When You Have A Good Girlfriend But Want To Bang Sluts

Many men have come to me with the same dilemma: they’re in a relationship with an ideal girl who would be a great mother but still want to bang other girls. They ask me if they should stay with their current girl or dump her for the purpose of sleeping around.

This scenario usually happens to men in their mid-to-late 20s when, through sheer luck, they met a good girl by happenstance. Problem is that they aren’t yet finished with “finding themselves” through the vaginal multitude. They feel like they’re missing out on experiences that could be rewarding in their development, or they simply desire to experience a rock-star lifestyle of repeated casual sex encounters, which is blocked by having a dedicated girlfriend you either live with or see many days of the week.

If a man breaks up with his high-quality girlfriend to bang sluts, he will almost certainly lose the girlfriend with no guarantee of meeting another girl of the same quality in the future or one who loves him in the same way, but if he stays with his girlfriend, he will have nagging doubts that prevent him from enjoying the relationship fully. What should such a man do?

Unfortunately, he will lose either way. It doesn’t matter what he does—he will be just as dissatisfied as before. The real problem is that he is divided. He wants to experience two things at the same time: stability and excitement. This is not possible, because they are opposing qualities. The only solution is to remove the division and either dedicate yourself to pursuing stability or excitement.

If you’re in your excitement phase, and do not want it to end unless you accomplish whatever arbitrary notch goal you’ve set for yourself that signifies you’ve had your fill, do not start a relationship. If one of the girls you bang turns out to be an amazing catch, you will set yourself up for the unsolvable problem.

Things are much easier if you’re in relationship mode, because you won’t have much interest in bypassing good girls for sluts. You are able to stay content upon meeting the right girl, and won’t be tempted enough to leave a girlfriend who you see as a worthy long-term prospect.

All of the men I’ve met with this problem decided to leave their girlfriend to bang sluts. They’ve tried to keep the now ex-girlfriend at close distance to resume the relationship once tiring of casual sex. The first problem with this approach is that banging other girls will degrade the emotional bond with your girlfriend. Each new slut you’re with will damage the connection by a barely perceptible amount. Secondly, the ex-girlfriend won’t wait around forever. The day you leave, she will unknowingly spend an extra two minutes fixing her makeup and hair, subconsciously announcing that she is for “sale” to potential suitors, and if it does seem like she is waiting for you, it’s because she hasn’t yet met a man with value higher than yours. Either way, the relationship will never again regain its intensity after you’ve taught her not to trust your love.

I’m lucky that I’ve never had this problem. When I was banging sluts, all I had eyes for were sluts, and never had to abandon a girl who I thought would make the ideal wife or mother of my children. Since then, I have hit the point of diminishing return with sluts—they now give me as much headache as pleasure, so if I meet a keeper, I will have no problems sternly telling sluts to back off from my penis, removing all consent for a possible casual sex encounter. Other men, however, place a lot of value in promiscuous sex, especially when they’re young and consuming pornographic content online. Their best outcome is to hope they don’t meet a good girl in their fun phase, or else they will be presented with a dilemma that has no solution.

Just like how we tell women that they can’t have their cake and eat it too by wasting their youth sleeping around only to desire marriage from a good man when they’re older, the same applies to men who want to experience both stability and excitement. Either bang sluts or be open to the possibility of love, but you can’t have it both ways.

Read Next: 6 Reasons Why I Probably Won’t Get Married

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Path
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If many men begin to pursue monogamy and restrain from casual sexual relations, a change may begin to occur that causes women to leave the workplace, causing a chain of events that may result in a more stabilized society.

TexMexBBQ
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If you want to live until you are elderly and have a good wife take care of you instead of being slapped around and abused by some fat angry bitch in a nursing home, you need to seek stability, live a respectable life and constantly treat your wife like a queen. If looks and high quality sex are going to matter your entire life, you need to become a billionaire so you can divorce & marry younger multiple times (ie. like Donald Trump). Or you can be like Bill Clinton and have a placeholder wife/wife of convenience and cheat constantly with prostitutes and other women on the side — but you better be sure your wife won’t want a divorce if she finds out or you better be good at keeping it secret.

polishknight
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Married for 15 years and I don’t treat my wife like a queen. I respect and love her and also demand similar respect from her. It’s not equality but rather just living a wholesome life. I think if I had tried to beta male queen her, she’d have surely shit tested her way away from me a long time ago.

Kitty Tantrum
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I think it’s worth making a distinction between a man who treats his wife like a queen – as though he is her subject, and a man who treats his wife like a queen – as though he is her king.

david
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You married her before cell phones were a thing? Different world entirely man.

david
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… and then she’ll still divorce you because she always wanted to travel. Happened to many of my friends and family members

Steve
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One of the few ways porn could allow you to have your cake and eat it too.

TexMexBBQ
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One’s own hands get old though

Steve
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So do sluts. Get a Fleshlight.

Hafthor
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Individual sluts grow old, but teens, college and high school girls are forever young <3

Eaton Beaver
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Don’t think this dilemma is only found in 20-somethings. For many of us, it resurfaces in our 50s. I’ve discovered a goldmine in Colombia, where you can meet madres solteras who are still attractive and will give up the poon. I’m not delusional, I know they are all looking for a gringo cajero automatico. It’s actually easier to pull it off as you get older.

david
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Finally somebody talking some sense. Medellin? Where do you meet them?

ChimbaStar
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Saw this post by Roosh and thought…shit this guy’s reading my mind. Then I get to this comment and I’m like…ok, this is another level. They aren’t just reading my mind, they are ME.
I’ve found a great girl x2. Messed it up twice because I wanted to see what else was out there.
Now I’m in my early 40’s and single and found Medellin. I’m hitting more 24 year old’s there than I ever before in my life. It’s amazing. I want all the bang.

