There Will Always Be A Problem In Your Life

Every stage of your life, no matter how high up the ladder you climb, will have a problem. By solving one problem you will introduce another, and while subsequent problems can be smaller in severity, there will never be a point in your life when you are free of problems or completely satisfied with everything in your environment.

When I was around 25 years old, a time I was experiencing growing success with the game, I had four problems that bothered me:

  • I didn’t like the city I was living in
  • I didn’t have enough free time because I had to spend at least 40 hours a week in a job I didn’t care for
  • I didn’t have as much disposable income as I wanted
  • I didn’t feel attached or deeply interested to the girls I was having sex with

I solved each of these problems over the next few years by quitting my job, selling my writing to achieve a stable income, and traveling to many countries with beautiful and feminine women. I currently have free time to pursue my interests with more disposable income than I need in a city that is better than my hometown in terms of lifestyle and women. But now I have new problems I didn’t have before:

  • I don’t have friends in my new city, leading to feelings of social isolation
  • I don’t have urgent money and girl goals that motivate me, causing me to lack the direction and drive I had before
  • I see women more as a form of entertainment and distraction instead of significantly adding to my life

I know I’m happier now because I would rather live as I am than revert to the life I had at 25, but the difference is quite marginal. The downsides of my current life do weigh on me nearly as much as the previous problems I had, meaning that I’m still preoccupied with issues that I believe is harming my overall quality of life.

If I were to solve my problems today, a new set would undoubtedly emerge. Perhaps I’d have less free time, have to deal with more social circle or girl drama, or feel pressured and stressed by more serious relationships that force me to make larger commitments. Or maybe something spontaneous like a health problem will pop up at the time I was on the verge of “solving” everything.

Even rich and famous people have problems that they didn’t anticipate before they were successful. In John D. Rockefeller’s biography, he lamented the fact that every man who seemed interested in him would hit him up for money on the 18th hole of a leisurely game of golf. People who dreamed of fame and then got it become paranoid about the intentions of others and come to believe that their friends wouldn’t be around had it not been for their star status. Even if you don’t achieve fame, but become wealthy, you may start wondering if your new mini-girlfriend is a goldigger. Every goal you accomplish introduces a cost or burden, and because of that, your overall satisfaction with life will advance more in baby steps than in great leaps, or it may not advance at all.

Of course I’m not giving an excuse for you not to achieve or work hard towards your goals, but we must be realistic on how our day-to-day happiness will change. The sometimes heavy costs of achieving great things tends to balance the problems we set out to solve in the first place, and changing your living environment and lifestyle as I have will introduce new negatives you couldn’t have thought of before.

The buzz of achieving your goals is great indeed, but once the dust settles, it’ll feel less like you’re entering paradise than experiencing a more modest improvement that affects you only slightly. I most definitely prefer my life here in Eastern Europe, but I can’t say I’m twice as happy as before. With the negatives that come from uprooting myself and moving to a foreign land, perhaps I’m only 15% happier. While that is significant enough for me to feel, it’s not the day and night difference I thought it would be.

Read Next: All Experience Is Equal

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I see women more as a form of entertainment and distraction instead of significantly adding to my life”
Unfortunately this is how we as men can only view females today, seeing as they have completely become worthless for marriage or serious long term relation.

Adam Rodriguez
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This is certainly true of western countries.

Joseph Dickerson
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I would say this assumption is true for Western women, but women from more traditional societies are still around, and in much larger numbers than Western women. If you want a home maker there are many countries you can go to find that type of woman, you just won’t find her in America or Western Europe, most likely in Asia, Africa, South America, the Middle East, etc.

Alena Thomas
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Stack Thornehawk
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Nothing perhaps, that is necessary Quick. There is another purpose to live life, other than for one’s self, and for the squabbling snakes that women are. Another purpose, to find a life. Women have no part of it, in fact, I’ve only found that men are capable of even thinking on this plane of idea. I’m speaking in riddles, but watch, more men will begin to see it, and it is more alluring than the MGTOW.

