Wingman Rules

Wingman rules must not be obvious. I say that because whenever I hang out with a new guy without discussing the rules beforehand a severe “miscommunication” is sure to follow. In case you forgot, here are the rules:

1. The guy who does the approach gets first pick. This should be common sense, but many times I’ve approached a group where my wing made a beeline for the hottest one. I’m not doing the work for you, bro. It shouldn’t have to be said that the guy who put the most upfront investment should also receive the biggest possible reward. If your wing makes the approach, your mindset should be “I’m on standby, ready to help if he needs it.” It would be nice if life was like Swingers, where two guys match up well with two random girls, but the reality is that you’re lucky if just one guy comes out of there with something. That guy should be the one who did the approach.

2. Don’t join the set until invited by the guy who did the approach. Understand that he’s busy building interest and trying to establish conversation. By randomly rolling up and squeezing yourself into the mix, you’ll disrupt his flow. There will be some point in the conversation, usually between the 1-3 minute mark, where he makes a comment about who he’s with. That’s when he glances over and introduces you. Before that, though, your only job is to hold the fort by deflecting potential cockblockers.

In some cases your friend will isolate the target on his own after the girlfriend moves off to the side. Your instinct will be to move on the girlfriend since she’s free, but are you sure you won’t fuck it up? Your boy is already isolated with his girl, so if you spit bad game the girlfriend may cockblock out of disgust with you. I’d play it conservative and let your boy get something strong going before you even start thinking of what you’re going to get out it.

3. Don’t upstage your wingman it front of his girl. Don’t talk about your job, don’t crack jokes, don’t interrupt their conversation to say something witty, and definitely don’t touch her—just shut the fuck up and make her think you’re a quiet dude. The most grievous thing you can do is make it harder for your boy when we already know getting laid isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do.

When I’m introduced to my friend’s girl, I’m pleasant but terribly boring because I don’t want her to have any doubt that she already snagged the “cool” friend. Without even saying anything, I hype up my buddy and make it more likely he’ll hook up with her. The only time you should turn on the charm for the girlfriend is if you are already fucking her friend. For example, if you started dating a girl and she brings her girlfriend out, feel free to be your normal self. But in front of your boy’s girl, simply be pleasant and quiet.

It’s rare to see two guy friends who both approach with equal intensity. Usually there’s the bold guy who does all the approaches and then the timid one who secretly hopes to ride off his coattails. Wingman rules are meant to maintain the power structure so the timid friend with weaker game knows his role as the helper. Hopefully he’ll get thrown a bone at some point, but until he grows a set and does some approaches himself, his job is to revel in your game glory and not fuck things up.

Problems usually come up when your wing is an alpha like yourself. Since when has “rules” stopped him? What happens is he doesn’t respect your approaches, and then you don’t respect his, and both of you end the night with no girls. While these rules can be seen as rigid, it ensures the best possible outcome for both of you, especially for the man who’s doing most of the work. Whenever I go out with a new guy I start with “This is how I usually work it at night,” and then go into the rules. No man has been bothered by them, and it almost always guarantees a decent night.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

Related Posts For You

newest oldest most voted
Atlas Al
Guest
Atlas Al
Offline

Sometimes it’s good to role with a “wing wingman”

http://flaggingheadquarters.com/2010/04/18/wing-wingman/

Atlas Al’s last blog post: IN DENIAL, WOMEN LOVE HOOKING UP WITH FOREIGNERS TOO.

Fireworks56
Guest
Fireworks56
Offline

It’s difficult to go out with someone that doesn’t know how to shut up. The worst offenders are guys that do fairly well themselves and think they are the ones that are going to get the goods but fail to understand group dynamics and isolation and working into seduction. Talking without seducing is just going to get everyone sober and tired by the end of the night = no play. There’s very few people willing to be bold and also sacrifice to revel in his wing’s success as well if he opened a good set. A good wing will get your back next time. You would be amazed by the amount of ego issues and jealously that prevails in pickup. The more memorable pickups are when both guys play it cool and go all the way with both of the girls. The high five in the a.m. may be the reason we got into it in the first place. It’s more difficult than one would think – for various factors mentioned above including the hottie may be rolling with a less than desirable.

Mr. T
Guest
Mr. T
Offline

Tough to find a good wingman.