Eaton Beaver
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I’m in my late 50s and consistently hit hot chicks in the late 30s/early 40s range. I had one that was a girlfriend for 9 months who left me because I wouldn’t leave my wife. She reappeared 9 months later to ask for money. My only advice is to be realistic and realize that money is a big part of the equation. They’re not necessarily gold-diggers, it’s just part of the culture. I have a very good female friend from Cúcuta who responded to my complaint about my girlfriend asking for money with, “well, you just want sex from her”

Eaton Beaver
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I know a lot of people in Bogotá and usually have women meet me there. I had a girlfriend from Bucaramanga who would meet me there. I’ve been to Medellin once on business, but have never done anything socially there. I’m sure it’s amazing. Speaking Spanish opens up a lot of doors

spartacus
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Thank you Roosh.

polishknight
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This is a paradox that’s plagued the PUA community from the beginning: Game and the resultant high SMV can become addictive. For women, it sets unrealistically high standards in their youth that are unsustainable (men appear to tell her what she wants to hear, but it’s only to get laid) and for men, finally figuring out how to have sex with as many women as one wants will lead to the next-shiny-thing syndrome making it difficult to settle down.

It seems implausible to me that Roosh hasn’t found a nice girl yet worthy to settle down with. Surely his techniques to approach and close the deal with women shouldn’t limit him only to sluts. In addition, his lifestyle has allowed him to evolve almost prescient like skills to spot the kind of woman he desires and seal the deal. It’s similar to women who complain they “can’t find nice men” when their unconscious is sending out signals either driving such men away or she isn’t ready for him. I don’t mean this in a condescending manner, but Roosh should consider seeing a psychotherapist to help get a trusted 2nd party opinion as to his own motivations and long term desires.

Roosh could meet a keeper in literally less than a week if he so desired provided he released any psychological blocks and set reasonable standards (much like women need to do.) In that week he could get an 8 who would be a wonderful wife and mother of his kids even if a pain in the arse from time to time. For me, my wife at least doesn’t do drugs or have other addictions, smoke, etc. which is acceptable.

Jay
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The problem is, the more women you’ve been with the harder it is to settle down with one. You always find flaws and you compare them to other women that you’ve had in the past. The standards just keep rising and you can never stop looking as a “better one” might be just around the corner.

david
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I bet there is also some racial identity crisis with him. Should he go full middle eastern to preserve his father’s legacy? Or should he whitewash his family and have white kids with the last name Valizidah or whatever. I have a similar conflict being italian. I would like an italian wife and kids, but the women are nuts and latinas really treat me much better.

Rivera
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Why would a traditional woman want to marry a man who has slept with hundreds of sluts? If I had a daughter I wouldn’t let her marry a player. I’d rather have her married to a traditional man.

When you sleep with hundreds of girls you destroy yourself literally . Since you have been with such a high amount of women your expectatives of what women should be are extremely inflated. I am pretty sure that a lot of players wouldn’t marry a six even though she may be the sweetest girl in the world or would kick out their older wives for new flesh.

I am sorry but if you want to marry a traditional woman you have also to be traditional. Sleeping around is not something a traditional person does.

Being a player won’t help you to find a wife because women can smell players from miles and a goood woman doesn’t want to marry a player because they are scare of being replaced in the future by new sluts

Al Madison
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Nonsense. First of all you would never be able to tell a “player” who was ready from marriage from any other guy. Second, MOST players end up marrying that 6. Why ?? because they have banged so many women they are no longer phased by a woman’s looks that way and select for temperament and personality.

FisherOfMen
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because they have banged so many women they are no longer phased by a woman’s looks that way and select for temperament and personality.

Similarly, a person who shoots heroin daily quickly grows bored of the dopamine high and often quits heroin to switch to something more substantive, like fine cuisine.

Big Boi
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Interesting thread going on here. So I think most of us, especially redpill & mgtows, agree that for women her pair-bonding decreases the more sexual partners she has before marriage. But many feel that men are unaffected, which I don’t agree with.

How specifically are men affected? How would you quantify the specific-side effects for a guy who have many sexual partners before marriage?

I would say they are more emotionally detached and basically view women like objects not people-so I’m agreeing with Rivera(This is an extreme case: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx-p9Wr6xg0)

However, I feel many men are more confident & know how to have/sustain a LTR/marriage because of experience. But perhaps this could be avoided entirely by having strong father figures.

What do y’all think?

Kitty Tantrum
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Seconding what Al Madison said, more or less. You can tell a man isn’t serious about settling down by looking at his present behavior, regardless of how many partners he’s had. Likewise, you can tell a man IS serious about settling down by the same token.

I have no idea how many women my fiancé has slept with, but I’d imagine it’s a lot. He also gave twenty years of his life in service to our country, so I’m certainly not going to judge him for partaking of what companionship and comfort was available during a time when he was in no position to settle down.

He’s exactly the kind of man who said for years and years that he didn’t want to get married – until he met me. I’m not exactly hard on the eyes, but he could definitely still be sleeping with a succession of younger, hotter women if he wanted to.

I don’t worry about that, because it’s apparent from his behavior that he wants to be with a woman who treats him and behaves the way I do – and that’s a lot harder to come by than younger and hotter. Even if he were to suffer a momentary lapse in judgment and sleep with a younger/hotter woman, I don’t believe for one minute he’d ever leave me for that.

On the flip side, my first husband was a virgin, and ostensibly religious – as was I. He talked the talk, but he only walked the walk juuust long enough to get me firmly attached and then pulled a 180.

I’ll take a man who has had a hundred sluts and figured out that they’re disgusting over an inexperienced man who thinks he wants me to BE one any day.

Eaton Beaver
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When there’s a conflict between words and actions, actions ALWAYS tell the truth

Jay
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They would because of social proof. The more women a man has been with the more attractive he is. Doesn’t matter if she’s “traditional” or not. The greatest man a woman could ever get (in her mind) is a player who gave up all other women just for her, because she is special.