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I think I see what you mean.

Luisaceo
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What do your American friends from DC think of your life in Europe? Are any of them tempted of making the move? As for the women situation, it’s obvious that you don’t get any fulfillment from the game anymore, it’s just a skill that satisfies a necessity. Until you find something else that is truly worth of your energy, you probably won’t be satisfied. This tweet of yours comes to mind by the way:

shone
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-Someone said that that one is as strong as much as amount solitude one can handle
-I think happiness is the kind of gift , you have it or not . There are very few people that have this gift fully developed and consequently able to enjoy every moment of their lives. (Possibly partly genetic , and in any case roots in early childhood)
-Game , is that really what you need? (reading few things at least contradictory , you seem to be looking for “wife” material)
– Not sure that there are ways/techniques that can make you happy man if you do not have gift from above, in any case if there is path it must be the ability to enjoy things not directly touching your life , your ambitions etc. For example being able to recognize beauty (in any form) and enjoy it should make you (a little bit) happier

Ray Wolfson
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^ that’s not a fantasy…..

“I don’t have friends in my new city, leading to feelings of social isolation”

This is the problem of being an ex-pat gypsy… I’ve experienced the same… and essentially it’s not only a social problem but also a business problem… since we are social animals and business needs connections, financing and staff….. being all alone in a country, especially one you don’t speak the language, makes you impotent to achieve higher business goals… you don’t know your way around local logistics and everything is 5 times more complicated somehow……

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“With the negatives that come from uprooting myself and moving to a foreign land, perhaps I’m only 15% happier. While that is significant enough for me to feel, it’s not the day and night difference I thought it would be.”

You made another good point. When the internet came along men in Femerrika USSA were starting to mentally masturbate about foreign lands and utopian places of slender pretty feminine women in male friendly societies. They were partially correct.

While I do agree that being out of the american wasteland is better, it is by no means heaven. This especially seeing foriegn cultures succumb to the degenerate shit that is eminating from the States. But since the U.S. is becoming the asshole of the Western World, almost any place outside of westernized / westernizing cultures will better more preferable.

Jneg
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Hey Roosh,

Do you pal around with ex pats who get by teaching English as a second language much? Are they cool? Is it a viable way to leave the West behind?

Thinking of quitting my day job as an accountant to pursue that life – just wondering what your experience was with it…

When I was in SEA most of them seemed like losers.

J

Bob
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I’ve done the teaching English thing so I can comment on this. Yes, it’s true that the lifestyle does attract a fair amount of losers. Drug addicts, white trash, alcoholics, people that can’t get work in their home country. Some places will be better than others though. I’d imagine SE Asia has some of the worst. Japan and Korea probably has better. China Taiwan are sort of an in between.

Mjolnir2010
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Read “English Teacher X” blog. He will give you the scoop.

Hubert Cumberdale
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friends are fleeting once you are past around age 25-26. They just don’t hold the same value as before and that’s the cut-off point at which you don’t really make truly “great” new friends anymore. You know, the kind of people who you might keep up with in some capacity for the rest of your life.

Seeking a casual or a ball-n-chain relationship with women, while sprinkling in some vital male-to-male to contact to share a beer, a good laugh, and ponder the trials and tribulations of life becomes the norm after that point, and will stay that way until you croak.

Each year of your life up to around age 23-25 is fundamentally different in some way that’s either biological, academic, or existential. Then it just kind of stays the same while you keep getting older. Only by choosing to partner up and bear children does it really ever make any sort of major difference.

You’ll be alright Roosh. You’ve accomplished more than most people ever will and have positively impacted a lot of men’s lives while shit-stirring the establishment to boot. Recognize your achievements and turn your frown upside down.

Johnny
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This existential angst is humanity’s burden aka original sin.

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And also the engine for human advancement.

