You’re Not Fooling Me

Hello, young Ukrainian girl. I saw you from across the street and then timed my trajectory and gait to intersect with you somewhere in front of this kiosk. I have much experience with such casual run-ins, so you probably didn’t notice what I was doing, though rest assured I nearly cracked opened a physics textbook to get such collisions down perfectly.

From a far distance, with the sun in my face, you looked quite pretty, but now that we are talking only three feet apart, I’ve noticed some troublesome flaws.

Your eyebrows are overly groomed. They are thin with hairs so short that I can see the skin behind them. You have also sculpted an arch that makes you seem in a state of sudden surprise.

Your eyelashes are fake. They look like thin fish netting that has been dipped in cheap acrylic paint. The attachment goes beyond your eyelids, making me wonder if you want everyone to know that they are not of human origin.

You have so much makeup on that I imagine it would be dangerous for you to give a hearty laugh. Like fissures that appear on the ground after a large earthquake, I can see breaks around your mouth when you gave a slight smile to my joke about needing to find a supermarket as big as a soccer field. If I put a plaster cast on your face, I doubt it would feel different compared to what you have on right now.

You lipstick is bright red, yet your teeth are discolored and crooked. I can’t complain much since my teeth aren’t perfect either, but the contrast of blood red and tea brown is jarring. It’s best not to force attention to one of your weaknesses.

Your nails are fake. I can tell since the nail surface rises far above the level of your cuticle. Fake nails aren’t so bad, but it sure is awkward when they come off in bed, as if you are coming apart.

Your hair color is not that blonde. I can easily see it in your dark roots. It looks like you haven’t colored in twelve days.

I commend you for taking your appearance seriously. You deserve an award for turning your 5 rating into what many guys with less experience than me would give an 8. I can only imagine how perfect your photos on VK are, especially after asking Ivan your beta orbiter to touch them up a bit with his pirated copy of Photoshop. But you just don’t do it for me, because your aesthetic is fake, with no anchor to truth and reality. You’re a billboard advertising for a product that doesn’t live up to its stated benefits, and I know I will be asking for my money back after my mind sees through your cosmetic mask.

Your false aesthetic should be enough to please some man out there, but not me. I insist on real beauty. Beauty for beauty’s sake. I’ve learned that a girl who is wearing a lot of makeup surely can not be beautiful, because why would she spend hours covering her beauty? Makeup precludes beauty. In sparing amounts it can only compliment it like a snug t-shirt does on the body of an athletic man, yet the t-shirt alone, regardless of what it costs or what design is on it, can not elevate the aesthetic of a frail man.

Consider the grotesqueness if we put a New York skyscraper in the city of Siena:

The beauty of the skyscraper depends on its environment, on what lies beside it. Your fake eyelashes, nails, and eyebrows are like constructing skyscrapers in a pleasant village that is dotted with apple trees and spacious pastures for grazing sheep. Your natural beauty is not New York City, so please don’t take on its artifacts.

I know you don’t care about what I think of you, because next month I’ll see you holding hands with a man who doesn’t mind the special effects that is your appearance, but as a connoisseur of the aesthetic, I seek the real thing. I believe all men should.

Read Next: American Girls vs Ukrainian Girls


  1. Millz May 15, 2013 at 9:34 am

    I love this.. Natural beauty is under appreciated in this society

  2. Rez May 15, 2013 at 9:39 am

    Have you read the book called naked ape? The author explains reasons for makeup in terms of evolutionary biology.

    Eg putting rouge on cheeks to look more youthful and to mimic the flushed cheeks post bang

  3. Tampa May 15, 2013 at 9:39 am

    I’m grabbing drinks with this Urkanian chick tonight. No lie. When i met her she was pretty hot, but i was pretty drunk. I have a feeling that everything you describe is going to be true tonight.

  4. Adrian May 15, 2013 at 9:54 am

    Very good. Very good indeed.

  5. PUCHY May 15, 2013 at 11:43 am

    ROOSH can you visit MUMBAI to throw some light on the misconception that alpha males fail in front of conservative indian girls?

  6. Sam May 15, 2013 at 11:55 am

    I disagree with this article. As if girls needed additional encouragement to put less effort in.

  7. Nomad77 May 15, 2013 at 1:02 pm

    You are now in dangerous territory – my territory 🙂 Be careful, once crossed, it’s hard to go back…

  8. Ace Haley May 15, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    Makeup or no makeup, a lot of these women are nothing to behold even when they’re naked.

    Maybe I’m just weird like that but I’m honestly not impressed with what I’ve seen. Just saying

  9. prepman May 15, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Great take on the whole artificial beauty out of context thing. I guess you could say the same about feminist attitudes as well — a skyscraper in Sienna. Catchy title, eh?

  10. Anonymous May 15, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    who wants indian girls when u can get latin girls

    for the topic if all the miss country miss worlds unverse earth etc. Stopped usin make up n surgey n just judged natural beauty wed be on the right track…we dont hife behind makeup an neither should they
    make up shamin everyone?

  11. Hipstersstink May 15, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    This is probably my biggest complaint with American and Canadian women. In the city I grew up in women were ramping up the fakeness. I used to like it, for I knew no better.

    Then I came to europe and saw thousands of natural-looking women. When I go back to America or Canada I am repulsed by the orange skin, fake nails, hair extensions and fake breasts (the last one can work on the odd occasion, but most of these women are classless). Everything down to the ridiculous jewellery repulsed me.

  12. OlioOx May 15, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    Is there a mismatch between your aspirations and your horizons?

  13. AP May 15, 2013 at 4:26 pm

    She was a man, baby. A man!

