The Thrill Is Gone

“Missions are stupid, Tereza. I have no mission. No one has. And it’s a terrific relief to realize you’re free, free of all missions.”
The Unbearable Lightness Of Being

There used to be no obstacles in my path to sex. I had the strong desire followed by unlimited will that allowed me to sleep with a lot of women, something that I felt was necessary to make me a real man. I put up with all sorts of attitude, bullshit, flakiness, and frustration to make it happen.

Now the path is obstructed with debris. She’s not putting in enough effort. She’s not from the right country. She’s stupid. She lives too far. She’s too old. She’s not sensual or emotional. She has fat arms. She’s a lawyer. Something is always in the way of putting in a full effort, whereas a couple years ago it never came up.

It wasn’t long ago that I cherished the vagina (the organ, not the woman attached to it). I’d take almost any abuse for the chance to abuse it. I didn’t mind doing whatever was necessary, whatever the cost. The pursuit was completely pure.

The problem came about when I realized that women are as much of a source of unhappiness as happiness. Most are simply not worth the time, squirting vagina or not, and the costs associated with laying 95% of them exceeds the sexual benefits gained. And the benefits go down with increasing age: what was exciting when I was 22 is an afterthought at 29. There is little thrill in sticking a new vagina.

I’m at the stage where there is nothing left to prove or accomplish. No additional notch will make me a better person or more of a man than I am now. I’ve hit the point of diminishing return. As a result I have this basal level of game effort determined by my physical needs alone. It’s a lot lower than when I had something to prove. When I had a chip on my shoulder.

I was at a club with a friend and I told him how I’m barely motivated or inspired. He gave me a vigorous pep talk and told me I needed to stop being a lazy bitch. To get what was mine. I was pumped. That night I went to sleep ready to do what it takes to build a massive harem of girls. But the next day I woke up as apathetic as ever.

My mind refuses to allow me to work on something where it knows there is little gain. I’m afraid I’ve passed the peak of sexual conquest. Of quantity. Unless the girl is special or different in some way, or gives me a flag for better understanding of the world, then I can’t just go through the motions.

It feels like I’ve lost my main purpose in life.

91 Comments

  1. dman December 3, 2008 at 9:09 am

    getting exercising man
    it will put a better shine on life
    go for a run! 😀

  2. Andrew December 3, 2008 at 9:16 am

    Funny – a year ago you were vigorously defending yourself and your life against people who questioned it, and now you’re admitting that you feel like it has lost its purpose. Perhaps they had something worth listening to.

  3. DeusExMachina December 3, 2008 at 9:19 am

    Bravo Roosh…. That is the truth for so many of us who have swallowed the proverbial “red pill”. We awaken, we grow, and score, and eventually long for what we felt before we swallowed that “red pill”.

    Good luck in finding what you are looking for.

  4. Westlondon December 3, 2008 at 9:33 am

    Jesus christ, that describes my situation exactly.
    I went through university picking up girls left right and centre until my standards went up and up and up. Now i find fault with all girls, and have literally no motivation whatsoever.
    The irony is every blue moon i meet someone i really like – now i dont know how to behave. Ive lost that arrogance of not giving a fuck that used to work like a treat. Im good looking so they give me the time of day and a date and maybe a kiss and then i fuck it up – why? because im just honest and play no games with them.
    This has been continuously happening to me the last year. advice someone????????????
    ps im in argentina which is NOT helping, girls here are weird.

  5. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 9:54 am

    Maybe you can turn this blog into finding long, healthy relationships. I know you’ll find a bigger audience.

  6. rdj December 3, 2008 at 9:56 am

    Wow Roosh. This looks like a post from a guy ready to move on, to retire to your cabin in the woods, brew your own whiskey high in the mountains and rock in your chair smoking your pipe all day.

    It sounds like you need a new project to me, and give the va-jay-jay a break for a while.

  7. Lemmonex December 3, 2008 at 10:06 am

    Women can think of just as many reasons not to get with a guy–he is going bald, he is unmotivated, he is inarticulate, he tries too hard, he is a flake–but I guess you just have to wait for the right one to come along. It is tiring though, and the older we get, the more you realize you are dealing with the reject pile.

    Lemmonex’s last blog post: Holiday Gift Guide v 2.0.

  8. the_alpha_male December 3, 2008 at 10:12 am

    You need HRT imo.

  9. Simon December 3, 2008 at 10:52 am

    Maybe you should change your main purpose in life to something else. Like getting a real job or not living in your parents basement.

  10. Nina December 3, 2008 at 10:52 am

    I noticed that you have lacked your motivation. Your writing doesn’t show your angry or hunger as used to.
    Maybe you just let go “the one” because you are so worried with your pursuit and didn’t really noticed her.
    Maybe she will come yet. Maybe not.
    But maybe this is a good sign.
    who knows?
    Good luck, anyways.

  11. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 10:53 am

    Sounds like you have a spiritual problem.

    Alternatively, now that you’ve completed your mission, you need a new one, unrelated to women.

  12. prinks December 3, 2008 at 11:00 am

    maybe you need a vacation? you had fun in south america, now try somewhere else…

  13. virgle kent December 3, 2008 at 11:20 am

    What if the thrill isn’t really gone, it’s just that there’s nothing left here to get thrilled about? Especially since you’ve fornicated with half the city… wait what?

    As far as squirting vaginas go, they’re not all that they’re cracked up to be. In theory it’s seems cool, till it actually happens to you. Then you sit there and think to yourself… “what if that had hit me in the eye or even gotten in my mouth or up my nose” ewwwww I could never be a girl.

