The Happy Man

This post is adapted from a conversation I had with my 14-year-old brother.

While there is a large number of things that can increase the happiness of a man, I believe only five are absolutely essential. They construct a pentagon:

Family & Friends

Human beings are social animals. All those studies that say alcohol is beneficial to your health actually measure the social benefits of drinking (among other things), and not the effects of the drug itself. Truth is we need a stable circle of people to confide in and pass the time with. I accept solitude as a necessary feature of life, as even family members will come and go, but I know that I’m a more grounded, stable person when I’m anchored with other people that share my blood or personality type.


If you’ve ever had a serious health scare, you know how just about everything else fades into the background while you focus on repairing your body, but a lot of people continue to mortgage their future with unhealthy living. This isn’t about living to 100 years old, but living the most number of years with a sound body that enables you to enjoy other points on the pentagon. I rather die at 50, healthy as a horse, than living until 70 with half of those years afflicted by a chronic disease that could have been prevented.

Health is not only physical but mental, too, such as the case with depression and anxiety. I know that my mental health degrades when staying in the United States for an extended period of time, improving drastically once I hit the road.

Fulfilling Work

It’s hard to approach other areas with vigor and optimism if you don’t look forward to each and every day, something that only a fulfilling job can give. Otherwise you may fall into ruts that involve drug abuse and wasteful habits like television watching or obsessing about the news. There are too many hours in a day to suffer not having something that stimulates your brain and allows you to feel that you’re making a positive difference in the world.

One good thing about my generation is that they are less patient with boring jobs. You won’t find us working in factories (like there are any, anyway) and it’s common for men to take a year or two off to explore things on their own in order to discover the type of life that tailors them best. You probably already know several men who are doing what they love, with gigs that most likely started as an extension of their hobbies. We live in an age where a budding writer, musician, artist, or entrepreneur can succeed with desire and hard work, something that was considerably harder twenty years ago. Old excuses for being stuck in a dead-end office job are no longer valid.


We can’t fight the genetics that nature has given us, which says that we need to mate with fit members of our species. It is undeniable that a man is most happy when he’s sexually active. There is a point of diminishing return where too many women will not increase happiness, but there is a basal level of sex that I’m sure releases beneficial hormones into the male bloodstream, allowing him to more easily focus on other aspects of the pentagon. For most of my 20s, my main focus was on women, but as I can now stay sexually active with a smaller amount of effort, my focus has easily shifted to accomplishing other goals.


Lack of money limits your options for achieving other areas like health and women. One problem with the Western man is that even though he is making a lot of money (compared to men from other countries), his lifestyle is too high maintenance and full of consumer waste. His income is high but because he doesn’t save, he will never see the benefits that a pile of cash can give him, such as peace of mind and extra options during stressful times when he experiences a direct hit to work or health areas. The Western man ends up worrying more about the future than a poor man living in a Brazilian favela.

Currently I’m more financially secure than I’ve ever been in my life, but I live like a frugal man because I know that an upgrade in lifestyle with more “stuff” will not result in an increase in happiness. I enjoy my time with simple experiences while letting money in the bank balance the ups and downs that will get thrown at me.

Understand that every point is connected and always affecting each other:

In America it’s hard to have health with money, and even an overindulgence with women can result in health problems. A problem with work may strain relationships with family and friends, or hammer your energy so that you don’t have enough left over for women. Here’s the happy man “pentagon” that we have been trained to believe since birth:

Many Western men believe money, above all else, will lead to happiness, but your life can still be bleak if you are rich but haven’t worked on the other areas.

I can’t say I’m too optimistic for the Western man. It is now exceedingly difficult for him to find a decent woman, regardless of his income. He has the least amount of friends of any culture, and he has to deal with the most expensive health care system in the world along with diminishing job prospects. While expatriation is an idea that may improve the life of many men, it will not bring him more happiness than if was already born into a society whose soil was fertile enough for his development. Western land has become an increasingly harsh environment for robust crop cultivation.

The key to happiness is balance. While a short-term excess with one point won’t hurt you, prolonged obsession with women, work, or money, for example, will definitely cause other areas to suffer. Is there a book written on how this balance can be achieved? Is there a man who can be modeled? I don’t believe so. You must determine the best mix for yourself by being mindful about working on all five areas. That usually means working hard on your goals, changing comfortable routines, taking risks, and being a real man instead of a chump that modern culture is telling you to be. You must carefully stop and think at what affects your being. You must make the right changes, and you must embrace a lifelong process that will make you not only happier, but the best man that you can be.