Inevitably, I usually try to find anybody to go out and game with and, like clockwork, the asshole usually passively cockblocks me even if I am doing all the work. I am now going to try it alone.

Rookie mistake, I guess.

The only problem with rolling alone is keeping the energy/intensity up between sets (and also not looking like a loser for being alone).

SN2
Guest
SN2
Offline

When your buddies cockblock you it isn’t a rookie mistake: it’s because your buddies are losers.

That being said, everyone’s buddies are losers.

The G Manifesto
Guest

“The only problem with rolling alone is keeping the energy/intensity up between sets (and also not looking like a loser for being alone).”

Rolling out Dolo is the most effective thing you can do. However, you need to control your surroundings ie know the bartender, waitresses, cocktail girls, bouncers, GM, and owners. Lock the place Down. That way, the whole place is your “wingman” (I have always hated that term. Too gay and too Top Gun). I have written about this countless times.

The “looking like a loser for being alone” thing is all in your head. But if it is in your head, it will then come true. Rolling Dolo isn’t for the weak.

The only thing better than going for Dolo is if you have a running partner and you work the room in tandem with synchronicity (and I don’t mean that album by that English rock band from London, The Police either) like Walt “Clyde” Frazier, and Earl “The Pearl” Monroe.

– MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: The G Manifesto Voting Guide 2010.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous
Offline

I remember some Lance Mason video where he says a wingman should come in after 1 of 2 things happen: the guy who approached looks like he’s won over the group and locked himself in, or it looks like he’s about to get blown out of the set. I guess these rules offer a bit more control to the guy who approaches which is good if he’s a better judge of how the interaction is going. I can see it being a little awkward if you have to verbally or physically call your wing over, though, especially if you’re about to get blown out and need reinforcements. It could make it look like more of a pickup than if your wing “spontaneously” rolls in while you’re having a good time.

Mr. T
Guest
Mr. T
Offline

“It’s rare to see two guy friends who both approach with equal intensity. Usually there’s the bold guy who does all the approaches and then the timid one who secretly hopes to ride off his coattails. Wingman rules are meant to maintain the power structure so the timid friend with weaker game knows his role as the helper. Hopefully he’ll get thrown a bone at some point, but until he grows a set and does some approaches himself, his job is to revel in your game glory and not fuck things up.”

Have you ever tried to alternate who does the approaches and who does the back up?

That way one guy isn’t left with the scraps all night.

Only problem I can think of with this approach is it sets up a competition of sorts, and this can fuck things up if someone gets sore about losing out (and thus cause passive cockblocking).

raliv
Guest
raliv
Offline

“It’s rare to see two guy friends who both approach with equal intensity. Usually there’s the bold guy who does all the approaches and then the timid one who secretly hopes to ride off his coattails.”

I am lucky that my best friend equally approaches with the same tenacity as I do. He is a good looking guy too and has lots of charm which helps. I can make an approach and he has no problem with the other girls and vice versa. We pull our own weight. He is money.

raliv’s last blog post: College Game in Athens.

Gunslingergregi
Guest
Gunslingergregi
Offline

The thing to decide is who grabs the bottom and who grabs the top when you run out of the club with her.

he he he

Johnson
Guest
Johnson
Offline

Advice for youngsters:

Get into the game and master it as early as possible. Make time for it now. Read a bunch of good books, a few videos, this blog (Roosh knows his stuff) and then get out in the field and practice practice practice. Game is 90% practice and 10% theory. Remember that.

Have patience. Success doesn’t come over night. But as long as you keep at it and push yourself, it will come.

Become a man and then stay a man. Always seek out new challenges.

Throw the video games in the trash. Stop watching porn. I mean this. No exceptions. If you want to play, play with women.

Stop using drugs, stop abusing alcohol, stop smoking cigarettes. Quit destructive habits that slow you down or distract you.

Get into serious physical activities. Build your muscles if it helps your confidence. Get rid of that fat, you don’t need it. Eat healthy food.

Do Martial Arts at least for a couple years and with heavy sparring. Heavy sparring, not karate kid ballett.

Learn to dance. Dancing is nonverbal seduction. It’s like sparring between man and woman. Venusian Arts. Practice regularly.

