a film in favour of nitpicking at plot holes and personal preference is certainly the best way to approach journalism.

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Really my biggest gripe was the casting of MG has Rachel. All other issues aside, she’s not pretty enough for the lead female of a summer movie. Sort of like Julia Roberts in Ocean’s Eleven. Julia Roberts a decade before the movie might be worth the effort of the movie’s alpha male leads. But aged Julia Roberts? Nah. Especially in Vegas.

Otherwise while I get your gripes, I think its that phenomena where some movies just don’t resonate with people, and suddenly the various issues that are inevitably in any superhero (or even regular) movie bug you to no end. I do think the two-face scarring was overboard– cool makeup, but so messed up as to be over the top, even for a summer movie.

This overly long post is my way of fighting back at the man by not actually working on a Monday.

DF
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Sure, well deserved criticisms. All showing the films gaps couldn’t suspend your disbelief but you did miss one thing…..THERE IS A DUDE IN A FUCKING BAT COSTUME BEATING DUDES UP WITH GADGETS…or did you miss that little nugget genius? The whole concept is pretty ridiculous.

Why don’t you talk about something you do know about like being unemployed, living with your parents at near 30 years of age, and picking up chicks on a $20 per week allowance?

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i think this is a fairly common example of you countering anything that could appear trendy for the sake of countering anything that could appear trendy.

c’mon roosh, any movie – good or bad – requires at least some suspension of reality to be entertaining, especially for audiences as large as those the dark knight is drawing in. the fact that you want to pick it apart in such detail demonstrates that you’ve forgotten this important precondition to enjoying a movie based on a comic book originally written for teenage boys.

if you want something true to life, watch discovery channel or something like that. otherwise pull the prickly 9 foot rod out of your ass and allow yourself to be entertained by something mainstream once in a while.

flamboer
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I definitely agree with your commentary about the Dark Knight. I enjoyed it but I felt there were some parts that were lacking.

I found you through Jack Goes Forth but I somehow feel I know you from a forum I used to go to that discussed women and how to pick them up. I think it was SBB but it’s been seven years since then. Am I right?

Old Ben Kenobi
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Its a fucking comic book movie people. That’s how Two Face is supposed to look, and it came out looking pretty cool. Who cares if he would have gotten an infection in real life?

ashrafanam
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That’s no way how Two Face is supposed to look and most Nolanites forget Batman is a comic book character.

finefantastic
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details, details. count me in among the other obese cats, lapping away. it was highly entertaining during the 2 portions of the movie that i was actually conscious.

the casting of maggie was a considerable improvement over katie holmes…although i’d rather see jennifer connelly, ANY DAY.

joker is the ultimate in post-modern moral relativism. batman was moral absolutes for no reason. they are essentially the same.

and i would say Lynch’s Inland Empire is a strong contender for most confusing movie of all time…

Matt
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Man… I’ve been reading you for over a year now, even bought your book a while back. I’ve got to say though, you’ve gotten so bitter lately, you’re getting tiresome to read.

RASC
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I too share the same feelings as ‘Matt’ above. You’re becoming ever more tiresome and a tad on the bitter side these day’s. What’s wrong?

Generate
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Movie was sick.

Anonymous
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Minor points…
1. Gotham was brightened up to show the positive effects of Batman/Dent.
2. Every movie has that. Easily beaten henchmen with a tough boss.
3. Who says he missed? Didn’t he want to be caught?
4. Think about it Roosh. The Joker told Batman the wrong info. He switched which character was in each location. Being a mouth breather, I guess that needed to be spelled out for you more clearly.
5. The fact that people liked the Joker is a success in my book. The whole point of the movie was to blur the line between good and evil, right and wrong.
6. Last time I checked, neither boat blew the other one up.

Major…

Your first two points are on the money. Maggie G is fugley, and I wasn’t buying the Two Face thing. The third point is debatable. It resolved about as well as you can expect from a franchise series. I don’t think Christopher Nolan planned on Heath Ledger ODing, otherwise there may have been a bit more closure.

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The movie has shortfalls and the movie would be nothing without Ledger. It would clearly be an average movie at best without his Joker, which is not overrated in the least.

