When Too Many Girl Options Is Bad

random-skanks.jpgAbout a month ago I went out like any other Friday night with one male friend. I dressed like how I normally dressed and barely drank. By the time the night was over I got four phone numbers. The unusual thing about this is I talked to six or seven girls during the entire night. 60% conversion rate from approaches is a superstar number and does not typically happen. One number or make-out from four or five approaches is more of what I experience.

The following Monday I had a total of six numbers to call (two were older) and with so many choices I didn’t particularly care which ones I got out. So I called them one by one. Two answered and for the ones that didn’t I left messages.

Fast forward one week later. The entire pool was whittled down to two girls I was still talking to. I thought about it a little more and concluded they weren’t even that cute, so I stopped calling both of them. So nothing happened with any of those girls.

Two weeks after that brouhaha, I met a pretty Brazilian girl at a bar. This was around the time before the Las Vegas trip when I barely went out to save money. But we’re still talking (and texting), and the initial connection I had with her was superficially less than most of the girls from the four number fest.

Looking back the previous couple years, nothing happened when I had a boatload of new numbers. I get laid by focusing on a girl and making it work, not blasting with a shotgun and hoping I hit something. That inefficient robot game doesn’t work because you simply don’t have the time or energy to work on the huge number of girls to get such paltry results. It’s necessary for some guys starting out but in the long run you’ll burn out and swear off the game forever.

Having options is good up to a point, but then with too many options you actually start getting less. You’re like a kid in a candy store and you’re too excited to make firm decisions. So you really have to do care about these girls, at least a little bit, or else you won’t bother to take it to the next level. But then if you care a tad too much you’ll get nothing either. The game is an unforgiving beast.

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mr. hanky
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mr. hanky
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the shotgun approach is great if all you’re looking for is sex. and then again, its also better because you’re continually chatting/texting different girls and not waiting all day to hear back from one girl…

Jack Goes Forth
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If I don’t maintain a shotgun approach, at least in my head, then I may get hung up on a girl and ultimately get let down (which happened recently when I let my guard down for a month….that bitch) . I think always being on the hunt keeps me from catching to many feelings and keeps me cold and distant, which for now is what works.

Jack Goes Forth’s last blog post: Bars and Richmond.

Stone
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Stone
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Oh man, DC is so small – I know this girl (in the black top spagetti top) – a friend of mine used to date her.

But on the topic – numbers like these I just keep in my phone to mass-text stuff like “going to XXX party tonight, wanna join me?”. I don’t call girls who just gave me their number and said “we should hang out sometime” but we didn’t make out or otherwise escalate. That is usually fruitless, as you’ve noticed.

Peter
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Peter
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ah – the paradox of choice:

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/93

and a qotd:

“You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.”
— Joe E. Lewis

Ava V.
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Ava V.
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It is always good to have options. I say keep one in focus and have a few in your back pocket, so you can pull them out if necessary.

Ava V.’s last blog post: After Hours.

phi
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phi
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there is a great talk on TED about this very phenomenon. The paradox of choice:
http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2007/12/11/video-the-paradox-of.html

phi
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phi
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oops, someone beat me to the punch.

The Dude
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The Dude
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Those girls in that picture are hideous.

Ovech
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Ovech
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Juggling more than 2 is too much work! Maybe if I had more free time…ala someone on this site haha.

Eugenius
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Eugenius
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So what is the story with the pic…..is it somehow related to the post?

Seduction Chronicles
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Hmmm!

Seduction Chronicles’s last blog post: Sean Stephenson Backstage Photo at Jimmy Kimmel.

RedWhiteyellowBlack
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RedWhiteyellowBlack
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Eug- Well if you stalkerishly listened to his ‘how to be a master blogger’ video on youtube, you’d know he said to put an image, any image of some sort doesn’t really matter – and if it actually relates it’s an extra bonus 😉 LOL

The Dude
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The Dude
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The chick looks like she has a chemical burn on her face. Is she writing in pain?

InterestedParty
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InterestedParty
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Absolutely true. There’s only so much capacity anyone has to deal with so many people. There’s only 24 hours in a day, and you have to work, eat, shit, and sleep sometime. The shot gun approach is fine to the extent that you’re not putting all your eggs into one basket. But you can overdo it too.

Zictor
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Zictor
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I don’t get what this whole deal with telephone numbers that PUA’s have is.

If I don’t score there, I don’t consider it worth it.

Unless I am already thinking of a very long term relationship.

Anon
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Anon
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“Looking back the previous couple years, nothing happened when I had a boatload of new numbers. I get laid by focusing on a girl and making it work, not blasting with a shotgun and hoping I hit something.”

Instead of 6 superficial interactions and phone numbers, you find that ONE girl in the room (or two) who is hot to trot and work her to the bone to get her home.

It’s high stakes poker: all or nothing. Even you go home alone, the number you get from her is SOLID, not superficial.

The correct way to shotgun is to go out A LOT. You shotgun by going out a lot, but every time you are out, you drill deep.

If you go out 4 times (Thurs. through Sun.) and drill deep each time, you’ll have 4 chances to pull, and at the very least 4 solid numbers.

RedWhiteyellowBlack
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RedWhiteyellowBlack
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LOL close, but not that close!