The Hot Vagina

“It’s too hot,” Lucas said to his mother, turning his head away from the food.

“But sweetie, how do you know it’s hot or not? You haven’t even tried it.”

“Because I know!” Lucas threw down his fork in anger. Though he was a well-behaved 6-year-old boy, he was prone to tantrums like most kids his age.

It was around this time that Lucas’ parents began to notice their son’s hyper-awareness of temperature. He seemed to know if an object was hot or cold simply by looking at it. If the bath water was too cold, he would tell his mother without touching a drop. If his parents put on a heavy coat in the morning before heading out to work, he would tell them something lighter would be better, without going outside or listening to the weather report. He somehow had the ability to measure temperature with only his eyes.

Worried, Lucas’ parents took him to several doctors, but none found anything wrong. No treatment could be prescribed. One university professor ran some tests in two rooms divided by a plate-glass window to confirm that Lucas had a gift possessed by no other living human. He was seen as somewhat of a curious oddity in the scientific journals, even appearing on the local news under the headline “The local boy with the super power,” but since his power didn’t affect his outward appearance or his behavior, he had a normal life like anyone else.

Lucas saw temperature in a similar way to how normal humans view topographical maps—in lines. The hotter the object, the more lines he would see wrapping around an object, undulating and moving according to the object’s changing temperature. To hone his super sense, Lucas decided to do an instrument calibration, with the instrument being his brain. When he was 18, he would stare at pots of boiled water to memorize its signature pattern for the 100º C reading. He stared at ice cubes, freezers, ovens, rivers, light bulbs, and electronic equipment. He even sat on the side of a joggers trail to note heat patterns among people undergoing exercise. By the time he was 22, fresh out of college, Lucas was just as accurate as a thermometer in determining temperature to within a range of 0.15º C. A cool party trick, for sure, but it was only most useful when he would cook hamburgers and want to know when the patties were done.

Once he satisfied his parents by getting a respectable college degree and a job, Lucas could now focus on something that had been nagging him for years: his virginity. It was carefully preserved like a dinosaur fossil during the four years he was surrounded by young women on campus. Like most men who believed the cultural propaganda of the time, Lucas was sure that he could friend his way into a woman’s pants. Disappointingly, it never happened.

He first tried his hand in the city’s nightclubs, but was overwhelmed at the noise and crowd. It didn’t help that his lack of killer instinct meant thirstier guys were rapidly approaching girls before he could gather the temporary courage to do so. He sat back instead and observed the environment, especially the temperature signals given off by the party goers. Men in heat actually displayed heat, mostly around their armpits, lower back, and forehead. Their heat signal would steadily go up when talking to a girl and then cool back down after she withdrew. The women seemed ice cold to Lucas, with no discernible heat pattern, until he changed his sensory focus from their main body parts directly to their vaginas. What he noticed was fascinating.

At rest, most girls have arctic vaginas, but when engaged in a conversation with a man, the vagina becomes extraordinarily sensitive to bits of speech. It would jump by over 3 degrees with no obvious charge in its owner’s demeanor and body language, and then, after the man said something retarded, instantly cool back down. Lucas could see the large physiological changes happening inside these girls, but to any bystander it seemed like nothing was happening when actually the girl was experiencing volcanic activity within her vaginal organ.

A common pattern Lucas noticed was that men would start off strong, eliciting copious vaginal heat, but then lose momentum and run out of heat-forming game until the girl said something to the effect of, “It was nice talking to you but I have to go back to my friends now.” Lucas was ecstatic because he finally stumbled on a way to use his superpower for personal gain. It was time for him to get laid.

