Your Internet Friends Can’t Duplicate Real-Life Human Connection

Most of the knowledge you have is due to the internet. Public education in the West has failed to give you a proper understanding of the world or skills that would be useful for navigating through life, forcing you to educate yourself at your own pace and on your own terms. Through that, you have created bonds with other men in ad-hoc communities online. While the knowledge you have will be forever useful to you, the communities that sprout from these knowledge centers pale in comparison to real communities of the past. We can instantly access the minds of men through the internet, but we’re losing the ability to connect with them in person.

I came to understand how pervasive the internet is in my life when I imagined it going offline. What would happen if there were no more web pages, social networking, connected smartphones, or video-on-demand? Back to the “stone age” of programmed television and paper books. Perhaps more severe is that I’d lose touch with nearly every man I know. Outside of a couple dozen men whose phone numbers I have, my social world would collapse, and it would only be replaced by men who live in my city. No more trading advice, knowledge, and tips with men halfway around the world on a daily basis.

If the internet went offline, which thought leader would I follow to make me feel like I’m gaining critical value? How would I participate in online activism and meme wars with fellow e-warriors? How would I bathe in the glory of liberal tears with my online friends after angering feminists with a viral article? Where would I share a crazy piece of news with hundreds of men who share a similar belief system as I do? An audience of potentially tens of thousands would be reduced to three or four in my town, and it’s this realization that tells me it’s not friendships I’m developing online as much as the gratification that I’m a somebody who is making a difference, when really I’m just a communications node, a replaceable unit in a messenger chain.

I have used an app called Periscope, which allows me to broadcast live video from my smartphone. The biggest broadcast I’ve done had over 1,000 simultaneous viewers. Here’s what a room of 1,000 people look like.

During that broadcast, I was in my room, alone, talking at an screen to a faceless mass of people who I couldn’t see or touch. There was no genuine human connection, and if I wanted it at that moment, I would have found it easier to knock on my neighbor’s door, a man who I’ve seen but never properly met. If there was an external camera in the room filming me without sound, it would reveal a strange man talking to himself in front of a rectangle of plastic and glass.

Return Of Kings regularly gets 1 million unique visitors a month, a number that is greater than than the population of several dozen countries, but I don’t know exactly who those people are, and if you told me there was a mistake in the statistics, and that the site actually receives 1 billion unique visitors a month, I can’t fathom what difference that would make besides more advertising revenue.

No matter how many followers you have, how far your meme spreads, how many upvotes your comment gets, or how many pats on the back you get from the internet mob, you will remain deeply unsatisfied that these huge numbers—this powerful influence—is not human connection but merely a simulation of connection. Ultimately, you’re interacting with pixels and avatars, mere representations of real community, but never real itself. I’ll give you a million followers tomorrow, and within one month you will feel as disconnected as ever, because your true need is not a simulation of community but real community. A group of real friends in your town, who care about your safety and interests as deeply as you care about theirs, is worth more than millions of simulated friends, fans, or admirers on the internet.

Maintaining real communities and friends in person is hard. You can’t just “log off” when you want. You can’t shitpost or troll without repercussions. You have to sacrifice and accommodate to their needs. You have to be respectful to their feelings and particular insecurities, because you’d expect the same from them. One genuine friendship is harder to maintain than satisfying one thousand followers online where expectations and standards are lower, and where little is asked of you but to provide entertainment and sporadic insight.

The internet has given us much, but also made us reluctant to put in the work for real-life connections and to adapt to another person’s flaws and weaknesses, but we must try. As a man who has amassed thousands of internet followers, it’s the face-to-face interactions with those followers I love the most, because it transcends from the simulated to the real. Without them, I’m afraid I’d slowly lose my humanity in an online sea of a billions avatars that are human-like, but still far from it.

Read Next: City Life Is A Simulation

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Cynic In Chief
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You need both Roosh. Our ROK group has monthly face-to-face meetings, but day-to-day conversations over the group text. One should augment the other. In your escape from the US, along with your healthy dose of paranoia induced by the meetup outrage, you have left most of the men you knew behind. If you are going to stay overseas, you MUST build a network of honourable and trustworthy men where you are. You can leverage your Internet friendships to build that web of friendship, but the Internet cannot replace it.

