The Thrill Is Gone

“Missions are stupid, Tereza. I have no mission. No one has. And it’s a terrific relief to realize you’re free, free of all missions.”
The Unbearable Lightness Of Being

There used to be no obstacles in my path to sex. I had the strong desire followed by unlimited will that allowed me to sleep with a lot of women, something that I felt was necessary to make me a real man. I put up with all sorts of attitude, bullshit, flakiness, and frustration to make it happen.

Now the path is obstructed with debris. She’s not putting in enough effort. She’s not from the right country. She’s stupid. She lives too far. She’s too old. She’s not sensual or emotional. She has fat arms. She’s a lawyer. Something is always in the way of putting in a full effort, whereas a couple years ago it never came up.

It wasn’t long ago that I cherished the vagina (the organ, not the woman attached to it). I’d take almost any abuse for the chance to abuse it. I didn’t mind doing whatever was necessary, whatever the cost. The pursuit was completely pure.

The problem came about when I realized that women are as much of a source of unhappiness as happiness. Most are simply not worth the time, squirting vagina or not, and the costs associated with laying 95% of them exceeds the sexual benefits gained. And the benefits go down with increasing age: what was exciting when I was 22 is an afterthought at 29. There is little thrill in sticking a new vagina.

I’m at the stage where there is nothing left to prove or accomplish. No additional notch will make me a better person or more of a man than I am now. I’ve hit the point of diminishing return. As a result I have this basal level of game effort determined by my physical needs alone. It’s a lot lower than when I had something to prove. When I had a chip on my shoulder.

I was at a club with a friend and I told him how I’m barely motivated or inspired. He gave me a vigorous pep talk and told me I needed to stop being a lazy bitch. To get what was mine. I was pumped. That night I went to sleep ready to do what it takes to build a massive harem of girls. But the next day I woke up as apathetic as ever.

My mind refuses to allow me to work on something where it knows there is little gain. I’m afraid I’ve passed the peak of sexual conquest. Of quantity. Unless the girl is special or different in some way, or gives me a flag for better understanding of the world, then I can’t just go through the motions.

It feels like I’ve lost my main purpose in life.

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dman
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dman
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getting exercising man
it will put a better shine on life
go for a run! grin

Andrew
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Andrew
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Funny – a year ago you were vigorously defending yourself and your life against people who questioned it, and now you’re admitting that you feel like it has lost its purpose. Perhaps they had something worth listening to.

DeusExMachina
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Bravo Roosh…. That is the truth for so many of us who have swallowed the proverbial “red pill”. We awaken, we grow, and score, and eventually long for what we felt before we swallowed that “red pill”.

Good luck in finding what you are looking for.

Westlondon
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Westlondon
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Jesus christ, that describes my situation exactly.
I went through university picking up girls left right and centre until my standards went up and up and up. Now i find fault with all girls, and have literally no motivation whatsoever.
The irony is every blue moon i meet someone i really like – now i dont know how to behave. Ive lost that arrogance of not giving a fuck that used to work like a treat. Im good looking so they give me the time of day and a date and maybe a kiss and then i fuck it up – why? because im just honest and play no games with them.
This has been continuously happening to me the last year. advice someone????????????
ps im in argentina which is NOT helping, girls here are weird.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Maybe you can turn this blog into finding long, healthy relationships. I know you’ll find a bigger audience.

rdj
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rdj
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Wow Roosh. This looks like a post from a guy ready to move on, to retire to your cabin in the woods, brew your own whiskey high in the mountains and rock in your chair smoking your pipe all day.

It sounds like you need a new project to me, and give the va-jay-jay a break for a while.

Lemmonex
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Women can think of just as many reasons not to get with a guy–he is going bald, he is unmotivated, he is inarticulate, he tries too hard, he is a flake–but I guess you just have to wait for the right one to come along. It is tiring though, and the older we get, the more you realize you are dealing with the reject pile.

Lemmonex’s last blog post: Holiday Gift Guide v 2.0.

the_alpha_male
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the_alpha_male
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You need HRT imo.

Simon
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Simon
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Maybe you should change your main purpose in life to something else. Like getting a real job or not living in your parents basement.

