The Problem

I read through the comments on Solutions For Girls and I’m just pretty surprised that a lot of girls are denying that there’s even a problem, that their lifestyle does not need changing. I first talked about this two years ago (Brooke Shields Is Jealous) and the female shrieking then and now hasn’t really changed. Same comments but a different crowd.

I’m still confident that my advice to women is sound and will help them if they want to be helped. It’s advice I give to my sister, someone whose happiness and future I deeply care about. There’s a reason the title wasn’t “Solutions For Roosh.” In the end if you don’t think a problem exists, then you are probably part of the problem.

Related Posts For You

newest oldest most voted
Yeders
Guest
Yeders
Offline

I was surprised by their comments too.
I showed a few of my female friends this article. They said your wrong and your an asshole. (I clearly don’t agree)
However, I showed them this article with good reason for they are heading down the road that I wish they wouldn’t; Just like your intentions of the advice to your dear sister.
Denial is always the case.

kayla
Guest
kayla
Offline

I couldn’t believe all the comments on your original post – but not the comments from girls.. the comments going back and forth between the sexes. It seems we all are pros on knowing the opposite sex – which is pretty ridiculous when you think about it. (I know nothing about what it is like to be a guy because I am not a guy).

However, I am 33 and single. I am not bitter, I am not angry, I am not fat, I am not miserable, I am not after someones money, I am not career obsessed (I work for a non profit). Many of us (70’s kids) grew up in single parent households (my mom was divorced at 26). So, the rush to get married in our 20’s just doesn’t (or didn’t) exist. What I desired in a boyfriend in my 20’s is not what I want now in a boyfriend/future husband.

It would nice to not be lumped into a generalization by some 20 something guys whose view is of a certain group of women — not all women.

Jay Gatsby
Guest
Jay Gatsby
Offline

Actually Roosh, what you have in the comments to your previous posts were quite a few women saying “I’m the exception” to your generalizations (as you do already in this post as well). Yet it’s funny that you didn’t have a single one readily-admit that she is the girl you described, and thank you for setting her straight.

I found Kayla’s comment in this post quite interesting and telling. In fact, I’d daresay that it proves your point.

String of denials: “I am not…bitter, angry, fat, etc…”

As the Bard once put it, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” While she may not consider herself any of those things, others may think that she is (and she may know they do, hence the denials). Naturally, her response to this statement would be that she doesn’t care what other people think, but that’s not really true, is it? If that were the case, then she would not feel the need to deny that she is such things. She would simply let people form their own opinions of her, and wouldn’t care what they were.

“Many of us (70’s kids) grew up in single parent households (my mom was divorced at 26).”

I didn’t grow up in one, nor did any of my friends (my parents are still married after 42 years, and my grandparents were each married for 65+ years). The fact that her mother was divorced at 26 is somewhat telling. I’m not going to criticize her mother, but you have to wonder how long the marriage lasted, and if there isn’t just a hint of truth to the assumption that she chose the wrong guy to marry.

“So, the rush to get married in our 20’s just doesn’t (or didn’t) exist.”

Based on the position of this sentence and the statement in the previous one, it would seem that Kayla (like many women her age and in their 20s today), are sour on the idea of getting married in their 20s because their parents were divorced. Yet why use your parents — whose marriage failed — as the primary basis for such an important decision? The fact that your parents may have chosen poorly, or failed to put in the effort to maintain a successful marriage, is no excuse for you to discount the concept of marriage during your prime years. If you’re an independent woman (as you seem to claim) then you should make up your own mind, and be wary about taking marital advice from people whose marriages have failed. People who have failed at something are often bitter, and also don’t like seeing people succeed where they have failed.

“What I desired in a boyfriend in my 20’s is not what I want now in a boyfriend/future husband.”

This makes Roosh’s point perfectly. What she wanted in her 20s in a boyfriend is NOT what she wants in a husband today. Why? Because the 20s boyfriend needed to be exciting, provide drama, etc… The husband needs to be mature, stable, earn a good income and potentially be a good father for her kids. In other words, she can’t see marrying a guy who is like her 20s boyfriend.

“It would nice to not be lumped into a generalization by some 20 something guys whose view is of a certain group of women — not all women.”

Funny, despite all of her protestations to the contrary, she seems to fall squarely within the generalization.

Jo
Guest
Jo
Offline

Ok here’s the deal. Society judges women by our looks, that’s the honest to god truth. A lot, if not most, women decide to stop taking care of themselves once they get married and have kids and therefore gain weight and stop caring about their appearance. So this just perpetuates the case that women get uglier as they grow older.

The point I was trying to make is that the women who -do- take care of themselves look great, and that’s where you get the MILFs, Diane Lane, and Helen Mirren’s of the world. Instead of telling women to marry young, tell them to keep putting an effort into their appearance after they get married/have kids.

Also, although I agree with your advice about where to meet guys (like, 100% agree) I don’t agree that women should look for their potential mates in High School or College. We’re immature in HS and College (not all but most) and we don’t know what the hell we want.