Kitty Tantrum
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My ex-boyfriend was a player who ostensibly gave up all other women for me because I was special. I suspect that approach doesn’t work out terribly often, because no matter how much he might have wanted it, he was nowhere near ready or on the proper trajectory. It wasn’t even that he still wanted to chase other women, more like he didn’t understand that I required a different sort of dynamic/different treatment than other women – and he had this whole big life set up around NOT having those sorts of familial responsibilities, and my being special didn’t make it easier to shift gears logistically. (Either that or he was lying and I got played – I certainly acknowledge the possibility. lol )

My fiancé hadn’t been with anyone for a couple of years when we met. He was legitimately tired of women. 45, never married, plenty of one-nighters and casual relationships, a few long-term/cohabitation situations that put him through the wringer, and a daughter he never even knew he had until she was 20. When I found him, his wild years were already firmly behind him and he was living simply and quietly in the middle of nowhere and focusing on his hobbies.

THAT is better in my opinion, because he shifted gears for HIMSELF and not for me.

FisherOfMen
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The more women a man has been with the more attractive he is.

There’s a limiting factor, though. This is true until the male reaches numbers that makes him a potential disease vector. For trad girls, of course, that number is pretty low– can be as low as 5.

The r-selected city-sluts have no upper limit, because they don’t have enough future planning.

Lauren
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That’s only true of corrupted slutty women not traditional women. How many traditional women have you known in real life? I know more than one good young virgin girl who want marriage and family above all like myself who all want to be with young virgin men only and think men that sleep around are gross. It is gross to think that the man you’re with has inserted himself into a bunch of dirty girls in the past. There is a big risk he could pass a disease onto you and STDs can destroy a woman’s reproductive system. STDs can also kill newborn babies and they catch them from their mother during birth. We also think that a man who has been with many women will have a greater temptation to cheat and even if he doesn’t cheat, he just won’t think that sex with me is special and sacred and that is important to me as a way for us to bond and cement our closeness in the marriage. It is sad because it seems that the only virgin men left are incels who are only that way because they have no choice and fantasize about being exactly like the other guys that sleep around. I wonder if success for girls like me lies in pretending to be a catholic (I don’t believe in God) and go searching in Ireland.

Lauren
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I also add I think it’s attractive and manly when a man saves his virginity because it shows that he is mature, high minded, has control over his urges and can resist temptation to be a degenerate.

Big Boi
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So for girls who are actually traditional and virgins(actually and not wanting to be)…what’s your ideal man like? A more masculine Tim Tebow type? Basically a guy with a lot of female attention but doesn’t cave in to it and keeps his virginity for his future wife? Also going along with the whole…he chose me over other girls that Kitty said..

Because you mention not finding incels attractive for 2 reasons:
“because they have no choice” and they “fantasize about sleeping around”

Which one of these is more important or they about the same. Seems like the rule that girls want what other girls want is always true.
Social proof/status still important to girls like you? Maybe not to super religious girls but yeah what are your thoughts? And saying its not a necessity but preferable-say a bit more than that…the “because they have no choice” says a lot lol

That being said…best wishes for finding the right husband

Lauren
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Incels are unattractive because in their hearts they’re not much different than the people who sleep around and would sleep around if they could. They aren’t voluntarily saving their virginity or being tested by having to resist temptation. They are just virgins because they haven’t had the opportunity to lose their virginity and if they did have the opportunity to they would jump on it. I respect men who save their virginity a lot because I understand how men have such strong sexual urges and resisting the temptation is a lot harder for them than it is for me. That is why I think boys and girls should really be getting married and starting families like in their late teens and this would cut down on promiscuity so much. But that is just my opinion.

I don’t really have an ideal type man. I guess just someone who is from my culture, values monogamy and family like I do, wants to have a big family and would be a good father. Strong and firm but also kind.

Big Boi
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I pretty much agree. And yes the solution would be a much earlier marriage but society almost globally has made this difficult both economically, socially, and through law. Everything is inverted. I feel most of the men who value monogamy that aren’t incels are usually religious. But another thing is that men are so emasculated now that even those who save their virginity might not be ideal, since they sadly don’t know how to handle women(It could still work out, but they act similar to the guys who “had no choice”).

There are still some men who have all the ideal traits but it is as rare as finding an attractive virgin girl(Maybe not as rare, but still rare–and going a century or two back this wasn’t a problem). The odds are stacked now, but if there’s a will, theres a way hopefully.

Kitty Tantrum
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Lauren, I hope to goodness that you are able to find an honorable man who sees eye to eye with you and meets your standards. I can’t argue with what you want or your reasoning. I felt much the same my first go-round, and I bet I still would if things had turned out differently for me.

But what I’ve come to understand in the dozen years or so since my first wedding day is that there is no checklist that guarantees us anything upon its completion. There are flaws in everyone and everything, including our perceptions. You can find a man who seems absolutely perfect, and still have the rug yanked out from under you a few years down the road.

I’ve also come to understand that people learn a lot more from the things they’ve done than from the things they haven’t – and in that same vein, you can generally ascertain quite a bit more about a person’s character and mettle from the lessons they have learned from their mistakes, than by merely taking inventory of the mistakes themselves.

That’s not to say that anybody ought to compromise on the standards they feel most strongly about. Especially when you have taken care to consistently live up to those standards yourself. It IS to say that many people who have made mistakes are capable of learning from them, and capable of being good spouses, good parents, and good upstanding members of their communities.

You seem to be dogmatic about your disbelief in God, to the point where you reject the notion of repentance and are looking for someone with an absolutely spotless material record. Problem is that in this crazy world, most people with a spotless record are simply untested.

It’s awfully cliché to say that it matters less where you’ve been than where you’re going, but it’s certainly true to a point. My own commitment to the path I’m on now is fortified by my working knowledge of where the other path goes.

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Yes and that’s the scary thing Kitty I am afraid of intimacy because I am terrified that somebody will hurt me or do something bad to me. I have a fairy tale idea in my head of what life should be like but so nervous to take the leap and start the life I wish for. So much could go wrong it feels safer to sit on the sidelines and watch life pass me by even though I know that’s not what I want and that I will be miserable in the end.

Jed E Mask
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Lauren, your situation caught my attention.

I’d advise you to seek out the help of your father or elder men of your family (to help prepare you for a good husband.

Please trust on Jesus Christ the Son of God and be saved.