  1. Tampa November 16, 2010 at 9:39 am

    Five start post. Especially the money advice. I spend every damn dollar I make and in biblical terms nothing could be more foolish and ignorant. It’s a total western culture thing.

  2. craig | November 16, 2010 at 10:08 am

    This reminded me of a paragraph that I wrote back in 2008:

    I’m often asked about travel budgets, and how to make a trip to region Z a successful one based on X dollars in hand, or how much long-term travel really costs in the first place. The reality is that it’s different for everyone, and it’s up to each individual to trim expenses back to a lifestyle level that they’re comfortable with. Remember, the big four cost components of any long-term travel are going to be food, accommodation, Internet, and transportation.

    The varying amounts of cost and quality within these four items result in my perception of value, and that in turn impacts my happiness (as I am a value-for-my-dollar driven person). This is what we would call utility, in economic terms.

    Being a father adds the burden of baby into my costs, but by CouchSurfing I’ve removed both the expenses of accommodation and Internet.

    All about your personal perception of balance.

    craig |’s last blog post: Photos from the Giza Necropolis.

  3. ericthemighty November 16, 2010 at 10:14 am

    by far your best post ever. good stuff man. I’m 100% with you. Fulfilling business is new for me, but it’s so important.

  4. ericthemighty November 16, 2010 at 10:15 am

    there is a book that talks about this balance, although he doesnt call it that… and how to achieve it.. “The Four Agreements” Miguel Ruiz… something. You can find it everywhere in the world translated

  5. The Rookie November 16, 2010 at 10:47 am

    “Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.” So said one of the advisors to the prince in the Princess Bride.

    Each of these at any given time carries more weight than the other. But I wonder if some of them are always more important? Health is probably it.

    The Rookie’s last blog post: Baffled.

  6. Sweatpants November 16, 2010 at 11:17 am

    I think of happiness much more simply. Eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired.

  7. Race November 16, 2010 at 11:46 am

    I beleive William H. Danforth founded the Ralston Purina Company in St. Louis touched something similar (but not exact)about similar points in a mans life. A good post Roosh. When i was 14 i wish I had an older brother like you to clue me in. But then again when i was 14 this was all pre-internet , and no doubt the world wide web has played an important role in making men more aware of their world.

    Your statement here is also quite true: “I can’t say I’m too optimistic for the Western man. It is now exceedingly difficult for him to find a decent woman, regardless of his income.”

    One of the sings of the times no doubt. But then Roosh what can you suggest for a remedy or treatment for this?

  8. The G Manifesto November 16, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Good post.

    I like how you mention “the social benefits of drinking”. I would take it a step further and add “the social benefits of smoking cigarettes” also.

    This is as excellent point:

    “One problem with the Western man is that even though he is making a lot of money, his lifestyle is too high maintenance and full of consumer waste.”

    Lately, I have really scaled back to spending all my CASH on travel and experiences. I have never really been one to buy a bunch of Chinese made crap like big screen tvs anyways, but I am starting to be a little smarter with money.

    I still buy the occasional Custom Made Suit. But that is a dying art, and are handmade in Italy, UK or America, so it’s a different deal.

    – MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: America’s Image Problem.

  9. The G Manifesto November 16, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Another thought:

    Health, Family and Friends, and Money are the most important of the five.

    If you have those three, the women part is easy.

    So is the fulfilling work part.

    – MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: America’s Image Problem.

  10. Johnson November 16, 2010 at 12:57 pm

    Yes, really a five star post. Excellent.

    Wise words from Mr. Onassis, who was a very rich man:

    “After a certain point, money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts.”

    “If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.”

    “The more you own, the more you know you don’t own.”

  11. Bad Hussar November 16, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Good Post

    As far as the medical expenses go, I’m sure many, or even most, people reading your blog would be aware of the medical tourism trend. People travel to certain countries specifically to undergo various medical procedures at much lower cost than their home country. The same medical procedure performed in Costa Rica, Hungary, Thailand etc. costs a fraction of what it would cost in a ultra-expensive jurisdiction like the US. Unless your medical condition is so bizare that you need world experts to attend to you, it really shouldn’t make much difference where you are treated. Provided you choose wisely of course.

    Otherwise, there are certainly a lot of men everywhere in the world looking for the kind of balance and lifestyle you describe. Personally the ones I’m working hardest at is Fullfilling Work and Money. They definitely go together in my book. The thought of being forever chained to a desk, or even being restricted to one city or country, and meekly requesting one lousy weeks vacation from an uncaring HR department does not appeal to me.