Lucas started by testing out opening lines. He delivered the line to a girl then casually glanced at her vagina to note any temperature change. After weeks of work, he found a line that consistently generated the most amount of vaginal heat. Then he tested a variety of follow-up conversational pieces and measured the vaginal response to each one. He repeated this process over the course of 500 approaches to develop a club routine that consistently generated sustained vaginal heating. He learned that once the vagina’s maximum temperature was attained, no further words or moves could further improve the seduction. Only a maintenance protocol of touching, deep eye contact, and dancing was needed. In fact, it was better to limit talking at that point so as not to disturb the heated vagina. He theorized that a hot vagina is like the sun when sufficiently turned on, generating additional heat from its own core. As long as the girl’s friends weren’t cockblocking, all that was left was to venue change to either his apartment or hers. It’s through this laborious process that Lucas lost his virginity.

His routine wasn’t foolproof: some girls had vaginas that remained in a stubborn state of deep freeze, but he was able to take a girl home for fornication about one out of every two nights. Within a year of losing his virginity, he racked up 56 notches. He was immensely pleased at his newfound sexual success.

During his experimentation, Lucas learned several interesting facts about female psychology. First, girls hated direct questions. Nothing chilled the vagina more than asking them about their job or name. At the same time, they loved it when Lucas evaded their questions by giving strange or aloof answers. They loved guessing games and cold reads. They loved touches on their upper bicep more than their forearm. They absolutely hated when Lucas complimented their beauty, but loved compliments on their intelligence or wittiness. They loved cocky statements that were both funny and sexual in nature. They hated talk about money, but got turned on when they caught signs of wealth like a thick wad of cash or a BMW key chain.

Lucas internalized all the correct actions and behaviors of an attractive man to the point where he only had to do one or two temperature readings during a long conversation to simply confirm he was on the right track. There were two girls he had sex with where he didn’t even take a single temperature reading, mimicking what normal guys had to do.

Before Lucas started using vaginal temperature to get laid, he had the working assumption that all women were essentially the same, and that their vaginas would respond to his precise routines in the same way. This turned out to be far from the case. There was so much variation that Lucas got rejected a surprisingly high number of times, even when using his optimized game. What he came to understand was that each type of girl required a specific funnel for him to get laid, and that he had stumbled on only one such funnel that applied to chirpy post-college American girls who liked to party two or three times a week. This realization was clear to him in a bar when he tried his game on a fresh-off-the-boat Russian girl named Galina.

He was turned on by Galina because she looked so different than all the other girls he took to bed. She had a petite construction with creamy white skin and plain black hair that reached her lower back. Her eyes were pale blue and her mouth large. Her nose curled into an elegant hook if viewed from the side. The frown she seemed to wear suggested rudeness, but it was more from anxiety due to being so far away from her motherland. If inspected separately, her features would suggest a rather disagreeable sight, but they mixed well to form an unassuming Slavic beauty that excited Lucas.

When Lucas attempted to talk to her at the bar, her vagina did not respond at all. He tried all his greatest hits, but still nothing, and for a second Lucas thought she was deaf.

“Do you understand English?” Lucas asked.

“Yes.” Her mouth barely moved.

“Maybe… I’m… talking… too… fast.”

“Whether you talk fast or slow, I can understand you just fine. I studied English in university for several years.”

Flustered, Lucas peppered her with questions. What city are you from? What are you doing in America? How long are you staying here? What did you study in school? He was going against the rules he had learned. When he realized this, he glanced at her vagina and it showed the temperature pattern of a tall glass of iced tea. Efforts to spin her around in the salsa style, a reliable heat maker, utterly failed.

“Why did you do that?” Galina asked. “You don’t have to pretend you’re having fun. Just be normal.”

Her responses were too foreign for him. He didn’t know the optimized answers he could give because he never interacted with enough girls like Galina to know what to do. He was too far off the track from the one game he knew could work, and it had been months since he had experimented with new material, so he froze, unable to conjure up anything in the way of conversation. Galina slid away from him and joined her group of au pairs on the dance floor.

Lucas felt like a fool. He had absolutely nothing to offer Galina in spite of all his previous success. His superpower made no difference. He became depressed at the thought that men who didn’t have his power were able to sleep with Galina while all he got from his efforts was a painful reprimand.