  14. Ben December 3, 2008 at 11:24 am

    You know that displaying this kind of vulnerability will just turn on more chicks. Well played, sir, well played.

    The world is a more amazing place than you can imagine. Go explore it.

    In women, as well as in men, look for personality traits that you admire and want to copy. You will mimic those you surround yourself with.

  15. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 11:50 am

    Great post Roosh!,Bravo.
    You pretty much hit it on the head as far as guys in our age range 27-35.who are dealing with women 27-35 that are desperate for lovin due to gods biological clock he put on them.
    If you feel this way now.it’ll get worse in your 30’s.Trust me.(all the other kiddies that are in their mid 20’s, enjoy the life while you can)
    But yes.sometime you just need a good friend to slap some sense into you on why you should still get inspired.
    But its hard when you dont give a shit that much.I know i get like this now.
    our sex drives aren’t the same at 29 as they were @22.And experience tells us that what was important to us when we were younger loses its luster as time goes on.
    Hence the motivation for most things is gone with age.
    Its funny how in the big picture of a mans life how his dick is the primary motivator for all things he has accomplished or still is.
    But there is more to life than just constant women though.experience has tought me that with age, They need favors,secretly want to get pregnant due to their time clock,need their electric bill paid,need to marry an american for a green card,had mad torrential cock in their prime and now here “prince charming” comes along(a Bang book graduate) to save them from their miserable lives they lead now as a result(most american women). the list goes on.But its like one good friend of mine used to say when I was stating my lack of inspiration in women and life in general”he said”
    hey! women are a necessary evil in life, god put them here for all men to enjoy(and I guess now adays other women too).Good luck,and great book buddy,cheers.

  16. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 11:58 am

    Are you kidding me? You sound like… one of about three girls I talked to at the bar last night (replace “I want to visit Italy someday” with “my purpose in life”). So I have the same problem I with them: Do I care? No.

  17. Angelo De La Vega December 3, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    Great post Roosh, I’ve been feeling that way for sometime now. The dark and lonely thrown room of the bachelor king… the men that envy him are ignorant of his infinite boredom.

    Angelo De La Vega’s last blog post: Time for The Fall..

  18. adrock December 3, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    Great post Roosh. Regarding any passion, it’s a bit sad and confusing when the flame dwindles. What now?

    @13 re: squirting vaginas – I had a girlfriend throughout college that squirted. Though it was fun for a while, it was seriously like dumping a bucket of water on the bed. Not too much fun for sleeping in the bed afterward. Though, it brings me pleasure to know that I seriously ruined a number of college mattresses, sofas and pool tables.

  19. Shaman December 3, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    I hate that there’s people on here who aren’t community and don’t understand this stuff: “maybe you should start blogging about healthy relationships…”, “we told you so 2 years ago” (hold your nose and say the above quoted in an annoying nasal voice).

    Shut the fuck up…

  20. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    #4 I think you need to go one country over to Brazil.
    Argentinian women are cold and a pain vs.Brazilian very willing and tenacious with their men.”You cant rape the willing”Good luck.

  21. Wiscanadian December 3, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    wait, are turning into a past her prime spinster? Or are you just looking for girls that find that banging douches and flirting for free drinks also doesn’t have the same lustre it used to?

  22. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    i appreciate the honesty

  23. mike says December 3, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    Great post, keep us tuned in as you work through this. I think a lot of your core readers are going through the same thing and could use the mirror.

  24. thegrimytraveler December 3, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    Roosh, I think its time for another trip man. I get like this sometimes and once I touch down in another country the juices start to flow again.

  25. The G Manifesto December 3, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    This all sounds like you have been in Washington DC too long.

    “Now the path is obstructed with debris. She’s not putting in enough effort. She’s not from the right country. She’s stupid. She lives too far. She’s too old. She’s not sensual or emotional. She has fat arms. She’s a lawyer.”

    This sounds like someone who has been to South America.

    To quote the comment I left on your last post:

    “A change of venue is what you need. You need to stay “inspired”

    Try for instance:

    The Spearmint Rhino, Las Vegas on a Tues night at 3am.

    Punta del Este this winter.

    Model parties this winter in Miami Beach.

    Socialite Museum gigs in NYC.

    Rio

    Dope gig in Hollywood Hills filled with fly actress girls with bit parts on Entourage.

    That should keep you inspired for a while.

    Otherwise you are just casting javelins at flamingos.

    – MPM”

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: DC’s Wale Breaks it Down in Los Angeles.

  26. Doug December 3, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    I’m with you on this. That’s the thing with conquests… after you’ve completed one, it’s boring to do it all over again. So you up the ante to keep the excitement. But you can’t keep upping the ante forever… so then you go back home and try to figure out something else to conquer.

    Doug’s last blog post: Randomly Rambunctious Reunion Remarks.

  27. Ninja Zombie December 3, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    El Guapo commented (over on Roissy’s page) on why sluts make bad prospects:

    http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/love-in-the-time-of-game/#comment-36960

    “The other factor is whether or not the bonding mechanism has been damaged. Sex is the bonding force behind romantic relationships. If the promiscuity has made the male “just another man”, the relationship will self-destruct.”

    Maybe this happens to man sluts also.

  28. Tampa December 3, 2008 at 3:08 pm

    After you fuck all the bitches, usually a dude heads for the halls of power. Then after he reaces that pinnacle of power he starts fucking the 20 year olds again. Then he retires from that for some stiff whiskey sours and the local strip joint. He chooses the strip joint because he is tired of the dinners and bullshit and figures “why not just cut to the chase?”