    One thing I realised long ago is that full time work doesn’t really pay that well. Part-time can be a better deal overall. I don’t know about the US, but in all the countries I’ve worked in if you cut down your work year to just 6 months in every year, you’ll typically receive a tax refund equivalent to one months salary based on a full years work. Essentially it works out as: “Work for 6 months, get paid for 7 months”. This is mainly due to so called “progressive” taxation where the more money you make the higher the rate of tax is applied to earnings beyond certain thresholds. This works best for people who earn their money from regular employment and are in the broad middle income range. If you make a lot of money, or very little the benefit decreases. Something to think about for people who could realistically work for just 6 months of the year (e.g. consultants). Your drop in income may be a bitlower than you anticipate.

    I’m basically saying there are always ways to game the system. It is not desingened for the earnest man or women who accepts the rules as they appear.

  12. Solo November 16, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    While I agree with your post I think your missing the biggest piece of the puzzle, Spirituality! were spiritual beings, I’m not talking about religion. The times were I have been the most fulfilled in my life is when I live my life according to God’s will. My confidence and attitude were never better.

    Solo’s last blog post: Hip-Hop and Closed minded Conservatives.

  13. Tony Ryan November 16, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    Great post Roosh!

    Balance is definitely the long-term route to happiness, however I do believe that swinging the pendulum off to the extreme for a short period of time can be healthy.

    For example, for about 1.5 years I tried to get better with women. I’d go out maybe 2 or 3 times per week, maybe take a few weeks off here and there then go back out again. I saw little to no ass during this time.

    Then I decided to practically drop everything in my life and go out every single day for about 9 months. Within the first 2 months I got more action than the previous 18 and by the end of the 9 months my results were getting straight silly.

    I eventually eased off the going out and focused on other areas of my life but I don’t think I would have attained the skill set I developed if it wasn’t for going hardcore for a short bit of time.

    I think the same can be applied to health and work. I think it’s okay to go hardcore at your career for a period of time (as long as you don’t COMPLETELY neglect the other areas of the pentagon). In fact, I think all worthy pursuits in life demand, that at one point or another, you give the majority of your time and energy to chipping away at it – then eventually swing things back towards homeostasis level.

    I’m definitely not advising guys to be workaholics – but do you think the airplane could have been created if its creator didn’t obsess over the thing to the point where he might have neglected other areas of his life?

    If you want to build a business, actually get good with women, develop a certain skill set, or pursue any extremely challenging pursuit, I think sometimes you HAVE to temporarily tip things to the extreme.

    Tony Ryan’s last blog post: The 1 Quality The 10 Percent Of Successful Men Possess.

  14. Neo November 16, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    Good stuff. It’s about balancing things, everything you mention are a must for a happy man’s life. As far as spirituality goes, I agree with Solo. For me I meditate, but whatever it is it’s a component.

    Neo’s last blog post: She Says To Me “I’m Different.”.

  15. Roosh November 16, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    Solo: I’m an atheist.

  16. hmm November 16, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    nicely put, but these ideas are the cornerstone of many, many self-help/life design/motivational books…

  17. Alex November 16, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    I’d be inclined to disagree with this post – it implies that there are “building blocks” to happiness, which is a fairly facile argument – success yes, but not happiness.

    To illustrate this simply; there are plenty of men who achieve happiness utterly lacking in one or many of these categories (an extreme example would be a monk).

    To be more abstract, this doesn’t address the more ethereal aspects of happiness (which apply to men more than women, though certainly connect with both): examples would include –

    – The concept of earned success (i.e. the Bangladeshi hobo is happier when he catches a squirrel for his lunch than the English welfare recipient is when he buys a new XBox to compliment his 50 inch plasma – granted this is hinted at as a side note above)

    – The value of staying true to a firm set of personal principles, aka integrity, utterly necessary to personal satisfaction

    – The importance of bring value to other peoples’ lives through your actions

    … and I could go on, but you get the picture.

    The most worrying point from this post was on the subject of fulfilling work – about it being a good thing that people aren’t patient with jobs. On the contrary this is a symptom of deep malaise, and the primary thing that’s rotting our (Western – I’m English) society is this entitled belief that we can all be “writers, musicians and artists” *shudder*. The only reason people aspire to such things (people who have no talent that is), is because they are constantly exposed through the media to “peers” doing them in the first place. Attributing this kind of ambition to happiness for men is rather like saying it’s emotionally healthy for a girl to bleat about how she “deserves” a man like that pasty douche from Twilight. Not to mention of course the question of where the funding comes from for this new generation who are teens until they’re 32, and then retire at 55….