You show promise…

Hoping and praying God’s Best for you in HIS WILL. Amen.

~ Bro. Jed

Kitty Tantrum
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I had those fairytale ideations myself, and the first couple years of my relationship with my first husband really did feel like I was living that fairytale. Then it all came crashing down, and a big part of that was because I idealized HIM as the perfect husband because he had all of these “qualifications” that made me so sure that he would never be the sort to cheat, leave the marriage, etc.

I also felt so strongly about remaining a virgin before marriage, and about doing everything I could to keep the marriage and family together – the idea of starting over as “used goods” with a couple of children in tow was more immediately and viscerally terrifying than anything he asked me to participate in.

He didn’t even have a particularly “strong frame” so to speak, but I fell into it regardless because of how I thought things were “supposed to be.”

So I completely understand your fears. I’ve been there.

And I wouldn’t go back and change any of it if I had to give up the children I have now.

Who is to say that if I had passed over my first husband – if I hadn’t jumped at the first reasonable opportunity to start a family with a man who seemed to meet my qualifications – that I would have had children at all?

Being childless at 32 would be a lot worse (to me, anyway) than anything I’ve had to go through.

And I’ve learned a lot of lessons that I wouldn’t be equipped to pass along to my children and the younger generation at large if I’d never had to face up to the pain and hardships that my poorer and more naive decisions have brought me.

There’s a good chance you won’t get exactly the life that you wish for. I think that all we can really do is to identify what is most important to us, and decide that it’s WORTH IT no matter what.

For me, raising children is my purpose. I’ve known that since I was teeny tiny. Of course I wanted a perfect marriage, too, but waiting years and years to find the perfect husband and finding that I could no longer bear children… THAT would have been failure for me.

As it is, I have a good enough family – and my children’s father has a good enough family (even though he’s ended up a bit of a black sheep), that the dissolution of that marriage is really a lot less dire than it felt with the perspective I had a few years ago. The marriage hurt me, and ending it hurt me, but my children have a good “village” regardless.

I say forget about safety and prepare yourself to struggle and fight for what you believe in. Make the best decisions you can with the information and resources you have. If something goes sideways and you stumble or fall or get pushed over, stand back up and keep fighting. Isn’t that what you would do for your children if you already had them? I think it’s worth doing the same to bring them into the world.

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It’s a very fortunate thing you sexually defunct sterile fools are addicted to cuck porn watching other men with big dicks plow women you could never have. Breeding your tiny dick arses right out of the gene pool is a blessing for mankind. Yay for porn, keep it up!

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Pornsluts can be hired as escorts. Not cheap (300-400/ hour) but totally feasible to “date” a pornslut.
They make a discount if you hired them for 24h. Less exhausting to service one guy than 4 at the same time, i guess.

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lol. Roosh has not even hit 40 yet. I was 40 when I started my pua journey and at 45 had my most exciting sexual peak — only now at 57 am I slowing down and have forced myself into no porn and no fap — which is challenging.

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Roosh, what if you went during a player phase into a relationship thinking that your urges to meet other women will cease, only to find out that they still exist.
Should I just accept that the urge will be there whether in a relationship or not, and enjoy the time left with my girlfriend?
As you and other men with high notches have stated, 100 bangs did not change you. So maybe I should trust the conclusions of the men before me.

al madison
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Men are meant to bang period.
Solution:
keep the main woman and keep mistresses………….

men have doing this since biblical times…………

Lauren
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This is evil because the man in question either has his mistress on contraception (and contraception is evil) or he is having a bunch of children he cannot afford to provide for.

He can be spreading diseases to his wife which could spread to their unborn children, possibly causing death.

He is corrupting other women (the mistresses) and if you care not for the suffering of women, mind that he is hurting men by corrupting another man’s daughter, sister, or future wife.

He is taking away women from other men when they could be marrying and having children with someone else instead of being a side-piece.

The purpose of sex is procreation and subverting that for the sake of hedonism is evil.

Sites like this one should normally be condemned but this one is so very valuable because it details the exploits of a man who has been through the hedonistic sex life, found the truths of it and is humble enough to share that with others.

Timur
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If STD’s are such a thing, icelanders and africans would be long dead. As well as most of europeans and asians.
Besides, the “purpose of sex is procreation” argument is way retarded.
If true, women would be in heat twice a year, and have no sexual urges otherwise. Yet even spayed human females have sexual needs.
Pretty much all wives would not appreciate to be reduced to a womb, touched only during ovulations and discarded during pregnancy, which will force their mate to seek release with other women, then justifying polygamy.
And if this the way you see relationships, why should a man invests time and efforts in you, if he can hire some broke girl as a surrogate, without the risk of having his child take away from him, as he will pay for full custody ?
Maybe you should consider doing this to make some bucks, and have alot of kids you’ll never know

Big Boi
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The purpose of sex is not just procreation but also pair bonding between a couple(which benefits the nurture for the procreations). This is sadly getting destroyed the more sexual partners we have.

And I agree/know the system is messed up to the point that starting a family/getting married is clearly not worth it unless ur willing to have ur nuts basically tied to the state.

But “hire a broke girl as a surrogate.”C’mon bruther! At least for me I’d want my kids to have a real mother(and father).

Let’s not entertain the surrogate option anymore than marriage in a broken system/society.

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I am getting more and more impressed with these articles, this blog.

NKU
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It all comes down to vulnerability in the end.

If you are in the so-called excitement phase and chasing after the next young thing, then you don’t care much what happens with the previous one. You have not invested anything, either financially or emotionally. You don’t care at all what she says to you, or how she acts around you. It’s all a game. And if the next one rejects you or gets bored, then so what. There is no oneitis problem, and no commitment. You stay lean, you move on, and you keep going.

Contrast this with when you find a wife-material girl who is worth keeping. Your life experience, along with the marriage laws and feminist culture have hammered it into your head, that if you settle down with her, that your relationship will be just as fragile as the next one. AWALT. Fifty plus percent divorce rate. She can betray you and walk away, at any moment, and you lose everything. Examples everywhere: she takes the house, she takes the kids, she has the power to wreck you and make you start all over again, at a much older age when you would want to have some family comfort. So when your wife-material girlfriend asks you “Hey, I want to know, where is this relationship going?” — what do you tell her?