Nina
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Nina
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I noticed that you have lacked your motivation. Your writing doesn’t show your angry or hunger as used to.
Maybe you just let go “the one” because you are so worried with your pursuit and didn’t really noticed her.
Maybe she will come yet. Maybe not.
But maybe this is a good sign.
who knows?
Good luck, anyways.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Sounds like you have a spiritual problem.

Alternatively, now that you’ve completed your mission, you need a new one, unrelated to women.

prinks
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prinks
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maybe you need a vacation? you had fun in south america, now try somewhere else…

virgle kent
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What if the thrill isn’t really gone, it’s just that there’s nothing left here to get thrilled about? Especially since you’ve fornicated with half the city… wait what?

As far as squirting vaginas go, they’re not all that they’re cracked up to be. In theory it’s seems cool, till it actually happens to you. Then you sit there and think to yourself… “what if that had hit me in the eye or even gotten in my mouth or up my nose” ewwwww I could never be a girl.

Ben
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Ben
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You know that displaying this kind of vulnerability will just turn on more chicks. Well played, sir, well played.

The world is a more amazing place than you can imagine. Go explore it.

In women, as well as in men, look for personality traits that you admire and want to copy. You will mimic those you surround yourself with.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Great post Roosh!,Bravo.
You pretty much hit it on the head as far as guys in our age range 27-35.who are dealing with women 27-35 that are desperate for lovin due to gods biological clock he put on them.
If you feel this way now.it’ll get worse in your 30’s.Trust me.(all the other kiddies that are in their mid 20’s, enjoy the life while you can)
But yes.sometime you just need a good friend to slap some sense into you on why you should still get inspired.
But its hard when you dont give a shit that much.I know i get like this now.
our sex drives aren’t the same at 29 as they were @22.And experience tells us that what was important to us when we were younger loses its luster as time goes on.
Hence the motivation for most things is gone with age.
Its funny how in the big picture of a mans life how his dick is the primary motivator for all things he has accomplished or still is.
But there is more to life than just constant women though.experience has tought me that with age, They need favors,secretly want to get pregnant due to their time clock,need their electric bill paid,need to marry an american for a green card,had mad torrential cock in their prime and now here “prince charming” comes along(a Bang book graduate) to save them from their miserable lives they lead now as a result(most american women). the list goes on.But its like one good friend of mine used to say when I was stating my lack of inspiration in women and life in general”he said”
hey! women are a necessary evil in life, god put them here for all men to enjoy(and I guess now adays other women too).Good luck,and great book buddy,cheers.

Anonymous
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Are you kidding me? You sound like… one of about three girls I talked to at the bar last night (replace “I want to visit Italy someday” with “my purpose in life”). So I have the same problem I with them: Do I care? No.

Angelo De La Vega
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Great post Roosh, I’ve been feeling that way for sometime now. The dark and lonely thrown room of the bachelor king… the men that envy him are ignorant of his infinite boredom.

Angelo De La Vega’s last blog post: Time for The Fall..

adrock
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adrock
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Great post Roosh. Regarding any passion, it’s a bit sad and confusing when the flame dwindles. What now?

@13 re: squirting vaginas – I had a girlfriend throughout college that squirted. Though it was fun for a while, it was seriously like dumping a bucket of water on the bed. Not too much fun for sleeping in the bed afterward. Though, it brings me pleasure to know that I seriously ruined a number of college mattresses, sofas and pool tables.

Angelo De La Vega
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Oops… I mean Throne not thrown.

Angelo De La Vega’s last blog post: Time for The Fall..

Shaman
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I hate that there’s people on here who aren’t community and don’t understand this stuff: “maybe you should start blogging about healthy relationships…”, “we told you so 2 years ago” (hold your nose and say the above quoted in an annoying nasal voice).

Shut the fuck up…

Anonymous
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#4 I think you need to go one country over to Brazil.
Argentinian women are cold and a pain vs.Brazilian very willing and tenacious with their men.”You cant rape the willing”Good luck.

Wiscanadian
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wait, are turning into a past her prime spinster? Or are you just looking for girls that find that banging douches and flirting for free drinks also doesn’t have the same lustre it used to?