DerWeltenbummler!
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DerWeltenbummler!
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I agree.

It is essential to have the support of some loyal male friends where you live! The banter, camaraderie and fun you can have with good male friends is priceless!

The older I get the harder it becomes to form close friendships with other men, though! Which is why I value my friendships with my childhood friends so much. I always enjoy meeting up with them when I return back home…

disqus_2015ScorpioWater
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disqus_2015ScorpioWater
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If you live in the US, social media is probably key to meeting people and making friends. Look at sites like Yelp and compare the activity in America to Europe, a world of difference. And Europeans who use Facebook and other social media usually do not have excessive numbers of “Friends”. Going outside and speaking with locals is a great way to meet new people. I got far more pussy meeting women in person than going online.
And most of the younger physically desirable American women are under 30, tend to be social justice warrior types, so you need to become a cuck to be in good terms with them.
Look at the girl from Get Out, she went to Yale, typical SJW garbage. If I had daughter that went to Yale, I would expect her to be working in a nice corporate job or do something else rather than be involved in some stupid anti white movie. A friend of mine saw it and said it was one of the most racist films he ever saw in his life. They made it seem as if every white person was out to get the black guy.

Cecil J
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Cecil J
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How did the US under 30 crowd become SJWs? What was it about their education, media indoctrination from movies, etc that caused this?

disqus_2015ScorpioWater
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disqus_2015ScorpioWater
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Mix of all the above. Most young Americans are into the SJW and alt-left scene. A few might be in the alt-right, but its very few, alt-right is bigger among older whites in America, but not so much among millennials.
Even young conservatives identify with policies that are traditionally liberal such as gay marriage and gender neutral public washrooms.
Despite Trump’s surprise victory, conservatism is not making a comeback as it did in the past, when the older white population is gone, and the Gen X and Millennials take control, you will see the entire society move far left.
The education system and the media play a big role in how the young generation views the world. Once this generation controls America, it will no longer be a world power.

MCGOO
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MCGOO
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Traditionalism is growing and taking root but the withering MSM tries to contain it and spin it. Traditionalism wants nothing to do with MSM or to be showcased in their zoo show. The SJWs look bigger than life thanks to MSM but their numbers are small outside the campuses. Whoring is widespread but still virgins are born every day. Citizens rallying to drain the swamp is just the beginning of a greater sweep ensuing. A coarse brush will be taken to academia, no feelings hurt but you see when you try to turn a leftard academian how they either melt down or turn ballistic and psychotic. They are provocateurs, not educators. Their numbers are few too but they are in positions of influence and there is a growing sentiment to replace them.

disqus_2015ScorpioWater
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disqus_2015ScorpioWater
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Not even close, and it takes decades to turn a society around. It took about 50 years for America to look like it does today. The anti man feminism culture is still strong. Today a man is going to be fucked over in court by his ex wife in a legal system that heavily favors women over men, and its not changing because of Trump.
Remember Trump was divorced twice by two empowered feminist women. His first wife is known as one of the most famous golddiggers of all time, and even made a quote “Don’t get mad, get everything”. That is the typical mindset of most modern women. They have biological needs but still are empowered by a modern system. The vast majority of American women see men as a penis and a wallet.
Also Trump has considered himself to be an Athiest most of his adult life. Only now you see him touting his Christianity, but its complete nonsense. The man is not Reagan. Reagan was also divorced but he moved on to a stable marriage and traditional family life. Trump has two homosexuals surrogates, Peter Thiel and Milo. Milo is a clear lowlife. If you take away Milo’s stances on Muslims, he is pretty much in line with SJWs, and that is part of the reason he was connecting with younger people. That being said he is a deviant. The reason Milo has his views on Muslims is that he comes from the UK, which has a large Muslim population, its not hard to figure out that him being a gay man, he would not mix well with a culture like that of Islam. Other than that he is no conservative.
Trump is now making some ridiculous claim that Obama was spying on him when he was running for President. Trump is President but its becoming more clear he is impotent. I had a lot of reservations about an aging man in the twilight of his years to have the energy and stamina to turn around a nation in decline.
Trump got into the White House because of working class voters who felt they got the short end of the stick since the GFC. He won three rust belt states by very small margins over Hillary. Many of his other supporters were attracted to him because of his stance on immigration, but the real reason he is President is because he addressed economic issues, and Trump is a businessman who studied the field as a young man. So people made a link between him and potential economic prosperity. Many of those voters did not have a favorable view of Trump himself but voted out of a hope that he could do something for blue collar Americans.
People forget that Trump faced off against Hillary Clinton, who is disliked as much as him. If Trump faced off against Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders he would not have won.

