Every stage of your life, no matter how high up the ladder you climb, will have a problem. By solving one problem you will introduce another, and while subsequent problems can be smaller in severity, there will never be a point in your life when you are free of problems or completely satisfied with everything in your environment.

When I was around 25 years old, a time I was experiencing growing success with the game, I had four problems that bothered me:

  • I didn’t like the city I was living in
  • I didn’t have enough free time because I had to spend at least 40 hours a week in a job I didn’t care for
  • I didn’t have as much disposable income as I wanted
  • I didn’t feel attached or deeply interested to the girls I was having sex with

I solved each of these problems over the next few years by quitting my job, selling my writing to achieve a stable income, and traveling to many countries with beautiful and feminine women. I currently have free time to pursue my interests with more disposable income than I need in a city that is better than my hometown in terms of lifestyle and women. But now I have new problems I didn’t have before:

  • I don’t have friends in my new city, leading to feelings of social isolation
  • I don’t have urgent money and girl goals that motivate me, causing me to lack the direction and drive I had before
  • I see women more as a form of entertainment and distraction instead of significantly adding to my life

I know I’m happier now because I would rather live as I am than revert to the life I had at 25, but the difference is quite marginal. The downsides of my current life do weigh on me nearly as much as the previous problems I had, meaning that I’m still preoccupied with issues that I believe is harming my overall quality of life.

If I were to solve my problems today, a new set would undoubtedly emerge. Perhaps I’d have less free time, have to deal with more social circle or girl drama, or feel pressured and stressed by more serious relationships that force me to make larger commitments. Or maybe something spontaneous like a health problem will pop up at the time I was on the verge of “solving” everything.

Even rich and famous people have problems that they didn’t anticipate before they were successful. In John D. Rockefeller’s biography, he lamented the fact that every man who seemed interested in him would hit him up for money on the 18th hole of a leisurely game of golf. People who dreamed of fame and then got it become paranoid about the intentions of others and come to believe that their friends wouldn’t be around had it not been for their star status. Even if you don’t achieve fame, but become wealthy, you may start wondering if your new mini-girlfriend is a goldigger. Every goal you accomplish introduces a cost or burden, and because of that, your overall satisfaction with life will advance more in baby steps than in great leaps, or it may not advance at all.

Of course I’m not giving an excuse for you not to achieve or work hard towards your goals, but we must be realistic on how our day-to-day happiness will change. The sometimes heavy costs of achieving great things tends to balance the problems we set out to solve in the first place, and changing your living environment and lifestyle as I have will introduce new negatives you couldn’t have thought of before.

The buzz of achieving your goals is great indeed, but once the dust settles, it’ll feel less like you’re entering paradise than experiencing a more modest improvement that affects you only slightly. I most definitely prefer my life here in Eastern Europe, but I can’t say I’m twice as happy as before. With the negatives that come from uprooting myself and moving to a foreign land, perhaps I’m only 15% happier. While that is significant enough for me to feel, it’s not the day and night difference I thought it would be.

Read Next: All Experience Is Equal

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Quick Comment
Quick Comment
5 years ago


I see women more as a form of entertainment and distraction instead of significantly adding to my life”
Unfortunately this is how we as men can only view females today, seeing as they have completely become worthless for marriage or serious long term relation.

Adam Rodriguez
Adam Rodriguez
5 years ago
Reply to  Quick Comment

This is certainly true of western countries.

Joseph Dickerson
Joseph Dickerson
5 years ago
Reply to  Quick Comment

I would say this assumption is true for Western women, but women from more traditional societies are still around, and in much larger numbers than Western women. If you want a home maker there are many countries you can go to find that type of woman, you just won’t find her in America or Western Europe, most likely in Asia, Africa, South America, the Middle East, etc.

Alena Thomas
Alena Thomas
5 years ago
Reply to  Quick Comment

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Stack Thornehawk
Stack Thornehawk
5 years ago
Reply to  Quick Comment

Nothing perhaps, that is necessary Quick. There is another purpose to live life, other than for one’s self, and for the squabbling snakes that women are. Another purpose, to find a life. Women have no part of it, in fact, I’ve only found that men are capable of even thinking on this plane of idea. I’m speaking in riddles, but watch, more men will begin to see it, and it is more alluring than the MGTOW.

Quick Comment
Quick Comment
5 years ago

I think I see what you mean.