    I guess what I’m saying is that I like a lot of thinking on the detailed level (for example being a “real man” and actively working on different areas of your life), but the concept of the diagram is both unnecessary and misleading for “happiness” – it’s more of a post about “success”, which I feel is a very different area.

  18. Timothy November 16, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    Real talk Roosh, real talk. In the last few years I’ve given a lot of thought to this kind of thing. I can’t say that I really know what “happy” is, but I’ve made improvements. I don’t have a close-knit family, but I have a great core of friends. We try to get together whenever time allows, be it for a birthday, New Years, or just a random jaunt to Vegas like we did a couple of weeks ago. If one of us doesn’t have the money, the rest of us have his back. I’ve made it a point to travel more, even if it’s just a weekend somewhere other than my own city. The Knicks are playing the Spurs down in San Antonio in January. I’ve always wanted to see that city, so I’ll go down for the weekend. I’ve used the internet to meet women around the world, and I try to make friendships in cities I’ve always wanted to visit. I’ve visited friends in Mexico, London and Rome this past year. I’ve been at a job that actually challenges me for the past 3 years, and that too has helped my overall wellbeing.

    Most of us don’t have jobs that we just can’t wait to get to every day, but I look at work this way…it gives me the money to do things I DO love to do, like hopping on a plane and going somewhere. If there’s a nice woman at your destination, it’s a bonus. But don’t make it about her. Make it about YOU, and your own experiences. I put aside money whenever possible so when I want to take a trip, I don’t worry so much about whether or not I can afford it. Saving can be hard, but try giving up something else you’re blowing money on. Dispense with people or things that aren’t positive for you.

  19. traveling boho November 16, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    “Is there a book written on how this balance can be achieved?”

    Check out Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics.

  20. Random Guy November 16, 2010 at 10:20 pm

    You forgot TRAVEL

    You can have nice, fulfilling work in Omaha, Nebraska, a cute, but boring girl, decent health and a few dud buddies and still be grossly unhappy.

    Lots of middle Americans have a decent job, decent income, ok health and a decent wife, but life just doesn’t click for them. I’d call it the American lifestyle of unhappiness/meaninglessness.

    Which is why we are so religious. People here in the US need their lives to have meaning. So they turn to religion.

    Plus there is always something aggravating in life. Traffic, the high cost of things, an aggravating work situation, etc.

  21. Rich November 16, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    Great post Roosh, certainly among your best.

    But, like others have mentioned, your list may not be exhaustive. Other important ingredients of happiness that I can think of are (1) self-awareness and (2) the ability to get out of one’s own way. They can improve other aspects of life – relationships, work, wealth and health.

  22. SV Warrior November 16, 2010 at 11:41 pm

    You forgot self esteem. You have to like yourself and have the ability to go it alone at times.

    SV Warrior’s last blog post: PUA’s for life.

  23. Anonymous November 17, 2010 at 12:26 am

    I agree with everything in this post except that America makes your mental health worse, and going abroad makes it better. I think you clearly got worn down while traveling (we all do) both physically and mentally, and your mental health improved when you returned to the U.S.

  24. Anonymous November 17, 2010 at 12:33 am

    On money:

    Roosh, what is your opinion on “What is enough money?”. Obviously, a man should not obsess about owning a mansion in Georgetown, a BMW Z car, and a closet full of $10,000 suits. You and many other PUAs have absolutely proven that this is a complete waste of time in order to impress desirable women.

    That being said, is it worth worrying about paying for the following:

    1. providing privacy for seductions. Remember that group housing comes with very real financial risks such as (but not exclusive to) your roommate(s) running out on you and leaving you with paying the whole rent yourself.

    2. having that privacy in locations where there are large numbers of women you desire

    3. having easy and relatively effortless mobility within that area (be it by car, taxi, or reliable public transit)

    4. having a good wardrobe (not buying a $10,000 suit, but having enough that if you find a $300 suit coat that really works for you, you don’t have to sweat buying it)

    Is it worth worrying about the 4 above and having the money to purchase the 4 items above if one wants to have success with women? Especially if one wishes to have more than an occasional one night stand at her place.

    A lot of my friends (thankfully not me, but I do worry about ending up like them) seem to be running into this wall in the DC area. Is there a way around this to have not just sex but fulfilling relationships (pretend for a second you don’t despise DC women), or is worth moving to other areas of the country or world where having these 4 things is simply more affordable given the average wage?

  25. Ubermind November 17, 2010 at 1:54 am

    Not having money and much stuff can even be good for game.