Anon.
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“Or feel pressured and stressed by more serious relationships that force me to make larger commitments.”

The classic R-selected “loss of freedom”. The mantra of the West.

The “freedom” to be alone, isolated, with everybody and with nobody at the same time. It is the same “freedom” that the career sluts on antidepressants are so proud of. The “freedom” to be miserable. This is a man who is alone and empty and he is talking about “freedom”.

You’d think that Western players would learn something from the club sluts they bang. From how the only possible outcome of R-selection is a hamster-wheel of soullessness and “freedom”. Western culture is toxic both for men and for women. Think of a Russian girl talking to a Western girl. Both will cringe at each other and they will preach. One will preach the value of traditional relationships, with no interest or curiosity to pursue a life of club sex. The other will preach the value of random dick, partying and “crazy”, with no interest or curiosity to a pursue a life of traditional relationships. Both will walk away from the conversation unaffected, and they will continue their lives in the same way they did before. Culture is like religion, once you grow up in it, no amount of experience is capable of shaking its ideas.

Jams
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Well put.

Mark Kimmel
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Very MPC.

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StochasticFats
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One of the best things I’ve read on here.

Barwin
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I can sympathize with the feeling of not having friends when living an expat lifestyle. I’m a European living in North America, and making friends is tough, just because we tend to be transient, and making a good friend takes at least a year.

bigode
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This is referred to as the hedonistic treadmill. Tests have revealed that happiness always tends to revert to the mean. You get a brief moment of joy when you obtain something that you thought would make you happy but then after a short time your level of happiness returns to its base level and you believe you need something else to make you happy. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/02/AR2006070200733.html

Atlanta Man
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Roosh when you write shit like this you give a lot of young guys a good understanding the bigger picture of when you get older, and how to look past the instant situation. Good shit man. Not as much fun as the videos, but a lot more substance. Good shit, grown man advice.

Jonathan Roseland
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Only 15% happier? As a result of massive personal lifestyle and entrepreneurial development? Talk about demotivational! I think such a figure is silly though; I know that my happiness varies by at least 15% day to day… but overall my happiness has at least doubled or tripled in the last few years that I’ve taken travel, game and entrepreneurship more seriously. This is why I much prefer qauntified personal development using something like HRV & brain training over fuzzy estimates & remixed self help platitudes.

PrepZ
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This dirge motivates me to buy a sailboat and sail off into the sunset. What else does a man need or want but peace — mainly from the lost minions who would suck the marrow out of your bones iafter taking everything else from you.

Duh
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Instead of fleeing with your tail between your legs, why not stay and fight and claim your right?

PrepZ
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Bwahaha!

Fight for what friend? It’s all yours for the fighting. Enjoy the battle!

gofam
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Rooshv, how are things security wise in Ukraine?….

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Bad. Nuland and her fellow tribemates are trying to start WWIII. Brother Nathanael has the scoop as well as anyone.

Your Orange Toothbrush
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What would the life of 35 year old DC Roosh have been like?

Not following your heart? Never taking chances? Molding yourself to fit something you hated? The regret, the anger, the suffering? Carrying it around every single day? Jesus, would you have even made it to 35?

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This reminds me of one of the main ideas of Buddhism. There’s a story that the Buddha claims we all have 83 problems and his teachings can’t help you with any of these. He can only help you with the 84th problem which is as the Buddha
said, “is that you don’t want to have any problems.”

lifePsyc
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Life will always have problems, and there will always be solutions too. It’s just a matter of finding them!

It’s all to easy to react emotionally when things go wrong but sometimes a cool, calm, systematic approach works best.

https://problemsolverapp.wordpress.com

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“I don’t have urgent money and girl goals that motivate me, causing me to lack the direction and drive I had before”

I’m 20 now. By the time I achieve maximizing my potential with game (and working out, etc.) I will work on passive income. I don’t know how fast I will get it (definitely at least 15 years) but afterwards, maybe I would have that problem too.