    Then after that, he turns about 78 and heads for the villages retirment communtiy and bangs all the old ladies and drinks beer with his fellow 80 year olds. Then he loses his mind, heads for a nursing home and dies.

    Life is a wonderful thing.

  29. zephyrprime December 3, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    Oh my god. You may actually have to look for some meaning in your life now rather than just relying upon placating instincts.

  30. The G Manifesto December 3, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    Tampa,

    “After you fuck all the bitches, usually a dude heads for the halls of power. Then after he reaces that pinnacle of power he starts fucking the 20 year olds again. Then he retires from that for some stiff whiskey sours and the local strip joint. He chooses the strip joint because he is tired of the dinners and bullshit and figures “why not just cut to the chase?”

    Then after that, he turns about 78 and heads for the villages retirment communtiy and bangs all the old ladies and drinks beer with his fellow 80 year olds. Then he loses his mind, heads for a nursing home and dies.

    Life is a wonderful thing.”

    Wow. You really broke it all down to the last molecule. Great work. I see my future. If I don’t end up in a pool of blood drunk on champagne from Sicily (Prosecco).

    “cutting to the chase” is a beautiful thing too.

    I like to keep a diversified portfolio of Exotic Dancers and Civilians going at all times.

    Not too much of one or the other.

    Keeps things interesting.

    “Drink heavily and often.”

    Great advice too.

    Drugs can also do the trick, but you need to be careful with those as well.

    – MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: DC’s Wale Breaks it Down in Los Angeles.

  31. speakeasy December 3, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    The irony of this all is that Roosh should be happy, not perplexed. Now I have no idea how many girls Roosh has banged in his life as he never goes into any detail about his conquests. Let’s assume the number is high and he has hit the law of diminishing returns, well that’s a sign that it’s time to move on. He accomplished something most guys never will, to get enough ass that they lose their desire to keep chasing more. I would give ANYTHING to be in that position. At that point, you can then focus on meeting a nice woman that you can settle down with, and feel like you choose that situation instead of settled for it.

    I’m 32, I’ve only slept with 3 women in my life. I met a very nice girl early this year I’ve been sorta dating, and she’s the type of girl I could end up married to I decide to fully pursue a relationship. But I also have that nagging in the back of my head that says, “dude you have ONLY slept with 3 women in your life including this girl, I have not had the chance to sow my wild oats” and if I get serious with this girl, I am going to be unhappy feeling like I missed out on so much.

    I wish I was in your shoes Roosh. If I’d even slept with 10 women, I’d feel infinitely better. Be glad you hit the holy grail dude. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling about this whole thing, it’s called growing up and an innate desire to move on to bigger and better things. Life isn’t entirely about chasing after a pink hole for perpetuity. We want to feel like we’ve had enough to feel like we experienced what we wanted to, but that’s not the whole point of life, jumping from bed to bed. You’ve got yours and now you are freed up to look for something more substantial. I’d rather be your situation than mine!

  32. zpr December 3, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    It happens to all of us and usually at the age you are now. The next part is the hardest in that you have a choice of two paths. They both consist of still going out and experiencing all of what life has to offer but putting vagina in the take or leave it box. After that you can either develop a sexually debilitating cynicism towards all women which means doing anything with a girl besides screwing her is a waste of your time. Or you can realize that women are more then a vagina in that they provide a different experience and perspective that you can always learn from. At least then you can still not really care and might luck into something unique.

    zpr’s last blog post: Retirement is still a scam.

  33. Atheist Messiah December 3, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    stop smoking so much weed!

    lol

    really though, it sounds like you’re writing on a gnar gnar weed hangover.

  34. Eugenius December 3, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    I know what you mean…..one of the problems though is the availability of quality porn, you almost have to crave the social aspect of interaction with women as well as the chase, in order to get away from your “favorite website” 🙂

    Ok reality as I see it: You have really focused on the “game” area of your life for a while now, perhaps longer than you intended to, I think, no I know that you are over it. Your mind and body was devoted to this for an extended period of time, you kept tweaking it, and just like any project it got boring. I know you well and while you’ve accomplished what you wanted to accomplish in this particular area, its time for new goals/challenges.

    The game will always be interesting and the skills you’ve acquired will be useful, and whether it is temporary or not does not matter.

    Maybe I shouldn’t be the one to speak as my life may seem boring at this time, but I can tell you that there can be pleasure in many other things, even things that sounded boring to us five years ago are actually more exciting today. I think a cool long term relationship will be the magic pill, it will eliminate the stench of this boring ass town with its many fake people. It has for me. You also wont have to look for another country to visit to have fun, or another girl to bang… your focus will shift. 🙂

  35. The G Manifesto December 3, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    Everyone here is sulking too much.

    Bottom line: Any activity you do in life is heightened by swooping a beautiful girl along with it.

    Being a true International Playboy is one in a million. Most people have a better shot at making the NBA.

    I have seen many so called “players” come and go.

    The Game is mental. Everyone needs to toughen up and not let negativity get a hold of you.

    Swooping a beautiful girl usually is the best antidote.

    Travel, Beautiful women, Wine, Cigarettes, Money, and Beautiful Women are what life is all about.

    Not necessarily in that order.

    – MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: DC’s Wale Breaks it Down in Los Angeles.

  36. ez December 3, 2008 at 5:50 pm

    Not working for a long period of time can take a toll on the soul and one morale.
    I felt like shit when I was unemployed for 7 months.I then took a regular job.which I sorta hate but I feel better nodays about shit in general.
    I ran across rooshs blog and he really inspired me to up my game when it come to women.
    I avioded doing it for years because”i thought I needed mad status to pull women”nonsense”I am suprised on the caliber I can pull and even give me attention now that I am trying.
    You may not know it now but you do inspire guys out here more than you realize.
    anyways lets move on.tomorrows a new day.

