Welcome To Bogotá

The going-to-Ethiopia thing was only supposed to be an April Fools joke, but idiots kept commenting about it days after so I decided to let it ride. The prank has brought me great amusement, thank you, and the only downside was I have betrayed your trust forever. According to my survey, half of you believed I was actually going to Ethiopia. :laugh:

I’m in Bogotá, Colombia right now. My first night out I went to a bar in the “bohemian” (think dreadlocks) La Candelaria part of town with a fun Croatian guy. My Spanish sucks huge donkey balls apparently so I can’t rely only on day game yet. I still need that loud club music to make take the awkwardness off the many silences where the hamster in my brain is trying to construct coherent sentences that are more interesting than “Creo que esa es el baño para hombres” (I think that is the men’s room) and “Tu y tu amiga tienen pelo rojo” (You and your friend have red hair).

While the Croat was talking to a girl I decided to go for the hottest girl in the place. She was standing nearby with her two friends. I point to my friend and said, “That’s my friend” in English. She looked at me for two seconds as I stood there patiently. Then she spun around so hard and fast that the end of her hair hit my shoulder. What the fuck. The last time I got rejected like that was in December 2007 in Buenos Aires.

Later I got up on my stool for five seconds to place my empty Corona on a table. When I returned there was a girl sitting on my chair. She was a friend of the girl who rejected me. The chair theft had to be planned. The girls were bullying me and I had to stand up for myself.

“Perdon, esta es mi asiento,” I said. Excuse me, this is my seat.

“Si, pero estoy cansado,” she replied. Yes, but I am tired.

“Si pero yo tambien. Quiero mi asiento.” Yes but me too. I want my seat.

“No no por favor estoy muy cansado…” No no please I am very tired. She gave me a puppy dog look.

“Hablas ingles?” Do you speak English?

“Yes I speak English.”

“Okay look girl you gotta get up. Come on let’s go.”

I put my hand on her back and gently pushed her off. I got evil looks for the rest of the night from her crew but it’s okay—I got my revenge.

I shouldn’t have told you this episode since it’s the exception. Colombian girls are very nice and eerily similar with Brazilian girls in terms of personality. I think these girls were from Argentina because that’s the shit I would expect there. In fact if everything goes well here I see no reason to ever return to Argentina unless I have to do a visa run.

:banana:

Give me three more weeks to gather data and I will present to you my findings on Colombian women.

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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I am thinking that you would have had more fun in Ethiopia. All jokes aside, it may be a more complex and unique place to travel.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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ya roosh, next time pull yo piece on dem bitches, aint be puppy doggin my glock yaheard
gard dem bitches

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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When are you going to release the survey results?

Nomad Marketer - Expat Rock Star
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Man, I haven’t been to Colombia in 15 years, back when I was there the government only controlled like 10% of the country – now I believe the government controls about 90% so as you can guess it was like the wild wild west back then.

Looking forward to your findings about the local ladies

The G Manifesto
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Excellent choice to go to Colombia.

Looks like you avoided the pig flu as well.

Good move.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Guest Manifesto: Time Is Of The Essence.

Carl Sagan
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Carl Sagan
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Survey results or GTFO

Backdoor Man
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Backdoor Man
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If you want to meet my sister-in-law, let me know. She’s beautiful and she lives a few blocks away from where you are. Yeah, like I’m gonna do that….

Firepower
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Firepower
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fuck tip: Columbian girls prefer it when you don’t floss – so they can see food stuck in between. Proves you can afford to eat. Bingo – sex assured

craig | travelvice.com
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Damn I love that country. Argentina = zzzzzzzz……

craig | travelvice.com’s last blog post: Damascus Street Scenes.

Lost Artist
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Well, I’ll admit it. You had me going until the bottle cap hair. Then I began to suspect I had been duped. I just thought that you know, if it was on the internet, it had to be true. Right?

Anyway, well played sir. Have fun with the Colombians!

Lost Artist’s last blog post: I’m MAD about the boy..

Lost Artist
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Oh! And you should read some G.G. Marquez while in Columbia.

Lost Artist’s last blog post: I’m MAD about the boy..

owen
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owen
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“Creo que esa es el baño para hombres” (I think that is the men’s room)

Usually parecer is more idiomatic than creer in cases where you are forming an opinion based on momentary evidence (such as the gender of the guy who just stepped out the door); creer is better for a belief built through consideration or long term perception. Me parece que ese es el baño para hombres.