Make the best of yourself. Best looks, grooming, clothes, manners. Find your own unique style. Become an alpha gentleman.

Work your social skills. Become a good talker.

Don’t neglect your careers and studies. One or two hours per day for game is well enough.

No matter how old you are, it is never too late to get in the game. But the earlier you start, the better.

JM
Guest
JM
Offline

When i got into game as a beta/greater beta my main friend I went out with was already rather alpha. a unique alpha in that he rarely, if ever, made approaches (still true 2 years later despite my influence), but was approached almost every night by desirable girls, who he then was able to game very competently. Needless to say, when I started getting good with girls he was pretty weirded out by the shift in power dynamic (us being more or less equals, rather than me being his sidekick), and did not respect these kind of rules at all. I would approach the cutest in the girl in the bar, hook her in, and then my friend would swoop in and upstage me. If the reverse happened and i upstaged him, he’d be visibly peeved just by the fact that i beat him in the competition.

lesson–important to have alpha friends and mentors, but they can make terrible wingmen once you get to their level. the way i’ve handled it is that i’ll just break off from him after a couple of drinks, talk to girls solo, not introduce them to my group until it’s completely in the bag (makeout, number, etc.)

Mike
Guest
Mike
Offline

I’m a dick about this. If you haven’t read the Mystery Method or The Game (or Bang), then you can’t be my wing.

If you can’t be bothered to spend a few hours reading a book, I can’t be bothered to risk having you fuck it up.

Rolling solo is getting harder due to increasing female ego sizes (“Why am I being ignored while my friend talks to this guy?!”), and so a wing man is a huge net positive. A bad wing man (most guys) is worse than going solo.

I also expect a wing man to talk to a hog for at least long enough to give me a shot at the hot friend. I always do the same thing, and will give my wing about 30 minutes to go for a kiss before I stop talking to the hog.

Not many guys are willing to talk to the hog. They don’t have a long-term view of game. With the right wing man, you are always helping each other get laid. Plus, if your friend closes with the hot friend, and there’s a party later, they should be other hot friends at the party.

Most men are bad strategists, and thus won’t spend less than 25% of the night of a bad prospect even though it builds rapport with a wing man, and potentially leads to more sex.

The Rookie
Guest
The Rookie
Offline

i propose a 4th: if a guy sees a girl he likes, but is too pussy to approach, he has NO CLAIM to her

The Rookie’s last blog post: I Tried a Game Meetup Group.

Mr. T
Guest
Mr. T
Offline

“Rolling solo is getting harder due to increasing female ego sizes (“Why am I being ignored while my friend talks to this guy?!”), and so a wing man is a huge net positive.”

Too true. One guy can at most entertain 2-3 girls at a time. More than that, and some of girls will feel “neglected.”

Also, with most girls being addicted to their iphones/blackberrys, they are always connected to friends and are usually out in larger sets nowadays.

Large sets are hard to handle solo since there are too many girls to entertain. A wing becomes almost required in these situations.

Rolling solo seems custom made for day game, though.

Mike
Guest
Mike
Offline

Most of my game is now day game. I won’t compromise by rolling with a whack wing man.

What kind of man moves in after I’ve opened, and tries taking the best goods? Do American men have any decency and shame, or are they no different from the entitled American princesses?

When a man starts a business, he has earned the fruits of his labor. He should get the largest share of the profits. When a man opens a set, he has earned the choicest fruit. To think otherwise is to reveal an entitlement complex equal to that of a woman.

BMoney3000
Guest
BMoney3000
Offline

Don’t forget group game. Going out in a big, fun, (possibly mixed) group and then grabbing hot sluts to join you for some fun works pretty well actually.

Rivelino
Guest
Rivelino
Offline

Nice work, #10 Johnson. Good advice all around. I like this one in particular. I overdid the porn thing for too long.

“Throw the video games in the trash. Stop watching porn. I mean this. No exceptions. If you want to play, play with women.”

Rivelino’s last blog post: The most horrific forms of violence and death.

ericthemighty
Guest
ericthemighty
Offline

big roosh reader, bang reader, the whole deal.. i disagree categorically dude, and i normally don’t

My friend approaches: his pick goes for me.