He stayed away from the clubs for several weeks, frustrated at the thought that no matter how much of an advantage he had with his power, more girls like Galina would inevitably slip through his grasp. He believed he shouldn’t have to develop a game for all the different types of girls in existence that he may one day like. It should not only be easy, thanks to his amazing gift, but get easier. He shouldn’t have to put in more work now than when he was a virgin who didn’t even know what a vagina looked like.

His ensuing slump led to months of no sex, leading to much discomfort, anxiety, and horniness. He needed something quick and easy, so he decided to go back to his favorite club to find a bubbly American girl he could lay with his old funnel. He stood by the ladies restroom and checked out the prospects available to him. One girl in particular startled Lucas because her vagina seemed to be in a state of pre-heatedness.

He followed her into the main dance hall, fully expecting to find her with a man who was the cause of said heat, but she stood with only two girlfriends. Lucas had seen pre-heated vaginas before, but not at the high temperature he was witnessing at the moment. He started to get excited at the chance of a lay that would take minimal effort.

Lucas approached the girl with his standard funnel and sure enough she responded favorably. It wasn’t even one hour after they met that she was on his bed. The sex was quite good, which Lucas attributed to her impulsive personality, further confirmed by her random body piercings and tattoos, not to mention a ribbon of pink hair that was swept across her temple. She was so ravenous for his penis that she pushed him to rounds two, three, and even four. Condoms were jettisoned somewhere in the middle of their sexual feast, and when it was all done, Lucas made sure to get her number for a future meeting. He didn’t mind having a little nymph in his rotation.

Two days later, with his sex afterglow on the wane, Lucas stepped into a popular burger chain for lunch. While eating, he wondered if his first text should be cocky or plain. Texting had always been the hardest part of the game for him because it was impossible to see the vaginal temperature changes in his recipients.

He decided to play it safe and ask how her week was going. After he clicked send, he placed his phone on the table and felt a strange sensation in his crotch. He ignored the feeling, thinking it was his imagination, but by the time he was done with his bacon cheeseburger, he couldn’t ignore what felt like shooting pains of heat coming straight out of his penis hole. He looked down at his crotch and saw the exact same heat pattern as in the nymph’s pre-heated vagina.

Previous Story: The Successful Gypsy


  1. Pete M August 20, 2014 at 9:40 am

    This was excellent. Did not see that ending coming. Well done.

    1. asdsada August 20, 2014 at 11:45 am

      Words can`t even describe

      1. CSM-1000 August 21, 2014 at 6:13 pm

        LOL, great movie. You guys should really give it a go one particularly drunk Saturday night.

  2. seth datta August 20, 2014 at 10:08 am

    Girls with tats and dyed hair can be attractive and hot, but usually are not these days. I see too much green hair, odd placed piercings and poorly dressed women: i did not see this ten years ago. I mean, for some guys, you have to be attrcated to and like the women you sleep with. So what do you do when you are surrounded by dog faces, fatties, and women who dress like shit? For me, at least the women who dress like shit have attractive bodies, but it doesnt help that their style of dress makes them look like a complete degenerate and is unattractive. Whilst you are interested, you are also trying to fight the urge to leave. the only thing that is keeping you there is the prospect of sex, which is all most women have to offer these days.

    Women fought hard for feminism, and it worked awhile because there was cash and male support for it. What does the future hold – and it wont be a future where we get a reset back to better and balanced norms. nowadays the real alpha male is a pussy beggar with low standards. As long as you get laid with ok or even substandard girls on someone else’s dime as long as society lasts like this, youre getting a sexual profit with minimal to no investment. the problem is, such behaviour does not make women want to improve themselves (or men), so it will just get worse and worse with regards to how low women’s looks can go and how high their expectations can be. I see men who are 7s and 8s like ALL THE TIME with women who are 2s and 3s physically.

