Worst Email I’ve Ever Received

Previously: Best Email I’ve Ever Received.

I’ve been hanging out at Lucky Bar on Thursdays lately because of their budget $2 mixed drink happy hour. I thought it would be a good place to invite this girl who initially emailed me to say she thought my blog was funny. She didn’t show up, but a few days after she sent me this email..

hey new friend. so i just moved and have been sans internet for the past week and it looks like i missed out on a super sweet happy hour special, and an opportunity for you to make a sorry attempt at getting into my pants. well if you and your posse are down for a do-over, i’ll see if i can make room for you this thursday.

I know she is just trying to be funny, but how can any self-respecting alpha reply to this email? Any type of reply would be admitting that yes, I indeed would have tried to make a sorry attempt to get into her pants. But that may not have been the case. A week before I got this email…

were you at lucky bar tonight….? I thought i saw a greasy haired fellow who looked like you.

She was just trying to be funny too, but that kind of makes me wonder how this type of “game” gets out there. It would me like writing, “Hey I saw your fine slutty ass last night at the bar but didn’t get a chance to get up on that booty heh.”

I’m not saying these two girls want to bang me, but what good does this type of tone accomplish? Am I laughing?

(I am definitely not smiling or laughing.)

Now here are emails from two different girls in Brazil that made me smile.

hahahahahaha.i loved the video!!!! i can see how busy you are! hehe

and..

Here the summer is over… which doesn’t mean absolutely nothing!! It’s still sunny and hot 🙂 Tomorrow I’ll have an açai for you, ok?

Come on, it’s not that hard.

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Anon
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She sounds like the typical bitch who’s ugly on the inside and hates sex and men.

Since raping them is illegal, the best way to get back at those types would be to fuck hot chicks and rub it in their faces.

DF
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DF
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It seems she attempted to co-opt elements of male game but its clear what the results are. FAIL.

I’ve never met a genuinely funny girl in my life and this girl thinks she’s pretty funny. FAIL.

These messages are clear examples of why many American women will never poses a status above that of a pump and dump to a high value man. You don’t need me to further extol the virtues of foreign women.

Rajia
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Wait, what is so great about the Brazilian emails? The emails from the American girls were crappy…but seriously? The Brazilian emails sound like they were written by junior high students. Is that really what men like? Crimony. Thank god I’m out of the dating scene, and busy having frequent sex with my NON AMERICAN man.

T.
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A lot of American chicks confuse emasculation with flirting.

T.’s last blog post: This has nothing to do with anything….

virgle Kent
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Roosh,

You obviously don’t get it do you? DC women think they are HIL.AR.IOUS since I basically stopped drinking I found out how unfunny most DC chicks are when they try to be funny. You just have to roll your eyes and say, “oh that’s funny”, in the lowest tone possible and not even smile… they’ll get the hint

Wrote a whole post about it

http://vksempireofdirt.com/?p=746

this might show up three times

Ava V
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Hopefully they’ll take tips from these brazilian girls.

Ava V’s last blog post: College Review: Sketchiest Moment.

steve
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steve
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Lucky Bar sucks.

If you are in DC, the only Game in town is the Diplomat and Ambassador Daughters or Rich Girls from other cities that are there for a few years before splitting. Or Rich girls that Grew Up in G-town or other spots in NW before splitting. In a pinch, the hottest G-town med student or an Au-Pair in Summer will do the trick.

None of the above are found at Lucky Bar. Get some cash together and stop wasting your time.

Anyone who says “super sweet happy hour special” is low budget and out.

And if those Brazilian girl emails made you smile, you need to re-think your entire scene. And Life. They weren’t that great.

Get it together.

OG Sally
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OG Sally
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You should send those to http://www.worstemailever.com/

agnostic
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The Brazilian emails sound like they were written by junior high students.

Girl-hater. Peppy, care-free, and flirty will always win over drained, neurotic, and ball-busting.

agnostic’s last blog post: Facebook game.

TSM
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Exactly, the Brazilian emails are great, because they’re unpretentious and direct in their demonstration of affection. Guys don’t want to have mental pissing contests with girls.

Reminds me of a time recently, where I met a girl at a party, and had to go to the bathroom. I got her number before she left, and then had a sucky night afterwards. Didn’t think much of the number close, until she sent me the next day a facebook friend request with a message saying she thought I’m very handsome and enjoyed talking to me. She went from a non-entity to a major crush in my book (it helps to be extremely cute in your facebook pics, she was also incredibly feminine and sweet).

“It seems she attempted to co-opt elements of male game but its clear what the results are. FAIL.”
Word.

