The “I Have Standards” Excuse

If a man says, “I have standards,” I guarantee that not only does he fuck few girls, but the ones he does are no prize. You’d think it’d be the opposite, that a man with “standards” would be fucking model quality all the time, but it’s never the case. He fucks average-looking chicks and then rationalizes it by saying things such as “She has a good job” or “She’s not a slut.” A man who harps about standards is using that as an excuse for a poor sex life.

The quality of girls you fuck fit a standard bell curve. For me the meatiest part of the curve would be around 7, meaning that’s my typical lay. Some high 5s and high 8s may get squeezed in, but it’s reliably centered around a 7. When I first started in the game, the meatiest part of my curve was lower, closer to a 5. With tighter game, my average shifted to the right.

If I went out right now and said to myself, “I have standards; I’m only fucking 8s,” then what would happen is I’d get laid less with no guarantee of fucking more 8s, especially since they are in short supply. It would be like an unemployed man refusing to accept jobs “beneath” him in a tough job market. As you know, it’s much easier to get a job when you already have one, so putting yourself through a cold spell because of your ego actually prevents you from getting what you wanted in the first place.

I believe in having flexible standards. When I go into any environment, whether it’s a new city, bar, or shopping mall, I quickly evaluate the talent. What is the average beauty present? I then adjust my standards based on what the environment is giving me, starting at the top and then working my way down. At the bar I identify the top two or three girls I want and go about making those approaches. If it hits with them then great, but if not I lower my sights so that I still get laid. If the 8s don’t bite I move to the 7s. If the 7s don’t bite then it’s on to the 6s. If the 6s don’t bite then I go to the 5s to see if they are capable of giving me a boner. This process ensures that on any night I get the best that’s coming to me while still getting laid in quality-poor environments like Washington DC or Copenhagen. In theory, with relative standards I should be getting laid the same amount anywhere I go.

Sometimes I hear a man say something like, “I rather not get laid than fuck an ugly girl.” He doesn’t understand how the bell curve works. He doesn’t understand that no man is fucking only hot girls, that they only sneak in every now and then. To fuck hot girls, you must fuck lesser girls to properly play the bell curve game. I’m fucked hotter girls than most men, but I’ve fucked some hogs as well. I’ve fucked them all.

Guys who claim high standards are no different from entitled American broads who post Craigslist ads listing a grocery list of positive qualities they desire. As you already know, it’s unreasonable to think that your dream girl will be served to you on a silver platter. You have to sift through a lot of stiff avocados until you find the dark ripe one in the back of the bin. What’s great about the sifting process with women is that fucking is fun. Even those hogs I banged gave me my nut for the night and a funny story to tell my friends. There was no opportunity cost because I only went after them when I knew I couldn’t do better for that night. Sure, a tiny part of my soul cried in exchange for those notches, but my dick gave me a double high five. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t change anything.

You can’t go from not getting laid to fucking hot girls without accumulating a lot of sexual experience that comes from banging girls who aren’t as hot. Having high standards rob you of that experience, ironically forcing you to date uglier girls for even longer had you not eliminated your ego from the start. Understand that lowering your standards is a temporary cure-all to whatever game or sex problem you’re facing, whether it’s in the approach, flaking, getting numbers, or sealing the deal. As long as the girl passes your boner test, and you didn’t get anywhere with the hotter girls in the room, you should get with what you can. Fuck that hog and keep fucking them, until the day arrives when you’re done putting in your dues and don’t remember the last time you banged one.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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Tampa
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This right here is damn funny:

“What’s great about the sifting process with women is that fucking is fun. Even those hogs I banged gave me my nut for the night and a funny story to tell my friends. There was no opportunity cost because I only went after them when I knew I couldn’t do better for that night. Sure, a tiny part of my soul cried in exchange for those notches, but my dick gave me a double high five. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t change anything.”

Bob
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What’s your take on fat girls?

Bronan the Barbarian!
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I’ve made the same observation. The friends who claim the “standards” excuse are rationalizing an inability to get laid.

Guys will often hurl “I have standards” as an insult as well. My roommate is fond of using this as a weapon when I bring home a new girl.

He bangs a mid-to-high 5 single mother.

nguyenimproved
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i don’t like it when people repost quotes from an article but!
this bit of anthropomorphism is magic:

“…my dick gave me a double high five”.

so much funnier that a normal high five.

ps good article. guys that palm off roosh’s achievements are just envious and try to justify it with crappy excuses like that.