    1. seth datta August 20, 2014 at 10:18 am

      Never mind the other fuckedupness of western society, its deprssing when ten years ago. i would see hot and cute, more feminine girls all the time, and now i go into a city and see that the quality and quantity of hot and cute women has gone down drastically. I mean, some guys have limits to looks/personality(dont be a cunt) to what they can sleep with, and the guys who have no limits to how low they will go in terms of pussy begging, looks and the like will drive down the quality and quantity of poosey for everybody else.

      Brings up many questions. Is a guy who fucks fatties worse than a gay when it comes to destroying society? Can people be mad at gays for noet having kids/whatever, when heterosexual promiscuity is worse, and gays are a symptom and not the problem? If Im already seeing hot guys with fatties in relationships, how bad does it get and what will women cone to expect even five years from now? Seeing as individuality and culture is being erased from western society, with men becoming women and women men, does it become an aesexual society? What is the final solution for men who acknowledge these problems and know society cannot be changed for the better, seeing as many foreign places are heading this way and that working for money is a short term solution that empowers most of all the cabal that is likely causing this in the first place?

      1. U S. Open Sores August 20, 2014 at 10:33 am

        Seth interesting thoughts. What country do you hail from?

      2. seth datta August 20, 2014 at 9:10 pm

        Disunited Kingdom

      3. U S. Open Sores August 20, 2014 at 10:37 am

        “Brings up many questions. Is a guy who fucks fatties worse than a gay when it comes to destroying society?”

        Hilarious question, as well a good philosophical one

      4. 'Reality' Doug August 20, 2014 at 12:08 pm

        If a guy does not get his needs met, how does he survive with his civilized excellence intact to improve/create society at the turning point of elbow room, at the SHTF time? Nature has a way that we must follow. I’m just asking which comes first, the chicken or the egg? I think there is wisdom in the maxim “bros before hoes.”

      5. U S. Open Sores August 20, 2014 at 5:24 pm

        “or the egg? I think there is wisdom in the maxim “bros before hoes”

        Agreed. Also “dignity before fucking fatties or old hags”

    2. Eric August 20, 2014 at 12:22 pm

      Sounds like you live in Portland or Seattle- am I right?

      1. seth datta August 20, 2014 at 9:11 pm

        UK, which I think is worse than the states for liberty, women and freedom of speech.

      2. TyKo Steamboat August 21, 2014 at 1:14 am

        In my mind, Hell is a crowded elevator that is stuck in place full of women that are slightly more unattractive than the women of the UK & they also talk slightly more too if that’s possible.

  3. anon August 20, 2014 at 10:25 am

    The nymph’s vagina was infected with a STD – I’m assuming a bacterial yeast, or some other UTI.
    Lucas caught it while fucking her raw. No wonder his penis was beginning to burn.
    Moral of the story: Never raw dog sluts, and an easy lay can sometimes be the most expensive.

    1. U S. Open Sores August 20, 2014 at 10:31 am

      What Anon said

      1. bob August 20, 2014 at 6:42 pm

        it says condoms were used.

      2. anon August 20, 2014 at 9:07 pm

        Condoms were jettisoned somewhere in the middle of their sexual feast

        transitive verb
        : to make jettison of
        : to get rid of as superfluous or encumbering : omit or forgo as part of a plan or as the result of some other decision (must be prepared to jettison many romantic notions — Christopher Catling)

      3. pouya August 20, 2014 at 9:15 pm

        jettisoned across the room at some point

  4. asdsada August 20, 2014 at 11:42 am

    I enjoyed that so much. Great story Roosh.
    This reminds me of the roundabout way the bible is written. Seemingly outlandish, but all there to teach important lessons.
    Some people will get so caught up on the fact that `guys can`t see heat from vaginas`that they miss the lesson entirely. The same way some guys get so caught up with `talking snakes don`t exist` that they miss the whole point of the story

  5. Myles August 20, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    So Roosh…
    In light of the big video you dropped yesterday, what places still have the best girls left in Europe?

