The Easy Way Out

This excerpt is from Bang

With any task you do, whether it be related to women or sports or any type of game, there are a certain number of times you must fail until you succeed. Each act of failure puts you one step closer to success. During an important presentation at work in front of thirty scientists, I interchanged the words lactose and lactate several times. This is akin to showing up at a meeting in the Oval Office without wearing pants. While I was embarrassed afterwards, it taught me simple but essential rules of how to plan and construct a presentation for educated professionals. With each presentation, I got better and better, until I was the preferred person to present data generated by our group. But without those initial mistakes, I wouldn’t have been able to polish my skills. Not doing anything may prevent you from failure, but because you make no attempt, it prevents you from success as well. This principle is especially important when it comes to women because you need to rack up a boatload of rejections to understand how to be really good with them. I have been rejected more than most guys I know, but I have also been with more women than most guys I know. You try more, you get more—there is no secret to it.

A week ago I got an email from a guy. He said he’s been reading my newsletters and he likes them, and is ready to put them into action with a girl he likes. He wanted specific advice for this situation so that he could succeed on his very first at-bat.

I don’t think he liked the advice I gave him, which focused on the long-term instead of the short-term.

Improving your game is not meant for any one girl, it’s meant for you. It’s meant to give you a skill that you can use until you die. Studying the game or improving for one girl is supplication. You might as well impress her with a fancy car or put on magic pig pheromones.

A lot of guys don’t understand that you have to fail a lot with the girls you want to get the girls you want. I keep tabs on the seduction community and there are a lot of products that promote instant, effortless change which appeal to the guys like the one who wrote me. They want to come across as supreme alpha stud to bang the girl in Psychology class. They want to get better NOW to get that gorgeous girl at work. He wants to fake it with a couple magic lines and live the rest of his days as a happy man with the dream girl that all other guys want. But it doesn’t work like that.

If you’re not ready to put in the work, to get rejected and allow girls to spit on your fragile ego, you will never be good. There is no shortcut.

It’s Friday. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t do at least 10 approaches this weekend. You’ll get rejected in most of them, I can promise you that, but come Monday you’ll feel like a king. You’ll be a bit closer.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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Steve Lurkel
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right on, man.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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so true, so true. this one made me laugh. i got shot down BAD about 6 times last weekend…

Then I stumbled on the bachelorette party where for some reason i could do no wrong and the fucking magic happened – it was great.

leave the ego behind. get over the fucking approach and close the deal. else, go home, buy a fucking trial to bangbus.com and live a boring life.

confidence will get you things in life you’ve never deserved.

Namtab
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Namtab
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preach on, roosh.

Eric
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Eric
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great post, Roosh. I totally agree. It’s similar to people that go on the Atkins diet or the South Beach diet to lose weight NOW. They don’t accept that their lifestyle is incompatible with how they want to look and that they need to make fundamental, long-term changes to the way they live.

Eric’s last blog post: Great Expectations.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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usually i cant stand you…ughhh but this post was sweet

Virgle  Kent
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Man, it’s like we say, you’ve got to pay your dues. You’ve got to put in that work to do that work.

J.Woods
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J.Woods
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Great advice. Becoming good at anything takes time. While there are people who have natural talents, generally there is a learning curve for any activity.

If you aren’t being rejected, you aren’t trying hard enough.

J.Woods’s last blog post: Leaping Before You Look.

JS
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JS
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Never really thought about it from this perspective, but I like this viewpoint.

Any interaction with a woman is just practice for the next one.

DF
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DF
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Check out the wise words from this mother fucker?! Well done man. Well done.

cob
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cob
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good stuff Roosh

Sunny
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Sunny
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Thanks Roosh.

A girl is taking me out tonight, and I want to approach and open up other women that may be present at the venue. Knowing that I may get shot down as she watches is twice as unnerving. But let’s see how much I can get away with wink

BatesHorn
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BatesHorn
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At the risk of inflating your ego, I’ll also send my kudos your way on this post.

Once you get rejected enough, you learn not to give a shit if a complete stranger turns you down. Then the world suddenly opens up.

todd h.
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todd h.
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well written/ well said.

roissy
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roissy
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i think that dude in the sugardaddie.com ad is paul janka.

roissy’s last blog post: The Easiest Way To Bang A Hot Chick.

R.
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R.
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this is the way I am framing it as well. First gf i had in a long ass time, dumped me . crushed my ego,etc. I handled the break up like a 10 year old.

I am trying to frame it as , getting rejected by this girl is not the point. She wasn’t “the one”, whatever that means. All failure is feedback.

Just wish it didnt hurt so much.

Bargearse
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Bargearse
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Amen.

JC
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JC
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Im married to a brazil gal. Im 63 and shes 52.

We dont feel it. i got guys 29 hitting on her.

and not just one.

I asked her:

“Ever notice the energy you send out?”

She replied with a smile. They’ll still be hitting on her 15 years from now.

its a real trip. i feel like 35.

Voces falam portugues?

Jc

Fasttrack401
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Fasttrack401
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Women the world over can see a jerk coming a mile away. Why? most men’s brains are between their legs. Thats a fact. I found out the best way to know women is to ask another woman. They love to gossip. Ever try asking a girl out on a real date? eg. “Would you like to go out to dinner and later dancing. I know of some nice places to dance”. Don’t forget the flowers guys. Girls love flowers. Oh! You don’t know how to dance. That’s a shame. Duh!!! How about some DANCE LESSONS!!! If that dosen’t work, well guys, you figure it out. Been there and done that.

Fasttrack401

Andrew
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Andrew
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Nice. Very nice.

Jonk
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Jonk
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It’s also that this guy has a fear of failure. And fear of failure is one of the biggest women-killing mindsets that there is.

When he goes up to a woman, what’s important is that he doesn’t give a shit if he ‘fails.’ There’s plenty more where that one came from.

Banana
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Banana
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My friend always asked me, “Do you know who’s got the MLB record for the most stolen bases?”

I say, “Duh, Ricky Henderson.”

He follows with, “Do you know who has the record for getting out the most trying to steal bases?”

“No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

“Ricky Henderson”

Also, it’s better to regret the things you did than the things you never did.

Banana’s last blog post: G2P.org uses Google to Find Music.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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My failure rate with ‘the girls I want’ is 100%.

Aaron
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Aaron
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Brett Favre is both the all time leader in career touchdowns and interceptions. (and wins)

Seduction Chronicles
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Truer words were never spoken.

Seduction Chronicles’s last blog post: Life is Repetitive by David Wygant.