Generate
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Generate
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No girl is funny. I’ve noticed that when girls try to joke or diss, they end up being the only one’s laughing….

AS
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I’m surprised that nobody even mentioned the “I’ll see if I can make room for you in my schedule” line. What BS – she is not the one whose time is so precious that she gets to decide whether she has time for a guy or not. Someone gave her too much attention or something.

JR
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I’m really surprised at the number of guys who think that no girl is funny. I think you’ve been hanging around the wrong girls.

Granted, there are alot of them out there that can’t pull off the kind of humour that many guys come by so easily. ALOT. But it’s too bad that you’ve never met a girl that was the exception to this rule. When you do, you’ll see – it’s magic.

By the way – don’t take this as a defense of the first or second emails. I agree with most of the comments already posted. They’re just so typical of what some girls think works. For those of us who know better, it’s kinda painful.

roissy
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i’ll see if i can make room for you this thursday.

to me, this is the most annoying and irritating part of her email. this is lifted straight from PUA email game. i’ll see if i can make room for you? who is she, the fuckin special liaison to the president? even if she’s trying to make a joke here, it falls flat. She’s obviously been burned in the past and is looking for any angle to get an edge in the dating market.

ladies, listen up: the shit that works on you DOESN’T WORK ON US. stop trying to learn male game and stick to being cute and feminine, like the brazilian girls in the other two emails.

roissy’s last blog post: Ugly Outside = Ugly Inside.

Plag
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Girl-hater. Peppy, care-free, and flirty will always win over drained, neurotic, and ball-busting.

“Girl hater”? Come on. Those first two emails are infuriating, sure, but you’re a moron if you think the ones from the Brazilian girls weren’t idiotic. (Though the language barrier may have played a part.) Perhaps — and I know this is crazy — there’s a middle ground between fun yet stupid and smart(er) yet irritating.

steve
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steve
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I like emails or texts from girls with things like: “my sister and I are doing coke and want to double team you”

I got that once. Swear.

GJ
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GJ
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Wait, Roissy, women and men are wired differently and biologically conditioned to respond differently in dating/copulating scenarios? But what about all of that feminist drivel, I mean, wisdom, that says women should behave just like men? Have women been duped by their own kind into creating a self perpetuating cycle of artificial “rules” that inspires me into pumping and dumping? Say it ain’t so!

Joe T.
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14 roissy – PREACH!

Joe T.’s last blog post: Delta-NWA Merger: This Time It?s Personal.

Cynically Yours
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Why so annoyed, everybody? Sure, it’s pretty inept, but it’s also just a bit of banter, more or less “plz chase me”.

lacochran
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lacochran
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If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t answer that kind of e-mail. I also might consider changing my banner–the hair does look a little greasy. Just sayin…

Probably just the angle…

lacochran’s last blog post: Irritants.

todd hackett
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todd hackett
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at least she said “fellow”

todd hackett
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todd hackett
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oh… and the Mermaid would NEVER write anything like that.

The Dude
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The Dude
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Many girls mistakenly believe they are funny/cute by “ballbusting”. It’s irritating, not funny, and totally unattractive.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Well when my wife got an operation and i wasn’t getting any I went online and had some fun. The funny thing is it works. I had like 12 numbers in 2 days and really found out that very few woman have something to offer when you ask them what they have to offer you but it does set them back. Just tell them they are your woman today and 99 percent of the time they agree. Shit was too crazy. Even told them I was looking for a second wife and no problem. Posted pics of me with sucker bites which was pointed out by them lol Glad I still have my good woman around smile

Anonymous
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If a guy or a girl has been single for a while and not currently going to school, you know there’s something wrong with that person.

Yes this applies to PUAs as well.

Rajia
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Rajia
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I’m not a girl hater. My favorite people are female. But why does being sweet and feminine have to equal being as dumb as a doorknob? What age group are the people on this site anyway? Do you really think it is impossible to meet a woman (not a GIRL) who is sweet, feminine, plus smart and witty? Maybe if y’all stopped picking up girls in crappy bars and clubs you’d see a whole world of people who don’t fit into any of your preconceived notions. Or maybe if you didn’t wait until you were 30-35 years old to decide your balls had seen enough random vaginas, the good ones wouldn’t be taken already.

agnostic
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Hey girl-haters — what are these Brazilian cuties supposed to say to demonstrate their high IQs? Discourse on the Platonic origins of Kant’s mid-life aesthetic conversion? Talk about the mathematical model of something they just invented?

Get real, ladies. Being a smartass doesn’t make you smart. I’ve known plenty of smart, accomplished girls from countries where females are more girly. It has nothing to do with smart vs. dumb.

