When You Set A Goal, You Inherit A Lifestyle

Upon setting a goal, you fantasize about the pleasure you’ll receive from accomplishing it. The problem is that only a tiny percentage of your overall time is spent enjoying the actual goal. Instead, most of your efforts go into the tasks towards achieving it. The work you do for the goal becomes your life, not the goal itself.

Let’s say a man wants to get into game because he wants sex. He’s a night person so he decides to meet girls at bars. He imagines all the drunk sluts he will sleep with. Even if his game is good, most of his time will be spent at the bars drinking alcohol while a tiny percentage will be spent in actual fornication. His life is not one of sex, but of going to bars.

An obese career woman sits all day at work and binges on junk food at night. She is starting to have back and knee pain. She imagines being thin, more beautiful, and free of pain, so she goes vegan and signs up for Crossfit. Her life now becomes that of veganism and Crossfit, which will dominate her free time. Even when she hits her health goal, she will spend that renewed health to continue being a vegan while doing Crossfit instead of just being healthy in isolation.

Fame works the same way. You work so hard to achieve a goal of receiving adoration from the masses, but your lifestyle becomes one of self-promotion and using Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. You’re forced to spend hours a day referring to yourself in a positive manner instead of receiving the love that you imagined.

Whatever you do to achieve a goal becomes your lifestyle. The goal is the dessert, the 1% reward from your efforts, but there is the 99% that you must continually do to maintain the goal. Are you ready to labor and obsess over trivial activities so that you can reach your “dreams”? Because that’s the price you must pay when you set goals. You’re trained in the West to believe that things are “worth it in the end,” but most of the time it’s not. The goal is a way to keep you busy and distracted.

As I mentioned before, the best goal is one where you enjoy the entire process. Merely craving the end goal will not be enough. A lot of men want to get laid with beautiful women, but they can’t maintain continuous effort of hunting for them on the streets or bars. A lot of men want big muscles, but they can’t maintain a continuous program of working out in the gym or watching their diet. If these men set goals around sex or muscles, they will fail. I have a goal to finish books, and since I like the process of writing, my goal is an inevitable conclusion of what I like doing, which means I’m likely to succeed.

A man with multiple goals is stretched too thin, because all of his energy and willpower is being used to maintain multiple lifestyles. He thinks the more goals the better, because then he will reach his potential and enjoy the fruits of life, but those fruits are such a tiny percentage of his overall goal work that he’s slowly burning himself out doing things he doesn’t feel passionate about. Set a goal, but understand what lifestyle you’ll be forced to inherit while you try to achieve it.

Read Next: Beware Of Goals With Numbers

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j molonoy
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Based on your lifestyle Roosh, your goal seems to be casual sex. But what about when you get older and can’t pull the girls as easily? What will you do then?

Hubert Cumberdale
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Roosh will probably read more, continue his anti-SJW work, help like-minded fellow men, and perhaps travel more but with more sightseeing in mind rather than just chasing skirt. Or a 50/50 thing for balance.

He’ll find a way, and just evolve into what you’d expect a 40s man does.

David
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I’ve come to terms with this too. I guess I never thought about what older people do with their time. When we’re young, we assume some loving girl will be interested in all the stuff that we are and join us. Usually that is not the case lol. Even if they are, we are usually so annoyed by the monogamy that comes with it, that we’d rather have some “time with the buddies” or “me time” alone anyway.

j molonoy
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J*WS have a goal of using mass immigration and other devices to destroy whites and make nonwhites the new slaves. Their lifestyle involves pedophilia, homosexuality(rabbis sucking litle boys cocks), rape, thieving, lying, abusing Palestinians and murdering people. These sick fucks have no culture.

Ebberman
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You are a weird bigot. I hope you get better soon.

Shmalkandik
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You have falsehoods, not facts. And of course, the usual set of libels.

Your future is Islam and the 72 virgins..

PresidentCamacho
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I’ve heard this said before as ‘If you love your job you’ll never work a day in your life.’

anon1
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Wallstreetplayboys has a section on one of their articles about how comparison to others is silly. they mention when you look at a billionaire and want their kind of wealth would you agree to it if you had choose everything they had to do around that. As in the bullshit meetings, the not having anyone you trust, all of it. people don;t take that into account when they’re envying someone. they have to have that person’s lifestyle to have that person’s wealth

clever people often come round to similar conclusions because they think deeply

Larry Darrell
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Pursuing goals is tiresome. It exists exhusts the willpower quickly and more often than not results in failure. Henxe, the systems approach described by Scott Adams in his book How To Fail.. works better. The post linked below elaborates on it.

https://maxnewmanblog.wordpress.com/2017/05/06/systems-approach-be-happy-and-successful-everyday/

David
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Great book. Most of my goals look like this:

Spend 5 hours a week studying a language
Spend 1 hour a week at salsa class
Spend 5 hours a week on a side business
Spend 5 hours per week lifting

Seems to work great. Others are at home watching tv while I”m becoming a renaissance man.