More importantly, how do you deal with flaking from latin women. I suppose you could fuck them the night you meet them but in day game that’s pretty tough. Even when they ask for my number I get flake rates over 50%.

cinnamon
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cinnamon
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A quick tip! smile

As you most probably know (given that you seem rather clever) in Spanish, nouns are masculine or feminine. now, don’t forget so are adjectives. for instance:

“Perdon, esta es mi asiento,” <— este es mi asiento: usually nouns ending in “o” are masculine

“Si, pero estoy cansado,” <— nay, she’s a girl, she’s cansada. YOU are cansado because you are a man.

This mistake would not mean a lot, but do be careful not to apply any feminine adjectives to you or any other man. Being from a Latin American country I can tell you this can lead to many jokes, which I don’t doubt you will have no problem turning around, but I reckon it is best to avoid.

And to Owen above me, what you have said is very correct! but I think Roosh can relax here, because many people just use “creo” for everything. I am not Colombian, though, so I am speaking for people from the regions I know.

Have fun in Colombia (Columbia? that’d be around Barack’s area wouldn’t it? ha) and it’s great that you escaped the swine flu. Take care!

cinnamon, a first timer!

dag
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dag
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*snif* Im still disappointed you chose trendy Columbia over off-the-beaten path Ethiopia… but in hindsight, not surprised. Have fun anyway.

RW
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RW
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Oh there are some lovely hotties down there. Am I soft because I think it was harsh for you to really stick it to that girl over the chair? Is there group responsibility or did you know that her friends were watching and you felt you had to settle a score.

As for the queen’s immediate turn on you, she no doubt is looking for the finest dressed caballero to open up game. And you probably go over to her in your scraggly beard and rumpled clothes and she gave you an Alicia Silverstone, “As if.”

Sadly, the world grows smaller all the time. What I find both indirect and direct is that the attitudes are spreading. And not the good ones.

But darn, Columbia is still a gold mine. You are going to get enchanted by some young gorgeous beauties.

Damn you, you bastard, damn you to hell.

Jonk
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Jonk
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Oh and Roosh you no doubt know this by now but in Colombia never use tu with a man. smile

However the one thing that annoys me most about Americans speaking Spanish is the accent. At least people from other countries try to prounounce properly when they’re learning Spanish, Americans on the other hand… cultural imperialists even when speaking a language that’s not English.

todd h
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todd h
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nice! whenever you sign off a post with the animated dancing banana icon, it means youre back in the saddle. happy to see it

Zictor
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Zictor
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@ Jonk,

That’s unfair. I speak a shitload of languages myself and have noticed people having the most varied accents. I think that the real problem in the US is that as a country they haven’t really realised the importance of learning other languages. So, their educational system doesn’t put a lot of emphasys on that. Result: they have crappy teachers in subjects considered less important than others.

The fact that the rest of the world is learning English also makes them lazy. I actually think THAT is the biggest reason. Otherwise, other English speaking countries wouldn’t have the same problem. But you see that in the Brits, Irish, Kiwis, Aussies, Canadians, etc.

owen
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owen
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Roosh: I usually text once when I get her number and then call. My Spanish is fine in person but a little awkward over the phone (it’s a lot harder) but I can make a date easily enough. It’s just that she doesn’t show up. Usually she leaves a message or texts at the last minute.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Zictor: Thank the unions. Since have to be all teachers the same, we can’t spend enough to hire better teachers in the subjects we actually need.

Rajia
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Rajia
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I dated a Colombian and he used “tu” for his male friends. But he was from Cali. So evidentally it is regional.

aha
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aha
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I point to my friend and said, “That’s my friend” in English.

Roosh, thats weak man.

todd h
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todd h
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#21: is that why your syntax is all f’d up (like yoda)?

Trannied Toddler
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Trannied Toddler
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Bogota = Buenos Aires. “Remembering” a bf 90 minutes into set? Check. 15-minute ban~o breaks? Check.

cinnamon
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cinnamon
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“Gracias cinnamon por tu ayuda. En dos meses mi espanol va a ser perfecto.”

Sé que así será. Escribes muy bien! En dos meses voy a volver por aquí para ver si es cierto! (es broma :))

Charles
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Charles
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Roosh maybe you will get quarantined in Columbia, that would rock! GO SWINE FLU!!!!!

Marmot
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Marmot
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Hehe, a Croatian guy in Colombia? What a rare occurence, but so nice smile

(I’m a Croat)