I think the “have good girlfriend but want to bang sluts dilemma” is how this unconscious vulnerability problem plays itself out in the mind of late-20-something year old males, with average SMVs. As other users have pointed out, if your SMV was super high, or you if you had fuck you money, then there would be no dilemma. You could procreate in much more creative ways, like that Japanese billionaire’s son, who fathered more than 13 surrogate kids in Thailand. Or you would be a Chad, and can cuck other men or build a harem of corporate whores. Meanwhile, at the opposite end of the SMV spectrum, you have incels who will have to accept being cucks or bisexual friends or whatever self-deprecating bullshit just for the small chance of procreating.

God help us all.

Jay
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The solution is easy. Have a girlfriend/wife but cheat on her with sluts. Be careful to not be found out and never in any circumstance admit to having cheated. It works.

NKU
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NKU
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That only works in Asian countries.

al madison
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al madison
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Africa and Latin America and Eastern Europe and Caribbean as well.

FisherOfMen
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Nothing says “I love you” like bringing potential STDs onto the toilet seat you kids use.

Diddly squat
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Diddly squat
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Cool Jay, now fuck off with your putrid mentality. Hope your cheating wife brings you Tyrone’s gonorrhea.

jfmario
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jfmario
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Monogamist here.

This is a good post but I’d like to point out one thing, which is that you probably don’t need to wait until you feel like you are all done with excitement. I married early before any adventurous phase, so I don’t even have a good understanding for what I’ve missed (and I probably don’t want to have a good understanding), but after having committed to a marriage early, the problem of what I’ve missed/am missing doesn’t come up that often.

But it does sometimes, mostly when we’re fighting or otherwise strained (“ugh I’d take anyone else but you right now” may pop in to mind during those circumstances). Point being that if you’re in this bind you shouldn’t wait until you’re confident that you feel like adventure is done (I doubt it would ever be gone for most people). You just have to at some point make a decision with the knowledge that at certain times you will have to deal with the emotions of “what if I had done otherwise”. Its highly manageable and is mostly limited to the bad times of a relationship which you will learn to make less frequent with time as you come to understand each other more.

Again, no idea what the other side of the coin is like but the cost of settling early isn’t at all debilitating. Just occasional wanderlust.

Boony
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Boony
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Wow, this post couldn’t have hit me harder. I currently have a good girl who loves me very much and willing to follow me around the world and do whatever I want. The sex just doesn’t do it for me and I cannot stop thinking about banging sluts or the previous sluts I have banged. I’m in early 30s and really thought I had my fair share when I entered the relationship as for the previous year or 2 I had severe player burn out and didn’t care anymore. But the desire is back and back in a big way, so torn what to do.

I have a friend who I think has the best situation as he married young to a sweet girl and already has a son, however she will fully let’s him play up when he goes away with the lads. She insists she is ok with it as it’s just instinct for him and as long as she hears nothing about it and sees no trace, it’s all OK as long as out of the city they live. One in a million he got himself there

Dangling Chad
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Dangling Chad
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When he’s away she’s lighting the wick herself mate.

Ryan Lewis
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Ryan Lewis
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Happy that I dont have this problem. Ive banged close to 100 women and finally met my snowflake. I have the odd perv for sure but i dont feel tempted anymore because ive quenched my thirst and know what its like being on the otherside

splooge
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splooge
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so true, definitely saw this growing up comparing tradional and “modern” dating aka east and west. ONe has stability and other has freedom and both look at each other with greener grass.

old school latin italian culture the boy would just practice on a bunch of hookers to get what ever kinky notch out of his system like black blonde redhead etc and save relationships with good girls.

not advocating p4p but that seems to be the case as you hone your game to find a wife.
slut chasing is a hamster wheel thatll keep you going and never satisfied.

Vincent Vinturi
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Vincent Vinturi
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This is a false dichotomy.

The WAY to stay interested in your primary partner long term is to discreetly and safely get your variety on the side as most of Asia does. But not only Asia.

There’s Italian culture which has the gumada phenomenon. Islam and Mormonism has its multiple wives. As do various African countries. South American men tend to just fuck around nilly willy; not as sophisticated an approach. Basically all Japanese men go to prostitutes. Etc, etc.

You’ll never eliminate the need for variety by your own admission. So the answer is to compartmentalize that part of your life.

There’s sex for the sake of satisfying the need for variety, which by your own admission is insatiable, and then there’s a partnership with somebody you trust to be a good friend, a good wife and a good mother.

There’s no reason you should ever mix the two, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t have both. In fact I’m convinced that one of the keys to staying interested in your primary partner long term and keeping your mojo high is to get your kicks discreetly on the side from time to time.

Lauren
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Lauren
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This is very evil because you are spending resources on chasing women for cheap thrills instead of spending them on your family. You are risking spreading STDs to the mother of your children because you want a selfish thrill. You are dirtying yourself and weakening the bond between you, sex is supposed to be a sacred and special thing between two people who love each other. Not something dirty done for a cheap thrill. STDs spread to your newborn baby can kill him. Contraception is evil. The purpose of sex is procreation and subverting that for the sake of hedonism is evil.

Vincent VInturi
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Vincent VInturi
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Oh please lady, get off your high horse.

In the first place, how a man spends his resources is his business and nobody else’s.

Secondly, you are not NOT spending them on your family. You’re spending a rather insignificant amount of money (or none at all because nobody is saying you have to go to a pro) to prevent the boredom and burnout that occur from having sex with the same woman over and over again. IF you even have sex anymore past a certain point.

It is a studied, documented phenomenon that men who mate with a variety of partners have a greater appetite for their primary partner. It’s called the Coolidge effect.

Your view of resource expenditure is myopic. It’s an investment not an expense, in the longevity of your relationship by maintaining sexual interest long past the point where most monogamous couples become tepid.

