The Point Of Diminishing Return

It’s difficult to know when to quit. Whether you’re dealing with money, pussy, or travel, there comes a point where you pass the point of diminishing return. When the correct move is to enjoy and reflect on our gains before moving on to something else, why do we keep doing the same thing? Why do we forego new opportunities for an old habit that doesn’t give us as much pleasure as it used to?

Poker and blackjack players know how hard it is to end a session. It doesn’t matter if you’re up or down—there is a psychological pull that keeps you seated until the typical result of losing all your money, no matter how well you may have been doing. In poker you go on “tilt” where your emotions override your logic and you lose everything while complaining about how some sucker called the pot when he “should’ve” folded. Those who do well at gambling not only have to be skilled at the game but also strong enough to get up from the table when there is little advantage in staying.

It’s the same feeling when having a goal to save money. You tell yourself when you have X amount of cash you will feel comfortable in life. Then you get there and realize that you could use a bit more. You get to your second goal but decide to keep going. I have saved much more than my initial goal I set over five years ago but now I feel it’s not enough and decided on a goal that is ten times more than the original. I know that if I get there it still won’t be enough. You can give me one million dollars right now and I’ll still feel insecure after a month or two, thinking of ways to increase it further.

The problem with humans is that the program in our DNA tells us that it’s never enough. We simply can’t stay satisfied with what we have. Another example is notches. I can’t seem to stop chasing them, even though I get less pleasure from the pursuit than in my twenties. The only difference between chasing money and chasing notches is that the former is sanctioned by society while the other is not, but in the end they’re not all that different.

When is it time to say enough and ease out of chasing something that used to give you so much happiness? Why does it seem impossible for me to quit a game that has defined me for so long? Many men stay hooked long after they should’ve quit, hanging on to a pursuit that no longer makes sense, all while neglecting the present. You face the risk of forgoing new pleasures that may take you way above what used to give you everything, but no longer does. The hardest thing in life is knowing when to get up from the table.

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Solarex
Solarex
7 years ago

Wow. Great post.

DBCooper
DBCooper
7 years ago

I have to echo what Solarex said. The post reminded me of a great quote, not sure who it’s by but…

‘Quitting whilst you’re ahead, is not the same as quitting.’

YouSoWould
7 years ago

The point at which I stop striving to better myself in all areas of my life is the point at which I stop being a man. Maybe that day will come, but not before I’m 60 years old at least, and maybe not even then.

The struggle defines us.

Jim
Jim
7 years ago

And having notches does what in the long run? You can’t take it with you. Your reference to cash is also wrong. Once you get to the point in life where you have stability, you should only work to keep that going. Problems arise though when you allow others to tell you it’s not good enough. Yeah I might drive a 14 year old Ford but it’s paid and so is the crib. And if people are judging me on that, I take comfort in knowing that I get to spend most of my time at home instead of at work LIKE THEY DO. I wake up everyday not to an alarm, but naturally. So fuck ’em.

I find that men who define their existence solely on women exhibit the most problems by far and have the worst issues to deal with. And believe me when I say they are ill equipped to handle them when they catch up. And they always do.

Lee
Lee
7 years ago

Roosh,

It sounds like you’re struggling with what to do next. Maybe you should use your travel experiences to find a place you want to live for awhile and brush up on your relationship game. Possibly, write a book eventually called “Bang, your wife”. I can imagine that what you are doing now would get exhausting after awhile.

Anonymous
Anonymous
7 years ago

I think that human beings like a certain amount of “roots” and stability – when you constantly move on you don’t develop any roots and really allow your self to grow as a person. The ass is fun and nice but it does get old and then get new again. Having people to count on and learn from and enjoy on a daily weekly and monthly basis is valuable – you have chosen a tough path but learned a lot. I would liken what your saying to taking the same classes in college over and over again – you get the degree, the masters, the PHD and then at a certain point it is time to jump into applying it to new situations and life.

Lee
Lee
7 years ago

Actually, nix what I said above. Traveling isn’t what you’re getting bored of. You’re getting bored of having to run the same game over and over again. It sounds like your travels have been pretty sweet, but what have you seen besides the women? Sometimes the scenery can be just as nice as the women.

Another idea for ya, go on a road trip across the US. Write a book “On the Road (to a Bang)”. I’d bet that 80% of your target audience is interested more in how to get laid with American women. Yes, they are overweight and manjawed, but for a large part of the US, that’s their only option. You should write about how to weed out the best ones. Also, enjoy the scenery as you go. Maybe don’t work for a bang every night of the week. Just a couple of times a week. Explore the western US especially. There is some beautiful stuff out there.