FunBoyhehe
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I think the situation was different maybe 10 years ago. We have had great quality streaming free porn for quite some time now, and a good wank with that beats sex with a hog. Moreover I may as well just hire a pro if I cannot pull in any given night and it is easy to find a 7-8 in that demographic.

Anonymous
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Sounds like justification to me. You should watch the film Shame by Steve McQueen.

Sorry to be blunt but I kinda think you are heading that way.

keepgoin
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“I’ve fucked them all”

That’s our Rooshy! smile

Nick Nailer
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I’ve been preaching about getting a hog harem to guys new to game for years. First you get a couple hogs and then upgrade. All these computer console players talk alot of smack but in the end, they’re not getting ANY.

Timothy
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This is the kind of honesty dudes need to hear. Everyone likes to brag about all the hot bitches they’re hitting, but we ALL have a few we DON’T want anyone to know we hit, or some cute but average chicks we wouldn’t mind being seen with, but aren’t special. Now you don’t wanna go a hoggin’ EVERY night, but I’ve always recommended banging mediocre chicks if that’s what you can get, because it helps you work on your technique. When you land that 8+, your shit will be TIGHT.

yep
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yep
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True. I got my 7s and one 8.5 after hours of hard work doggying hogs

LOL
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LOL
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How to Treat Women in Latvia. Have a blast!

http://www.ehow.com/how_2228469_treat-women-latvia.html

slobert
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I think you have to fuck 5s sometimes just to keep that sexual energy up, women sense it. Im not always fucking the hottest girls but my dick is happy and I have that confident stride in my step almost everyday, it makes it way easier to approach women.

Solo
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Brilliant post roosh, this is some real ass shit, just when it looks like you about to fall of. You bring that “ether”. Lot of my white homies give me shit for liking “curvy” women i.e. christina hendricks, ,melyssa ford. And talk “standards” all day. But @ the end of the night their hollaring at anything. Roosh keeps it realer then most. This is why roosh is my “nigga” and good with the “BBC” crew

Epic post!

Rollo Tomassi
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The guy who claim standards is the same one who’ll tell you only “low quality skanks are found in clubs and bars” so he recuses himself from risking what he either fears or know is certain rejection for him.

Girl who meets standard = girl who would fuck him.
Substandard girl = any girl who wouldn’t fuck him.

It’s a self-affirming cycle.

virgle Kent
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I’ve said it before, “Pussy gets Pussy”

Anonymous
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An average guy saying “I have standards” as an excuse for not getting laid is bullshit, but guys with game legitimately should be constantly seeking to raise their standards.

Krauser
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The Rawness had a few good posts on the psychology behind using overly high standards as an excuse for doing nothing

http://therawness.com/latest-planet-ill-post-up/

Solo
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I like Rollo’s way of thinking as well, he’s stated this on various blogs/forums that an LA “9” isn’t gonna be the same as a DC “9” and a DC “9” sure as hell isn’t gonna be the same as a Minneapolis “9”. This is why the curve is legit IMO. a DC “4” is a Minneapolis “6” and so on. You need factor in the environment your at. If there wasn’t a bell curve then maufuckas would be fucked in places like Idaho, Alaska and South Dakota etc

You dudes ever been to South Dakota? sure Fargo’s got the college chicks but besides that, your fucked!

But agreed you should always go for the baddest(hottest) women period

highschool blackbutnotsuperblackkid
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Props as always. just wanted you to know that i’m 16 in highschool and fucking my fair share of females thanks to bang and this blog. It’s ten times easier for black guys to get black girls that are in highschool, so that’s where i think my success comes from but it also has a lot to do with what i’ve read and learned from this blog,
changing though, as always sooooo yeah thanks.

highschool blackbutnotsuperblackkid
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changing meaning my game

Odds
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You can’t eat filet mignon every night. Sometimes you have to eat Mcdonalds. – gene simmons

anon
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I see it morel like requiring for the girl to be of a minimum level of attractiveness to me and if she falls under that then what’s the point?

Anon
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“Guys who claim high standards are no different from entitled American broads who post Craigslist ads listing a grocery list of positive qualities they desire.”

I have a suspicion that some of them are closet gays.