    For instance I was once obsessing about not having a car. But then I got a girl once just because I didn’t have a car and couldn’t easily get home after a late party so she invited to stay in her place overnight. She is now my GF and unlike most women she does not askfer man to buy cars and stuff, she says we can live without shit

    Even before that, when I didn’t have drivers licence I had a one night stand with a chick in her car while she was teaching me to drive. We made a two day travel across country visiting different places, she teaching me to drive – me banging her. Asking her to teach me driving was my opener.

    You just have to turn your weaknesses into strengths and opportunities. Don’t worry about money.

  26. JEWBACA November 17, 2010 at 10:41 am

    Ever been unemployed??

    Being born in developed nations, we have an imperative to work our assess off as not to leech of the fat of the land. When you close your eyes at night, remember that you have to earn your rest as others are not as lucky as you.

    Be fruitful and multiply!

  27. Timothy November 17, 2010 at 11:36 am

    I read some time ago that only about 20% of Americans hold passports. That’s not to say Americans don’t travel at all, but go to destinations that don’t require a passport, which eliminates a lot of potential destinations. The world is changing, and I think in the not too distant future we’ll need a passport to enter every country. I think we travel within the US, but to the same cities for the most part (NY, Chicago, Miami, California, DC, Las Vegas, New Orleans pre-Katrina, etc.). Many Americans don’t want to travel anywhere where English isn’t widely spoken, and if they do it’s to a resort.

    @22 Random Guy, you’re right regarding aggravation. There will always be something. That’s why getting away occasionally is so important. Changing your surroundings and experiencing something new. NYC is TENSE, and full of nonsense. I love it here, but I need a break from it now and then. New Yorkers can be arrogant about what we have, but we don’t have the BEST of everything, including lifestyle. I was in complete awe when I saw London and Rome for the first time, and when I toured and climbed and walked through Mayan ruins in the Yucatan. I can’t do or see those kinds of things in NY.

    As for your take on religion, I give thought to that often. I’m not religious at all, but was exposed to it growing up. Even as a kid I saw the hypocrisy in organized religion, and as an adult I see how destructive, bigoted and hateful organized religion can be, all in the name of a God. It’s just another group of people banding together to attack other groups. That being said, religion has helped many right their lives when they were headed down the wrong path. No one is perfect, but I’ll respect the person that TRIES to apply some of the basic tenents in daily life. My take on it is that I’ll respect a person’s right to worship whatever God they choose, so long as they respect the fact that I’m NOT religious and spare me the sales pitch. Unfortunately the religious feel the need to bombard the rest of us with it 24/7.

  28. Timothy November 17, 2010 at 11:42 am

    Wise words from Mr. Onassis, who was a very rich man:

    “After a certain point, money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts.”

    “If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.”

    “The more you own, the more you know you don’t own.”

    I did some reading about Aristotle Onassis, who wasn’t a highly educated man, but because of his wealth and power found himself in circles where people had more refinement and culture. When he married Jackie Kennedy he found himself co-mingling with her aristocratic circles more and more. He was asked once how he felt about being in this particular crowd, and he responded, “There are only 3 things you need to know about Aristotle Onassis…I’m fucking Maria Callas (a famous opera singer), I’m fucking Jackie Kennedy, and I’m fucking RICH.” Now THAT’S an alpha for you! BEAUTIFUL.

  29. Bad Hussar November 17, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    “There are only 3 things you need to know about Aristotle Onassis…I’m fucking Maria Callas (a famous opera singer), I’m fucking Jackie Kennedy, and I’m fucking RICH.” Now THAT’S an alpha for you! BEAUTIFUL.

    Ha..ha. That’s hilarious. I have to find a way to use that line someday.

  30. Anonymous November 17, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    GReat post, this rings totally true for my life. I am currently a 36 year old expat living in Nicaragua and these things remain just as important here to me as they were in the states, but I feel like I’m getting a lot closer to acheiving balance here than I did when I was living in Chicago, tipping the money scale in my favor has helped me bring the other parts of the equation into better balance.

  31. Lumiere November 17, 2010 at 7:04 pm

    “Western man. It is now exceedingly difficult for him to find a decent woman, regardless of his income. He has the least amount of friends of any culture, and he has to deal with the most expensive health care system”

    I think you are confusing western man with american man.

    I am a western man and the health care system in my country is 100% free.

    Costs zero, zip, nada, nothing regardless of the procedure.