OldHornDog
OldHornDog
7 years ago

This is actually one of your better posts mate. Here are some pointers from an old horn dog, if you care:

Human beings by nature are creature of habits. They adapt to change and adversity very well but often they also get defined by them. It’s very difficult for you to give up chasing poon if your very existence is defined by it (i.e. your mental peptides have defined reward patterns, your make a living with it, you are not used to staying in one place anymore, etc.).

Chasing poon sounds like fun in your 20s and 30s but in your 40s at the very latest you will realize that most pussy dives are not worth the hassle. After hundreds of vaginas at some point I realized that one pretty much is like the other – with certain varieties of course (no argument there). But in the end everything you get in life comes with a price tag attached to it.

Or in other words – one man’s heaven is another’s purgatory. For some guys on this blog your lifestyle sounds like a dream come true. Ten or twenty years ago I would agreed. However at this stage in my life I know that I can get all the poon I want and I find it a lot more rewarding to devote my time and energy to my personal and professional goals. I feel more fulfilled working on them (not even the gains but the actual action of pursuit) than to waste hours or days on some airhead just so that she winds up polishing my broomstick.

And it’s not that my libido has suffered – I am very fulfilled in that department. It’s just that I have developed a more discriminatory perspective. When I see some hot piece of ass in almost all cases I think – yeah, been there done that. I’m much more motivated to spend my time on other pursuits. If I have a choice between my MA class and meeting some chick then it’s the former almost every time.

Maybe I’m slowing down – that’s probably what most of you young bucks are thinking. Very much so – but I’m actually a lot more happy this way. And that doesn’t mean I’m ‘settling down’ – six months ago i just gave up my entire life in L.A. and moved to Spain. So my sense of adventure/change is still very developed – I have not turned into a 9-5 two and half children suburbanite. Just maybe have climbed high enough to see above the tree tops and now I wonder why I ever was so worried about all those bushes 😉

Isaac Jordan
Isaac Jordan
7 years ago

Roosh,

I’d recommend checking out a book called “The Happiness Hypothesis” by Jonathan Haidt. It aims to answer exactly the question you’re asking.

OldHornDog
OldHornDog
7 years ago

Agree with Isaac – there is a ton of work on happiness. And in a nutshell let me explain it all to you in one sentence: Human beings are never happy 😉

Once you reach one goal you are only primed to think of the next one. And that’s how most people are – stagnation is slow death.

Red Pill
Red Pill
7 years ago

Oh boy. Is Roosh buttering us up before letting us know he’s “settling down”? What’s next, Tom Leykis onto wife #5?

thecaptainpower
7 years ago

Roosh, I am 32 years old and I have $102,000 in a 2.9% CD and I am still scared to death of being broke…..Just keep doing what you are doing, the Rolling Stones are gng on tour again at age 70.

never stop, never give in…

Captain Power

Tony Stone
Tony Stone
7 years ago

The time to cash out is when you find a woman who maintains your interest while looking after your needs as if they were her own; and who you can envision as the mother of children as you’re drawn towards the greatest investment of your time and energy, fatherhood. When that day comes, you’ll know it. Until then, keep plowing away.

The Vain Yogi
The Vain Yogi
7 years ago

Do you quit when you achieve your original goal?
Do you quit when you obtain diminishing returns?
Do you quit when something else more attractive pulls you away?

Quitting is difficult because it feels like defeat. It is not. It is knowing that you have achieved your original goal and it is time to move on. It is knowing that returns are much less than what you deserve and you deserve much more than that. It is knowing that it is time to move on because another attractive journey lies ahead of you and it is time to move on. It is not quitting, it is knowing. Knowing yourself, your capacities and your needs. What it takes to make you happy.

Pursuit has a hidden result of defining who you are, who you have become. It is this attractive identity that is so hard to give up. We might kill ourselves if we give up this identity. But it is only a story we made up, selecting elements, rejecting others. If we created this identity, we can kill it and create another. A better one that this. More fulfilling. More nurturing. More … you.

Best of luck!

SadieB
SadieB
7 years ago

You realize that any attempt to carve a new path will be scuttled by your distinct appearance? Sacrifices must be made. You know what I’m talking about.

