Time For A New Trip

Well I have failed to finish my second book in the year I gave myself. It’s been 14 months and I have no book. For it to be Pulitzer Prize worthy I’m going to have to hack at it for several more months, maybe even a year.

There was a time I rationalized staying here because I was saving money, but I’ve saved all the money I need and it’s time to move on. I gave my dad a month’s notice and he jumped up and down pretending to celebrate, but I know deep down inside he’s quite upset.

The obvious choice is to go to Colombia and finish the journey I started in 2007 before I pussied out. My Spanish is pretty decent and I can return to trying to get laid while having diarrhea, but you know what? Been there, done that.

I don’t want it to sound like I’m getting soft, because I’m not, but I’m tired of not having any conceivable reason to wake up every afternoon. I’ve decided my existence would be less shallow if I do something that has meaning and positively contributes to society. I looked on my world map and picked a country where not only can I do a lot of good, but stand out enough to easily slay the local woman.

Behold my ivory tower, bitchesI’m going to Ethiopia. I fly to Addis Ababa for three months on Earth Day, April 22. (I picked this date on purpose for symbolic reasons.) I will be volunteering at an orphanage to take care of youngsters who’ve lost their parents. This is a logical move for me since I have two little brothers and am very experienced in applying discipline on kids who get out of line and talk back. I don’t like to take out the belt but sometimes you got to or else the little bastards run all over you.

No I’m kidding, I’m not going to beat the kids, but I will not hesitate to use an elevated vocal tone when the four-month-old I’m feeding is crying even after he’s been burped, fed, and changed. Not only will I make a difference but I’ll also get my Ethiopian flag out of the way, and then when I return back to DC all I have to do to get bang stupid white girls who work at non-profits is tell them I saved starving African kids. For my Facebook profile photo I’m going to have someone take a picture of me bottle feeding the most sickly kid in the orphanage, looking deep into his big sad eyes with a look of both hope and despair. Hopefully there will be a fly resting right on his eyeball, though if not I can photoshop it in later.

Take that haters. In one swoop my life now has ten times more meaning than your material existence working in cubicles. While you continue to destroy the environment with your first-class lifestyle, I’ll be nurturing life into those who aren’t as fortunate. Say shit to me now…

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Rajia
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Rajia
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Funny

elguapo
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elguapo
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April Fools?

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I’m going to call shenanigans on this April Fools joke.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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April Fool’s.

Boy Soldier
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Boy Soldier
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If you’re not April fooling or off your rocker, I take back every bad thing I’ve said or thought about you. Then again two can April fool 🙂

Oaks
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Oaks
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April Fools, eh!

Where are you really going?

Oaks’s last blog post: Alone Time, We All Need it From Time to Time….

schoolboy
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schoolboy
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That sounds great Roosh.Just remember to really take good pictures.

Obama would be proud.

RJS
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RJS
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:pika:

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Go to Lalibala…Ask to see the Cross…

RJS
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RJS
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Good luck Roosh. We love you. But you should go to Romania. Better quality of life than Adidas Abba and not as many chicks with AIDS and the chicks are better looking understand the value of the visa which you can leverage in to Bangs.

Matt H.
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Matt H.
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Maybe you should have posted this tomorrow, on the 2nd, because many will read this as an April Fool’s joke. I know I did.

Cindy
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Cindy
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Obviously, this is an April Fool’s joke by the Rooshster.

Sam
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Sam
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Wow. You are such a tool Roosh. I subscribe to your blog because I enjoy watching you tell yourself how amazing you are everyday.

Saving starving kids in Africa? on Earth Day nonetheless? That is SO meaningful of you. You must really care about the world, and banging vapid girls who work at non-profits is clearly an added bonus. And riding your bike everywhere! How forward thinking of you!

Obviously, traveling and fucking stupid women make your life so much more meaningful and fulfilling than mine. Oh, and being a full grown man that doesn’t have a job and lives in his parents basement must be fucking great too. Enjoy that existential boredom that you complain about all the time.

STFU Roosh. I am now unsubscribing from all your shit because your writing is less than mildly entertaining. Only recently it occurred to me that you have such a high opinion of yourself largely because of your high readership and your ability to get laid. 1) As long as you’re not horribly disfigured, it ain’t that hard to get laid. 2) The internet has created hundreds of thousands of minor celebrities. You are not a great writer. You are not a great humanitarian. You will never impact the world in any meaningful way. Your blog and your writing is cheaply misogynistic and misanthropic, in a way that has been done a million times before by people that were smarter and funnier than you (see Tucker Max, Maddox, Mad DC Cabbie, shit, even Roissy is eons more intelligent and incisive than you). What you are doing is not novel, not original. Stop sucking yourself off. You might actually be the biggest douchebag on the face of the planet. The lack of meaning in your life makes me laugh. And guess what? When you come back from Ethiopia, your life will be just as meaningless as it as now. There’s no cure for douchebag.