Luisaceo
5 years ago

What do your American friends from DC think of your life in Europe? Are any of them tempted of making the move? As for the women situation, it’s obvious that you don’t get any fulfillment from the game anymore, it’s just a skill that satisfies a necessity. Until you find something else that is truly worth of your energy, you probably won’t be satisfied. This tweet of yours comes to mind by the way:

shone
shone
5 years ago
Reply to  Luisaceo

-Someone said that that one is as strong as much as amount solitude one can handle
-I think happiness is the kind of gift , you have it or not . There are very few people that have this gift fully developed and consequently able to enjoy every moment of their lives. (Possibly partly genetic , and in any case roots in early childhood)
-Game , is that really what you need? (reading few things at least contradictory , you seem to be looking for “wife” material)
– Not sure that there are ways/techniques that can make you happy man if you do not have gift from above, in any case if there is path it must be the ability to enjoy things not directly touching your life , your ambitions etc. For example being able to recognize beauty (in any form) and enjoy it should make you (a little bit) happier

Ray Wolfson
Ray Wolfson
5 years ago
Reply to  Luisaceo

^ that’s not a fantasy…..

“I don’t have friends in my new city, leading to feelings of social isolation”

This is the problem of being an ex-pat gypsy… I’ve experienced the same… and essentially it’s not only a social problem but also a business problem… since we are social animals and business needs connections, financing and staff….. being all alone in a country, especially one you don’t speak the language, makes you impotent to achieve higher business goals… you don’t know your way around local logistics and everything is 5 times more complicated somehow……

Quick Comment
Quick Comment
5 years ago

“With the negatives that come from uprooting myself and moving to a foreign land, perhaps I’m only 15% happier. While that is significant enough for me to feel, it’s not the day and night difference I thought it would be.”

You made another good point. When the internet came along men in Femerrika USSA were starting to mentally masturbate about foreign lands and utopian places of slender pretty feminine women in male friendly societies. They were partially correct.

While I do agree that being out of the american wasteland is better, it is by no means heaven. This especially seeing foriegn cultures succumb to the degenerate shit that is eminating from the States. But since the U.S. is becoming the asshole of the Western World, almost any place outside of westernized / westernizing cultures will better more preferable.

Jneg
Jneg
5 years ago

Hey Roosh,

Do you pal around with ex pats who get by teaching English as a second language much? Are they cool? Is it a viable way to leave the West behind?

Thinking of quitting my day job as an accountant to pursue that life – just wondering what your experience was with it…

When I was in SEA most of them seemed like losers.

J

Bob
Bob
5 years ago
Reply to  Jneg

I’ve done the teaching English thing so I can comment on this. Yes, it’s true that the lifestyle does attract a fair amount of losers. Drug addicts, white trash, alcoholics, people that can’t get work in their home country. Some places will be better than others though. I’d imagine SE Asia has some of the worst. Japan and Korea probably has better. China Taiwan are sort of an in between.

Mjolnir2010
Mjolnir2010
5 years ago
Reply to  Jneg

Read “English Teacher X” blog. He will give you the scoop.

Hubert Cumberdale
Hubert Cumberdale
5 years ago

friends are fleeting once you are past around age 25-26. They just don’t hold the same value as before and that’s the cut-off point at which you don’t really make truly “great” new friends anymore. You know, the kind of people who you might keep up with in some capacity for the rest of your life.

Seeking a casual or a ball-n-chain relationship with women, while sprinkling in some vital male-to-male to contact to share a beer, a good laugh, and ponder the trials and tribulations of life becomes the norm after that point, and will stay that way until you croak.

Each year of your life up to around age 23-25 is fundamentally different in some way that’s either biological, academic, or existential. Then it just kind of stays the same while you keep getting older. Only by choosing to partner up and bear children does it really ever make any sort of major difference.

You’ll be alright Roosh. You’ve accomplished more than most people ever will and have positively impacted a lot of men’s lives while shit-stirring the establishment to boot. Recognize your achievements and turn your frown upside down.

Johnny
Johnny
5 years ago

This existential angst is humanity’s burden aka original sin.

Guest
Guest
5 years ago
Reply to  Johnny

And also the engine for human advancement.

Anon.
Anon.
5 years ago

“Or feel pressured and stressed by more serious relationships that force me to make larger commitments.”

The classic R-selected “loss of freedom”. The mantra of the West.

The “freedom” to be alone, isolated, with everybody and with nobody at the same time. It is the same “freedom” that the career sluts on antidepressants are so proud of. The “freedom” to be miserable. This is a man who is alone and empty and he is talking about “freedom”.