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Steve Lurkel
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“…the Joker will be sent to a jail that he’ll surely escape from.”

The Joker will likely be sent to Arkham Asylum, not jail.

p.s. stop hatin’.

R. Mutt
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I agree with Roosh one this. I thought I was the only person who didn’t think it was all that, and basically grossly over hyped blockbuster. Thank god for this post cuz I thought I was the only one who didn’t like it.

ashrafanam
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you’re not alone…and you have all real Batman fans out there too who hate the movie

R. Mutt
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wow…lots of typos and redundancy in that post. My bad.

Benedict Smith
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-Gotham looked different b/c Batman had been cleaning up the city, ala the meeting between the Joker and the mobsters…..when he made his offer to get rid of Batman for them.
-the point about the blades and the dogs, again, like the first movie, Batman’s a work in progress, he hasn’t been doing the “Batman” thing for decades….

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roissy
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i go into these types of movies with my brain set on “summer blockbuster” mode. i don’t set the screenwriting or plot consistency bar at the high level of an indie flic at E st cinema. this way, i can sit back and not question too much and just let the FX and one liners and punches flow over me like a narcotic. there is room in my life for turning off my powers of analysis and regressing to the state of a vegetable.

that said, i agree with most of your minor and major points. it defies credulity that a boatload of prisoners would suddenly find morality and spare another boat of regular people. in real life, the thugs would’ve pulled the trigger before joker even finished his instructions over the intercom. the movie cheated the audience here by taking the easy way out. it would’ve been braver had the people on the ferries confirmed joker’s worldview.

there’s no way in real life OR in fake movie life that a has-been plain jane like maggie gyllenhaal would monopolize the time and attentions of the two biggest alpha studs in gotham. now the russian ballerina on the other hand…

batman’s fake husky low voice was cheesy enough to distract from the rest of the cartoony story.

ledger’s joker was good, but not as good as hopkin’s lector.

there was a subtheme revolving around the war on terror. depending on your politics, you could find support for either position in this movie.

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Bobby Rio
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Does anyone else feel that Christian Bale makes a shitty batman?

He is robotic and has no charisma.

As for Gyllenhaul..i have no clue why they would have picked her for the part.

The whole Two Face thing had me consfuseed as well. Nolan did such a good job trying make Batman more realistic and unexplainable.. then he wants us to believe Dent can just walk out of the hospital perfectly fine… plus it was very awkwardly filmed where his face lit on fire.

But I won’t argue the fact that I was entertained the entire time.

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Anyone sensible and knowledgeable about the comic book hero would feel that. I feel Rachael’s character should’ve been killed off at the end of Batman Begins – she was a real pain in the ass. I would say we should actually forget the whole Two Face thing and remember only Harvey Dent. He was one of only three characters in the whole trilogy alongside Gordon and Talia that I would appreciate Nolan for.

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When I say Harvey Dent, I mean only the portrayal of the character as the honest (few Gothamites are) and charismatic DA in the movie and not what Bale’s Bruce Wayne wants the people of Gotham to believe in and the taking of the blame for the murder and all those annoying bullshit.

skadanks
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I’m afraid to read this post, might be spoilers in it.

Patrick Bateman
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When a movie has you rooting for the villain to win and kill the hero and his fake robot voice, it has failed.

I’ve always rooted for the bad guy.

Joe
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The film is very surreal, it’s based on a comic book after all. May be this aspect of the film wasn’t so entertaining to some people, but let’s not overlook how highly philosophical/sociological it was… and i think most of us here could at least understand the joker and his points on life and people.

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I agree about everything except Batman begins being good. That sucked too.

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Ruff
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OMG. Criticisms like these piss me off. DK rocked. It wasn’t a perfect movie. Few ever are, but it is one of the most competent and engaging comic adaptations ever. I mean…sigh…as mentioned before, ANY summer blockbuster, specifically one adapted from media such as a comic book requires a fair amount of disbelief suspension. These are superheroes. The storys are told with BROAD BRUSHTROKES. Let’s acknoweldge this and get over the minor gripes.

as for the major gripes:

1: ugh. Rachel isn’t ms. universe. stop the fuckin presses. Who the fuck cares. She’s an actress playing a part. I mean christopher reeves gave up all his superpowers over margot kidder. Let’s move on.