SlickyBoy
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SlickyBoy
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I wouldn’t hang my hat on leftists winning more ground than they got in the last election. Just because the left coast is pissed off doesn’t mean the entire country is buying their bullshit – if anything there’s more awakenings happening with each instance of outrage over conspiracy nonsense aimed at Trump. Riots at Berkeley, speakers getting shouted off stage if they don’t comport with SJW demands, etc. is making “educated and open minded” America look pretty unreasonable and delusional right about now.

disqus_2015ScorpioWater
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disqus_2015ScorpioWater
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The leftists on the coasts are idiots, I think Trump’s success hinges on working people, if their lives are not better in 2020, Trump is out.
Trump walked pass the finish line to the Presidency because he addressed real issues particularly the fact so many Americans have been left out of the so called “Recovery”. Unchecked immigration also gave him a base, but it was his stance on economic issues, law and order, and his criticism of America’s foreign policy that got him the Presidency.
Now he has to deliver some real change, not the kind Obama delivered to people, which was bullshit business as usual. Put America First into reality.

schopenhauer
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schopenhauer
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Reality is, this is shit. Much of “internet education” is trash anyways, as are most contemporary self help books. Plus, on the internet I have only found the worst of society. Schopenhauer in the wisdom of life speaks very highly of what society sees negatively: so called loners. I was shocked to learn that who is seen as “weird” was described by one of the greatest philosophers ever, as something RIGHT, not something wrong. I think if he lived to see how the world is functioning with internet, he would vomit. The internet is 5 per cent useful, all the rest is where the worst of the world is. I have always been a loner. And now more than ever. Not ideal, but as Schopenhauer wrote very persuasively, by far the lesser of two evils.

Edward Easterling
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Edward Easterling
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I like your comment. But that 5 percent that’s useful is worth searching for, is it not!

schopenhauer
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schopenhauer
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Yes. I refer more to the “social” part of internet…..forums, facebook, and all the various idiots and attention seekers on youtube. This sort of crap. But youtube itself for me has represented that 5 per cent. A very selective viewer can find some real gold there.

Edward Easterling
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Edward Easterling
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True that! It does take some digging, however. But there is gold there to be found.

James
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James
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If you think about, hasn’t the proportion of reliable and useful information always been low? The word of mouth system used by cave men had it’s own problems, did it not? So, my theory is, if we want a higher level of useful and accurate information, we can only get it at the price of also having an increase in the amount of worthless bullshit we have to sift through in order to get it. If we want to find more needles, we have no choice but to search through larger hay stacks.

Edward Easterling
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Edward Easterling
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Yes. Did thru tons of dirt for an ounce of gold.

Bofa Neezduts
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Bofa Neezduts
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True but, at least you have the freedom to deem Internet education trash. You pay a lot to be fed “trash” education from (((College))).

UU News Crew
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UU News Crew
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You are wise Roosh and continue to be so. Since 2014 you’ve taken me from a 3 lay count beta to a 31 lay count young man. Your content is less gamey then when I started but I am immenently involved with your growth trajectory and sage advice. Thank you.

pabo
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pabo
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“Public education in the West has failed to give you a proper understanding of the world or skills that would be useful for navigating through life,”

Actually, that is the very purpose of government schools…

Schopenhauer
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Schopenhauer
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the part I refer to about being a loner and about solitude, is found in Schopenhauer’s masterful “Counsels and Maxims”, in chapter 3, “Our relation to others”. As Seneca also wrote, the one wrong thing to do is to go where everybody else is going and doing what everybody else is doing.