  37. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    Time to start looking for “the one” buddy, start a family and have mini version of you 😉

  38. ez December 3, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    Yeah i think #40 is right.

  39. todd h December 3, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    41 and 42 are right i think

  40. goofiuss December 3, 2008 at 7:22 pm

    it is time to consider seeking quality, rather than quantity.

  41. Paul December 3, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    sounds like sagging testosterone

    either that, or Roosh is imagining settling down with some chick, and then getting cuckolded and then being forced to pay alimony and child support. Even thinking about that is withering, and reduces testosterone, and erodes an Alpha into a sniveling Beta.

    BANG’ing chicks Roosh style is best done when one is underemployed, or unemployed. Those making respectable coin are shooting live ammo valued at $250k or more.

  42. dchero December 3, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    unsatisfied with and without pussy. life is a fucking bitch, isn’t it

    dchero’s last blog post: The Hook.

  43. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    people, what if he is joking!!!

    actually, even if he is joking, it doesnt matter, because my prediction for Rooshv is that for a certain amount of time he will cool down, but then he will have a couple years where his sex addiction peaks again (and unlike most of us, since this guy is a player he will ***reflexively*** start picking up chicks again), but then he hits about 32/33 where it really becomes impossible for him because his force has been drained. At the most, he will have to be like his friend Roissy who (and yes, these guys are very interesting so I read their blogs regularly) once posted asking about steroids and where to get them. Rooshv will at that point be in a similar situation where he will need steroids to get that same pseudo-manic energy needed to pick up chicks.

  44. RW December 3, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    Not a shock to see this as one guy in college recounted his feelings as he had taken full advantage of his game. I guess he confessed to me because he felt I was a peer. Really we were different because I was always into quality. And I knew some of the girls he hit and felt no desire to go that route.

    He laid it all out and said, “It’s lonely.”

    You know when it becomes mechanical it doesn’t mater whether it’s due to being with the wrong girlfriend or the wrong girl.

    For me quality is still the issue, the only issue. And I define it for myself. Sometimes I’m wrong, women have a way to feign who they think you want them to be, but in the end I have always been able to allow spells of time to be alone.

    For every piece of exquisite fruit, there are many that won’t pass muster and others that in retrospect were not what we hoped.

    To each his own, but the physical quest in and of itself can often be tiring to the soul. That’s as costly as allowing some chick to take over your wallet.

  45. ez December 3, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    #47 this reminds me of that scene in The Wedding Singer with Adam Sandler where that Player friend of his with the red Micheal Jackson jacket confesses how he was actually “lonely”and all he wanted was someone to hold on to.

  46. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 8:32 pm

    I’m not drawing parallels to you Roosh, but reading this made me think you and other readers might find it interesting an ex-friend of mine who is in his very late 20’s and just “found game” two to three years ago. As a disclaimer, I know nothing about game, and you guys could make the argument it would augment my success with women, but I’m at the point where I don’t need any boosting — I do just fine with women on a regular basis. I’ve had both good and bad long term relationships, I’ve fucked smart, reasonably sober good looking girls in their early 20’s on the floor of a bathroom having met them only hours earlier at a house party. I’ve nailed a few neighbors when living in various apartment buildings. Might not be the wildest of experiences, but I’ve had my share and a good mix of everything. Anyway, I had a friend who turned into a gamer. He’s now pathetic, in that his only goal in life is to get laid. You can’t have a conversation with him, you can’t depend on him for the slightest thing, nothing. He’s reading all these pop-culture psychology books that will “help his game” and recommending them all. He doesn’t get why people get pissed at him, and apparently it is a condition to him that he shouldn’t (1) show up not being an extremely major douche every time (2) be the least bit dependable and not drop everything for the chance of POTENTIAL pussy. Gets old after a while.

    The funny thing is the girls he’s met, emailed me pics, etc are not that great looking or special. I’ve never told him, but I’ve slept with over 25 girls and a lot of them are ones if he saw the nude pictures I have of them, he’d be amazed at. It’s seriously that bad, hence we’re no longer friends. At any rate, with this particular fellow I think it’s pathetic his major goal in life, 90% of everything he does is to get laid. Partly is the way he goes about doing it, as he’s bad at it all and has sacrificed his personality and who he is as a person.

    The way I see it, pussy is nice, but it’s by no means an end-all to life. I’ve always felt people who drastically change who they are as person, and this change is a negative one, so to speak have lost the game.

  47. Namtab December 3, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    Do I smell an “endgame” post coming?

    This sounds like a spirituality problem.

    Roosh, you’re clearly a talented travel/life writer. Let’s keep the blog going, dial back the girl factor, and talk about getting some meaning out of life as a late 20-something. New day, new blog.

  48. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    yeah we are ready for something new.these comments are probably the most he has ever gotten on a single blog post.who knew he would strike such a nerve with folks on this one? i think honesty is key here.lets move on…

  49. speakeasy December 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    to #49

    Good post. I think you’re friend is like a lot of guys who may have been late bloomers. I’m willing to be he didn’t get much ass when he was younger and life, probably felt like he was missing out and is now trying to make up for lost time. I say good for him if he can get it out of his system. It’s probably a necessity.

  50. crowy December 3, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    everything changes…just keep writing about it.

  51. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 10:19 pm

    @52.