    Does. Czechoslovakia have decent women or are they lower quality like the UK?

    1. TyKo Steamboat August 21, 2014 at 1:07 am

      Considering that the Czech Republic & Slovakia are 2 totally different places, i’d do some research elsewhere first then continue on with the novice questions later. (side note:…there is no quality lower than the UK.)

  6. Awesome Possum August 20, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    Love your long “short stories” Roosh, thanks for posting, look forward to more.

  7. Senior Beta August 20, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    Roosh, you have spent WAY too much time in cold climes. You need to head to the PI. Great story.

  8. David August 20, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    lol. The horrifying moral comeuppance at the end reminded me of the way Vladimir Nabokov always has his characters suffer terribly and irreversibly. Maybe there’s something in the Eastern European air that fosters fatalistic morality tales.

  9. Buddy Orion August 20, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    Lol that was pretty funny, not sure I see the point haha.

    1. Tom Dane August 21, 2014 at 7:37 am

      The point is you spent your youth learning to read pussy temperatures (game), forget how to interact with real people (Golina) and in the end it destroys you (STD etc).

  10. Tom Dane August 20, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    Good good stuff..

    “Why did you do that?” Galina asked. “You don’t have to pretend you’re having fun. Just be normal.”

    Foreign womens response to Clown Game. Or should I say, any sane persons response to it..

    1. MajorStyles August 24, 2014 at 12:28 pm

      Bingo. You put in more work (Clown Game) and the reward is shit (obnoxious Western woman indoctrinated in feminism).
      Better to put your work into self improvement or expatriation.

  11. Roger Daily August 20, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    Was her name Zoe?

  12. Tanner August 21, 2014 at 4:57 am

    Hey Roosh
    Lets see some pics of local girls in EE and some updated data sheets.

    A piece on midgame seduction ramble like the cube or strawberry fields and the farmer and fence in Bang would add value to red pill game students.

  13. Dylan August 21, 2014 at 6:45 am

    hahaha perfect

  14. Guest August 21, 2014 at 7:47 am

    I nominate this for the Bad Sex in Fiction Award. It deftly fails on multiple levels.

    1. Roosh_V August 22, 2014 at 6:38 am

      Female spotted.

      1. Guest August 22, 2014 at 7:49 am

        Nope. You’re just not a particularly skilled or interesting writer. But if labeling me a female helps you believe the tripe your groupthink fanboys feed you, have at it!

      2. Roosh_V August 24, 2014 at 10:33 am

        Doesn’t matter, you still read the whole thing. See you on Monday 9am for my next post.

      3. GetItGoing August 25, 2014 at 11:23 pm

        I’m reminded of the classic lines often touted by radio talk show callers who often called to passionately tell the host how much they despise him.

        And yet, they would not stop listening, despite all claims to the contary.


  15. KL August 21, 2014 at 9:52 am

    “penis hole”. You mean urethra?

    1. anon October 13, 2014 at 8:17 pm


      Urethra refers to the entire duct or canal. Hence, ‘penis hole’ is more correct and to-the-point than ‘urethra’.

      urethra. noun. Anatomy


      the membranous tube that extends from the urinary bladder to the exterior and that in the male conveys semen as well as urine.

  16. giulio August 21, 2014 at 11:30 am

    I may be missing the point. Who helps me?

  17. jayjay August 21, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    Is it an STD or is it more allegorical than that? He himself has become a female…caring about what texts to send out ect??

    1. anon October 13, 2014 at 8:19 pm

      ahhh…. I missed that, jayjay. Good catch.

      That’s some AP English Lit-style close reading.