Edward Easterling
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Edward Easterling
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“Public education in the West has failed to give you a proper understanding of the world or skills that would be useful for navigating through life,”

You’re telling me! I’m using YouTube videos and various websites and blogs to learn about business. And I am past 50.

And the point you make about internet friends not being like face-to-face friends is spot on. To be effective, I must have rapport with people in-person.

But the internet is valuable in that even an old dog like me can teach young bitches new tricks! And I can learn new skills myself.

Thanks for this article Roosh.

autistic shitposter
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autistic shitposter
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Maintaining real communities and friends in person is hard. (…) You can’t shitpost or troll without
repercussions.</blockquote

What do you mean you can't?! I do it IRL all the time!

Rmax GenActive Pua Mgtow
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The internet is a poor mans version of a billionaires life, instead of sex slaves you have porn, instead of millions of slaves & flying monkeys you have software & macros to do your bidding …

The problem with real life, is the massive spy & surveillance state, you have no idea who you’re talking to

Then theres the pitchfork & lynch mobs, half the shit I say online is enough to cause most ppl to loose their shit … I swear if it wasnt for the net, i’d be lynch mob meat

While there are signs of intelligent life, most ppl in real life are brain dead drones & zombies, cant wait for a decent ai with an extensive vocabulary …

Real life is over rated, everything takes forever & the graphics suck, unless you’re into post modern concrete dumps & repeating grassy knowles …

MCGOO
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MCGOO
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The ‘webz’ have affected all facets of life, not to mention friendships as Roosh points out. Before smartphones and tinder, you approached women directly, in the park, the pool, the beach . .

http://media.silive.com/advance/photo/2012/07/11347103-standard.jpg

No smartphones, just direct face to face interaction and you knew what you were getting. Now with smartphones, acquaintenceships can develop and you never know what you’re getting yourself into until the last munite.
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Why would you stick your dick in something not worthy of LTR? You wouldn’t talk and chat at length with a hooker but why all the chit chat with some imagined image of a woman before you’ve met her? Internet chat doesn’t count as ‘meeting’ someone until you’ve met face to face.

AND SHOPPING. The ‘webz’ have forever changed shopping. It used to be that hot gals would hang out at the giant malls walking around for miles looking sexy and then buying only one thing maybe. The exercise was tops before smartphones. Proper stretching and exercising at a good clip daily kept women looking mighty youthful. Now it’s cubicles and sloth. Oh the old malls. I’m talking 1990s and previous.

http://phototour.minneapolis.mn.us/pics/7586.jpg

(vintage 1980s mall chicks – and the BIG HAIR!)
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M9kaYm7CP6Q/VJCREkLlT6I/AAAAAAAAAFM/1q_xnsJrdIM/s1600/005.jpg

http://slightlywarped.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/1903290843-884761bfc6fb3d3f8f02ba391cbf7bf8.jpg

Now with smartphones and universal web access, people opt to order online and America’s malls are dying, literally.
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Today with the web it’s . . drumroll . . AMAZON HOME DELIVERY!!

http://blondegirlhomebuyers.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/selling-with-tenants.jpg
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Girls aren’t getting out as much, more fodder and fiasco to feed the industries that forcibly pillage blood money from men to shower women to death with sedentary consumerist gluttony. If all the homebound web addicted female slobs could only find the bottle of spray tan and makeup in all their piles of shit, they could get out and strut and get some of their tone and smv back before the rats eat them in their sleep. So hit the sidewalk ladies. A good 5-10 mile morning walk while skipping does the trick. Then it’s dancing lessons, WITH THE VACUUM CLEANER.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_26yvOW5x3Hw/SrkNhipMpwI/AAAAAAAACeA/BHXvgPMNACc/s800/vacuum-2.jpg

Yeah! Cut that carpet baby.

disqus_2015ScorpioWater
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disqus_2015ScorpioWater
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Mostly in America, in Europe people still approach face to face. And nothing replaces face to face interaction. Facebook and Tinder profiles hide a lot about the person you will meet. You have no idea if the person you met is a psycho or has some other serious issue.