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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i appreciate the honesty

mike says
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mike says
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Great post, keep us tuned in as you work through this. I think a lot of your core readers are going through the same thing and could use the mirror.

thegrimytraveler
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Roosh, I think its time for another trip man. I get like this sometimes and once I touch down in another country the juices start to flow again.

Arjewtino
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Congratulations. You’re almost 30.

Arjewtino’s last blog post: 7 more lawsuits inspired by the eHarmony case.

The G Manifesto
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This all sounds like you have been in Washington DC too long.

“Now the path is obstructed with debris. She’s not putting in enough effort. She’s not from the right country. She’s stupid. She lives too far. She’s too old. She’s not sensual or emotional. She has fat arms. She’s a lawyer.”

This sounds like someone who has been to South America.

To quote the comment I left on your last post:

“A change of venue is what you need. You need to stay “inspired”

Try for instance:

The Spearmint Rhino, Las Vegas on a Tues night at 3am.

Punta del Este this winter.

Model parties this winter in Miami Beach.

Socialite Museum gigs in NYC.

Rio

Dope gig in Hollywood Hills filled with fly actress girls with bit parts on Entourage.

That should keep you inspired for a while.

Otherwise you are just casting javelins at flamingos.

– MPM”

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: DC’s Wale Breaks it Down in Los Angeles.

Doug
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I’m with you on this. That’s the thing with conquests… after you’ve completed one, it’s boring to do it all over again. So you up the ante to keep the excitement. But you can’t keep upping the ante forever… so then you go back home and try to figure out something else to conquer.

Doug’s last blog post: Randomly Rambunctious Reunion Remarks.

Ninja Zombie
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El Guapo commented (over on Roissy’s page) on why sluts make bad prospects:

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/love-in-the-time-of-game/#comment-36960

“The other factor is whether or not the bonding mechanism has been damaged. Sex is the bonding force behind romantic relationships. If the promiscuity has made the male “just another man”, the relationship will self-destruct.”

Maybe this happens to man sluts also.

Tampa
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Tampa
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After you fuck all the bitches, usually a dude heads for the halls of power. Then after he reaces that pinnacle of power he starts fucking the 20 year olds again. Then he retires from that for some stiff whiskey sours and the local strip joint. He chooses the strip joint because he is tired of the dinners and bullshit and figures “why not just cut to the chase?”

Then after that, he turns about 78 and heads for the villages retirment communtiy and bangs all the old ladies and drinks beer with his fellow 80 year olds. Then he loses his mind, heads for a nursing home and dies.

Life is a wonderful thing.

zephyrprime
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zephyrprime
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Oh my god. You may actually have to look for some meaning in your life now rather than just relying upon placating instincts.

Rudy
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Rudy
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Drink heavily and often. It worked for me till I woke up in rehab. But it DID work.

Rudy’s last blog post: disturbed, entertained, and possibly aroused.

The G Manifesto
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Tampa,

“After you fuck all the bitches, usually a dude heads for the halls of power. Then after he reaces that pinnacle of power he starts fucking the 20 year olds again. Then he retires from that for some stiff whiskey sours and the local strip joint. He chooses the strip joint because he is tired of the dinners and bullshit and figures “why not just cut to the chase?”

Then after that, he turns about 78 and heads for the villages retirment communtiy and bangs all the old ladies and drinks beer with his fellow 80 year olds. Then he loses his mind, heads for a nursing home and dies.

Life is a wonderful thing.”

Wow. You really broke it all down to the last molecule. Great work. I see my future. If I don’t end up in a pool of blood drunk on champagne from Sicily (Prosecco).

“cutting to the chase” is a beautiful thing too.

I like to keep a diversified portfolio of Exotic Dancers and Civilians going at all times.

Not too much of one or the other.

Keeps things interesting.

“Drink heavily and often.”

Great advice too.

Drugs can also do the trick, but you need to be careful with those as well.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: DC’s Wale Breaks it Down in Los Angeles.

speakeasy
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speakeasy
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The irony of this all is that Roosh should be happy, not perplexed. Now I have no idea how many girls Roosh has banged in his life as he never goes into any detail about his conquests. Let’s assume the number is high and he has hit the law of diminishing returns, well that’s a sign that it’s time to move on. He accomplished something most guys never will, to get enough ass that they lose their desire to keep chasing more. I would give ANYTHING to be in that position. At that point, you can then focus on meeting a nice woman that you can settle down with, and feel like you choose that situation instead of settled for it.

