The Train

I went out to a DC bar with a new wingman who didn’t have much approach experience. While he wasn’t well-versed in the art of bar pickup, he’d had several sexual partners in the past and wasn’t fearful of stepping out of his comfort zone.

There wasn’t much action at the bar, so we talked about the concepts we’d be applying momentarily. A petite blonde finally sat near us and after a couple minutes I realized that she was alone. For shits and giggles, I told my friend that we were going to run a train on her.

He started a conversation with her and pulled me into it. Over the next twenty minutes, we developed a good cop/bad cop vibe where I was aloof and cutting while he asked personal questions and was polite. They talked for some time until she got a little bored and turned to me. I’d unleash a fury of cockiness and teasing until she’d feign anger and go back to the safety of my friend. Periodically I’d whisper in his ear, “Choo, choo, the train is coming.”

For a while, we both believed it had a good chance of happening, until I noticed that something was wrong with the girl. She seemed slow, more than alcohol alone could explain. We’d say something to her, she’d give us a deer-in-the-headlights look for several long seconds, and then say, “Huh?” The conversation eventually got stale and she started talking to another guy.

A little farther away, we noticed three slightly frumpy girls drinking in a circle. I opened them with, “Hey, what’s up? This is my friend.” I threw him into the mix and stood in the background, partially to see how he’d perform. When I sensed he was running out of gas, I stepped in and continued the conversation. The petite blonde stared at us from the corner of her eye.

The frumpy girls went to a different floor and we resumed talking to the blonde. It was then that I became more bold. I said, “My friend and I are trying to run the train on you tonight.”

“What?” she said.

“My friend and I aren’t trying to miss the train tonight.”

“Oh, well, it shuts down at midnight. You have time.”

“Yeah, I guess. But do you like the train?” I asked.

“Sure I like the train.”

“Because my friend and I really like the train. We like to take the train and we definitely want to take the train tonight.”

“Umm, okay. Yeah, the train is fine.”

My friend was laughing while my respect for womankind continued its freefall descent. We left her again and rejoined the frumpy girls. They were much more receptive than before and I got into a one-on-one conversation with the least frumpy one. She was barely bangable and not as pretty as the blonde.

I made out with the frumpy chick while my friend returned to the blonde. I’d look over periodically, but I could tell that he wasn’t going to close. He was being too nice when she obviously preferred assholes, and unless he started some outrageous cockiness soon, our hope for the train would be lost forever.

Last call arrived. Moves had to be made. Did I want to take home the frumpy dumpy chick, who seemed a little too willing, or did I want to attempt a train on the blonde with my friend? I took a huddle with him and he admitted that he wouldn’t be able to close her on his own.

I ditched the frumpy chick and said to the blonde, “Hey, do you have anything to drink at your place? We’d like to drink some more, but everywhere is closed.”

“I have some wine, but I don’t know if I could fit both of you inside my place.” I wondered if “my place” was a euphemism for her vagina.

“I mean, do you live in a closet? We just want a quick drink, maybe we can chat a bit, and then we’ll leave.”

“Okay, fine, but my place is really, really small.”

The three of us hopped into a cab and rode to her studio apartment, where she poured a box wine that went untouched. My friend sat on the small couch and I sat on her bed. I then went to the kitchen to “look around,” which was a cue for him to make out with her or do something that would get her more into him, since she was more into me. I returned five minutes later and they were talking about music—not a good sign. It was at that moment that I realized the train wasn’t going to happen. The best option was to throw my friend under the bus and make sure I get the notch.

I looked at her and said, “Hey, do you mind if we take a quick nap? My friend is drunk right now and I don’t think it’s safe if we leave right away. He’s my ride home.”

“That’s fine,” she said.

“I call bed!” I yelled. My friend let out a loud sigh and began his nap on the couch while four feet away I started hooking up with the girl. We banged about ten minutes later. Her body was a pleasant surprise, petite but juicy in all the right places.

A minute after ejaculating, I felt a little guilty about my friend. I devised a plan: I’d go to the bathroom to “clean up” and then just camp out there until they banged. Maybe our train dream could still be realized.

I went to the bathroom, flushed the condom down the toilet, and then washed my dick. I stood there naked with my ear to the door and could hear him making a move to the bed. I smiled when I heard smooching sounds. All I had to do was wait a little while longer until he got his. But then suddenly the girl banged on the bathroom door, calling my name and yelling, “This is weird! I feel weird! What’s going on?” The jig was up.