You’d think that Western players would learn something from the club sluts they bang. From how the only possible outcome of R-selection is a hamster-wheel of soullessness and “freedom”. Western culture is toxic both for men and for women. Think of a Russian girl talking to a Western girl. Both will cringe at each other and they will preach. One will preach the value of traditional relationships, with no interest or curiosity to pursue a life of club sex. The other will preach the value of random dick, partying and “crazy”, with no interest or curiosity to a pursue a life of traditional relationships. Both will walk away from the conversation unaffected, and they will continue their lives in the same way they did before. Culture is like religion, once you grow up in it, no amount of experience is capable of shaking its ideas.

Jams
Jams
5 years ago
Reply to  Anon.

Well put.

Mark Kimmel
Mark Kimmel
5 years ago
Reply to  Anon.

Very MPC.

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Guest
5 years ago
Reply to  Mark Kimmel

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StochasticFats
StochasticFats
5 years ago
Reply to  Anon.

One of the best things I’ve read on here.

Barwin
Barwin
5 years ago

I can sympathize with the feeling of not having friends when living an expat lifestyle. I’m a European living in North America, and making friends is tough, just because we tend to be transient, and making a good friend takes at least a year.

bigode
bigode
5 years ago

This is referred to as the hedonistic treadmill. Tests have revealed that happiness always tends to revert to the mean. You get a brief moment of joy when you obtain something that you thought would make you happy but then after a short time your level of happiness returns to its base level and you believe you need something else to make you happy. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/02/AR2006070200733.html

Atlanta Man
Atlanta Man
5 years ago

Roosh when you write shit like this you give a lot of young guys a good understanding the bigger picture of when you get older, and how to look past the instant situation. Good shit man. Not as much fun as the videos, but a lot more substance. Good shit, grown man advice.

Jonathan Roseland
5 years ago

Only 15% happier? As a result of massive personal lifestyle and entrepreneurial development? Talk about demotivational! I think such a figure is silly though; I know that my happiness varies by at least 15% day to day… but overall my happiness has at least doubled or tripled in the last few years that I’ve taken travel, game and entrepreneurship more seriously. This is why I much prefer qauntified personal development using something like HRV & brain training over fuzzy estimates & remixed self help platitudes.

PrepZ
PrepZ
5 years ago

This dirge motivates me to buy a sailboat and sail off into the sunset. What else does a man need or want but peace — mainly from the lost minions who would suck the marrow out of your bones iafter taking everything else from you.

Duh
Duh
5 years ago
Reply to  PrepZ

Instead of fleeing with your tail between your legs, why not stay and fight and claim your right?

PrepZ
PrepZ
5 years ago
Reply to  Duh

Bwahaha!

Fight for what friend? It’s all yours for the fighting. Enjoy the battle!

gofam
gofam
5 years ago

Rooshv, how are things security wise in Ukraine?….

Guest
Guest
5 years ago
Reply to  gofam

Bad. Nuland and her fellow tribemates are trying to start WWIII. Brother Nathanael has the scoop as well as anyone.

Your Orange Toothbrush
Your Orange Toothbrush
5 years ago

What would the life of 35 year old DC Roosh have been like?

Not following your heart? Never taking chances? Molding yourself to fit something you hated? The regret, the anger, the suffering? Carrying it around every single day? Jesus, would you have even made it to 35?

CrabRangoon
CrabRangoon
5 years ago

This reminds me of one of the main ideas of Buddhism. There’s a story that the Buddha claims we all have 83 problems and his teachings can’t help you with any of these. He can only help you with the 84th problem which is as the Buddha
said, “is that you don’t want to have any problems.”

lifePsyc
lifePsyc
5 years ago

Life will always have problems, and there will always be solutions too. It’s just a matter of finding them!

It’s all to easy to react emotionally when things go wrong but sometimes a cool, calm, systematic approach works best.

https://problemsolverapp.wordpress.com

fgk
fgk
5 years ago

“I don’t have urgent money and girl goals that motivate me, causing me to lack the direction and drive I had before”

I’m 20 now. By the time I achieve maximizing my potential with game (and working out, etc.) I will work on passive income. I don’t know how fast I will get it (definitely at least 15 years) but afterwards, maybe I would have that problem too.

Too bad I like video games… gaming gives you INFINITE amount of entertainment in terms of time. Combined with a plethora of pussy and enough passive income (or income like yours) to support my needs and wants comfortably, I don’t think I will have this problem. If I finish a game, there’s always another one. And another, and another. And if there is a short time where nothing interesting is released, and you beat all your games, you can always try classics, or get nostalgic with an old one.