  32. Gunslingergregi November 18, 2010 at 12:25 am

    “Western man. It is now exceedingly difficult for him to find a decent woman, regardless of his income. He has the least amount of friends of any culture, and he has to deal with the most expensive health care system”

    There are no point in trying to find a decent western woman they all fall under the same bullshit laws. Fuck gaming these ticking timebombs.

  33. andrew November 18, 2010 at 12:26 am

    Roosh, you are way to anti-western in your views. It is ridiculous. Listen, the level of poverty/crime/corruption/living standards/educational systems in most of the world(Latin America, Africa, Eastern Europe, most of Asia) is much below the western world which you lament as horrible. Sure there is a general way of life in the western hemisphere but anyone can choose how they carve out their existence and there are a ton of good people in the USA that one can build a life around. Don’t make it sound so bleak. I lived in Colombia for a year and all the people around me tried to take advantage of me for money and there were more robberies, stabbings, shootings than I had ever seen before in years of living elsewhere. Sure, the people seem happier, but at what cost.

  34. InterestedParty November 18, 2010 at 12:27 am

    I keep saying, but I’m gonna repeat it again. You are VERY lucky to have parents willing to let you crash with them. A key to happiness for a man is to be SELF SUFFICIENT.

    You are not that.

    You can’t really preach about how you’re living some sort of ideal life when mom and dad are footing all your biggest bills. To some extent, it’s like Paris Hilton wondering about why everybody is working so hard for money (not accusing you of being rich kid talking down, just using an extreme example to make a point).

    I have no doubt you are much happier now. I absolutely 100% believe your pentagon of happiness is pretty close to the truth. But it’s VERY easy to talk about the evils of money when your folks are handling that part, shielding you away from that huge part of reality.

    Move out on your own, abandon your room with mom and dad (permanently, not moving back every few months) and THEN feel free to preach away.

  35. Mr T November 18, 2010 at 1:46 am

    “Move out on your own, abandon your room with mom and dad (permanently, not moving back every few months) and THEN feel free to preach away.”

    If he did this, I doubt he could save enough money to travel.

    Roosh probably makes enough to have his own pad nowadays…but I doubt he makes enough money to travel and live on his own.

    In fact, I think he had his own place up until 3 years ago…when he quit his job, I think.

    I sometimes wish I was a trust fund baby and could just live my life as I wished. Ride a motorcycle everyday and do whatever the hell I wanted. Travel. Teach. Sleep in.

    Alas, I am not a trust fund baby and am stuck working like a dog to make ends meet.

    Plus, I don’t have Roosh’s option since my parents wouldn’t want me to move back in with them under any circumstances unless I was completely destitute.

    My dad always joked, even when I was still a teenager, by saying “when are you getting out of here?”

    Roosh should do what he wants. If he can get laid still living at home, then that alone proves he has game.

    Let’s see some avg beta get himself laid while still living at home. The logistics alone are terrible (you basically have to be able to convince the girl to sleep at her place for the night).

  36. andrew November 18, 2010 at 11:48 pm

    It almost seems like you are one of those “opposite people”, that whatever is popular you go against it. Let’s not be a rebel just for the sake of it. Is there anything wrong with working a normal job? No, you can add a lot of value and if you invest in it and are creative you can be more than just a drone. At my job I am constantly improving everything about the job, I dress better, continue to handle social interactions better, continue to improve my working conditions and continue to improve the work culture and work itself by submitting innovative ideas. I think living in the US isn’t as bad as you make it out to be, it all depends on what you make of it. It’s kind of annoying to see you just bash it all the time. Maybe moving permanently would be a good option for you.

    The other thing is you always preach how everyone in the west is so focused on money and work. That is not true at all for me, I don’t care about climbing the social ladder and being rich for shit. I want a comfortable life that I can enjoy, if I’m rich I would use the money to give back not to show off. Just because fight club came out doesn’t mean everyone in the USA is all like Edward Norton’s character in the beginning of the movie. The other point to that is this, wouldn’t you rather have a country were the people have a good work ethic. Try going to Santa Marta, Colombia, the life is really relaxed there, but then you also see the people resorting to theft and corruption to get by. And you see a lot of people just relax all day. I would be more proud to be from a place where the people are interested in improving their lives and adding value to society rather than a country where everyone is all about relaxation. Working doesn’t just have to be about money. Maybe it could be about maximizing one’s talents and improving the world.

  37. Timothy November 19, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    As for the criticism of America and American culture…relax guys. The whole “if you don’t like it here, leave” response is bullshit. There’s little harm in being critical of our culture and what it produces. Sure, there are aspects of our country and culture that can’t be matched elsewhere, but that doesn’t mean we have the best of everything. We don’t. There are certain aspects of other country’s cultures that if incorporated here could make OUR lives somewhat better. And we SHOULD travel and see and interact with other cultures to improve ourselves as individuals. And not just for pussy, even though that’s an added bonus.