2: “those burns should cause an infection?” are you fucking kidding me? are you serious here? when the building blew up half his face was covered in gas from well he fell over in his chair. again. this is fucking comic book. Why the hell would a bat fly through the window of a fucking mansion? don’t they have sonar? gimme a fucking break. batman has the looniest gallery of rogues in comic book history. any origin story for them is gonna be a bit far-fetched. let’s move on.

3: NO RESOLUTION?!!? joker was caught. Batman’s on the run and probably a bit more cynical than when he started and gotham’s one real chance at above the board redemption is lost with harvey. Everything has changed. Sure there’s no bow at the end of this, but it’s the 2nd movie of an OBVIOUS trilogy. what resolution were we given at the end of Empire Strikes Back?

Look. there’s hype. there’s excitement. this is people’s childhood fantasies come to life. we’re not supposed to compare this to Michael Clayton or There will Be Blood. Insofar as the medium of moving pictures can translate a story from the medium of comic books this was a phenomenal achievement.
It can never be perfect. this is why Alan Moore completely divorces himself from any adaptation of his works. If you are going to criticize a movie based on the gaps between one medium and another (which is essentially what you were doing) then you might as well not see ANY superhero movie.

ashrafanam
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Are you kidding? It is the worst comic book adaptation of the character ever. If it is based on a comic book, what do you need all the shitty hyper-realism for?

Gelln
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Hah, another provocative article. I totally agree w/ this post though. That movie was so whack. I came for the FX, and thats all I enjoyed. It was completely awful on so many levels, and I mean, the fuckng prison boat scenario is soooo obvious: the prison guards wld push the button…. on the premise that the citizens on the other boat wldnt give a fuck abt the prisonners to begin with, so why shld I die as an innocent prison guard?

Anonymous
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You should stick with discussing game…

Wiscanada
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Batman did a good job of satisfying the comic book clueless and uber geeks alike. If you are looking for a summer blockbuster that lets your brain stop working for an hour and a half, but completely butchers the comic it was based on. Watch Wanted.

ashrafanam
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It does, bro. Completely.

topshelf
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Yes, Roosh this movie was a hideous confusing mess, even for a summer blockbuster. It did nothing at any emotional level and played down to “idiocracy” america. Why was it so successful? Hype and people have nothing better to do this time of year.

Can’t believe an actor like Gary Oldman could have his talents wasted like that, as boring, dull, Gordon.

David Alexander
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Two-Face Subplot: Tacked on crap designed to make people feel the movie was worth $10.

Rachel and Harvey Dent: An alpha couple that could feasibly exist in any large city.

Rachel and Bruce Wayne: Something that boggled the mind since Bruce Wayne is capable of “buying” better women (e.g The Russian ballerina).

I may deal with this topic tonight on my blog…

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Terps
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Saw the movie…thought it was pretty good but I liked jack nicholson’s joker better.

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I feel that the bashing of this movie is way over the top.

1) the movie is a fantasy is every aspect things will not be realistic in so far as plot creationa nd character development.

2) the two face subplot was designed to create the villian in the next movie who is obviously going to be two-face. a joker card is seen at the end of the first movie and we are never shown a dead body at the ending though the scene did look like a eulogy for harvey dent.

3) maggie is not that attractive but she is a good actress so ya take what you can get.

4) the ending boat scene, as contrived as it appeard is about the prisoners dilemma. i’m sure you all heard about it and the point of it was symbolism, nothing more.

the only fair criticisms of this movie are that the ending lacked a solid finale. the joker battle was weak and the harvey dent kid scenario was lame. another criticism being how absurd that sonar device was because it really interrupted the chasing joker down aspect the whole movie has developed. the other criticism could be how heavy handed all the metaphors and symbolism was. I can accept these things. personally i just looked past them and didn’t let it destroy the movie because honestly the action, acting and special effects were phenomenal and the battle of ‘chaos’ versus justice was interesting.

it is after all a batman movie.