  14. ladykillah May 15, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    this is an indirect to Irina and Dasha… hahah

  15. Anonymous May 15, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    get yer tits oot…….. BITCH

  16. YDK May 15, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    Hey Roosh,

    Here in the UK we have a newspaper called ‘The Guardian’. It’s one of the worst newspapers in the world, written by feminist leftoids for feminist leftoids and they really have it in for men. Some of the articles are shocking.

    This one concludes that “The culture of masculinity can be, and should be, addressed as a policy issue.”

    It’s sad what our culture is coming to.

  17. Days of Broken Arrows May 16, 2013 at 2:38 am

    I kept thinking “Well, that can be corrected” until I got to the bit about the teeth. Gross. People need to brush. Or stop smoking. Or whatever, but I’m really grossed-out by graying teeth on a twentysomething woman.

  18. Christian McQueen May 16, 2013 at 6:04 am

    Makeup should enhance beauty. When a girl steps out of the shower that’s when you can see what she really looks like. If she looks good soaking wet, with no makeup, then she’s probably naturally attractive.

    Interestingly enough, American women are loving the fake ‘fixtures’ that are becoming the norm: plastic surgery, fake nails, eyelashes and my fkn pet peeve: Hair extensions.

    It’s hysterical when you’re pounding a young slut from behind, while pulling her hair and the extensions pull out, leaving your little slut looking like a rabid mouse who just got electrocuted.

    I’ll take natural anyday.

  19. Mebus May 16, 2013 at 6:41 am

    If it isn’t the massive amounts of makeup Western females use that repulse me, it’s the abundance of horrid tattoos (from ex-boyfriends’ names to the entire ensembles of seemingly random Chinese characters), chain smoking (I’ve even noticed more and more young females smoking sigars), heavy pot smoking, fake tits, not seldomly with a grand canyon-type depression in between, hair extensions, or the just plain awful masculine haircuts.

    But you know what disgusts me the most? The fact they still manage to get showered with attention from many, many guys.

  20. Joe Dick May 16, 2013 at 8:03 am

    A lot of women look grotesque and stupid with all their makeup shit on. They are so insecure that they hide behind all that weird shit. Ah ah, they are quite funny. What about the ones where their body colour is tanner than the colour on their face? WTF ? They put some white shit on that make them look truly weird, kind of horror movie thing.

    It makes me want to say ‘what the fuck happened to your face? Was it the cum?’

  21. Joe Dick May 16, 2013 at 8:07 am

    and does anybody notices what Roosh does? He looks for flaws in women. That’s how it’s done, so next time you think ‘wow she’s hot’ or ‘wow what a woman!’ ,switch this shit off and look harder.

    There’s ALWAYS flaws about ANY woman.

  22. Dr. M May 16, 2013 at 8:15 am

    Consider the GROTESQUENESS if we put a New York skyscraper in the city of Siena…..ahahaha…marvelous!

  23. Otto Au May 16, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    What the fuck, get over the fakeness, get her into the cot, bang her brains out and move on!

  24. Anonymous May 16, 2013 at 7:45 pm

    “Looks like feminism succeeded in destroying marriage. Now men refuse to get married.
    I hope all of you ladies have fun growing old alone with your ten cats.”

    I rather feminism/shariah law than real war.

  25. Joe Blow May 17, 2013 at 4:52 am

    ” I can only imagine how perfect your photos on VK are, especially after asking Ivan your beta orbiter to touch them up a bit with his pirated copy of Photoshop. ”

    Lol…this is my favorite line…

  26. E May 17, 2013 at 6:28 am

    Roosh, after you break up with a girl and her friends are all in her corner (well she broke up with me and I’m a bit of a mess)

    How do you sleep with her close friends? I know it’s probably not some simple answer since I’m coming from a place of lower value…but help me out here.

  27. Playa May 17, 2013 at 7:41 am

    “asking Ivan your beta orbiter to touch them up a bit with his pirated copy of Photoshop”


  28. Anonymous May 17, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    “I rather feminism/shariah law than real war.”

    If it comes to Shariah Law, i’ll be the first to grab an ar-15 and take out as many muzzies as I can. I figure they breed about 1,000 to 1 to me, so I’ll need to kill at least 1,000 before we’re even.

  29. Anonymous May 17, 2013 at 8:51 pm

    After seeing those pictures of the pornstars without makeup, and those videos of girls who use makeup to cover up cystic acne, I’ve realized that makeup allows one to create an entirely new face. It is a mask. But through practice, a man can discern the ugliness that lies underneath from the subtle clues (small bumps on face, slight discolorations, facial shininess, etc).

  30. anon May 18, 2013 at 10:19 am

    yeah… kick ass…. my main problem since reading your books, is that when i go to approach, i can see so many flaws, i can’t be bothered to initiate…. what for ?

    if i wanted to bang a makeup girl like Roosh’s here… i can do it right away, with no conversation needed, in the local brothel for $100…

    all the chat up and fuss and dancing about, just to get laid… makes this kind of girl less interesting (and more time consuming and expensive) than a quick bang in a whore house…

    (which I don’t want to do either.)

    So all I realized from trying to actively pick up girls, is how uninteresting most of them really are…

    The mystique is gone….

    I’m going to have to hit on them anyway just for practice…. and they’ll probably all get super interested in me, because they’ll sense my lack of interest in them….

    Zen and the art of the bang !…

  31. Lisa November 30, 2013 at 10:04 am

    Roosh is going to find the love of his life one day and my god is that boy going to do a 180. He will have a daughter and worship the very ground she walks on. And his wife will be a remarkable woman. And do you know what? In spite of the moments of total depravity he has experienced or encouraged in others – he deserves that life. Your commitment to something, ANYTHING noble (despite the idiotic advice you dole out) is worthy of finding true happiness. P.s You’re still a knob.