The Fast Kiss

From Bang:

You’ll notice I gave a way to start the date without accounting for whether you kissed her or not in your previous encounter. That’s because even if you did kiss her beforehand, you can’t just greet her with your tongue—you have to “start over” again and rebuild the energy from the last time you saw her. It’s like re-priming a pump. When it comes to the first date, the only difference that prior kissing makes is towards the end of the date, when you are most likely to get farther.

How important is it to kiss a girl when you first meet her? There are a couple ways of looking at it. The first: Does kissing a girl increase the likelihood of her returning my first call? From my experience and that of my friends, it seems to make no difference. That’s because kissing is really not a big deal in this culture, where girls will kiss a guy just because she is intoxicated and her friend is already hooked up with another guy. (But in Argentina, for example, the kiss is a big deal and probably would increase chances of a return call).

The fast kiss actually does two things: (1) it keeps you on task and (2) it makes the first date a lot more exciting. When you’re talking to a girl and your goal is something vague like “build attraction,” what happens is you may overdo things like humor for the sake of being interesting and miss an opportunity. Instead of thinking of how ready she is to receive your mouth, you are wondering what your next awesome conversational piece will be. But if your goal is to kiss her, you will do just enough humor or teasing or conversation until you get those subtle signs to progress things by touching and glancing at her lips instead of talking. You should be getting the kiss under the two hour mark, but 45-60 minutes is more ideal. (If your mind is saying “That’s crazy!” then you need to work either on your game or venue selection.)

If you don’t kiss her when you first meet, the most you will probably get on the first date is a makeout. Since it’s difficult to get the makeout out of the way early in the date, you have to wait until the end, and by then she will most likely not be prepared for doing much more. But if you did kiss her when you first meet, she is far more open to going past that. She is going on a date with a guy she already kissed because she wants to do more. I don’t think I had sex with any girl on the first date that I didn’t kiss beforehand.

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Tastemakers Blogazine
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I say always go for the kiss on the first date, right before you say hello. That will set the tone and mood for the rest of the date, or else you will just end up being her meal ticket for the night. Also by the way Roosh, there is a hilarious article in the City Paper titled “Doing more with less” about this people milking the unemployment system. Check it here:
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/display.php?id=34682

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Ava V
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Ava V
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“Does kissing a girl increase the likelihood of her returning my first call? From my experience and that of my friends, it seems to make no difference.”

This is so true. I’ll kiss just about anyone, as long as they don’t have a visable sign of herpes. Picking up the phone is entirely different, and i’d agree that kissing at hello is a great way to set the tone early.

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Beach Bum
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For me kissing makes a huge difference in a return call, but not the way you think… If you kiss me, and there are sparks, you are most definitely getting a return call from me. If you kiss me and there’s nothing there, or you’re just awful at it, you bet I’m not going out with you again…

And if you kissed me before, I see nothing wrong with you greeting me with your tongue next time we meet. I hate when guys make a big deal of it, when we have already kissed. Obviously if I kissed you back and I’m going out with you again, it means I want to be kissed more!

Oh, and I don’t kiss just about anyone either… If I don’t feel anything for the guy at all, he’s getting my cheek… If I’m still debating about whether I like him or not? Then yep, I’ll kiss him back.

And I HATE HATE HATE American guy tendencies to wait until the end of the date to make a move. It makes it so awkward. You want to kiss me? Go for it, get it out of the way.

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Twoste
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exactly how does “venue selection” help? do you mean like, “find the setting sun”?

craig of travelvice.com
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“If you kiss me and there’s nothing there, or you’re just awful at it, you bet I’m not going out with you again…”

@Beach Bum: Well said!

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Arjewtino
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That is one of the more interesting Argentinean paradoxes: in a culture where friendly kissing on the cheek is much more common than in the U.S., kissing on the mouth, however, is more important.

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roissy
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it’s funny that kissing has become not such a big deal for american chicks when for the longest time it was well-known that porn stars wouldn’t kiss on set because they felt that was more intimate than penis in vagina penetration. now the kisses are thrown around like cell numbers.

this is why your advice is good. if kissing were still a big deal then a kiss later in the date might work to secure a second date. since it’s not, it’s best to declare your sexual intentions and kiss her right away. many guys don’t do this because they find it tough to get past their gentleman programming. just grab her and go for it, like you were shaking her hand. if she turns her cheek to you, make nothing of it. proceed as normal.

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dchero
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The type of kiss is such an important detail left out here. Just ‘kissing a girl’ might make no difference on whether she calls back, but all kisses are not created equal. If it’s real passion, you get the fuck-me eyes after you pull away. If it’s your standard good night kiss, that’s a different story.

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T.
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She is going on a date with a guy she already kissed because she wants to do more. I don’t think I had sex with any girl on the first date that I didn’t kiss beforehand.

So true. That says it all right there.

porn stars wouldn’t kiss on set because they felt that was more intimate than penis in vagina penetration

I actually heard many porn stars say this was a myth, especially popularized by Boogie nights.

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roissy
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hey roosh you definitely qualify for #82 on the stuffwhitepeoplelike site. your score is rising!

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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Haha, that is so true about what you said about the guys who dress like they are going to climb a mountain. I never understood their logic.

InterestedParty
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What about going to sleep on the first night? This is the level of game I’m trying to attain. I’m done with numbers.

Nomadz
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The relation between kiss and having sex seems to be culturally biased. While it seems that for american or canadian girls, kissing is not a big deal and can still leave you standing very far away from sex, european girls tend to consider it more intimate, and hence closer to actually having sex. A French, English or Italian chick will not let you kiss her that easily – because once they let you kiss them, that means you WILL have sex very soon in the same day (99 % certainty). Kissing in NOT part of the early stages of the game for them, but is an act of surrender. In Asia, on the contrary, girls tend to be more similar to northern americans, and can kiss you quite easily, but that doesn’t really mean you have earned the right to pull their clothes off yet.

Seduction Chronicles
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@T: Actually Ive heard that from numerous pickup artists about taking girls that have boyfriends to the bathroom in clubs. Many wont kiss, but will have intercourse because its less personal. Crazy.

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TR
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TR
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lol I stole this girl from her man in Brazil and she told me I was getting too personal by kissing too much but we were fucking without a rubber on!

FKYEAH
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FKYEAH
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@Twoste i believe he means the scale of the girls your picking with venue selection, as in if your focusing on a to high venue as in 8’s when your game isn’t tight enough you need to change venue to a lower scale.

Anonymous
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If you don’t kiss her when you first meet, the most you will probably get on the first date is a makeout.

UHM… if you didn’t know a make out is better than a kiss LOL