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You know, I haven’t seen this yet, ass. And I may be the only one in the comments who’ll say this, but I would totally throw it in Maggie Gyllenhaal. You guys just don’t have refined tastes.

I didn’t think Batman Begins was all that special either, better than a Clooney Batman, but not as good as Spiderman. And Christian Bale has no dimension; it’s like he’s swimming through the role. The best non-Adam West Batman has always been Michael Keaton, in normal person attire, brandishing a saucepan and demanding that we get nuts.

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For those of you that think I’m trolling or being over the top..

I never see movies in the theater. I think it’s a waste of money. But all my friends said it was good and the reviews were incredible. I went in excited like a schoolgirl for an entertaining movie that would flow and tell a good story.

When it was done i looked over to my buddy and we both had the same expression. We couldn’t understand why everyone loved it. Walking out we kept our heads down trying to comprehend why it was so great, coming up empty. Next to us walked a few meatheads that high fived each other over the “awsome”ness of the movie.

The last bad movie I saw was Rambo IV, but at least it was entertaining without trying to outsmart itself with these subtle political messages that don’t fit. In TDK even think the action sequences weren’t good.

In six months no one will remember this movie.

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You were disappointed, fair enough. Someone needs to set an egg timer for six months from now, and see if we’ve all forgotten “The Dark Knight” just like “Titanic” was forgotten in six months (this is sarcasm). The only question in my mind is if “TDK” will pass “Titanic” in domestic box office when adjusted for inflation. In nominal terms, I’m sure it will crush “Titanic”. Hollywood should be so fortunate that a movie like this is forgettable after six months.

R. Mutt
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Didn’t even notice the sub textual theme of a war on terror. Irrespective, well said Roissy.

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I agree with you Roosh, but unfortunately I think all the bat butt muncher fans will once again attempt to relive the glory and momentum in the sequel. Despite their die hard attachment I foresee little success unless another cast member manages to go emo and (accidentally or otherwise) call it quits. I should knock on wood, because even though Christian Bale’s bat voice was akin to a Cannibal Corpse vocal set, his past roles in American Psycho, Equilibrium for example, really attest to his talent as an actor.

ashrafanam
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You got that right bro, you got that right.

Anonymous
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Last three posts: really weak. Get your ass back out on the road and let’s hear more about banging hot exotics. Nobody gives a fuck about your opinions on film, and revealing that you can’t deliver an orgasm after all the practice you’ve had is… kind of pitiful.

secret asian man
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Maggie is no supermodel, but still very cute. I’d hit it, and if you say you wouldn’t, you’re a liar.

DF
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So roosh you saying that with your stupendous powers of clairvoyance you know what’s going to happen in 6 months but you can’t focus those abilities to figure out if a girl you’re banging has an orgasm? Get your money back from the superpower store son, ’cause you need the cash on top of the foodstamps.

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I was disappointed in the lack of nudity.

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Shorter version of Roosh’s post and many of the comments: My tastes are superior because I don’t like a movie that is very popular. If its not a foreign indie film with subtitles then it isn’t good enough for my enlightened mind. Living in your dad’s basement is cool.

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While I can understand honest “film” criticisms in terms of plot character development etc. I still don’t see how even the most casual action, fantasy or comic book fan doesn’t enjoy this movie. If this movie “sucked” what word is left to describe “Catwoman” or “Daredevil”?
There’s really no reason to rain on the DK parade.
This reeks of “2cool4theroomism”.

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David Alexander
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My tastes are superior because I don’t like a movie that is very popular. If its not a foreign indie film with subtitles then it isn’t good enough for my enlightened mind.

I guess Roosh is now emphasizing the whiter people side of his Persian ancestry…

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i agree 100% with roosh. as a diehard fan of batman, i had friends and family raving about how the movie was “thrilling,” “one of the best movies ever made,” “scary as hell,” so i went in with the hopes of having a transcending experience. instead from the opening parking garage fight scene i knew something was wrong. it seems as if they were inspired by spiderman 3 and tried to cram as much as they could into 2.5 hours. only the joker’s scenes saved this movie.

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On a whole, your post have really been horrible as of late.
Get back on track man, and STOP out sourcing the only decent matter to other sites or your “newsletter.”