I opened the door and my friend was back on the couch. The girl had on her pajamas. She looked at me and said, “I’m not that kind of girl.”

“Of course you’re not,” I said, trying my best to withhold laughter. Then she went to the bathroom to wash her vagina or whatever it is that girls do after sex. My friend looked at me sadly and said, “I missed the train.”

I told him to leave immediately and wait outside for me to join him. He left, and when the girl came out of the bathroom she asked about my missing friend.

“Yeah, we just got into a little fight. Look, I really want to stay, but now he’s trying to claim that he doesn’t remember where his car is parked, so I’ll have to leave with him.”

“What? You have to leave right now?”

“Yeah, this sucks. I’m pretty sure he’s lying and salty about something, but I gotta go. I’m real sorry. But, hey, I’ll call you.”

I put on my clothes, got her number, and met my friend outside in the hallway. He reluctantly gave me a high five.

The above story is excerpted from 30 Bangs, a book that describes thirty instances of when I put my penis inside a vagina. Click here to learn more.

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sway
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sway
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Haha love this story. Sounds like something me and my friends would have done.

RobP
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RobP
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Yeah, been there, done that, now just kinda depressing. Hold out for the 8-9 level, otherwise you will hate yourself once you are 40!

Lacedric Towerwood
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Lacedric Towerwood
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Roosh-
Do you still party any at all? With all the read a book and drink some- I’d think you were a Seattle native. You should hit a club and act like your from San Diego or Vegas again. I’ve read your comments about how the Brazilain dude in his 40s was out Sargon like a mad man in the dance floor- it’s because his partying seducing dancing culture helps
Keep him more youthful than the DC grab a copy of The Economist and a cappuccino. Go party and dance for us Roosh and tell us if you could game so chicks.
PS- I hope you hit up Prague. I’ve been searching profiles on several sites and the talent there is pretty respectable. I’d say just as good as Chisinau.

Rakishness
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Rakishness
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“I was aloof and cutting while he asked personal questions and was polite.”

After reading this line I knew how this story would end.

LA
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LA
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Lines and concepts on how to be aloof and cutting in a future entry would be great to learn. You guys can hate it but your birth sign affects personality- I’m a Virgo and too polite. Geminis like Roosh are always on a awesomely hilarious auto pilot- every Gemini I’ve known is really funny even my dog is a Gemini and has a funny entertaining disposition. You Gems are also known to be so sneaky like no one really
Knows who you truly are and us Virgos are like uptight worriers who only relax in intellectualism and sex- and that’s sad. Believe I wish I could TRULY change my personality.

I gotta say “The Roosh V Program” is one of your best. When I’m depressed if I go out and do 4 or 5 approaches I feel better. When I first started I might get 1 out of 10 numbers now its up to 3 out of 10 and I’m an offensive line built heavy guy not a trim gq gamer but my fitness has improved, I just don’t want to get my game right before im too old
To pull the early 20s 8s and 9s but like Roosh says in Bang- you never know a girls type and the more you do the better you get. It’s like Michael Jordan in the NBA- he missed a ton of shots but he’s also one of the highest scorers in the history of the game.

Twenty
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Twenty
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I thought Virgos didn’t believe in astrology.

LA
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LA
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Haha- that was a witty reply.

I used to hate people talking about that topic myself but I’m always analyzing people and the patterns of behavior are so there its not even funny.

To me- hating on personality analysis is asinine machismo bro code talk like all the cheesy Ed Hardy/Tapout wearing dudes in Phoenix AZ (the airport there especially- that’s the cheesier sausage fest of Natty Light swigging Little Caesars eating frat boy wanna be UFC fighter types I’ve ever seen- I think all those morons do all the macho stare down walking around subconsciously from seeing to many UFC ppvs- I think machismo is better acting like a Krav Maga/ IDF type- two glocks and a switched on you, targeting the gonads and throat if you do go hand to hand, and the ability to crawl around in the woods at night with an AR-15).

The whole bro mentality is moronic. I hope they don’t have clubs like that in CZ or Polamd when I go bcuz I can’t stand moron sausage fests- read a book,’get some decenntheeads, and some class bro Nation and know some of us can chop of your nose from 2 feet away in 2 seconds so quit walking down the street like your walking out to a UFC fight clowns.

Twenty
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Twenty
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Ed Hardy isn’t cool anymore?