    I never mentioned it in the first post, but he was a very late bloomer. I never asked him about it, but it was pretty obvious. did well in school, no girlfriends, huge (as you guys call) beta in terms of women and painfully shy. overall was a good guy, but along the way he lost his ability to be genuine and any substance as a person he once had. talking to him is terrible now, once while out over dinner with a few of my friends the whole group of them asked me afterwards (they knew I was friends with him the longest) what the fuck was wrong with him. It was seriously quite bad, to the point we are no longer friends. Unfortunately “the game” tweaked him in how he interacts and treats people and seems to think he needs to try and put everyone with subtle comments to try and make people feel insecure, nor is he the least bit polite or accountable to other people now as “life is a game” and essentially he’s always figuring out how to peacock or whatever bullshit he read about on a message board.

    Another friend of mine was talking to me about women at a Thanksgiving dinner and he asked me how I do things. My approach is nothing more than I try to be nice and interesting. That way, regardless of how I do with women, I win. Another way to say it is, as mentioned before, I view guys who change themselves negatively in order to “get women” lose. At the end of the day I haven’t defined myself to what another person wants, I do as I please, and it has worked pretty well for me so far.

  52. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    @52 ps. what I mean by late bloomer, it wouldn’t have surprised me if he was still a virgin at 24 or 25.

  53. speakeasy December 3, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    @52

    Yeah, that’s just what I suspected! I was in much the same situation as your friend as far as late bloomer so I understand what’s driving him to act that way. I too didn’t lose my virginity until my mid 20s, was painfully shy and beta. I think though a well-balanced individual will know when that stuff is appropriate behavior and when it is not. He’ll eventually grow out of it once he’s had his fun. But in the meantime, he’s playing catchup and trying to experience all the things he was denied most of his life. I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing unless you’re becoming a worse person for it.

  54. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    Brotha you can kind happiness through a organ on your body…time for some good old soul searching..good luck

  55. Chloe December 3, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    I admit, I’ve followed your blog for a little while (looking for male perspective and morbid curiosity, I suppose) and I find this post very interesting.

    Looking for good sex with attractive people is fun, but I think that at a certain point everyone has to start start looking past “game” and hopefully find someone that they care about on a deeper level. Sometimes people forget that girls (or guys) aren’t conquests, they’re human beings. Some are relationship material, while some aren’t. Unfortunately, most of the bar-hopping girls that guys take home aren’t relationship material quite yet. The girl you take home after an hour of flirting probably isn’t the woman who will make you happy for the rest of your life.

    I do hope that you are able to find relationships with women you respect and care about in the future. I promise that there are some of us out there who have more to offer than a PMSing blow-up doll.

  56. ResidentCynic December 3, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    I could have written this post myself.

    @58 Chloe:

    “Looking for good sex with attractive people is fun, but I think that at a certain point everyone has to start start looking past “game” and hopefully find someone that they care about on a deeper level.”

    I know others share this perspective, but I’m not sure if this is *quite* what Roosh is talking about.

    Here’s my perspective (the perspective of one who agrees with everything Roosh mentioned in this post): Most women aren’t THAT attractive (physically, emotionally, etc) to begin with. Seriously. At least, not nearly attractive enough to put up with the mountains of drama they put out (before AND after you sleep with them).

    Most women are “typical” (even the ones who think they are “special”) and the mystique of any old new vagina is simply not enough to bring out the full game of a “player” who has probably had quite a few. Yes he will take it if offered, but he’s not going to bring HIS “A” game.

    (I use the term player which has negative connotations for many people, but I simply mean a guy who can date a large portion of single women he meets if he so chooses. This guy is not necessarily a cheating asshole).

    Roosh can correct me if I’m wrong (maybe I’m super imposing my own thinking), but he’s NOT talking about looking for “the one”. He’s simply talking about finding a woman worth getting *excited* about. You can definitely get excited by a chick who is NOT “relationship” material.

  57. Anonymous December 3, 2008 at 11:36 pm

    @38. I don’t once heard you mention your friends or family.

    I’d rather have good friends than shitloads of money.

  58. Dave December 3, 2008 at 11:39 pm

    Time to take a breather and travel the world a bit, get reinspired, figure out whats important, and whats not. Glad you’ve finally come to a realization of sorts.

  59. finefantastic December 3, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    i like how your writing has no pretense.

  60. Big Snot December 3, 2008 at 11:51 pm

    Well watch out. I’m 31 and was in the same place about a 3 years ago. I changed focus and just spent two years trying to find a real worthwhile girl and ive been kicked in the nuts and stomach punched over and over again. Its tough. Get ready — if you’re like me all that bad karma is coming back to you. Payback is a biyatch. and i dont even live in DC.

  61. Brian December 4, 2008 at 12:37 am

    here’s my take – once you bang enough of them you realize they’re a hassle. but since you live w/your parents you have a family around, people to talk with, and some form of companionship, so you dont feel lonely and want to go out and bang chicks. secondly, unless you love your career, DC will suck the life out of you, and between its ugly chicks and its ethnic diversity if you live in the ‘burbs you can go days easily w/o seeing a hot piece of ass, and that just sucks the motivation out of you. hang out in south beach or LA where there is hot pussy everywhere and it keeps you fired up.

  62. James O. December 4, 2008 at 12:42 am

    I’m struck by the power of androgens (male sex hormones). Thirty ain’t forty, and fifty most definitely is not forty. Chasing tail just isn’t as big a priority as libido decreases. I couldn’t believe it at thirty, but approaching fifty I can’t deny it. A Jack LaLanne-type lifestyle can compensate to a great degree, but it’s seriously hard and not very realistic for most men.

    Lemmonex “the older [you] get, the more you realize you are dealing with the reject pile.”
    === Isn’t that the main problem with serial dating? As time goes by, more and more people get spoken for, and what remains is a pool of humanity who are increasingly undesirable. They’re older, more jaded, more picky, more set in their ways…Gannon is right, I say.

