I was putting too much emphasis on getting the phone number and not enough on the method. Numbers equal nothing if you can’t act on them. Maybe I had the idea that I could build a little more rapport when I called. Or maybe our first date we could get to know each other a little more. I was missing the point that a girl won’t go out with you if they don’t feel comfortable, if they think they can do better, if they think you are just some run of the mill bar guy…
I was at a bar in Boston. On the dance floor with a girl. We were making out, talking, nearly fucking. This girl didn’t return my call or text. This was the last draw. Something needs to be done…And that is when I came up with this new experiment.
I will no longer mutter the words “can I have your number?” First off, if you are getting numbers, you shouldn’t be asking for them….you should be telling them. “I’ll take your number and give you a call next week…” for example. Or just hand them your phone. This works too. But my experiment didn’t incorporate any of this. Flat out, don’t even ask or insinuate you want their number.
Roissy verified the technique:
I have run similar number closing game on girls, and I can inform you this reverse psychology method is highly effective. It’s a wonder I don’t number close like this all the time, but sometimes you have to remind yourself of what works and what doesn’t, or you fall back on old familiar habits. When she isn’t immediately biting, Tyler’s advice to prompt a girl to initiate some kind of exchange of numbers is crucial.
I agree with both of them. If you read Bang (or took my workshop) you’ll notice my technique to get a number is not asking for the number but the date, because if you just ask for the number there is a good chance that’s all you’ll ever get from her.
But there is something more important than the way you get the number: the process. If all you have in your mind is the close then you will be too inwardly focused. You’re be like an actor on a stage unable to see the audience. Instead you have to love every minute of interaction you have with the girl, the word-plays, the humor, and the stories you share with her, or else your incredible close technique won’t matter. Tyler’s number method is very good, but does it work because of the method itself or because he stays in conversation longer than usual when chances are the attraction will be stronger, because it is not the mere act of her asking that reduces the chance of a flake.
For example, say that I’m talking to a girl in a bar and it’s going remarkably well. I know she’s interested in me and it’s just a matter of time until her number is in my phone. She is getting impatient though for me to make a move and has decided to do it herself. Right as she is about to open her mouth to say, “Let’s exchange numbers,” I unknowingly beat her to the punch by saying, “How about we hang out sometime?” Because I asked before she did, does that mean there is a higher chance of her flaking out on me? Of course not. Keep in mind that some girls will never ask a guy for her number no matter how interested, so there is a potential for missed opportunity if you wait for her.
It’s impossible to prove that one method of technique “works” or not, so your best bet is to focus on the entire interaction and how you are making her feel. While there are many ways to fuck up getting a number, as long as you keep it breezy and ask for the date, I believe it doesn’t make a difference in the long run. You think you’ll get flaked on less because of a new move you started doing, but this isn’t a science experiment where all variables are controlled. Your game gradually improves in the time you run such experiments and you’re doing different things in addition to the new technique.