Dont join until invited: when i open three girls, i expect my wingman to come in and take the pressure off within 2 minutes. why wave him over or go and get him, a wingman isn’t some stranger. he’s gooese. he knows you, you guys have done this before. goose knows when to come in, this rule is a moot point.. if not..

#3 — whatever.. it doesn’t really matter, the approach is made, u got first pick, if you can’t swim with sharks get the fuck out of the water.

ericthemighty
Guest
ericthemighty
Offline

“””Mike
7 hours, 23 minutes ago

I’m a dick about this. If you haven’t read the Mystery Method or The Game (or Bang), then you can’t be my wing.”””””

hahahah.. there’s about 3 billion men, a billion of whom have game you never could dream of and have never even heard of “game”.. more like 2.999 billion with better game by that comment. reading =/= game

Johnson
Guest
Johnson
Offline

@Rivelino
Yeah there is probably nothing more beta and unproductive than wasting your time wanking on games and porn. Now tell a woman:

1. “I like playing Call of Duty and downloading XXX”

or

2. “I hit the gym, take boxing lessons and last month I motorcycled through Canada and did some skydiving and bungee jumping while there.”

SirRichard
Guest
SirRichard
Offline

I have a regular wingman. If neither of us scores, we give each other blowjobs. I’m not proud of it, but it’s better than jerking off to porn.

Rivelino
Guest
Rivelino
Offline

With daygame you don’t need a wing. I am still a daygame and nightgame novice, but that is one definite advantage of daygame.

Rivelino’s last blog post: Some men aren’t deceitful. Some men are dead..

riker
Guest
riker
Offline

lol at 21

gringoed
Guest
gringoed
Offline

Good tips. I’d add that a good wing needs to have a good vibe and energy otherwise he’s bringing you down.

Johnson
Guest
Johnson
Offline

“With daygame you don’t need a wing.”

You don’t need but a good wing can always do tremendous damage, especially in daygame. Perfect for hooking groups of 2 or more girls. Try it!

Johnson
Guest
Johnson
Offline

Here’s a special forces weapon for the global vagabonds:

If you’re in unknown territory daygame wing with a local guy who is outgoing and street smart. In 3rd world places you can even just pay him a few bucks or buy him drinks for the deed.

He’ll hook you up with chicks in no time. And with your help he may get his share of quality pussy as well. Of course, you need to speak his language or he least a little bit of English. Beware of hustlers though. Choose that wing wisely.

Johnson
Guest
Johnson
Offline

Roosh,

Your tweet: “How Psychopaths Choose Their Victims”
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/extreme-fear/201010/how-psychopaths-choose-their-victims
See this:
http://www.examiner.com/law-enforcement-in-national/serial-killers-and-politicians-share-traits
Sound familiar? I mean, you see Capitol Hill every day… lol

Hardcore
Guest
Hardcore
Offline

Lesson learned, amigo. Thanks.

Bronan
Guest
Bronan
Offline

The ideal special ops team consists of the following:

1. The general.

2. A solid, high-energy lieutenant who can work a crowd and keep the cockblocks occupied. You need a trusted right-hand man, preferably with some knowledge of game. Not too alpha or he’ll steal your thunder.

3. A few troopers who aren’t afraid to get wasted and fuck a fatty. Cannon fodder for the greater cause, but they’ll receive a medal of honor for their bravery.

Great dynamic to roll with.

Bronan’s last blog post: My Contribution to the “Best of Craigslist”.

krauserpua
Guest
krauserpua
Offline

Here’s a vid of absolute god-awful wingwork in daygame (the Player is rubbish too, but the Wing is a total tool)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wfd06nOEIh4&feature=related

krauserpua’s last blog post: I bang my first 17 year old Dutch blonde.

Phoenix
Guest
Phoenix
Offline

It’s all about respect. And the ability to throw every negative emotion in the trash can. Jealousy, greed, power-tripping, ego, insecurity and anything else that could cause harm in approaching women.

When you keep optimistic and have a good time, there shouldn’t be too much trouble. But of course it depends on the girl’s side too. So even if you THINK your wingman fucked up, it’s always a greater possibility that the girls fucked up twice-fold due to their lousy attitudes.

trackback

[…] – “The United States of Broken Women“, “Wingman Rules“, “Get Ready to Learn About […]

trackback

[…] […]