    Roosh, may I second the thoughts expressed by other commenters that you’re simply passing the oats-sowing part of young male life and are fast approaching the point where you’ll want to get hitched? It isn’t a matter of disliking the freedom of being single, it’s a matter of getting sick of serial dating and watching your pool of prospects shrink. John Malloy, the hard-nosed realist who is famous for “Dress for Success,” did some serious research and wrote a book of advice for girls. It’s kind of a low-key, reality-based version of “The Rules.” He basically tells girls who are ready to marry that “You need to first identify the guys who have come to the realization that their frolicking days are over; don’t waste your time on players.”
    There are quotes from Malloy’s book all over the net, here are some from a Google hit (ignore the blathering of the article author)
    http://love.ivillage.com/lnsunderstandmen/0,,doyenne_rq82,00.html
    Excepting the few icons like Mystery who’ve made a serious paying career out of it, who’s going to be PUA-ing (either as guru or participant) past 40?

    63 “Get ready — if you’re like me all that bad karma is coming back to you. Payback is a biyatch. and i dont even live in DC.”
    === Yep. Roosh is limited to “the set of all girls who would marry the author of ‘Bang.'” I wonder if it wouldn’t be that hard to find a quasi-secular girl in the Middle East who wouldn’t flake out on him after he brought her stateside…you know, whose character was set in stone in a traditional culture. Ten years his junior, a virgin. Roosh, you might find a wide-eyed young 6 gets much more attractive when you’re the only man she’s ever had and likes being possessed by you.

  63. Anonymous December 4, 2008 at 12:43 am

    #63 has a point.
    its harder for us guys in our 30’s when it comes to finding that girl that makes our heart race.After a while all I see are whores.i was depressed for sometime (about 5 years now)and really had to look in the “mirror”and say hey I gota do something with myself and refocus my life.
    I now work out every day and lost weight and im feeling better about my life in general.
    .but hey nowadays just having a job is a status quo.
    so its all takes some effort in any area of ones life to make it better.including finding non-whore types who excite me and make me wana live life to my fullest.

  64. The G Manifesto December 4, 2008 at 2:22 am

    #60 ” I don’t once heard you mention your friends or family.

    I’d rather have good friends than shitloads of money.”

    Friends in my line of work and lifestyle many times end up being the ones that dig your grave and push you in.

    Family is another story. I forgot to mention them.

    Your right. Money has no meaning except the lifestyle it helps you achieve. IE Travel. And custom Italian suits.

    I am mildly shocked (for lack of a better term) at the negitivity and depression in these comments.

    My two cents:

    1. Go to South Beach (if you need a spot in the USA) ASAP.

    2. Swoop some Models.

    3. Light up a cigarette.

    4. Negativity gone.

    5. listen to this track http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mT_oEEi4Jwc

    6. Repeat steps 2 and 3.

    – MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Top Ten Urban Artists.

  65. happy pharmer December 4, 2008 at 3:44 am

    Hey Roosh,

    I’ve enjoyed your writing for some time now. I’ve always wanted to start a site of my own, and this posting gave me a starting point. Thanks and keep up the good writing

    happy pharmer’s last blog post: The Clock is Ticking.

  66. AE December 4, 2008 at 4:52 am

    Brave post to write… thanks for being real with us. Hope you get your groove back soon

  67. Edward Bartlett December 4, 2008 at 8:50 am

    Roosh you’ve clearly been in DC for way too long!

  68. RW December 4, 2008 at 9:43 am

    Only problem with LA and South Beach is that if you want to live by the code of your zipper, yes you w ill find inspiration, without a doubt.

    But you will not find a more shallow and self-centered group of biyatches in all the world. Hell, you can’t even find a bookstore in South Beach.

    When my buddy went to LA to be a writer, he lived in West Hollywood. We get on the elevator in his building and in comes some typical LA hottie. No words exchanged. When she gets out he said he sees her all the time but she never says hi. In LA the exodus of hot chicks there is self-absorbed to the max. And if a chick doesn’t think you can get her work and move her ahead then there’s no reason for her to even talk to you. My buddy was married but regardless.

    And in South Beach, you can do a lot better with the internationals who come there. The hot locals well the only thing that gets those chicks hot is the scent of green as in cash.

    The Cuban women are the exception. They are just lovely.

    My little time in DC suggests that the women with most favored status must be the hookers. It’s like the dead zone down there. Every four or five thinks they are a seven or eight depending on what Federal Agency they work for or something.

    You know lads there is something that is more valuable than a notch anyway. It’s called a connection. If you are fortunate enough to find it in a solid package then you are truly at the height of Maslow’s pyramid.

    If it’s the right one, the sun will shine brighter, your breathing is a little deeper and everything taste better. If you are wrong of course you are in for a hard lesson to be learned.

    As for the player in “The Wedding Singer” I hope no one goes off that ledge. That guy went from player to beta in record speed.

    Roosh you are probably better off in a foreign land where the hottie has a purer view of life and has not been polluted by Cosmpolitan magazine, TV Shopping networks and the decayed culture we call western civilization.

    I speak of the land of the beauties with the “girl next door” charm: Eastern Europe.

    There now I’ve said it and you need to write me a check for I have shown you the path grasshopper.

  69. Anonymous December 4, 2008 at 10:44 am

    @46 he probably is. still, made for interesting discussion.

