Who Is This Slapdick?

Another cute girl. She’s going to get her drink and then walk out the door. This Starbucks sucks.

No it’s good. You get a lot of work done because there aren’t a lot of distractions.

But look at her body, her long hair.

It’s hard to tell. Up close she could be a mess.

Wait, she’s staying. She grabbed the paper. Interesting, she’s sitting right next to me. This never happens.

Just stick to your work. There’s time for work and there’s time for play.

No this is an opportunity. She’s reading the sports section. Weird, why is she reading the sports section?

To see how many touchdowns her favorite football player scored. She obviously likes athletics… look at her body. She’s not interested in “writers.”

Get fucked. Okay I have to say something. What to say, what to say. Like it really matters anyway.

She’s not even looking up or making sighing noises. She doesn’t want to be bothered. She’s probably waiting for someone.

You shutup. She’s reading the classified section now. She’s bored. But yeah she’s probably waiting for someone.

You don’t even know how cute she is. You only saw her profile. She could be ugly.

So what? If I say something I don’t have to marry her. If she’s ugly then I’ll let the conversation die out. Okay say something now, she’s looking at the window.

“If you’re bored with the newspaper I have a book you can borrow. It’s very long though you may not get it done within the next fifteen minutes.”

Good job stud, she laughed. You got the magic.

Did you see her face? She’s 16!

She does look a little young. But she’s developed. You like that cute laugh though…

Whoop-dee-doo. Now what are you gonna do?

Shit I’m not sure. She didn’t ask me the name of the book. She could have at least asked. I would have asked. She’s giving me no encouragement.

Correct, because she doesn’t like you. Go back to work.

It’s done, she’s back in the newspaper, the classifieds. I won’t continue this.

You should have come up with something better. Wait, who is this slapdick?

It’s her friend. They didn’t greet with a hug or kiss.

Whatever. They’re talking about going to college. Congratulations you get snubbed by a high school girl. How do you feel?

The same. Look, if it wasn’t for me you’d never get laid. I’m sure she was just unnerved by our rugged appearance. She’s not used to talking to a real man.

Yeah, that’s it. :rolleyes:

Alright let’s get back to work.

Giddy. Hey on the way home can we get a corn muffin from Giant? They’re so delicious.

Done.

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Tampa
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Tampa
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That’s me at Local 16 on Friday night.

God, I’m a loser.

Deutlich
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Deutlich
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You’re special.

Deutlich’s last blog post: Conversations From The Fam.

rdj
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rdj
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haha, wow, the thought proecesses sounds a little familar, haha excellent Roosh, nailed it.

Lemmonex
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Lemmonex
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I am sure she just had some feelings of “Stranger Danger”. They teach the kids that at school.

Lemmonex’s last blog post: Thankful.

Doug
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Doug
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I hate it when that happens, you catch the profile, but then they either turn out to be either ugly, way under age, or way OVER age. Good post.

Doug’s last blog post: Breaking Up.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Haha

The G Manifesto
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Roosh,

Stay out of Starbucks. Don’t support the corprotocracy.

Unless you are going to fire bomb the place.

And another thing: Play it like Tupac. Always ID girls.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Guest Manifesto: I’m from the Place where Hardcore is Beautiful.

The G Manifesto
Guest

I don’t know if any of what I wrote made sense.

Its 7:40 am in Beverly Hills. I got a biz meeting in a little bit.

And the flyest exotic dancer ever just left my crib.

Need sleep.

And a one way ticket to Bogota.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Guest Manifesto: I’m from the Place where Hardcore is Beautiful.

The Gay Manifesto
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The Gay Manifesto
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@ G
Dude nobody fucking cares about your gay ass “baller ” lifestyle. Quit filling the comment section with your DHV spam.

The G Manifesto
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#9 Calm down

“baller ” lifestyle?”

I think it is just normal.

“DHV spam”

What?

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Guest Manifesto: I’m from the Place where Hardcore is Beautiful.

Jack Goes Forth
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beautiful. This shit happens all the time, to every guy.

when all else fails, offer to hit the liquor store for them.

Jack Goes Forth’s last blog post: Good Book Recommendations?.

Atheist Messiah
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ha, that’s just as funny as the stuff that goes through MY head…

and “Gay manifesto”… LOL

Eugenius
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Eugenius
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Good, quality writing….

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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if shes in college Id bate them w/ weed.It works most of the time.

EZ
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EZ
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I think he meant bait.Learn to spell!

R. Mutt
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R. Mutt
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Yea! Hard Candy for Roosh..hahahaha

RW
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RW
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Okay this was moving along fine, we’ve all been there. Something in the vicinity looking good but not quite identifiable.

But uhmm you kinda lost me after she’s 16 part. Excuse me but why the hell would you care one iota after seeing it’s a little girl.

What does it say for your self-esteem (and maturity) that you feel compelled to garner the interests of a 16 year old?