Roosh’s bell curve is exactly right. Walk into a decent bar and most likely there are a few super hotties, a some cute girls, many normal looking girls, some plain girls, and a few uglies. Most of your lays will come from the middle of that bell curve. Of course, some nice venues skew towards all super hotties and cute girl

SamBellamy
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I love this post. I have plenty of friend who use the high standards line to not do anything and any hog that shows them interest somehow gets elevated to a model 10. Roosh, I never understood why you advocated against “practicing” on ugly girls in the past LOL

Anonymous
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I agree with Virgle.Its a good way to get the ball rolling.
Too many names out there for it.”starter bitch”,”Bottom bitch”.Its all the same.

kel
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I disagree with most of you. There is something to be said for standards. The reason there are so many hogs is because so many men are thirsty and have no self control or discipline.

Do not fuck hogs. Go to any ‘hood in America and you will see a plethora of obese war pigs usually with brood in tow. Thirsty ass black dudes area actually impregnating these hogs….incredible.

Be a man. Maintain frame and standards. If enough men do, then the women will conform and step up their game. Just because it has a vagina doesnt mean you have to fuck it.

lurker
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I have standards. For longer-term relationships. They mostly depend on the girl’s personality.

Picking up sluts in bars? Sometimes we’re all tapping the ass-end of the bell curve.

Solo
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Kel got a point but its been like that for years, and with the tricking culture, (“it aint tricking if you got it, and I got it”) shit aint gonna change. I use to roll with this brother who was in the airforce. He would always talk high standards and what not. But he would never approach chicks cause “I got a girl”. No one ever saw her(I chilled with dude for over two years).

he would always hate on me or my friends who’d approach. The final straw was when i caught him making out a and I qutoe “4”, (according to him) I couldn’t fuck with the hypocrisy and the hate, and caught dude of.

Solo
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I mean “cut”

Dmizzle
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Roosh, I want to thank you for hitting the nail on the head here. This is one of my biggest issues preventing me from improving my game, and it seriously inhibits my approaches. I’m pretty much a wreck in SMV terms, but I’m trying to work on it(weight, live with parents, underage w/no fake, too much book intelligence). I didn’t realize just how much I was doing this until I read this post. Thanks.

Dmizzle
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and obviously as I said thanks twice pretty much beta as fuck, but I wish my dad had taught me some of this.

Timothy
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“Do not fuck hogs. Go to any ‘hood in America and you will see a plethora of obese war pigs usually with brood in tow. Thirsty ass black dudes area actually impregnating these hogs….incredible.” 27 Kel

…and you see the same shit in middle America and any lower-class white area. Don’t make it racial. You see fat chicks with kids from all racial demographics. If they weren’t already fat when they got broken off, they ended up fat and dudes continue to fuck them.

This thread isn’t about NOT having standards. Unless you’re a chubby-chasing fetishist, in your mind’s eye, straight dimes are EVERYONE’S standard. What we’re saying here is that many guys that go on and on about standards are really frontin’. They’re not hitting ALL dimes. They’re not necessarily breaking off pigs, but they’re not hitting exclusively dimes either. The point is, unless you’re steady girl is a dime, you’re not fucking dimes all the time. Dimes should be your goal, but that goal won’t be met most nights especially if you’re one of those guys that has a particular “type” he likes, and doesn’t find anything else attractive.

Brian
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Some so called standards are based on incorrect constructs such as, I unfortunately in high school had the standard that sex was for marriage only because this was the belief brainwashed into me from relatives and religion, then fortunately years later while learning about game I discovered that limiting belief was not correct and thus I was able to free myself from this previous standard. Kick out one standard and others fall away also.
Even in America, in some places like a mall or SoBe, there are still some attractive prospects.
The standards of many people/most of society are a form of Ant-Slut Defense (ASD) in how they falsely view themselves within the Madonna/Whore Complex plus how they will be viewed by others. To get over this the terms whore/slut can be reframed from bad into good as in any man or woman who naturally likes to have sex so these are good terms/it is who I am/I allow myself to be openly sexual/I approve of myself. Also, instead of standards just go by who you are attracted to in some way and don’t care if a girl you are attracted to does not meet the expectations/standards of others (a lower number to others might be a higher number to you).

Lord Rooshman
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Good post, Roosh.

Way too many guys hide behind the “I have standards” BS as an excuse not to approach women.

The only time standards should become an issue is if you are considering a girl for a girlfriend.

Y
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Hmmm… not sure about this.

I’ll approach all kinds, and I’m not saying I haven’t slummed it in the past… but it’s been a few years since I did that. For beginners I’d say yes, but if you have some experience, no.