In terms of STDs, that is the only legitimate point in your argument. It’s something you should treat very seriously by being extra careful and safe. DOes that guarantee you won’t get something (like herpes which can be transmitted whether you use protection or not)? No, of course not.

But did you and your long term partner both go to the hospital to test for every disease great or small before you hopped into bed? Or were you just selfish and evil and did it anyway? Most people aren’t even aware of many STDs that are rarely tested for unless specifically requested, like mycoplasmas, ureaplasmas, HPVs, HSV, cytomegalovirus, hepatitis, and others. Do you have all of these reports ready to show a prospective sex partner, and do they have it to show you?

Did you do that with every partner you ever slept with before you slept with them? Or are you both just EVIL?

In terms of weakening your bond with your partner: you are confusing what bonds a man to a woman in a long term relationship with a physical need that men need to satisfy from time to time. Men choose long term partners based on a woman’s character (in an ideal world) and her ability to be a good partner and mother in their common vision for their lives. You don’t choose her based on how hot the sex is (at least that should be a distant consideration). So you weaken absolutely nothing because you are scratching an itch that she can’t scratch. You are in fact strengthening your bond. But I certainly don’t expect anybody to understand or agree with my rather unpopular view on this topic.

Finally “the purpose of sex is procreation” is you being intellectually dishonest. That is ONE purpose of sex. There are at least several more that are obvious to anybody speaking truthfully.

– Pleasure
– Improved hormonal profile
– Improved emotional profile
– IMproved prostate health
– Better sleep
– Better ability to concentrate

Caged animals have sex solely for procreation.

Lauren
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Lauren
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Explain all this to your wife when she wonders why she has to have a c-section to prevent spreading life-threatening herpes to your newborn son or if she finds herself unable to conceive after some other STD has destroyed her internal reproductive system.

The previous article on this site before this one explained how casual sex lowers the bond between partners. Sleeping with other people damages your bond and you’re just rationalizing your desire for cheap thrills. Infidelity is betrayal plain and simple it shows you have no honour or loyalty. Sex is an intimate act and any man who will cheat with some random dirty girl has shown that sex is not an intimate act to him, or special, it’s just a past time. Do you think your son would be proud to learn that you fucked around on his mother?

Yes I would agree to test for every disease before marriage if my partner wanted to. But I do believe it is impossible to carry an STD if the marriage partners are virgins and enter a lifetime monogamous marriage.

Even if you don’t spend them on a prostitute you still have to spend time and resources on a woman you’re having sex with, time and resources taken away from your home life with your family. A loyal and good woman doesn’t deserve to be punished with betrayal and risk of disease. Even if you don’t care about women, by using some side woman as a sexual plaything you are ruining the daughter, sister, or future wife of one of your fellow men.

Sluts and cads ruin the whole society especially now that they are breeding antibiotic resistant diseases. The whole society is sick and rotten to the core and it’s because of peoples stupid lust, greed, and gluttony.

Lauren
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Lauren
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Noble people are here to strengthen their families and communities not pursue selfish hedonism and weaken it. If you’re bored of having sex with the same woman why don’t you do things like buy her wigs and roleplay costumes. Ask her to lose or gain 15 pounds so her body changes. Then you can sometimes pretend she’s a new woman or something. Ask her to act with a different persona for fun so you get some novelty. Some people might not be able to afford such novelties but if a man has the money to waste on pursuing sex outside the marriage then he can afford such things I’m sure. Or give your wife money that she can invest in her appearance. Much of a woman’s appearance is just bought with cosmetics, clothing, hair and skin products, etc. Real life is the opposite of what you’re saying. I’ve known families torn apart by infidelity. It wasn’t an investment in their relationship at all.

Vincent Vinturi
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Vincent Vinturi
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Points well taken.

Vincent Vinturi
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Vincent Vinturi
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I disagree with your points about infidelity or the weakening of bonds, but I share your concern about STDs.

Dangling Chad
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Dangling Chad
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If you want to say AWALT so don’t settle down, fine. But once you walk that aisle you better fulfill your lust in her. Wives are ready and willing to give it up to their husbands when he is a man worthy of her submission. Game has helped me in marriage more than it ever helped me in chasing skirt. Get married, bang her like a whore, husband her like a beloved friend and cherish her like your momma if she’s given you children. But always hold frame and lead with a firm hand. Wives are dying to be dominated by a strong husband.

FSK
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FSK
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Edward Easterling
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Edward Easterling
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I probably shouldn’t say anything. Only, I feel like banging sluts destroyed my soul. It’s nearly impossible for me, age 53, to bond with a woman now. Truth is I no longer care about women. I don’t hate them. I am indifferent to them.
When I was younger I wouldn’t have known a good girl if she kissed me. Sad.
It’s simple. There’s nothing special about any of us. If a good girl loves you, you better stick with her.
Good article Roosh.

Albert
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Albert
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I am 27, I have a really nice and submissive girlfriend and I look those little sluts disgusted. For sure I would bang them but then I think about the effort I would put into just for entering a wet hole when I have a much-better person at home which supports me, cooks and joins my activities. I immediately change my mind and I feel happy to be in a healthy relationship. Will things change? Maybe, but so far I enjoy it. Plus, not thinking about banging sluts all the time gives me much more time for pursuing other activities such as learning foreign languages and sports.

Matt
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Matt
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I love submissive girls its really fun. Your gf sounds amaxibg

Tom
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Tom
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You’re doing the right thing, use the extra time to build a better life. More money, more freedom.

Tom
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Tom
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Unfortunately, this is a dilemma I’ve learnt from the hard way…

I met my ex during a ‘hot streak’ where I was seeing 4 other chicks. She was really, really into the relationship and showered me in love and affection.

She was a genuinely lovely girl. 10 years younger, very pretty. A solid 8, mostly due to her youth. Perfect skin, nice figure, but more importantly kind and genuine.

Didn’t drink, didn’t smoke. Didn’t have a single night out with her friends during out year together.

I fucked up by dreaming about my game days, didn’t commit fully. I moved away for work and we ended up breaking up.