  70. LanierHts December 4, 2008 at 10:47 am

    Imagine if all the effort and thought put into analyzing Roosh was directed at something like global warming or the economic crisis…

  71. Brian December 4, 2008 at 10:57 am

    Eastern Europe is very strong. I’ve been to alot of European countries and the girls of Eastern Europe are the best looking. The problem w/those places are once you start dating a beautiful, stylish, eager to please Eastern European girl American girls are pretty much ruined forever. Its like skiing Aspen, then coming back to the east coast and going to Whitetail. You get there and pretty much realize its going to suck.

  72. RW December 4, 2008 at 11:07 am

    Have family with the US Embassy and they have been in a bunch of places. The word among the circuit is the farther east you go, the more beautiful the women.

    Made a mistake when I had a biz event to go to in Ireland (only the stouter heavier female genes survived the famine) and didn’t take up the invitation I had to go to Bucharest, Romania where family was stationed.

    My uncle who was married said that if he wasn’t, that Bucharest would have changed that. The also had been in Warsaw and I missed that too. But their last jaunt was in Kiev, Ukraine and I made that one right during the Orange Revolution.

    It was winter but it didn’t matter. I never saw so many beautiful women and so many with that “American girl next door” look in my life.

    Since I was staying with family I couldn’t really explore much on my own. But if I get another chance….. it’s going to be a permanent solution. My buddy chides me and makes jokes about mail order brides (he’s a remarried beta) but I have family roots there and I said it ain’t mail order baby if you go back to the old country and find a beautiful lady.

    2009 is make or break I’ve decided.

    Of course the sugary soft powder snow isn’t forgotten when you come back. But then again, do you really want to forget how to discriminate from amongst the bad attitudes. A lot of women here will let that genie out of the bottle and quick.

    Globalization should be making an impact here too in a new way.

  73. Benedict Smith December 4, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    late at night, in the dark, next to my girlfriend…i wonder if i cling to being unfaithful b/c without the sex and women there would be nothing whatsoever to consume my days and thoughts.

    Benedict Smith’s last blog post: Benedict Attends College Night – Humor Ensues.

  74. Anonymous December 4, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    #67
    Hmm?/Hey Ive tried to read your blog and it sorta flys right over my head like a space shuttle in orbit.
    if you notice here,roosh is getting a shit load(sorry roosh i didnt mean to curse on your blog)
    responses on this current post.
    Yes people ARE deppressed!its why so manly have responded because so many are feeling it now adays.
    Pussy wont really remedy it either,and that is what Roosh is basically saying from the heart.
    I respect your blog style G manifesto,but I m not sure if you really are “on the pulse”of what is going on in most peoples current realities in the day by day.
    Maybe i should watch more Mtv cribs and read a bunch of GQ mags and Source mag etc.. to understand you but This “magnificent lifestyle” is a small percentage of folks in our population not most of us out here who are out of work in this crappy economy,I lot of us dont care about flashy nigs with rented luxuary cars and platinum teeth in shit in their BS rap videos.Its pretty much Fantasy land.They all go back home to their trophy wives they met when they were in college who may leave them any day,and have 2-3 mistresses on the side.Whoopee! thats great for them,and most of us arent envious of them either,America doesnt care.
    But I guess thats why its a free counrty so everyone has the right to say what they want.Roosh will come around im sure, everyone does.

  75. The G Manifesto December 4, 2008 at 12:39 pm

    “but I m not sure if you really are “on the pulse”of what is going on in most peoples current realities in the day by day.”

    I couldn’t agree more. Many times I feel like mentally I am so far out of the typical American consciousness its crazy.

    In fact I know I am. But I am fine with that.

    “Maybe i should watch more Mtv cribs and read a bunch of GQ mags and Source mag”

    All wrong.

    Only watch Mtv cribs to do research to heist people.

    GQ: written by gay guys. Not like there is anything wrong with being gay, but its the wrong road.

    Source: Fake hip hop mag. No Value there.

    Read The G Manifesto.

    And Roosh’s blog of course.

    – MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Real Hip-Hop: Shyheim, On And On feat June Luva.

  76. Anonymous December 4, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    #78
    at least your being honest but “who are you exactly’?
    No one really see’s anything about you on your blog.
    maybe an “about me”section should be put in your site G.
    But I guess Id rather not want to know really.Maybe your just a regular joe just like the rest of us dreaming of fantasy land.

  77. The G Manifesto December 4, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    “who are you exactly’?

    Do me a favor. Actually, you can get a pretty good idea from The G Manifesto.

    “No one really see’s anything about you on your blog.”

    It’s by design.

    “maybe an “about me”section should be put in your site G.”

    You can deduce it from the writings.

    “But I guess Id rather not want to know really.Maybe your just a regular joe just like the rest of us dreaming of fantasy land.”

    Believe it if it makes you feel better.

    – MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Real Hip-Hop: Shyheim, On And On feat June Luva.

  78. schadenfreude December 5, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    so anyway, if anyone on here had the same opinion or problem as roosh, and i saw quite a few, but too lazy to read, go watch a ton of james bond flicks. all 22. (they come on a box set or get up on your bit torrent downloads). its not about nailing all the bitches. its about nailing the good ones.
    up the games, folks. oh yeah, and take some of that effort you put into “game” and apply it to bosses, jobs, cash flow, anything at all lucrative. you’d be shocked by how well it goes.
    there will always be women, but when the world isnt enough, youll find them coming to you.

  79. Bryant December 6, 2008 at 10:19 am

    Sounds like you’re distressed, but this happens to everyone.

    Women become dramatically less fertile around age 30.

    Men, too, have less desire for sex as they reach age 30 or so.