Genevieve
Guest
Genevieve
Offline

I think it’s the people least willing to listen to advice and comments from others that need the most work.
Why do you not believe anything any of the girls say on here? You’d that if enough people said the same thing, you might start to think there was something there. Guess not.

I’m going to go with this mantra though: it’s pretty pointless to ever defend my sex as nothing that anyone says can change your POV on us. Apparently were all just out to get you or something.

momo
Guest
momo
Offline

Jay, maybe. Or she could be telling the truth: she is a happy woman who is not desperate to get married.

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

jo:
“Society judges women by our looks”

you write this as if it was something that could be changed.
society is doing no judging. a pocket of neurons in the hindbrain is. society merely gives the neurons exactly what it wants to experience.

“So this just perpetuates the case that women get uglier as they grow older.”

structural failure happens.
jo your advice for women to keep up their shape as best as possible is good, but that doesn’t absolve them from keeping a watch on the ticking clock, because age disfigures even the most fanatic exerciser.
diane lane may be a milf but 20 year younger diane lane was a hell of a lot more fuckable.

gen:
“if enough people said the same thing, you might start to think there was something there.”

they are all saying the same thing.
in fact, it’s when people squeal the loudest that i assume just the opposite of what they’re saying.

irina
Guest
New Member
irina
Offline

I think everyone’s mistake here is to call a social problem (structure) a personal problem (agency).

Perhaps no one realizes that people are living, oh like way longer than they used to. And the age to “adult” has drastically skyrocketed from 18 to nearly 30. It takes that long for the modern, globalization-immersed man or woman to make themselves who he or she is. Thirty years ago, when we were less mobile, we could marry our little neighbor because he or she had the same upbringing, background, and values as us. But now, with mobility, advanced communication, and a complete and rapid restructuring of the job market, we’re living in a whole different world with new rules and still trying to play by Victorian rules. News flash people: what you assume as “the norm” was only the norm for a brief time in human history. Another fascinating fact: this “spinsterhood” is happening all over the world, from Europe, to Vietnam, to rural Mexico. Read a study, it’s all different. The nature of marriage is different too, it’s less co-dependent and financial and more based on love and sex.

So stop pretending that you’re a free agent choosing to wait to marry or seeking to marry now. You have less will as a human being in our world that you think, so go with the flow and find your own NEW alternatives in this phase of human history to the old mating game, because the old one was just a phase as well.

Jay Gatsby
Guest
Jay Gatsby
Offline

“Why do you not believe anything any of the girls say on here? You’d [think] that if enough people said the same thing, you might start to think there was something there. Guess not.” — Genevieve

Because ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS. Kayla’s comment (and many others on this blog as well) make numerous claims, yet the actions described therein clearly indicate that such claims are not true. This is why men are often given the dating advice to watch what a woman does, rather than listen to what she says. For example, many women claim to want a man who is “nice”, “sensitive”, “caring”, “intelligent” and “has a great sense of humor”. Yet when you look at the men they date (translation: sleep with), such men are often the exact opposite. Why? Because the men many women claim to want are NOT what they want. Are there exceptions to this? Sure, but just because there are exceptions doesn’t mean the generalization is any less true.

As unpleasant as my perspective may be (and those of Roosh, Roissy, Jewcano and other men on this blog), we simply tell women things they do not want to hear (or that their egos can’t handle).

okdc
Guest
okdc
Offline

I think everyone will find this article amusing. I am not sure if it is a joke.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/neurotic_woman_turns_to_neurotic

bamfb2
Guest
bamfb2
Offline

irina:
“Perhaps no one realizes that people are living, oh like way longer than they used to. And the age to “adult” has drastically skyrocketed from 18 to nearly 30. It takes that long for the modern, globalization-immersed man or woman to make themselves who he or she is.”

Actually it doesn’t take that long. This lengthening of the process of youth is a sociocultural thing (especially in America). Kids are coddled and babied at home and in school to the point where they are barely able to take care of themselves properly by the time they are 30. It’s not dealing with the complexity of society that makes growing up harder, it’s crappy nurturing.

“But now, with mobility, advanced communication, and a complete and rapid restructuring of the job market, we’re living in a whole different world with new rules and still trying to play by Victorian rules.”

The only problem here is that, the age when women are able to have kids has not moved dramatically in a long time. Women are still at there most fertile point when they are young: 18 – early 30s. Past that, and the law of diminishing returns comes into play.

Yes, women can have babies in their 40s now, but it is not that common, nor are the long term health prospects as good for the children. The BEST genes are passed on in youth.