Too bad I like video games… gaming gives you INFINITE amount of entertainment in terms of time. Combined with a plethora of pussy and enough passive income (or income like yours) to support my needs and wants comfortably, I don’t think I will have this problem. If I finish a game, there’s always another one. And another, and another. And if there is a short time where nothing interesting is released, and you beat all your games, you can always try classics, or get nostalgic with an old one.

Maybe gaming would work for you too. I haven’t gamed in ages, because now I focus on studies, “game” with women, working out, etc. but the last thing I will ever encounter is a lack of direction and drive I think, haha 😀

Zelcorpion
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Life solved that equation to me by pointing me towards a girlfriend – one that accepts 3-somes and me having my fun on the side when I am not at home. I become way too barbaric and eccentric when left completely alone. As far as isolation is concerned – chatting up the few good friends over Skype is a good way and meeting them once every few weeks or months is great too.

Sooner or later you will likely have a child, which will give you new sets of problems I am sure – but even that can be enjoyable – don’t even have to live with the mother to enjoy it.

The only constant of life is change itself. We cannot avoid it – even if we remain in isolation.

starkid
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I recommend to read this site:

http://orgyofthewill.net/

The guy there (he goes by icycalm) destroys your way of thinking. He even refers to your kind (the PUAs) as subhumans.

Action to Knowledge
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I am in the mid 20’s now Roosh and it feels like you’ve written down the “problems” currently on my mind, except that I enjoy my job. The only difference is I only want to do it for 10-15 years because life is too short and I’d like to experience / try other things. Still, they seem like “quality problems” to have.

People often overvalue the level of happiness achieving a certain goal will give them, in the long run. I haven’t found the answer to our problem of discontent but recently started meditating using the Headspace app and it’s enhanced my life. Perhaps meditation and the practice of appreciation will help to enhance the enjoyment, happiness and journey of life as we go along to realize our visions.

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The causality in your screenname is backwards. You think before you act, not act before you know.

It’s like someone who talks things through instead of thinking things through.

Ray Wolfson
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if you act first and make a mistake then you can think about it, gain knowledge and act better… thus action to knowledge…. 🙂

any direction is better than none at all.

Bob
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I’d go so far as to say that even if you’ve solved all your problems, your mind will invent or find problems to solve. It’s in our nature. I think one of the roots of happiness is solving problems to improve your situation. I’ve seen this behavior in many that honestly have no “real” problems but invent ones to keep themselves occuppied and give their life purpose.

switch
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Humans have an uncanny ability to find happiness in whatever situation they are in. People in Sweden are far richer than people in say Bangladesh, but if you surveyed 1000 people from each country to rate their happiness 1-10, you’d probably get similar stats.

GetReal
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The concept of being poor but happy is overrated. Ask any poor Bangaldeshi if they wouldn’t prefer to be unhappy in Sweden than happy in that hell hole that is Bangladesh?

anon
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I recently met 2 russian lesbians in a starbucks. They were really cool and talkative, with a positive attitude, unlike most of the demonic lesbians I come across. One was really beautiful but cut her hair short, whereas the other was bigger boned and more powerful, but still feminine. We had a great talk about Putin, russia and why I should go there. I have now decided that Americans suck so bad, and are so shallow and fake, that it is only good for business and not much more

Brave New Man
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Good post Roosh. When we are younger we think that “when this/that happen, I’ll be happy”. Sadly it’s not that simple. Obviously, you should work to achieve stuff and work hard, whatever those goals might be, but then what? Well, new goal, new problems and never quite the level of satisfaction, or happiness, if you like, that we thought we would achieve.