And even if they weren’t smart — who cares? If I want to discuss something intellectual, I’ll correspond with a professor, not chat up some chick I’m trying to bang. Why can’t the average woman understand the concept of division of labor?

agnostic’s last blog post: Facebook game.

Rajia
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I see you’re having difficulty distinguishing between “smart” and “annoyingly boring and professor-like”. Personally, I find smiley faces and sentences without capital letters obnoxious in email. To me, that screams “little girl with a myspace account” who probably has several self-photos of herself at various angles. Annoying. Though I suppose if your whole goal in life is to bang as many women as possible, then you’re right, whether or not they can form complete sentences is totally irrelevant.

roissy
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“whore, slut, dumb”. the words women use against other women. rajia’s attempt to shame men for dating and banging pretty girls who don’t meet her exacting standards for female IQ and witty banter is more proof that there is no sisterhood. women compete with other women, and tearing down the prettier, girlier competition is part of the game.

roissy’s last blog post: Gay Boyfriend.

agnostic
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Lack of smilies and capitalization don’t have anything to do with smarts — that’s why you don’t find them on the SAT or GRE.

Just admit it: you are angry that these girls are peppy (smilies) and don’t give a shit about silly conventions (capitalization). Your jealousy has everything to do with their personality and demeanor, zero with their intelligence.

agnostic’s last blog post: Facebook game.

Anonymous
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I am not competing with anyone! I don’t even associate with people in these so-called circles. I’m quite happy being a good girlfriend that takes care of her guy, providing plenty of hot sex, and not having to worry about the dating scene. You want to screw dumb girls, smart girls, whores, virgins, I don’t particularly care. I just think it’s amusing to see what guys are truly interested in. And it makes me glad to be in a long-term relationship with someone who has no problem with my not acting like a 7-year old.

craig of travelvice.com
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No worries Roosh, I get hate mail and comments all the time (though the above is hardly that). Just a sign of widespread readership.

Yesterday’s was “One of the most racist and elitist blogs I have ever read. You should be ashamed of yourself.” and a long one the day before ended with “YOU SHOULD GO TO THE DEVIL” — I love the non-English speaker remarks of hate… the translations always crack me up.

Cheaper than a movie & almost as entertaining.

craig of travelvice.com’s last blog post: Infant Sunglasses.

Anonymous
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you do seem greasy so maybe she’s on to something

Roxanne
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I disagree with Rajia…If I were trying to court a guy, or just make friends with someone male or female, why would I want to come off as condescending or judgmental? How exactly should I expect to come off as fun or endearing when acting as such? Smart ass remarks are best saved for when you’ve already gotten to know someone so they can truly tell the difference between when you’re just kidding or when you’re just being an ass. I apply that standard to both genders. I am so glad I haven’t had to be in the dating realm for a little over 11 yrs now – been with a fantastic guy since I was 20. It sounds like its hard out there these days sad

David
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Original poster…Come on, get your head out your ass.
These girls are telling you if you play the game right your in, you play it wrong your out.

Not answering because your to proud is OUT.

So how do we handle this kind of message ?.

Let’s take the first one, if you want to get in there that is, you have to answer these messages if you do want to get in there, forget this Alpha male bullshit.

So we answer with something like this.

Ha Ha, I appreciate your sense of humour, your a genius and caught me out, I was waiting behind the door for you coming in to give you a surprise, and it turns out you were just leading me a merry dance…Boo hoo.
Hey al get you for that someday you little genius you…..LOL.

Hey hope you had a great night….Take care.

And the second message.

I didn’t even notice you were there, where were you hiding ? hey what do you mean greasy hair ? that wasn’t me, that was my patient, I’m his psychiatrist, just taking him out to try and get him a girlfriend, so I would have introduced him to you if you had only let me know you were around…LOL.

There are hundreds of ways to answer, I just made them up in ten seconds flat.

If any of those two are really interested in you they will get back to you ASAP, of course if your not interested in any of them………..then you just don’t answer.

You see, your demonstrating to them that you couldn’t care less, and are not offended and can have a laugh, because the game is two way, you play the game and they play the game, do it right and have patience.

If your going to be offended because the girl is not going to be taken for a mug then the laugh is on you my friend.

I hope you take my post from one guy to another and in the spirit it was intended.

Cheers…

Ty
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Ty
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Roosh, you’re just an insecure faggot man, man up, play with the girl, chill the fuck out, be up to the challenge, enjoy it. Alpha male my balls, you’re just a fucking crying faggot.