Some thought on that matter is very much in order. WTF, are you going to post links on the site to kiddie porn?

Man, that is scary.

Dirk Diggler
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Dirk Diggler
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FYI, 16 is legal in most states.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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They call me Cheaster.Dont act like you dont look at teens .
If there’s hair on the muff,shes old enough!

roissy
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roissy
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i can’t tell you how many supple underage teenage babes i’ve accidentally found myself lusting. my id usually wins.

:jailhump:

roissy’s last blog post: How To Screw Up A Date.

anon
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anon
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Fail.

Expat Rock Star
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Living in Southeast Asia that happens all the time, but WAY WORSE! – you see a bad ass, long haired, thin gal wearing high heals and nice clothing then she turns around and it’s a man – lol

Expat Rock Star’s last blog post: First Time in Jakarta.

Anon
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Hi Roosh,

I don’t know if you read the Washington Post, but this letter in today’s opinion section might interest you. It seems like both your dream (red lipstick, “woman”) and nightmare (lawyer, flip flops).

Rebel in the Capital of Black Coats

Sunday, November 30, 2008; Page B08

Every morning, I first check the weather.

Fifty-five today. That’s seven degrees warmer than it was yesterday. Also, thirty degrees colder than it is in Miami. “It’s warm today,” I reason. I press my hands to the window; hmmm, it can’t be that bad.

Only when I hit the Metro, 15 minutes later, is it clear that my Miami upbringing has left me unprepared for winter in Washington. My pink skirt, bare legs and scarf-in-lieu-of-jacket bob conspicuously in a sea of ascetic black coats. Washington’s women don’t wear pink in the winter, it seems.

But why?

Recently, as I traded heels for flip-flops in frigid weather, a fellow Floridian winked at me over her own flops. We Floridians learn to ignore any temperature below 70 degrees. Sixty-five, you say? That means 80 in the sun. Thirty-five? Hey, not that bad if you are thinking in Celsius!
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It’s not that I enjoy being cold. I’m sacrificing my own comfort for the greater good of making a fashion statement. Dress warmly if that’s what floats your boat, but I prefer fashion over function. My question is: Why does everyone in Washington so willingly imprison themselves in black wool as soon as the calendar strikes November? The very same women who once competed for attention with loud quilted purses and critter-stamped pants in summer now trudge along clad in shapeless, colorless outerwear. Toasty, I’m sure, but how boring!

I am new in town, a first-year law student trying to make it big. Washington is fast and progressive, quite different from hot, loud Miami. I love it here. But I cannot understand the utter lack of women. Females abound, but women are few and far between. Where are the role models for a future lawyer in red lipstick?

Perhaps the Mason-Dixon Line is symbolic when it comes to fashion. Would the industrialized North have had a greater adversary if Southerners hadn’t been so busy matching fashion to season? When did creative living and creative dressing become mutually exclusive? Sure, sometimes it still feels like a man’s world. But black isn’t the key to respect. Speak softly, but carry red lipstick. It’s our power tie, ladies.

Women of Washington, we must stick together. If I am the only one conspicuously bright on cold mornings, my plight will be that much more obvious. We must allow our ideas and personalities to shine through — no matter what the season. Sublimating your identity to the point of invisibility accomplishes nothing. Why not break free of the stereotypes? What is the worth of victory if you have sacrificed strut to accomplish it?

I will not contribute to homogeneity. Ladies, when you see one of your own among the black coats, break the mold. No, red lipstick will not automatically bring you respect. But really: What has black wool done for you lately?

— Kathryn Ciano

chic noir
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Hey on the way home can we get a corn muffin from Giant? They’re so delicious

Yes they are.

as
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as
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@7 – I attempted to read your blog (which could use a good editor). After writing some of those posts, I’m surprised to see you suddenly railing against corruption.

@9 – I believe the clinical term is TDS: Tiny Dick Syndrome.

Days of Broken Arrows
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This is the one area in which shorter guys have it over taller guys — very young girls. They’re put off if you look too imposing and prefer cute over handsome.

I think Agnostic writes about this a lot. Or some blogger who regularly posts here and on Roissy.

Joe Knowbetter
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Joe Knowbetter
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Yeah man nothing like getting snubbed from a very young self entitled American piece-of-shit whore. I am surprised she didn’t call the manager to have you arrested or make some kind of scene because this is exactly what chicks like to do. Yes 16 is illegal but still she is old enough for any skank to know the score in the real world. I have read your blogs and need to ask you: are you not tired of putting in sooo much energy just for a whiff of snatch? Jesus dude! I’ve seen too much of this behavior from ameriskanks who are in their twenties and even thirties to even give a shit anymore. I simply refuse to acknowledge them, or even look in their direction. The only place it is proper to approach a chick today is in a brothel, never any place else. Sad but true. I have learned my lesson. Have fun.