I am also in my mid 30’s and live in a foreign country. I can relate to the friendship issues you mention and loneliness. I think what I miss the most is having a place to call home. At this moment, I don’t have one. I don’t feel at ‘home’ in my home country or in the country I live in. Maybe it’s lack of deep meaningful roots, I truly don’t know.

will
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Stoicism teaches regular negative visualisation, to make you appreciate the life you do have more. It is something most of us probably do anyway, but now that I’m conscious of it and do it more regularly I’m a lot happier, in spite of the problems in life I will always have

Ivan Asen II
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The problem is the solution, and the solution has not helped us to solve the non-existent problem. So actually, it is the solution that has created the problem, and we are not ready to throw the solution out of the window, because we have tremendous confidence in those who have offered these solutions as the things that will free us from the problems that the solution has created for us.

MrBiIIGoode .
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Many of the ‘problems’ people have today are socially induced, like trying to keep up with the Joneses. Society tells us that we needs things that we really don’t. And then when the majority of the peer group acquiesces to the new thing, the pressure is strong for you also to join them and fit in. If you can think about the basic necessities that man needed when we were hunter gatherers such as food, pleasent environment and climate to live in and of course sex, then if you can get yourself situated in a position where you have enough of these basic necessities when you want them, you should be for the most part problem free.

Freightrider
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This is why you need a goal in life beyond hedonism.

Vegard Johansen
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Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.

Thomas A. Edison

pinetree
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Nice post. Eventually all men (and women) turn to religion or spirituality to fill that void. Religion gets a bad rap nowadays, but it is still a foundation of life. In Hinduism, it says the real dharma or nature of human life – is 1- vistara (mental expansion continuous), 2- Rasa ( hard to explain this concept — but essentially adjusting to the flow of life) and 3- seva (doing selfless service without expecting anything in exchange). The idea is to burn one’s karma or samskaras — by meditating and doing selfless service — which frees the mind of reactions caused by one’s actions — so one achieves enlightment and bliss. (Btw bliss and happiness are not one and the same)

Tim
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Problem after problem after problem, this is the bane of my life. You have hit the nail on the head once again. I will also say, a part of happiness (once nutritional and brain chemicals are taken care of) is being good to others, including women. Being nice, kind, noble to all people, including nasty feminists will make you feel pretty good. Also having a clear conscience is easily one of the best and purest feelings in the world.

Tony D
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I wrote a piece about my neighborhood called, “My Neighborhood is a Hipster Wasteland.” It trended here on Facebook and for two days I received hate mail from all the hipsters in Vancouver. But I also received love mail. What you’re doing isn’t just about your happiness. It’s about ours, from reading your good work. And your bad.

I’d say take up stand up comedy, or get yourself on stage. I used to be in a band. Never had a bigger social circle or more dating options since. And I got to travel.

Or you could do a You Tube show that wasn’t going to alienate the females. Then they would forgive their grievances, because you can charm them.

Or write a romance novel with enough depth that females would read it. Like Bukowski or Zan Perrion, who gets loads of groupies.

Ryan Clarke
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Very honest post. It’s easy to boast about one’s lifestyle and try to make others feel jealous (that’s practically the goal of being on Facebook). By leveling instead with people, it makes you all the more trustworthy.

anon1
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there’s a place for hedonism sure, and then there’s a place for contentment.

i think it’s ultimately the latter that people try to seek out eventually

blade
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The greatest gift we have been given as conscious being is the power of choice. The entire world is physical matter breaking down and building back up constantly. We can’t control everything that happens in the physical world, but can we control how we feel towards it and how it affects us. You are not your body and you are not your ego. You are simply the present moment in uni-sine with the physical world. Understanding this can help free you from the anxiety of always having problems in your life.

Lone Wolf
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As a man, seeking a problem free life is a mistake. Comfort makes a man soft, its our our trials and tribulations that shape us and strengthen us. We should all revel in the ability to have a lifetime of problems.