I’m 32, I’ve only slept with 3 women in my life. I met a very nice girl early this year I’ve been sorta dating, and she’s the type of girl I could end up married to I decide to fully pursue a relationship. But I also have that nagging in the back of my head that says, “dude you have ONLY slept with 3 women in your life including this girl, I have not had the chance to sow my wild oats” and if I get serious with this girl, I am going to be unhappy feeling like I missed out on so much.

I wish I was in your shoes Roosh. If I’d even slept with 10 women, I’d feel infinitely better. Be glad you hit the holy grail dude. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling about this whole thing, it’s called growing up and an innate desire to move on to bigger and better things. Life isn’t entirely about chasing after a pink hole for perpetuity. We want to feel like we’ve had enough to feel like we experienced what we wanted to, but that’s not the whole point of life, jumping from bed to bed. You’ve got yours and now you are freed up to look for something more substantial. I’d rather be your situation than mine!

zpr
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zpr
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It happens to all of us and usually at the age you are now. The next part is the hardest in that you have a choice of two paths. They both consist of still going out and experiencing all of what life has to offer but putting vagina in the take or leave it box. After that you can either develop a sexually debilitating cynicism towards all women which means doing anything with a girl besides screwing her is a waste of your time. Or you can realize that women are more then a vagina in that they provide a different experience and perspective that you can always learn from. At least then you can still not really care and might luck into something unique.

zpr’s last blog post: Retirement is still a scam.

Atheist Messiah
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Atheist Messiah
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stop smoking so much weed!

lol

really though, it sounds like you’re writing on a gnar gnar weed hangover.

Eugenius
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Eugenius
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I know what you mean…..one of the problems though is the availability of quality porn, you almost have to crave the social aspect of interaction with women as well as the chase, in order to get away from your “favorite website” smile

Ok reality as I see it: You have really focused on the “game” area of your life for a while now, perhaps longer than you intended to, I think, no I know that you are over it. Your mind and body was devoted to this for an extended period of time, you kept tweaking it, and just like any project it got boring. I know you well and while you’ve accomplished what you wanted to accomplish in this particular area, its time for new goals/challenges.

The game will always be interesting and the skills you’ve acquired will be useful, and whether it is temporary or not does not matter.

Maybe I shouldn’t be the one to speak as my life may seem boring at this time, but I can tell you that there can be pleasure in many other things, even things that sounded boring to us five years ago are actually more exciting today. I think a cool long term relationship will be the magic pill, it will eliminate the stench of this boring ass town with its many fake people. It has for me. You also wont have to look for another country to visit to have fun, or another girl to bang… your focus will shift. smile

The G Manifesto
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Everyone here is sulking too much.

Bottom line: Any activity you do in life is heightened by swooping a beautiful girl along with it.

Being a true International Playboy is one in a million. Most people have a better shot at making the NBA.

I have seen many so called “players” come and go.

The Game is mental. Everyone needs to toughen up and not let negativity get a hold of you.

Swooping a beautiful girl usually is the best antidote.

Travel, Beautiful women, Wine, Cigarettes, Money, and Beautiful Women are what life is all about.

Not necessarily in that order.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: DC’s Wale Breaks it Down in Los Angeles.

ez
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ez
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Not working for a long period of time can take a toll on the soul and one morale.
I felt like shit when I was unemployed for 7 months.I then took a regular job.which I sorta hate but I feel better nodays about shit in general.
I ran across rooshs blog and he really inspired me to up my game when it come to women.
I avioded doing it for years because”i thought I needed mad status to pull women”nonsense”I am suprised on the caliber I can pull and even give me attention now that I am trying.
You may not know it now but you do inspire guys out here more than you realize.
anyways lets move on.tomorrows a new day.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Time to start looking for “the one” buddy, start a family and have mini version of you wink

ez
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ez
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Yeah i think #40 is right.

todd h
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todd h
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41 and 42 are right i think

goofiuss
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goofiuss
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it is time to consider seeking quality, rather than quantity.