I have banged 10 new girls in the 9 months since we split. It’s never felt more empty. I’ve finally understood the transient stimulation of casual sex is nothing but an illusion.

As a man, it’s important to develop the understanding of female nature, and characteristics that allow you to attract a high quality woman. However, once you’re there, don’t get stuck in the loop of endlessly chasing new girls.

Look at the older RSD guys. Look at guys like Tom Torero. It’s embarrassing for a grown man’s life to be consumed by the pursuit of sex.

Family, friendship, honour, faith. These are the things we should cherish and cultivate in our 30s and 40s.

Don’t fool yourself. The 38 year old PUA with 100s of notches, waiting a couple of years before he ‘settles down’ is the equivalent of a 29 year old office girl perusing tinder for hot guys, thinking she can find ‘the one’ once she’s done being used as a walking cum receptacle.

The truth is life is about sacrifice.

If you want family, a partner, a none-solitary future – you need to learn to sacrifice the thrill of chasing young flesh. It becomes more and more meaningless. Find higher goals, and find someone worth investing in to share your life with.

Good women, even more so than good men, are rare. If you find one, I’d advise not fucking it up.

On your death bed, whilst your life flitters by, ask yourself.. will you regret not fucking more sluts or will you regret letting someone you had a genuine connection with slip through your fingers and into somebody else’s arms?

K Vizzle
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K Vizzle
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I was lucky. I had a great girl, I broke up with her and banged sluts for a couple of years and then got her back. We have been happily married now for 10 years.

JVWright
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JVWright
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JRR Tolkien who’s wife & muse inspired him to write Lord of the Rings even had his doubts & troubles. His take on it explaining it to his son is something truly noteworthy: https://www.catholicgentleman.net/2015/07/tolkien-speaks-the-secret-to-a-happy-marriage/

SaugaMan
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SaugaMan
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I wish you chose a different picture…

ZZXX
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ZZXX
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Your dream girlfriend will eventually grow tired of you, happens all the time, even with the best men.

If Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp are not enough to keep a girl, what makes you think you can do it?

Kitty Tantrum
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VIP Member

Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp are Hollywood trainwrecks. Why on earth would you think they’d be qualified to keep a woman? That’s like holding a couple of porn stars out as examples of women most likely to be able to keep a man.

Splooge
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Splooge
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You can still get conned either way when you put the ring on or worse give the green card. Nothing is guarenteed in life. If it was wed all known years and decades ago.
comment imagecomment image” rel=”nofollow”>
https://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/comments/aecjcp/white_boy_put_in_his_place/

Do mot get hustled like this guy

jiosjefiowe
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I have this theory. Was thinking about it. Maybe true maybe not. Did you ever think that one of the people you´ve banned from the forum. Can be banning you?
You decry it´s SLPC which is banning you. And you send emails complaining. But here´s there any complain on the forum for unlawful bans? And the criteria?

You went to Turkey it was a shithole. Serbia also shit. But you want to import islam into Europe. You seem to have a fall for Islam. Have you travelled to an islamic country?
First do that. Then talk. Islamic countries are shithole. In some ways your arab authocratic genes are surfacing. But go and live in an islamic country. Some of them are 2 hour away from were you are.

You are talking too much about gays. Are you projecting? Stop with the obsession with faggots or whatever. It leads to nothing. Things will change regardless of what you or anyone does. Unfortunately dictatorships will appear. Taking away liberties. You will then see what is real opression. They´ve pushed the envelope too far left. Now it´s going right. Just like a rubber band. It´s a sad situation.

Populism leads to wars. Just read any history book.

Banning criticism leads to nothing. Is your ego this fragile? You can´t stand criticism? You equate criticism to atacks. They´re not. If nobody tells you nothing soon you will walking around without clothes and thinking you have the nicest outfit in the city.

Stop blaming society. And look into your own shortfalls. You´ve lead a life of degradation. Thaught this would caught up? There´s a time and place for everything. But don´t change into extremes. The chinese and the arabs do that. They take things way out of proportion. Making gigantic swings. Like you are hurting they´re honor. In the end they are childs. I equate all of those regimes to children people.

Why do I care? I care for selfish reasons. Getting value from your writings. Now your looking for fame. Your a fame whore. There´s a difference from notoriety and fame. Learn it. Fame can come not from your merit but simply from the ability to shock people. You think being famous has any merit. I was invited to speak on national tv and refused every single time. Always? Fame also has the other side which you haven´t felt yet. Your life doesn´t belong to you anymore. And every thing you do is heavily scrutinized. Just by writting in this comments section I´ve been tracked by a journalist. They use a company in India to get your info.

The problem of todays society is excessive regulation. Cunt. If the state wants they can fuck you over in 1M ways. And you want a muslim theocratic society? Idiot. A site or forum like yours would never exist. I´m a libertarian conservative. Which is the best model known to man.

As long as I get value from your site and forum will continue writing. It´s getting lower and lower. This means you would read 5 hours. 2,5hours were worth it. Now you read 5 hours and get 20minutes of value. There will come a time when you will read 5 hours and get 1 minute of value. This will be the moment I stop reading.
My father as a law degree. My grandfather was a physics engineer. My mother has two degrees. One philosophy
Why did your father exiled from Iran?
I have this theory. Was thinking about it. Maybe true maybe not. Did you ever think that one of the people you´ve banned from the forum. Can be banning you?
You decry it´s SLPC which is banning you. And you send emails complaining. But here´s there any complain on the forum for unlawful bans? And the criteria?

You went to Turkey it was a shithole. Serbia also shit. But you want to import islam into Europe. You seem to have a fall for Islam. Have you travelled to an islamic country?
First do that. Then talk. Islamic countries are shithole. In some ways your arab authocratic genes are surfacing. But go and live in an islamic country. Some of them are 2 hour away from were you are.

You are talking too much about gays. Are you projecting? Stop with the obsession with faggots or whatever. It leads to nothing. Things will change regardless of what you or anyone does. Unfortunately dictatorships will appear. Taking away liberties. You will then see what is real opression. They´ve pushed the envelope too far left. Now it´s going right. Just like a rubber band. It´s a sad situation.