    I don’t think Roosh suggests his lifestyle is the best for all, but there are certain aspects of it that I think EVERY man can benefit from, outside of gaming. I think every man should travel. I think EVERY man should consider seeking out female companionship from women that weren’t born and raised in America, even if you eventually end up back with an American woman. I think challenging yourself by perhaps learning a new language is beneficial. Not everyone is cut out for office/corporate culture and the positions available within it. No one suggests EVERYONE pick up a guitar and be a struggling artist (first off, you’d need some actual talent to consider that), but for those that are truly unhappy with an office job, maybe they should re-evaluate how they’re living their lives. Just like not everyone is cut out for college. Some go to a trade school instead. Others go into the military and get a career there. Others start businesses, or drop out of college and start one. The non-traditional path is more suitable to some. Roosh tried the office path and found it didn’t suit him, so now he’s trying a different path that makes him more happy. Agree or disagree, at least he’s put himself out there and is actually LIVING. He’ll probably end up married and back in an office at some point again, but he will have done his thing before he settled down.

  38. InterestedParty November 19, 2010 at 6:34 pm


    I think a lot of people agree with Rooshv’s criticism of American culture. And a lot of us would love to do nothing but fly to foreign countries on report back on our adventures there.

    But not everybody can AFFORD to do this. It’s easy to talk about how his life is so much better for his happiness(and no one is disagreeing) when someone else is paying for it!

  39. ken_vb November 19, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    You’ve probably read Timothy Ferriss’ ‘4 Hour Work Week’ right? It’s kinda about the same stuff and the specifics of how to make it happen…

  40. Timothy November 20, 2010 at 11:27 am

    @40, I also don’t think we need to take months at a time to travel like Roosh does. The majority of us can’t or won’t do what’s necessary to be able to live that way. I don’t think we HAVE to take months off to travel. Take shorter trips to recharge yourself. Take one day, coupled with a holiday and a weekend attached. You’ll have a few days off, but only use one vacation day from work. A large part of Roosh’s motivation for his travels is to settle in someplace with the purpose of fucking local women wherever he is. I suggest men travel to experience new places, see sights, recharge your batteries, and if possible, get some pussy as a bonus. And from what I can tell, no one pays Roosh’s way. He put aside money from his former job, and hustles for the rest with his books and seminars, etc. Not having to pay rent helps, but it doesn’t fund travel. From what I tell from his writings, mom and dad don’t give him money.

  41. InterestedParty November 20, 2010 at 8:44 pm

    @41 Is there a chapter on moving in with your parents?

    @42 “Not having to pay rent helps, but it doesn’t fund travel”

    I disagree with that completely. It ABSOLUTELY funds his travel.

    If he had to pay rent, the money he uses for traveling overseas would instead have to be used to keep a roof over his head in the USA.

  42. Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: Redhead Appreciation Edition

  43. Anonymous November 21, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    sounds like interestedParty is a little whiny bitch who is jealous of Roosh’s lifestyle. Rooshe DOES work. he has founded his own website that gets a pretty heavy amount of internet traffic and written several books that many people have bought.

    guess what? HE MAKES MONEY OFF OF THIS. he has figured out a system where he writes down his own opinions AND PEOPLE PAY MONEY FOR THEM.

    he doesnt work a shitty desk job with a douchebag boss (unlike interestedParty, judging by his angry and jealous tones) but has figured out to have freedom his own way.

    and what is innately wrong about crashing at your parents house? they probably actually like having their son around/ spending quality time with him. it is not shameful but rather honorable for a family to live together in many parts of the world throughout history. it is a modern development that we think we all need to abandon our family and go our on our own. why do you think so many people are lonely and depressed in the US and other similar countries.

    if roosh was sitting on his ass eating pizza and smoking pot all day, mooching off his parents, than by all means, critisize his lifestyle. but in reality, he is living a lifestyle that most men fantasize about. stop being a jealous bitch and go out and make your own life worth living.

