A consistent way to feel depressed or unhappy is to compare yourself to other people.
He has a hotter girl than me.
He has a better job than me.
He has more stylish clothing.
His apartment has a better view of the city.
His cozy neighborhood cafe has poetry readings and I love poetry. All I have is a Starbucks.
And so on.
If you were the only human on Earth, living on an island, the main source of unhappiness you’d have is loneliness, but since we live in what’s called a society it’s impossible not to compare our lot to others. And since society is large, with many millions more successful than ourselves, it’s easy to feel down on what we have, which in fact may be more than what 90% of the world has.
One way to tame this unhappiness is to think of the costs. He has more money than us, but how is his lifestyle? Turns out he’s working 12 hour days and it took four extra years of education to get there. Do you want to do the same? He has bigger muscles than you, but he spends 10 hours a week in the gym. Are you prepared to spend that amount of time in the gym to have what he has? He has a knockout on his arm, but she’s actually a cunt and didn’t put out until the eighth date. They don’t have sex often. Is it worth putting that effort in? When you think in terms of costs, it’s easier to feel more content with what you have. As long as you don’t use it as a way to rationalize your laziness, it’s a good way to remind you that most things which have value takes work and commitment.
Now if you do need an extra kick in the ass, for example if you’re in a foreign country and what to nail the hottest girls, all you have to do is compare yourself daily with other guys who have the type of girl you want. By making yourself feel inadequate, a surge of motivation will come forth to help relieve the inadequacy. You do the amount of work necessary to accomplish the goal, which you may already know is probably not worth it in the end, since goals that are worth the chase have desire that comes from within, not by comparison. If you find yourself regularly using comparison to stay motivated, then it may be time to find yourself a new mission.