Populism leads to wars. Just read any history book.

Banning criticism leads to nothing. Is your ego this fragile? You can´t stand criticism? You equate criticism to atacks. They´re not. If nobody tells you nothing soon you will walking around without clothes and thinking you have the nicest outfit in the city.

Stop blaming society. And look into your own shortfalls. You´ve lead a life of degradation. Thaught this would caught up? There´s a time and place for everything. But don´t change into extremes. The chinese and the arabs do that. They take things way out of proportion. Making gigantic swings. Like you are hurting they´re honor. In the end they are childs. I equate all of those regimes to children people.

Why do I care? I care for selfish reasons. Getting value from your writings. Now your looking for fame. Your a fame whore. There´s a difference from notoriety and fame. Learn it. Fame can come not from your merit but simply from the ability to shock people. You think being famous has any merit. I was invited to speak on national tv and refused every single time. Always? Fame also has the other side which you haven´t felt yet. Your life doesn´t belong to you anymore. And every thing you do is heavily scrutinized. Just by writting in this comments section I´ve been tracked by a journalist. They use a company in India to get your info.

The problem of todays society is excessive regulation. Cunt. If the state wants they can fuck you over in 1M ways. And you want a muslim theocratic society? Idiot. A site or forum like yours would never exist. I´m a libertarian conservative. Which is the best model known to man.

As long as I get value from your site and forum will continue writing. It´s getting lower and lower. This means you would read 5 hours. 2,5hours were worth it. Now you read 5 hours and get 20minutes of value. There will come a time when you will read 5 hours and get 1 minute of value. This will be the moment I stop reading.

I´m actually very well paid for my comments.

Why did your father exiled from Iran?

Messiah
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Messiah
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G_D says you can have up to 4 Wives. 1 is enough for me. Why throw away a wife to bang Garbage wrapped in a pretty wrapper? Std’s, child support, spreading corruption? Ejaculating in your wife is better then banging a public restroom ‘booty’ where you are neither the first nor the last to do so. G_D is real, and you know how fast this life we are in passes by! You dont need a religion, the religion belongs to G_D. Just talk to him in your heart and mind and if he wants He Will guide you to his straight path. We are all going back to him anyways. Roosh, you should go back home and marry a good Muslim Girl. You can thank me later wink
May Peace be upon u Roosh.

Erik
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Erik
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I had the same “problem” but went into it as an open relation. I can FwB all day and have a long term gf. The real benefit here, you stay on your mission and you stay relevant and interesting, because you never get complacent. Complacency is the relationship killer- stop working out, stop being attractive, stop personally growing. With open relationships, if she leaves, you are not a fat bombed out wreak of a beta man. You have a solid choice of other women you can bang to get over her. Most relationships end, so doing this is like insurance.

Cole1981
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Cole1981
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I think it is doable if you know your shizzle in all departments, especially in the sackeroo.
I’m 8 months in with a “good girl” who has all the bells and whistles and bang sluts on tbe side. Aim is to make two FBs of my choosing and keep the LTR prospering. If you present enough value and deliver on it she will share you rather than compromise.

Erik
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Erik
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For me I always got lazy in relationships. This way my game is so sharp and relevant- I am social, interesting, and “on”. Women hate it but love it if they suspect you are banging other women, but love it that they know you have high value because of the social proof. Had near 6 year relationship, and took over 2 years to get back into game that first year I couldn’t even talk to women (prior had no issues with pickup) that’s how rusty I was.

Lauren
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Lauren
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Sure she’ll love it when you give her herpes and chlamydia!

al madison
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al madison
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see Condoms

Reddbehrens
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Reddbehrens
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Our society teaches people not to be happy with what they have and who they are with. I’ve seen people dump great girlfriends/boyfriends, only later to realize that they made a mistake. The media keeps reinforcing the idea that there is something/someone better out there. I can’t count the number of aging corporate feminists I’ve met who really believe that they are going to meet a male model looking executive who is going to fall in love with them and give them a fabulous life.
BTW: It is much better to be going through your “sewing your wild oats” phase in your 20s and 30s, before you decide to look for a serious relationship, than to break up a marriage because you decided that you want to have fun and sleep around.

stoneybaloney
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stoneybaloney
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There are two other options:

1) Stay with the good girl but cheat on the side
2) Persuade the good girl to join you in becoming swingers

Neither of these solutions are perfect, they come with their own tradeoffs and pros/cons, but they’re options.

Damian
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Damian
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I usually enjoy articles I read here, but this one… I don’t know? what is wrong with it?
For starters… did you never ever hear the saying:
“She’s not yours, it’s just your turn!”
If you didn’t, then think for a moment before you decide if it contains perhaps more than a grain of truth.
I think it’s true. So stop deluding yourself. There is no real stability. Not unless you drop your standards beyond the usual meaning of the word “stability” (because at some point you invested so much, that you cannot accept it ended up in failure?).
On the other hand, the alternative to “stability” is not sleeping with sluts, that’s utter nonsense in my view. Simple is good, but over simplifying is not. To reduce the possible relationships in the simplistic way described in the article is an error in judgment (I’ll let you figure out which logical fallacy applies best).
For instance, what about “friends with benefits”? where does that fit? or you never heard about it?? Come on, let’s stop the nonsense.
Just remember: “Shes’s not yours, it’s just your turn!” and keep a number of interactions alive, happy and healthy. That number that could be 1 , or more, if you can, if you prefer, and if you don’t want to go through loneliness or occasional meaningless interaction in between more satisfying relationships.
Not easy? I agree. but it’s worth it. Much less toxic than the occasional desperation produced by unwanted loneliness between “stable” relationships.
Actually women know the above and quietly practice it, perhaps much more than men… The system is tried and true, for ages. Only the wannabe heroes ignore the facts of nature and delude themselves with fake stability, because they cannot handle the truth.
“She’s not yours, it’s just your turn!” Enjoy the real life!

al madison
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al madison
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tru