I even felt bad after letting a girl that wasn’t up to my usual standard give me BJ.

I honestly rather spend time on my hobbies or with friends than bang a sub-standard.

Anonymous
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Hey this may be off topic but I couldnt resist.

if any of you that are in the states forgot what ever happens to these “trophy” wives or 9’s out here .this might be a reminder of how useless,most American women are.

Good choice on destination Roosh.Latvia is top shelf compared to American chicks anyday.Peace.

http://youtu.be/h-dE1X-0iWg

cookie
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cookie
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I do regret some sweaty hogs (mostly hooker like cougars) but they are quickly forgotten when I think of the all those sweet 6s and up smile

Ubermind
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I believe this depends fom mans libido.

When horny this article is spot on.

But when sex is not of primary importance and it is a status thing or for companionship or preselecton then standarts kick in.

Steve
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I think out of all the solid posts I’ve read on this site, this is the one I least agree with.

You have to understand that a woman’s prime value stems from her beauty – the hotter she is, the harder she is to have a meaningful relationship with. Why would a perfect 10 want to be with any average Joe? She’s a 10, she expects only the best for herself.

9’s and above are the types of girls that have worked hard to become that high so it only serves to reason that she will want a man of equal status. In other words, if you want a 9-10 you have to be a 10 in value.

No matter how much we might think our shit doesn’t stink, if our value isn’t demonstrated in some way without the need for game, then we will quickly be exposed as being full of shit.

9-10s aren’t interested in game. They want substance. This is something I’ve experienced personally. So if you’re out to get laid, then fair enough. But personally, game shouldn’t really be about that, but about learning to make yourself a more attractive person overall.

If a 9-10 isn’t showing interest, than it simply means you’re not attractive enough to get those types of girls. That should be something to take notice of.

Ra
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I realize your pool of targets goes down with imposing standards, but I have to think there’s a difference between “I have standards so I won’t approach any girls” and “I only want to bang girls more attractive than me and will approach every one I see even if I strike out most of the time.”

I’ve been following the latter sentiment and feel like I’m still improving even if I end up empty handed most days. I just don’t personally like the idea of risking STDs, pregnancy, false rape, etc on hogs. Nothing to do with self respect, lol. If none of those things were concerns I’d go to battle with the mightiest of war pigs when the situation demanded it.

OGNorCal707
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I think this is a great post, and it’s almost impeccable timing since recently it seems that a few people have been questioning the quality of women that Roosh bangs.

I appreciate his honesty and I guess it really is the truth behind the veneer of the PUA industry where a lot of guys tend to front like they only fuck 8+ women.

I remember reading “The Game”, and the part about how Mystery was loosing his head over this crazy russian chick (katya/?) who was supposedly a “solid ten”.

This is the same girl that ended up breaking up with Mystery, only to date his roomate “Herbal” (which was just a bitch move on everyones part). Anyways, I did a little youtube search for this chick, and there is no way in fuck that she was a 10, I’m thinking for LA she was a 7.5 at best. Point being, numerous times was she stated as being a “10”, which just goes to show how some lie, exaggerate, etc.

Now, my questions if Roosh or anyone else will so kindly reply to:

Do you start the night going for the most attractive women in a venue first and work your way down the ladder, or do you do a little warm up with girls you are moderately attracted to (6-7) and use that as “social proof” or a warm up, before stepping to the hotter women you really desire?

Also, I tend to agree that it’s better to bang a 6 than say, go home alone and yank to xhamster, and I have had my share of “5’s”, but nowadays I’m of the thinking that “5’s” should only be tapped when during desperate times (e.g. a bad dry spell). But on the flip side of that, one could argue that by dipping low and banging 5’s you keep your momentum going and don’t ever get into a “dry spell” in the first place. Thoughts, opinions?

Finally, I totally agree with VK about “pussy getting pussy”, as I’ve observed and experienced this first hand. However, women always notice and judge you based on the women you “keep comany with”, I believe Roosh may have even posted on this in the past…

So let’s say you live in a small town like me, or even a mid-sized one, you’re bound to see the same people all around town and at the same bars/venues. If you are seen on a weekly/monthly basis slumming it and hooking up with/taking home 5’s and 6’s from the local bars, it’s inevitable that other women are going to see this, and judge you based off of it. However, my good homie still insists that he thinks it’s better that you’re seen taking home 5’s, than constantly being alone and not getting anything.