So, what are the implications? Yes, we might live longer, but human evolution is funny. The reproductive age is not keeping pace with the lengthening of the human life span. The ‘Victorian’ rules you mentioned are still in play if you want to have a healthy child (and therefore family). That’s the reason MOST women get married.

irina
Guest
New Member
irina
Offline

richer western world –>
cars + changing economy –>
greater mobility–>
children no longer raised by a community (parents, relatives, neighbors, etc.) but rather by nuclear family + women in the workforce–>
crappy nurturing –>
can’t be a functioning adult until 30

i mean it’s all structural.

oh and by the way, you don’t have to get married to have a child, thought it helps in raising it. also, it’s shown that the less men in a particular culture contribute to the raising of the children (stuff the mom can’t) the less likely women are to get married.
maybe this says something about you as men in america, rather than what it says about us women. wink we did all the work to get to where we are, but you haven’t moved. maybe if you see what women actually want in a MODERN marriage, things will be different.

virglekent
Guest
virglekent
Offline

I’ve written about this before (not the topic but people responding). I feel that it is a generalization but as a blog post on a group on a topic it would be impossible to go case by case wouldn’t. I feel that just because you may be in the group doesn’t mean it’s directed to you personally or to take it personally. If you’re a member of the group but what he’s saying doesn’t apply to you directly then what’s the problem?

For instance that stereotype that all black guys are well hung and eat chicken is completely false. But it doesn’t bother me. I gotta go now, running to KFC for lunch and I have untie my wang from my mid left tie to go use the bathroom.

Roissy
Guest
Roissy
Offline

irina, you’re halfway there. the rise of the tight-knit nuclear family had little to do with modernization. it started long before as an organic development that grew out of the nexus between the birth of agriculture, migration to colder climes with seasonal harvests, and the move away from patrilineal cousin marriage.

“thought it helps in raising it”

there’s a whole host of shitty life outcomes that happen to kids raised without fathers.
‘sluts and criminals’ should be the name of a band.

“the less men in a particular culture contribute to the raising of the children…the less likely women are to get married”

yes. this is especially true in african cultures where the growing season is year round and women do most of the fieldwork. men in these circumstances don’t need to fill the role of primary provider.

“rather than what it says about us women.”

it says that women are drawn to powerful men because those are the men most likely to give them the best resources to help raise her children healthy and with the most advantages.

“what women actually want in a MODERN marriage”

what women want hasn’t changed. what has changed is the environment in which they want it. if women want happiness, there are three courses of action that could get them there:

1. women could willingly step away from pursuing college and grad school and higher paying careers. this will widen their pool of acceptable mates.

2. men could all move into high status, high paying careers. this will also widen women’s acceptable dating pool.

3. fixing the unaffordable housing/no-fault divorce/sexual revolution consequences. all these factors have contributed to the unhappiness, marriage delays, and baby dearth.

i don’t see #1 happening anytime soon, though a dysgenic fertility trend in the long term could conceivably result in fewer career-oriented women passing on their genes and thus a return to a society weighted toward less ambitious, family-minded women and more provider males giving them what they want.

#2 is not going to happen if the current trends are any indication. the ratio of female to male college students is 60/40 and growing. without a feeling of needing to be responsible for women, men opt to drop out of filling the provider roles and instead turn to the thrills of seduction.

#3 — good luck!

kayla
Guest
kayla
Offline

Jay G –

I appreciate you referencing my comment over and over again…say what you want about me.. but dragging my mom in to it.. isn’t telling, it’s insulting. My dad was actually cheating on her.. I was 2 years old and he left with one of his students (he was a professor). She lived on welfare for a couple of years. So, what’s “telling” about her struggle is that she is a rock star of a mom… Don’t trash before mother’s day.. it’s wrong, man… wrong.

Jay Gatsby
Guest
Jay Gatsby
Offline

Kayla–

Somehow despite all of my protestations to the contrary, I somehow knew you would find a way to take offense at both my dissection of your comment and my passing statement about your mother. This reaction, rather than a substantive refutation of anything I wrote, is disappointing. For the record, I was using your post (where you mentioned your mother) simply as fodder for discussion of Roosh’s topic, and wasn’t holding you or your mother up for particular ridicule.

I’ve always advised people not to “write angry”, and to really think about what they write before pressing “submit”. Indeed, I do this every time I post something (read and re-read it several times). Regardless, and as Roosh pointed out in his original post, “I’m just pretty surprised that a lot of girls are denying that there’s even a problem, that their lifestyle does not need changing.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

InstantExcitement
Guest
InstantExcitement
Offline

A happy medium is probably the case of most of the posters, both men and women, but it’s more convenient to believe the extreme especially when you see that to be the truth. Nice Guys see girls who say they want a nice guy to be a bunch of liars. Guys that sleep with a lot of women think of the women as being foolish or unsure of what they want. The women who sleep around and are bitter and angry believe that they made the right decisions and it was the fault of fate or the men they met. The women who follow the advice given see others with a different path seemingly more happy and thus don’t like their decision. Or we see our friends following their individual path and finding happiness and see that as proof that we can do whatever we want for happiness. The real truth is that we need to figure out what matters most to us as an individual and go after it. Roosh just made a general comment that while may seem offensive describes a large number of women. The women who wrote that these circumstances are do to the men they meet, are also correct, but it’s just the same generalization. Being offended by this article doesn’t make much sense unless it accurately describes you and your inner feelings on the topic.