OceanSon
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Totally…too much dogmatic structure can be a bleak road to goals. Even if the goal is noble and cool, there’s this dirty energy fogging up the development phase. I’ve seen some “ambitious” people going after certain goals like it’s boot camp and they are miserable in the 99%/process void. It almost killed their potential. I only know b/c I made the mistake myself a few times, and it was a 2-dimensional existence; had to break free, reset the approach.

Systems approach also helps you to self-edit your weakness with less pressure (sort-of prune away the dilettante-ism and areas of incompetence) as it slowly begins to sink in what you are naturally capable of, where your unique skills are surfacing. That’s when the little “a-ha” moments sneak up to fuel next-level pursuits. You still have to be type-A, assertive and channel it properly so as not to arrive at a wandering dead end. The delayed gratification of some far-off goal is even sweeter when it arrives. I like it because you are demanding something of yourself, even striving to outshine your forebears with goals that matter, but the step-wise progression is not *irrationally* demanding. I’ve known super “goal-tracker” types who come across anal-retentive and too demanding of themselves sometimes, and the joy of living can slip away. They get flustered when others make it look easy, and they are prone to emotionally-punishing “cold streaks” as they trudge up Goal Mountain.

BTW — solid article, Roosh…better than what was posted to ROK today, by far. Through your writings you are honing master in seeing how the world really works. Ever forward..

asdfk
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This is true only if you set the wrong goals.

Having X million is a shitty goal for the reasons described above. Same for a certain notch count.

A goal should not focus on gratification, but only on solving a problem or fulfilling a legitimate need.

Example: “Making 3 million or creating a passive income stream equaling $5000 a month SO you never have to think about money again and do not have to be a wage slave.”

The bar is obviously lower for you. You’re happy with what you got. There’s no need for a new monetary goal because you have successfully fulfilled your needs and do not have the problems that come with scarcity.

Another example: “I want to bang a good-looking girl every month SO I get some game skills SO when the woman of my dreams comes along I have an increased chance of getting her”.

You want your dream woman but if she comes along and you don’t have any game skills, you are screwed. Banging a hot girl, even if you don’t like her, is the way to stay sharp so you don’t let the woman who’s perfect for you slip you by.

Both these goals fulfill a need, but only to avert negative consequences if it’s not fulfilled. One is the undeniable need for money as to not become homeless or live below your standards for quality of life, wether it’s 500$ or 5000$ a month. The other one is about avoiding staying single for the rest of your life and being able to find a woman that’s right for you, wether it’s a morbidly obese feminist or a hot chick with actual brains is up to you.

Not making money = homeless and not gaming = staying a virgin or incel. The point of diminishing returns is different for everyone. You have reached fulfillment for the monetary and sexual goals, as it seems, but most men that read your blog are not in that same position (why else would they read your material?)

Djay
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Very well said Roosh.

Nate
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This is a really good and insightful article

David
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I have a lot of goals, but it’s because I have a lot of hobbies. At 35, I’ve gone through multiple career successes, learned languages, musical instruments, salsa dancing, traveling.

One thing I did NOT do is MONOGAMY.

Marius Aetius Lucullus
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“At 35, I’ve gone through multiple career successes, learned languages, musical instruments, salsa dancing, traveling.”

good stuff man, its goals like this that every man in todays world should aim to achieve

Chris W
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I think you make a good point about how Western society programs people to mindlessly strive for goals that put them on an endless treadmill; however, I don’t think it’s wrong to have goals. It’s an inner weakness, inferiority complex that causes certain people to be consumed by their goals. The weak are victim to the bullshit that the establishment sells them. One has to set goals but do so in moderation. You can stay in shape without going to the gym everyday. You can eat healthy and still go out sometimes. The problem with the modern world is that everyone has been programmed to live in fear and that leads to mental illness.

Ebberman
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I agree. It’s not wrong to have goals, but it’s unhealthy to have unrealistic or silly goals. If you make outrageous goals you’ll end up depressed or at least with a low opinion of yourself. One should set goals that are acheivable, and the journey itself should be enjoyable. After all, as Roosh said, the journey is the long bit. Arriving is simply the end of an enjoyable journey.

JP Magoots
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JP Magoots
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Very wise words, and I will consider making some changes to be less “goal oriented.” Thanks Roosh.

TyKo Steamboat
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Great article uncle Roosh

ProudlyUnaffiliated
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Great point!

Johan Wijaya
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Johan Wijaya
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Roosh, this is a great post. Thank you.

Shmalkandik
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Epicurus solved this problem over 2200 years ago. You can go read him, or this short summary. The goal of life is Ataraxia – freedom from aggravation. Reduce the amount of aggravation in your life, regardless of source. Become a rational pleasure seek, recognizing that pleasure is not a madimand in itself, but a by product of achieving goals. Be prepared to defend sor attack, as need, political developments that interfere with the pursuit of Ataraxia. We do not seek to optimize around virtue, but recognize the virtues, by controlling excess desire, can enable Ataraxia.