  44. andrew November 22, 2010 at 1:48 am

    @Timothy, man everybody is on Roosh’s side here. I guess some of you have done bootcamps with him. I am not against him being independent or unconventional of finding his own path. But he is basically implying anybody working a traditional job is an unthinking monkey jumping through society’s hoops to keep up with the jones’s. As a guy who obviously sees himself as very intelligent(Roosh), I think you gotta be careful making generalizations. I don’t work right now in an office to keep up with what my peers are doing. I work in international business in an office setting because I like to work/be productive/make a difference and I see it as giving me some skills/knowledge I’ll need down the road to start my own businesss maybe and the company may pay for my MBA. Also, I don’t really think his stereotype of westerner’s is always accurate. I get it though, a lot of it is satirical and sarcastic in nature. But still I think he’s off in some of his analysis and tends to present a one sided/pessismistic view of things in the USA and paints a more one sided/positive view of things in other cultures. It seems like Roosh definitely is an opposite guy. Whatever is popular he will try to bash for rebellion’s sake. Heck, the two South Park guys were interviewed and said they have the same syndrome. If they see something is overly popular in culture than are automatically repelled from it. I get it, the contempt for overexposue and group think. Roosh is ok with me, i just have some bones to pick with him that’s all. Also, I think it’s comical how little he tries to hide his contempt for a majority of women and his general smugness. Smugness is a double edged sword, people are attracted to and silmultaneously repelled from it. I guess I would like to see Roosh not view women as such objects and to try and teach the skills without the condecension.

  45. andrew November 22, 2010 at 3:37 am

    I also think Roosh enjoys all of this attention and the controversy, he seems himself as a rebel and it grows his ego which is already quite large as he sees himself as more intelligent than most people and above women. I just don’t like arrogant people. Do I know for sure? No, but it doesn’t take a Sherlock Holmes to gather his general attitude. Whatever, I just take what I need from the site and am on my own path.

  46. andrew November 22, 2010 at 3:44 am

    The funny thing is that because I am pretty damn intelligent and perceptive myself I am very confident in my own opinion and know it’s based on a pretty solid understanding. Anyways, I am here to help everyone on their own journeys, I encourage you all to become the best men you can and to learn about social interactions. Take from this site the good practical tips.

    Here are some lyrics to inspire you, good song-“No love”-Eminem

    I’m alive again
    More alive than I have been in my whole entire life
    I can see these people’s ears perk up as I begin
    To spaz with the pen, I’m a little bit sicker than most
    Sh-t’s finna get thick again
    They say the competition is stiff
    But I get a hard dick from this sh-t, now stick it in
    I ain’t never giving in again
    caution to the wind, complete freedom

  47. pantalones January 15, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    Is it too late for a man in his mid 40s who wishes to turn back the pimp slapping hands of time,and apply what your generation has taught me? OR,is it truly too late like society, and the media keeps telling me?

  48. Necrophaggiest September 2, 2015 at 8:58 am

    “We can’t fight the genetics that nature has given us, which says that we need to mate with fit members of our species.”

    Says who?

    “It is undeniable that a man is most happy when he’s sexually active.”

    Is it, now?

    I’m not debating the pleasure of sexual activity with other people in itself. However, I think that *if you go about it the wrong way*, it could bring just as many problems as, or even more than, the benefits gained from it. From such a standpoint, a person (regardless of gender) may choose to opt-out on fucking and in doing so be more content with life, even happier, than otherwise.

    I’m not a Christian, a Buddhist, a feminist, a “red pill” advocate, an “internet troll” or whatever. I’m just a guy recognizing the negative issues arising from my own sex life, those of my peers and those of people (mostly, but not limited to, Western folks) in general: the emotional issues, the uncertainties, the STDs and the unwanted pregnancies.

    It seems to me that some of the traditional cultures of the world (*) were right about this, in particular, all along, and I loosely interpret them like so: first of all, decide for yourself if living with another person, just one person, and making and raising a kid with them, is suitable to *you*. Then, similarly, consider the environment you’re in. Find someone you like and get to know him or her. Then, if you find that you’re compatible with this other person, get married, and THEN you can have sex, recreationally *and* with the intent to make a child — you shouldn’t really have the one without the other, i.e. the pleasure without the eventual child-raising, or the other way around.

    (*) I don’t know exactly which ones, but it’s sort of beside the point. Christianity (of the European variety?) would be one of them, I think.

    TL;DR “Guys need to have sex with girls to be happy” — can you, Roosh, or really anyone reading this, back this up with peer-reviewed scientific articles? I’m serious. I’m not asking this with hostility: I could be assuming that there are no such articles, believing (like a moron) that would give more validity to my ideas, but I’m not, and I don’t write this to “win anyone over to my side”, because there is no “side”, or “camp” (not at the time of writing, anyway). I just have some ideas, and I’m ambiguous about them, and seemingly the only other people *around me* that have similar ideas are religious and, well, “nutty” (to varying degrees).