SadieB
SadieB
7 years ago

THE BEARD MUST GO

20th Level
20th Level
7 years ago

It must he that time of the month because I swear Roosh writes one of these about every 30 days…….I kid, I kid..

Seriously though when I was small the most important thing in the world was getting a Big Wheel with a grip shifter brake on the back right wheel. As I got older the most important thing in the world was NOT to have a bike with a gay ass banana seat on the back.

My point is that things that seem super important at one age cease to be when you get older. It’s inevitable.

I’m also calling it now that Roosh will put his considerable writing skills to work along with his wealth of knowledge from bouncing around the globe to move on to writing books that have nothing to do with pulling bitches.

There are self publishers out now that are KILLING it and Roosh is going to crush it one day. Mark my words.
He won’t even be known as Roosh but there will be whispers that this popular writer has some sort of sordid past which in turn will make him even MORE popular.

Like I said, calling it now.

Anonymous
Anonymous
7 years ago

You should have a kid or two with one of the better European women you met. This reminds me of something you tweeted a while ago – a woman over 30 and not married is a failure. The corrollary to that is, a man over 35 without children is a failure (biologically speaking. We are designed to reproduce. Unless you have health issues preventing you from having children, you should have at least one. Do your duty my good man. Don’t believe all that bs about how its easy for older men to have children – it isn’t. In fact, recent research has linked many developmental disabilities in children conceived by older men. Real talk.

Bobby
Bobby
7 years ago

Find supplemental interests. Complementary interests. Like OldHornDog above, I now find that, after a hundred plus women, there are more important things in life. Sometimes, the puxxy is not worth the drama.

Crowdsource your next life goals.

Areas to consider: 6 flags/PT lifestyle, languages a la “fluent in 3 months”, lifestyle hacking, etc.

Hawk
Hawk
7 years ago

@ 8 OldHornDog
November 2nd, 2012 @ 10:00 am

“Chasing poon sounds like fun in your 20s and 30s but in your 40s at the very latest you will realize … But in the end everything you get in life comes with a price tag attached to it.”

Pussy is like beer. Every man has his own amount to get his “fill”, then he goes home and throws up.

Yes I agree Old Horn Dog that eventually one can interest in one thing while gaining interest in something else. It will be interesting to see where Rooshs life takes him and if he is still hitting on young skags when he reaches his 40s or doing something else.

And yes there is a price for everything in life. In any choise you give up something for something else. Buts thats OK and the way it works.

Hawk
Hawk
7 years ago

Follow up: to Old Horn Dog who also stated “And it’s not that my libido has suffered – I am very fulfilled in that department. It’s just that I have developed a more discriminatory perspective. When I see some hot piece of ass in almost all cases I think – yeah, been there done that.”

Exactly. Eventually every man hits critical mass and it becomes been-there-done-that

Hawk
Hawk
7 years ago

@ Tony Stone whop stated “The time to cash out is when you find a woman who maintains your interest while looking after your needs as if they were her own; and who you can envision as the mother of children as you’re drawn towards the greatest investment of your time and energy, fatherhood. When that day comes, you’ll know it. Until then, keep plowing away”

Respectfully Tony, that is also called “chasing after a fantasy” That is exactly the Disney esque / Shakeseparian rooted bullshit propaganda that has been fed to men for so long. maye eons ago it was the case,. but not now and do not expect it to change until something happens where we get bombed back to the stone age by a doomsday metieor or something.

Today in modern times men who grow old and stick to their independence are the ones who are happiest, not someone who marches off to the gallows of matrimoney and becomes some womans poodle.

Roosh has written some excellent posts on how todays technology is alterting humanity, and how women act towards men. They are true and relevent to all of us.

Hawk
Hawk
7 years ago

@ 18 Anonymous
who stated:
“You should have a kid or two with one of the better European women you met. …. Do your duty my good man.”

Ha! No one is falling for that common feminazi manipulation tactic you fat sack of pig vomit.

Anonymous
Anonymous
7 years ago

Ask yourself wat u want bro, are u tired of chasing ass altogether or maybe ur just tired of going through the same process everytime, i was reading that autobiography of arnold u put on ur book reviews and his train of was, “what can i do to make money from this”, idk bro meditate and write down wat comes to u

asdf
asdf
7 years ago

Any hobby you turn into a living is going to ruin it eventually. At some point you will find yourself saying, “I don’t really want to do X right now, but if I don’t I won’t pull down the income I need this week.” Once enough of that happens you will start to hate your own hobby.