Paul
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Paul
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sounds like sagging testosterone

either that, or Roosh is imagining settling down with some chick, and then getting cuckolded and then being forced to pay alimony and child support. Even thinking about that is withering, and reduces testosterone, and erodes an Alpha into a sniveling Beta.

BANG’ing chicks Roosh style is best done when one is underemployed, or unemployed. Those making respectable coin are shooting live ammo valued at $250k or more.

dchero
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dchero
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unsatisfied with and without pussy. life is a fucking bitch, isn’t it

dchero’s last blog post: The Hook.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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people, what if he is joking!!!

actually, even if he is joking, it doesnt matter, because my prediction for Rooshv is that for a certain amount of time he will cool down, but then he will have a couple years where his sex addiction peaks again (and unlike most of us, since this guy is a player he will ***reflexively*** start picking up chicks again), but then he hits about 32/33 where it really becomes impossible for him because his force has been drained. At the most, he will have to be like his friend Roissy who (and yes, these guys are very interesting so I read their blogs regularly) once posted asking about steroids and where to get them. Rooshv will at that point be in a similar situation where he will need steroids to get that same pseudo-manic energy needed to pick up chicks.

RW
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RW
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Not a shock to see this as one guy in college recounted his feelings as he had taken full advantage of his game. I guess he confessed to me because he felt I was a peer. Really we were different because I was always into quality. And I knew some of the girls he hit and felt no desire to go that route.

He laid it all out and said, “It’s lonely.”

You know when it becomes mechanical it doesn’t mater whether it’s due to being with the wrong girlfriend or the wrong girl.

For me quality is still the issue, the only issue. And I define it for myself. Sometimes I’m wrong, women have a way to feign who they think you want them to be, but in the end I have always been able to allow spells of time to be alone.

For every piece of exquisite fruit, there are many that won’t pass muster and others that in retrospect were not what we hoped.

To each his own, but the physical quest in and of itself can often be tiring to the soul. That’s as costly as allowing some chick to take over your wallet.

ez
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ez
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#47 this reminds me of that scene in The Wedding Singer with Adam Sandler where that Player friend of his with the red Micheal Jackson jacket confesses how he was actually “lonely”and all he wanted was someone to hold on to.

Anonymous
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I’m not drawing parallels to you Roosh, but reading this made me think you and other readers might find it interesting an ex-friend of mine who is in his very late 20’s and just “found game” two to three years ago. As a disclaimer, I know nothing about game, and you guys could make the argument it would augment my success with women, but I’m at the point where I don’t need any boosting — I do just fine with women on a regular basis. I’ve had both good and bad long term relationships, I’ve fucked smart, reasonably sober good looking girls in their early 20’s on the floor of a bathroom having met them only hours earlier at a house party. I’ve nailed a few neighbors when living in various apartment buildings. Might not be the wildest of experiences, but I’ve had my share and a good mix of everything. Anyway, I had a friend who turned into a gamer. He’s now pathetic, in that his only goal in life is to get laid. You can’t have a conversation with him, you can’t depend on him for the slightest thing, nothing. He’s reading all these pop-culture psychology books that will “help his game” and recommending them all. He doesn’t get why people get pissed at him, and apparently it is a condition to him that he shouldn’t (1) show up not being an extremely major douche every time (2) be the least bit dependable and not drop everything for the chance of POTENTIAL pussy. Gets old after a while.

The funny thing is the girls he’s met, emailed me pics, etc are not that great looking or special. I’ve never told him, but I’ve slept with over 25 girls and a lot of them are ones if he saw the nude pictures I have of them, he’d be amazed at. It’s seriously that bad, hence we’re no longer friends. At any rate, with this particular fellow I think it’s pathetic his major goal in life, 90% of everything he does is to get laid. Partly is the way he goes about doing it, as he’s bad at it all and has sacrificed his personality and who he is as a person.

The way I see it, pussy is nice, but it’s by no means an end-all to life. I’ve always felt people who drastically change who they are as person, and this change is a negative one, so to speak have lost the game.

Namtab
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Do I smell an “endgame” post coming?

This sounds like a spirituality problem.

Roosh, you’re clearly a talented travel/life writer. Let’s keep the blog going, dial back the girl factor, and talk about getting some meaning out of life as a late 20-something. New day, new blog.