AB Machine
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AB Machine
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“Adapting to other’s flaws and weaknesses.” Can you please offer advice for this in an article or video?

SlickyBoy
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SlickyBoy
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“Most of the knowledge you have is due to the internet.” No. Not all of us are digital natives. Some of us are old enough to remember such antiquities like public libraries, card catalogs, having to “write to this address” for more information, etc. And back then, the news media at least had the pretense of objectivity – now they don’t even bother pretending how leftist they are.

TSK
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TSK
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If you have a friend and that person is willing to go out of arms length to help you then that is rare friend to have.

You can have over 1000 friends listed on your facebook or have 1 million follower but if your car suddenly stopped in the middle of some random highway at 1 AM night, then can you confidently say that you know someone who will drive you at that time to pick you up and help you out with your car in need?

If you are going through hard times and became broke, will that friend simply ditch you?

Bill
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Bill
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This article has provoked a thought for me, and it is this: simulated relationships are likely antagonistic to real relationships, because simulated relationship allow and encourage the development of nuanced characteristics in the individual that can then only really be satisfied in the simulated world. Your forums, both of which I take great enjoyment from, are somewhat an example of this. Men on here are, generally speaking, conservative and intelligent, and so I find a lot of interesting discussion, and my political ideas form in ways that at least consider ideas that I probably wouldn’t have allowed to surface to my conscious mind ten years ago. So now, when I go to a bar, and let’s say we start talking politics, or issues around women, it is going to be more difficult for me to find common ground with common dudes that generally consume CNN. Throw in the fact that many of them might have also developed more nuanced political ideas that are in distinctly different directions, say he reads alternet (yuk) or there is some women whose mind has been warped by Jezebel, and you will find this phenomenon compounded exponentially. And this doesn’t just pertain to politics, but all possible personal interests, sports, the arts, music, etc. The most obvious and earliest example of this in phenomenon in play I suppose was internet pornography. The constant access to an ever expanding nuanced simulation of sex eventually led many men to become disinterested or unable to perform the actual real sex act, as it seemed rather dull.

OceanSon
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OceanSon
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It was ever thus…but augmenting/complimenting that natural realm with a abstract medium such as a global online forum can sometimes serve well to enhance our real-world relationships and understanding (where the “outwardly social” is muted as we becomes more “inwardly cerebral”).

CandidoCandide
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CandidoCandide
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Ignoring this problem has costed me dearly

J1234
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J1234
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My friends that I went to school now have families, careers and the rest. Therefore, I don’t have much time to talk with them. So basically now all the people are talk with are SJW types, as most people in my area are firmly indoctrinated into that cult. I have now realised I have nothing in common with them at all. Our conversations usually revolve around, “hi, yes, I’m good and you, what do you want, anything else, okay, thanks, bye” and that’s it. This website and others is therapeutic to me as I get to read stuff that is more closer to my line of thought. But you are absolutely right, I miss the crew I use to mix with, the internet is does not compare with real life interactions with like minded people. Although your blog Roosh helps keep me sane.

Brianmark
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Brianmark
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Unfortunately, my relatives have become SJWs too. It’s horrible the bullshit they believe. They think I’m a dinosaur.

J1234
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J1234
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in my experience, best way to fight sjw cancer is to ignore it. fuck em and their stupid ideology

Brianmark
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Brianmark
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This is one of the most important ideas that you have presented. I agree with you 110%. I’d take 1 real person over 1000 online followers any day. I want real connections with real people, that I can do things with. My life will only improve when I have a real life with real people. Instead of staying at home online, I force myself to go out an interact with people, where some of my “friends” never get out, but just stay online. I’d take one smart friend over 1000 followers. I want people I can learn from, grow with, and do things with. I do not need likes. Facebook is a tremendous waste of time. I have “friends” on there, that I have not seen in over a decade. We have nothing in common except we went to high school together. The internet including smartphones is the number one thing that has killed normal relationships between men and women. Women are happy attention whoring online and don’t need men. So men get out and meet other men and do things together. Get off your damn computers!