  18. A girl August 21, 2014 at 6:39 pm

    Roosh has so much too offer, but is so screwed up. As a woman, it makes me very sad. Especially because there are not enough decent men on this planet. I need a man who is intelligent, kind and somewhat attractive. But every guy I meet only meets two out of these three criteria. The golden triangle I have not been able to find just yet. 🙁

    1. Roosh_V August 22, 2014 at 6:37 am


      1. A girl August 22, 2014 at 6:49 am

        You are a great writer and good-looking. I am not here to offend you. But you lack the most important quality, a good heart. Instead you keep promotiong misogyny and attract people full of hate and anger to your blog. Just like every group of people who decided to bash on another group of people, you guys make it all black and white and leave no room for mutual understanding. This is extremely dangerous, as history has proven again and again. But I know, you don’t care. You probably don’t even understand.
        Sad thing is, you will keep doing what you do, because you are cute, intelligent and have an income to support your way of living. It will take a long time until life forces you to seek a different direction and question the hateful opinions you have been spreading.

      2. Guest August 22, 2014 at 7:59 am

        Don’t make it more complicated than it is. Roosh is a person who never developed social skills in a normal way. He was one of those children who got bullied, and didn’t lose his virginity until he was 22 or so.
        So, his personality is based on anger at the world (ie always trying to fill a void), and a lack of social skills.
        Most people like that have or develop serious psychological or psychiatric issues – i.e. compulsive behavior, addiction, depression, lack of empathy, etc.

      3. J Taco August 22, 2014 at 2:43 pm

        Serious psychological issues…? Or successful coping mechanisms? Who defines what is The characters you watch on tv?

      4. FrillArtist August 23, 2014 at 11:13 am

        Ahhh….the double edged troll. Start off with a compliment then follow up with your criticisms. It’s a nice tactic employed by trolls who don’t want to be confronted up front but still want to get their points across. Nice try.

      5. ChimpGod September 5, 2014 at 1:15 pm

        Haters gonna hate.. So you are saying he is good looking, intelligent, and has a good income that supports the kind of life he wants? Sounds fucking terrible.. God.. what kind of guy enjoys his freedom, in all things? You know what? I think it would be better to just go off and get married Roosh. Look.. Spend your check on some nagging, greedy ass hoe, who will spend you guys into debt.. the stress will cause you to gain 50 pounds and lose your hair, along with the shit head kids she will slide out of her worn out vagina.. man.. that sounds so much better than banging hot Slavic chicks.. Get the fuck out of here.

  19. sandman/toeknee August 22, 2014 at 4:33 am

    Roosh, I loved this story; I loved the science aspect of synesthesia, obviously the game/travel stuff, and the imagery of him perceiving heat sgnals as topographic lines ( you should think about getting someone to do artsy illustrations for you) i like the microbio angle of the infection generating heat; i think you have really hit your stride; strong work; i would pay good money for these types of short stories, the roma brothers story was also awesome

  20. sandman/toeknee August 22, 2014 at 4:34 am

    I think the intersection of game and science is a winner for you and your writing talents

  21. anon1 August 23, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Roosh are you telling us you have an STD from banging an american chick?


    Jokes aside, great short story with a few lessons thrown in as well

  22. guest August 24, 2014 at 11:10 am

    best read by far

  23. Thin-Skinned Masta-Beta August 26, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    Could there possibly be more truth in fiction?

    More please.

  24. Illusion August 27, 2014 at 11:25 am

    I don’t understand the nding …

    1. cheshirecat August 27, 2014 at 6:54 pm

      Three letters…S T D

  25. Hans August 27, 2014 at 11:51 pm

    Can some1 explain the ending to me? I don’t get it.

  26. Hans August 28, 2014 at 4:28 am


  27. LeanandConfused September 7, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    “The sex was quite good, which Lucas attributed to her impulsive personality, further confirmed by her random body piercings and tattoos, not to mention a ribbon of pink hair that was swept across her temple. She was so ravenous for his penis that she pushed him to rounds two, three, and even four.”

    Was her nympho behavior due to her being infected with STD?

  28. SlickyBoy January 12, 2015 at 11:42 am


  29. Userrx99 January 16, 2016 at 12:20 am

    Beautifully written, amazing story.