    It’s always been this way. Consider this excerpt from Malcolm X’s autobiography where he discusses working as a pimp in New York City in the mid-1940’s: “The prostitutes had to make it their business to be students of men. They said that after most men passed their virile twenties, they went to bed mainly to satisfy their egos, and because a lot of women don’t understand it that way, they damage and wreck a man’s ego. No matter how little virility a man has to offer, prostitutes make him feel for a time that he is the greatest man in the world. That’s why these prostitutes had that morning rush of business. More wives could keep their husbands if they realized their greatest urge is to be men.”

  80. Oaks December 7, 2008 at 5:56 pm

    I know that you have gotten many comments and suggestions. One that I will give you is to change up the game. Why don’t you try to laid famous bitches and write about your experience.

    Oaks’s last blog post: New Apartment So Far….

  81. Harshhira December 8, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    I will admit i haven’t read through all the comments above so this may have already been said
    a lot of people when they get to the top of their game in any area miss the lack of challenge and many of them decide to go and teach to bring the challenge back. you may be able to help students with challenges u have faced and help them understand better

  82. Anonymous December 9, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    Start helping others. It’s that simple. No need to run off to another country right now. Your best place to change your gears is right where you are.

  83. Anonymous December 25, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    I just found your blog, and find your views pretty similar to mine. Ever since finding the pick up community a few years ago, I went from being ok with women to being able to hook-up with girls I never would have dreamed of a few years ago. My entire reality shifted, and it was a fun time. Nowadays though I tend to find myself somewhat jaded and unmotivated. When showing some of my buddies pictures of the women I’ve been with and telling them ‘yeah she is hot, but I don’t really like her’ they all tell me ‘wtf is wrong with you I’d put up with her shit just to date her’ LOL and here I am with a hot girl and I don’t even care about her cause they are a dime a dozen. And what happened to my goal of eventually settling down with one woman? Well that’s gone too. Like a previous poster said ‘why oh why didn’t I take the BLUE pill’

  84. Anonymous March 2, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    Funny how for so long your purpose in life had been to:
    A) to bang women…

    …when one of your cardinal rules is to:

    B) not put women on a pedestal.

    The hypocrisy there is blinding.

    You got played by your own want of the pu$$y. Women played you or should I say WOMANKIND played you. They had something you wanted and you went and sucked it dry of its life-giving elixir rather than taking it in well-rationed doses from longer term relationships from which you would learn the next level-up in human experience; compassion and empathy. Yes, you played a watered-down, skin-n-bones version of the structure at the core of all human interaction, but in that form, as you’ve found, it can’t be sustained. It’s about having all your balls in the air at the same time, concurrently developing multi-levels. You stripped your life down to the barest of material essentials to play a game that was human meaning at its barest of essentials. If it’s any wonder as to the fucked up nature of the available pool of women it’s because they’ve been waiting for the guys to stop sating their c0ck$ and to start engaging in that old “beta male game” of sating women’s emotions. You’ll find that route, essentially, is far more lucrative venture along with being more intellectually demanding of you so you get something out of it by exercising your mind which is NECESSARY if you plan on living past 60yo with your brain(or even just the capacity for experiencing your finer, subtler, life-affirming emotions) still in tact. It’s all mutually beneficial. Many women are a mess at the same age as you because they are more highly sensitive(socially, emotionally, “cognitively”) but that’s only because they are biologically capable of being a great sounding-board for how well your “game” is holding up. And don’t storylines become more complex and rewarding the more details are incorporated? (a woman’s keen memory keeping you on your toes to keep the “narrative” fresh and interesting for her). And I’m not talking about demoting to beta-male status to please some ball-busting nag… but creating something you yourself AND a well-chosen woman wants in this world. “Date coaching services” sounds good: now evolve it into a “counseling clinic” and hunt for a degreed professional that could enrich that saleable process and that’s the woman you need to get with to make this last decade of your life live on after your book(s) and Starbux coaching classes.
    But this idea of the “annoying fractured girl”… that’s only part of the view which happens to be from the perspective of a “self-serving, small-plans boy”. So a relationship that benefits you both in the long run: that’s what you’ve thus far failed to make room to incorporate into your canvas. Which is why it’s so very simplistic right now and leading to cognitive decay (the first signs of which are this depression; I’m up-to-date in reading March 2, 2009.).
    Learnin’ new stuff and reading literature in your free time … it gets pointless without a greater use beyond fodder for chatting up the next pu$$y. “Knowledge” has to have a more complex and integrated relationship to your goal/purpose/actions than that old payoff.
    But believe me when I say no one can hold any of it against you since if I remember right you were brought up by parents that tainted that relationship format and I know quite well the limits that *nurture*(ie: developmental experience bias) has on the shape of perceived possibilities in life.
    If I seem condescending or patronizing it’s only because I myself am the moron, not you…it’s not even meant to be implied in subtext or anything, either. Just more anonymity dissolving the borders of good taste in advice. You’ve done some amazing work and spun and cut your own cloth when others just buried themselves to cover their nakedness, so to speak. Make enough for two and she’ll do the stitching.
    All the best.

  85. Jason January 27, 2010 at 6:51 am

    Time for a new challenge. Pull multiples on a given night, pull multiples for first time lays, etc.

    Maybe its time for a new hobby – optimism, perhaps.

  86. another Brazilian October 6, 2012 at 11:17 am

    Hey, Roosh. This post is as old as the hills but I’d like to say it. There are pleasures better than sex, and I didn’t know it. It was a huge relief realizing that — and it’s been a thrill since.

    All my gratefulness for your books and blog \o

  87. Rorkus November 6, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    Thanks for posting this… it’s reassuring to know that without darkness there is no light and that even the gurus hit the same lows as the rest of us.