Jim Aras
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I struggled learning the English language mainly due to my busy schedule and tight budget. My goal is to speak, improve and comprehend English like a native, and to find the best English teacher on Skype. I am really pleased that a website like http://preply.com/en/english-by-skype exists to help learners like me find English personal tutor online. I get to learn 1 to 1 English lessons and to practice and converse with a very good teacher. I don’t have to be physically present to go to a class. All I need is internet access and get online through Skype (free!). I will enroll my kids through this website! I want you to experience this. Check it out and see for your self 🙂

Jonny_Paycheck
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I predict the Rooshter will in the not so distant future move to back to they USA.
Definitely will go back to live in an English speaking country at least.

greyghost1
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You are ready to be a father. Use a surrogate otherwise you will pay huge price and wreck your life for good.

Lear
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… and here, only about 3000 years later, we have another restatement of the Buddha’s First Noble Truth: life is unsatisfactory. (often translated as “life is suffering”, but “unsatisfactory” is closer.)

PHIL
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i enjoy roosh’s writing and agree with him on virtually everything, but if we are indeed just vessels for gene propagation and evolution is taking its natural course in mating strategy…why bother being upset with female behavior, even american broads? it’s not like they / we have free will in the traditional sense.

everyone is simply maximizing their options.

objectively – if any of us were far richer or better looking…we’d stop settling for 5s 6s and 7s – as 8s and 9s would more readily be available.

i also notice he has an underlying angst about many things. but if the default state of modern day man is a form of depression -on account of our environment, living quarters, balance in the bank, quality of relationships, cosmic irrelevance et al… i say just go for the next level of money and social status to experience the new plateau of banging better broads.

yes, they very well may be flakey money whores. and one’s happiness may regress to the mean..or a new mean…but so what? essentially we all use each other one way or another – even family (in my experience at least)

not an easy thing to do. ive yet to build a recurring business model that spits off cash to be an intl playboy – but how about roosh or someone on this board or even me (yes, im not pointing fingers at a problem but trying to find out a solution) come up with a game plan or a syndicate so we can achieve better pussy and better cash flow in the next 12-24 mos.

All ideas welcome.

SicTransitGloriaMundi
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Another existential post by Roosh – a sign of growing up. Eventually, after satisfying all his sensual cravings, one tends to ask “now what?”. And then you get a taste if the dreadful truth: all things are impermanent, and therefore they are suffering. Roosh, people have figured these things out cca. 2500 years ago, and as someone already mentioned you have just discovered the Buddha’s first noble truth. No matter how many 10’s or supermodels you bang, it will never be truly and permanently satisfactory. Same goes for your first million, or a hundred, you will never find peace and contentment there, or in any worldly possession, person, status or an achievement. The human condition is such that we’re always chasing our tails, from the beginning of time, restless and constantly dissatisfied, in the constant fear of the dreaded “now what” question.. the answer? not easy. as I said, it has already been figured out long, long time ago by a wise man…

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SkyOnFire
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Roosh, you are an open book, my friend. We thank you for that and wish you the best in your quest for happiness and well-being. Perhaps a thirst that only God-Consciousness can quench.

Nick
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I’m going through an intense period of work, study, gym, women, etc. and I’ve come to realize that even if i achieve my goals I won’t be exponentially more satisfied than I am at this moment, but incrementally, like you said.

As far as relocaing to Eastern Europe though, each man has his unique situation, but I’m definitely much, much happier than 15% or anywhere close to that. The simple fact that I’m not spending 50 hours a week working, preparing for or winding down from a job I was tired of is worth $1 million in the bank.

max
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Roosh,

You spoke about lengthening the process to get to your goals. I think the problem you have is that you haven’t taken on a project which challenges you. You haven’t done tried to write a novel, or screen play. You have great ideas but you must come up with a vehicle to reach the masses. Otherwise you will be cherry picked for articles about non-consensual sex, and eating disorders when your message is much smarter than that. I would love a podcast from you. Great interview on Matt Forney, but I understand that your strengths are in writing. Please write a screen play or novel. To this day Dead Bat in Paraguay is your best work.