Btw, I know I’m about 3 or 4 different types of your Roosh hate. But, allow me to reiterate my points from above 1)Shut the fuck up 2)You are a minor internet celebrity 3)You are not intelligent 4)You are not original

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Sam got played.

Benedict Smith
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a couple hallmark signs of womanizers: work in a social service/volunteer, & are well read/articulate.

Benedict Smith’s last blog post: Facebook Stalkers.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Sam should take a look at the calendar

mike says
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mike says
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These get better every year

messy
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messy
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Orphanage is a good move, I think the age of consent in Ethiopia is only 6!

Nice one, Rooshy.

adrock
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adrock
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Check the date people…

Firepower
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Firepower
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Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit in a shopping cart?

Chris
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Chris
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I gotta say, I bought into it for a few minutes!

Lee
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Lee
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why don’t you come bottle feed and take care of my kids. I don’t fucking want them.

I’m kidding.
I don’t have kids.
I pull out even when i’m wearing a rubber.

Jay Gatsby
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Jay Gatsby
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Nice. For real though, you need to check out Spain.

Carl Sagan
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Carl Sagan
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Good luck!

Take care to not get teh AIDS!

The G Manifesto
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I still think, like I said yesterday, that Colombia is the doper move.

But, hell, Ethiopia is a great place to have on your resume.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: A Typical Tuesday Night in Southern California.

DF
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DF
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Nice April Fool’s joke. You’ve brought out the haters.

lurker
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lurker
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April fool’s.

craig | travelvice.com
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Classic 1 April Roosh

craig | travelvice.com’s last blog post: American Products Not Banned in Syria.

roissy
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roissy
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i think sam’s comment is an april fool’s comment.
very meta.

roissy’s last blog post: Time To Put Aside Childish Things.

Firepower
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Firepower
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just goes to show
nobody reads
any posts
but their
own

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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No one cares about your racist joke

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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sam is a tool bag and should just go jump already

dag
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dag
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dag, I was actually impressed for a minute 🙁

Jeanne
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Jeanne
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Ahhhhhh! Good one. It will make me laugh all day. 🙂

RJK3
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RJK3
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firepower: im waiting for the answer

i cannot tell if the trip is truly a joke… its still fits your m/o of egotism, laziness, travel and womanising

Edward
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Edward
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I think he’s serious.

josh
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josh
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Where is the picture of the vile cunt you were going to settle down with in 2007 or 2006. I still think that was the best April fools gig ever.

Sparks123
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Sparks123
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You’re such a dick. 🙂

chic noir
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chic noir
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Not only will I make a difference but I’ll also get my Ethiopian flag out of the way

😯
:screams:

Hell no you won’t. You will be surprised how difficult it is to sow your wild oats in Ethiopia my friend. Just like in DC, Ethopian women are not open to freaking around with random men.

I need to get on the phone now to get the word out.
*shudders*

todd h.
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todd h.
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jokes aside, maybe you would be a good science teacher

finefantastic
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face the southern oracle to confront your true self.

finefantastic’s last blog post: Friday!.

Gunslingergregi
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Gunslingergregi
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Ethiopian woman are not bad on the eyes plus long hair. I was talking an ethiopian she said she would condsider ethiopians medium black. You might want to rethink the joke.

John Smith
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John Smith
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In one swoop my life now has ten times more meaning than your material existence working in cubicles. While you continue to destroy the environment with your first-class lifestyle, I’ll be nurturing life into those who aren’t as fortunate. Say shit to me now…

To each his own, Roosh. Nothing matters after you die no matter how big your flag count is, travel memoirs you write, and starving ethiopian children you feed.

Figure out some meaning to all of this.

John Smith’s last blog post: Automation is liberation.

thebigcat
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thebigcat
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smiles….

if you’re going to be an asshole, be a legendary asshole… lying about going to Africa to help the orphans…

lol…

nicely done….

Maverick
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Maverick
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Good luck for getting the ethiopian flag out of your way. I am sure you will do it.

Firepower
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Firepower
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Hey anon. I didn’t know “ethiopian” was a race.

I do know anons are fat asexuals
oh, and blow me till I squirt

Shaman
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Shaman
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I think this is one of the best posts of yours I’ve ever read, loved the ending (to which I say, by the way, “shit”).

RW
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RW
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One of the few places I can go and get real laughs out loud.
Thanks man.

Even if the fly on the kid part was over the top. Even so, the irony was delicious.

Lost Artist
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Wow, it looks like there may be hope for you yet. j/k But no, seriously- that’s great. And you are correct, you will get mad tail when you get back, and hell, maybe some before you go. One of my guy friends lived in Africa, and said that he got laid aplenty, for being a foreigner. But he also said to wrap it up so ya don’t get the HIVy.

Lost Artist’s last blog post: Interwebs, I’ve invested 4 good years in you. You owe me this tiny favor..