Truth Teller
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Truth Teller
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Personality analysis is very real. I have a friend who’s very, very good at it. Using astrology to draw conclusions with personality analysis? Not so real.

abroad in PL
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abroad in PL
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clubs in Poland and CZ are also filled with sausage…maybe not Ed Hardy dudes, but fag looking Euro cockblock clone guys nonetheless…you want a hottie, you’ll have to compete. Just telling you the truth man.

Raul
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Raul
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“The war on beauty” and “the beauty exception” were two of your best posts. But i think u don’t use that humorous tone anymore. I wonder if its an aging effect. Where are those “30 types of pussy” days?

Joe
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Joe
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Roosh does seem kind if depressed lately. It could be all the gray skies in Poland during the Winter. I know for me I’m a horny rabbit in the Summer but like maybe just want to bust a nut once a day in The Winter. I still respect Roosh as a man because he was organized and wise enough to tell other loser guys- hey being lonely sucks ass, I was too, the game can be cruel, keep approaching, and don’t be a little wimp just keep hustling for poon.

I think all unwanted to say was Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all the Roosh V fam- this blog and the brotherhood in the comment section and Rooshs intelligent yet pragmatic ways are like a source of home online for me.
Best wishes to all of you.

Fred BISHOP
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Fred BISHOP
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Another B/S fantasy story from rooshit,

Oz
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Oz
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That was fucking hilarioosh.

AssFucker
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AssFucker
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The above story is excerpted from 30 Bangs, a book that describes thirty instances of when I put my penis inside a male rectum. Click here to learn more.

Sorry Roosh. We all know you ass fucked your friend after getting turned down by that fat 40 something blonde.

Pablo Martin Podhorzer
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Pablo Martin Podhorzer
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I think that you used your friend to be compared higher. I think you still go for average women because it will be easy for you to bang them. I know because sometimes I do that myself (the second thing).

Bro-Code Roosh, Bro-Code. You never ever let a friend hanging.

bkw
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bkw
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Bro-code? He tried multiple times to get his friend laid but his friend’s game simply wasn’t good enough, and the girl wasn’t upon for the train. I’d do the same thing if my friend couldn’t pull the trigger. Would rather get laid than watch him struggle and nothing happen and we both lose out. Common sense.

FZF
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FZF
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Feeling lazy? This seems like a random filler post.

Roosh_V
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Roosh_V
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Yuuup. You don’t put your best stuff on the slowest day of the year.

lufty
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lufty
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At this point with all the content he has posted, Roosh has earned the right to throw out a few filler posts.

pup
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pup
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I’d love to know the names of some of the bars in DC he frequents. I’m new to this website, but been in DC for decades…

CELTA Certified
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CELTA Certified
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Roosh (or anyone knowledgeable out there), I am currently teaching english in Istanbul, Turkey for the first time. There seems to be a happening night club scene (in the Taksim Square district) but I have not had a chance to check it out. I am more a Day Game person. Does anyone have advice for running game on Turkish girls in Turkey? The dynamics here do seem similar to Bang Ukraine (girls hellbent on marrying a stable guy while they are young, but will secretly hook up with an alpha when no one’s looking). Lots of hot girls with tatoos who are kinda/sorta muslim. Lots of “good girls” who might turn “bad” with the right approach.Anybody got advice?

theakinet
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theakinet
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Gilgamesh
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Gilgamesh
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Stories like this make me want to learn how to work alone instead.

Tyler
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Tyler
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He sure can be a polite guy. I remember once me and VK went back to these two girls’ house and he just hung out, and was extremely persistent with the story he was a porn star producer. It was funny…Unfortunately there was no train that night either.

SpecialFester
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SpecialFester
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2 people is not a train.

“Chugga-chug CHOO CHOO, what the fuck you goin’ do?”
“Chugga-chug CHOO CHOO, what’d it do, what’d it do?”
“Chugga-chug CHOO CHOO, what the fuck you goin’ do?”
“Chugga-chug CHOO CHOO, what’d it do, what’d it do?”

“We runnin’ trains on yo’ girl, we runnin’ trains on yo’ sister,”
“I fucked that dirty ho! But then I had to diss her”
“I said pimpin’ is my game, 5-star is my claim”
“You wanna step to me? You better bring yo’ pisto’ ”

~All Aboard, by GUNN Posse

Be.Mccoy
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Be.Mccoy
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Things i randomly say to girls because because:
“Choo, choo, the train is coming.”
“Bring the movies.”
“It’s Ok. I won’t judge yo–wait.. no. That was some really fucked up shit”

BringerOfTheTruth
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BringerOfTheTruth
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You disappoint me. I didnt think that was your style.