Maybe gaming would work for you too. I haven’t gamed in ages, because now I focus on studies, “game” with women, working out, etc. but the last thing I will ever encounter is a lack of direction and drive I think, haha 😀

Zelcorpion
Zelcorpion
5 years ago

Life solved that equation to me by pointing me towards a girlfriend – one that accepts 3-somes and me having my fun on the side when I am not at home. I become way too barbaric and eccentric when left completely alone. As far as isolation is concerned – chatting up the few good friends over Skype is a good way and meeting them once every few weeks or months is great too.

Sooner or later you will likely have a child, which will give you new sets of problems I am sure – but even that can be enjoyable – don’t even have to live with the mother to enjoy it.

The only constant of life is change itself. We cannot avoid it – even if we remain in isolation.

starkid
starkid
5 years ago

I recommend to read this site:

http://orgyofthewill.net/

The guy there (he goes by icycalm) destroys your way of thinking. He even refers to your kind (the PUAs) as subhumans.

Action to Knowledge
5 years ago

I am in the mid 20’s now Roosh and it feels like you’ve written down the “problems” currently on my mind, except that I enjoy my job. The only difference is I only want to do it for 10-15 years because life is too short and I’d like to experience / try other things. Still, they seem like “quality problems” to have.

People often overvalue the level of happiness achieving a certain goal will give them, in the long run. I haven’t found the answer to our problem of discontent but recently started meditating using the Headspace app and it’s enhanced my life. Perhaps meditation and the practice of appreciation will help to enhance the enjoyment, happiness and journey of life as we go along to realize our visions.

Guest
Guest
5 years ago

The causality in your screenname is backwards. You think before you act, not act before you know.

It’s like someone who talks things through instead of thinking things through.

Ray Wolfson
Ray Wolfson
5 years ago
Reply to  Guest

if you act first and make a mistake then you can think about it, gain knowledge and act better… thus action to knowledge…. 🙂

any direction is better than none at all.

Bob
Bob
5 years ago

I’d go so far as to say that even if you’ve solved all your problems, your mind will invent or find problems to solve. It’s in our nature. I think one of the roots of happiness is solving problems to improve your situation. I’ve seen this behavior in many that honestly have no “real” problems but invent ones to keep themselves occuppied and give their life purpose.

switch
switch
5 years ago

Humans have an uncanny ability to find happiness in whatever situation they are in. People in Sweden are far richer than people in say Bangladesh, but if you surveyed 1000 people from each country to rate their happiness 1-10, you’d probably get similar stats.

GetReal
GetReal
5 years ago
Reply to  switch

The concept of being poor but happy is overrated. Ask any poor Bangaldeshi if they wouldn’t prefer to be unhappy in Sweden than happy in that hell hole that is Bangladesh?

anon
anon
5 years ago

I recently met 2 russian lesbians in a starbucks. They were really cool and talkative, with a positive attitude, unlike most of the demonic lesbians I come across. One was really beautiful but cut her hair short, whereas the other was bigger boned and more powerful, but still feminine. We had a great talk about Putin, russia and why I should go there. I have now decided that Americans suck so bad, and are so shallow and fake, that it is only good for business and not much more

Brave New Man
5 years ago

Good post Roosh. When we are younger we think that “when this/that happen, I’ll be happy”. Sadly it’s not that simple. Obviously, you should work to achieve stuff and work hard, whatever those goals might be, but then what? Well, new goal, new problems and never quite the level of satisfaction, or happiness, if you like, that we thought we would achieve.

I am also in my mid 30’s and live in a foreign country. I can relate to the friendship issues you mention and loneliness. I think what I miss the most is having a place to call home. At this moment, I don’t have one. I don’t feel at ‘home’ in my home country or in the country I live in. Maybe it’s lack of deep meaningful roots, I truly don’t know.

will
will
5 years ago

Stoicism teaches regular negative visualisation, to make you appreciate the life you do have more. It is something most of us probably do anyway, but now that I’m conscious of it and do it more regularly I’m a lot happier, in spite of the problems in life I will always have

Ivan Asen II
Ivan Asen II
5 years ago

The problem is the solution, and the solution has not helped us to solve the non-existent problem. So actually, it is the solution that has created the problem, and we are not ready to throw the solution out of the window, because we have tremendous confidence in those who have offered these solutions as the things that will free us from the problems that the solution has created for us.