Timothy
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“So let’s say you live in a small town like me, or even a mid-sized one, you’re bound to see the same people all around town and at the same bars/venues. If you are seen on a weekly/monthly basis slumming it and hooking up with/taking home 5′s and 6′s from the local bars, it’s inevitable that other women are going to see this, and judge you based off of it. However, my good homie still insists that he thinks it’s better that you’re seen taking home 5′s, than constantly being alone and not getting anything.”

The “fishbowl” argument is a valid one. That’s why you have those 5’s meet you somewhere – you don’t leave together…HA HA! The middle of the scale isn’t universal from man to man. We can probably get near unanimous agreement on the bottom of the scale. You could have a cute, chubby five with big titties. There’s no shame in leaving with her, even though she doesn’t qualify as optimal on your personal scale. If she can really fuck, and do all that nasty shit you like, that’s a GREAT night for you. I won’t knock a guy that rather jerk off than bang a chick like that, but don’t look down on cats that want to nut in a live body. And again, we’re questioning if guys REALLY stick to only fucking the top of the scale, or are they talking shit, but fucking around with the middle or towards the low end of the scale on the sly.

Solo
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OG THIS POST BASICALLY SUMS UP MY APPROACHING PARAMETER

http://thesoloist1.wordpress.com/2011/09/13/155s/

and not to hate on Mystery but your right Katya wasn’t a “10” well maybe a South Dakota “10”!

And I agree you don’t wanna be seen with bust downs that’s not @ a good luck. Hence It’s always good to keep a couple PYT’s (Pretty young things) in your social circle

Anonymous
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the central limit theorem says it all

Jesse James
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LOL sounds like you are doing the rationalizations here wink

IF you typically get 7s, I simply dont understand why you would sometimes settle for 5s. You should be able to get 7s on a fairly consistent basis, so you should not be starved for sex, and have no need to settle.

Your idea of the bell curve has nothing to say about this. A guy who regularly gets 7s simply has no need to settle – he can simply wait until the next 7 comes along. Settling for a 5 does not help him get a 7 the next time.

No man needs to get laid every night. If out of every 6 nights three nights I can get a 7, I see no reason to settle for a 5 the other 3 nights. Better to take those nights off and keep up my self-respect, which will ultimately help me.

Any advice that tells me to lower my ego and not care so much about my self-respect and lower my standards sounds very counterproductive and suspicious to me. It sounds more like a SACRIFICE of self-respect for short term hedonic pleasure, which will ultimately harm me and make me less likely to get with the 7s I want. It is the opposite of self-improvement.

But whatever works for you, so cheers. Just be honest that it is a sacrifice of ego for a short term hedonic effect, not some kind of self-betterment. No need to rationalize.

Eurotrash
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kel

I don’t think it’s a problem to slum it up with a fatty sometime; what I usually do is make it clear (sometimes quite bluntly) that this was just a nasty romp and that wouldn’t be caught with her in public. IMO more re-educating than ignoring completely. Sex is not very hard to get for just about any girl and thus they don’t value it. There are always tons of horny guys waiting to service her. Commitment, on the other hand, is something of a value to woman.

Torontokid
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Good post.

I think I need to lower my standards so I can bang some ugly chicks and upgrade later.

Brian
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As this post says, as long as she still passes your boner test. With too high standards of say 9’s only we would miss out on some great bangs. For instance, she might be a cute 6 or 7 but not a knock-out, she still turns you on so it would be worth it.
Even All-Stars strike-out(rejections)/hit some home-runs(9’s)/get a few triples(8’s)/get a bunch of doubles(7’s)/and get many singles(6’s and 5’s). If he swings his bat and doesn’t get a home-run, but he gets a base hit that is still good. Just because he’s an All-Star he’s not going to pass up getting on a base. A player goes out consistently and plays the game.

Anonymous
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beautiful. i agree 100% these posts are much better than your ‘third wave feminism is killing america’ propaganda?

Bo Ergu
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One way of falling into this trap is to land an outlier 9 by sheer luck, and erroneously rule out bangable fives and sixes after that.

The principle is to bang the hottest girl you could get in any given night, rather than going home disappointed (e.g. at not getting a 7+) and then spread your seeds alone. As long as you get an erection in bed with that girl, she is a bangable girl.

And a team that only go for touch-downs is unlikely to become champions unless they are leagues ahead of their opponents.