You’re Not Fooling Me

Hello, young Ukrainian girl. I saw you from across the street and then timed my trajectory and gait to intersect with you somewhere in front of this kiosk. I have much experience with such casual run-ins, so you probably didn’t notice what I was doing, though rest assured I nearly cracked opened a physics textbook to get such collisions down perfectly.

From a far distance, with the sun in my face, you looked quite pretty, but now that we are talking only three feet apart, I’ve noticed some troublesome flaws.

Your eyebrows are overly groomed. They are thin with hairs so short that I can see the skin behind them. You have also sculpted an arch that makes you seem in a state of sudden surprise.

Your eyelashes are fake. They look like thin fish netting that has been dipped in cheap acrylic paint. The attachment goes beyond your eyelids, making me wonder if you want everyone to know that they are not of human origin.

You have so much makeup on that I imagine it would be dangerous for you to give a hearty laugh. Like fissures that appear on the ground after a large earthquake, I can see breaks around your mouth when you gave a slight smile to my joke about needing to find a supermarket as big as a soccer field. If I put a plaster cast on your face, I doubt it would feel different compared to what you have on right now.

You lipstick is bright red, yet your teeth are discolored and crooked. I can’t complain much since my teeth aren’t perfect either, but the contrast of blood red and tea brown is jarring. It’s best not to force attention to one of your weaknesses.

Your nails are fake. I can tell since the nail surface rises far above the level of your cuticle. Fake nails aren’t so bad, but it sure is awkward when they come off in bed, as if you are coming apart.

Your hair color is not that blonde. I can easily see it in your dark roots. It looks like you haven’t colored in twelve days.

I commend you for taking your appearance seriously. You deserve an award for turning your 5 rating into what many guys with less experience than me would give an 8. I can only imagine how perfect your photos on VK are, especially after asking Ivan your beta orbiter to touch them up a bit with his pirated copy of Photoshop. But you just don’t do it for me, because your aesthetic is fake, with no anchor to truth and reality. You’re a billboard advertising for a product that doesn’t live up to its stated benefits, and I know I will be asking for my money back after my mind sees through your cosmetic mask.

Your false aesthetic should be enough to please some man out there, but not me. I insist on real beauty. Beauty for beauty’s sake. I’ve learned that a girl who is wearing a lot of makeup surely can not be beautiful, because why would she spend hours covering her beauty? Makeup precludes beauty. In sparing amounts it can only compliment it like a snug t-shirt does on the body of an athletic man, yet the t-shirt alone, regardless of what it costs or what design is on it, can not elevate the aesthetic of a frail man.

Consider the grotesqueness if we put a New York skyscraper in the city of Siena:

The beauty of the skyscraper depends on its environment, on what lies beside it. Your fake eyelashes, nails, and eyebrows are like constructing skyscrapers in a pleasant village that is dotted with apple trees and spacious pastures for grazing sheep. Your natural beauty is not New York City, so please don’t take on its artifacts.

I know you don’t care about what I think of you, because next month I’ll see you holding hands with a man who doesn’t mind the special effects that is your appearance, but as a connoisseur of the aesthetic, I seek the real thing. I believe all men should.

Read Next: American Girls vs Ukrainian Girls

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Millz
Millz
7 years ago

I love this.. Natural beauty is under appreciated in this society

Rez
Rez
7 years ago

Have you read the book called naked ape? The author explains reasons for makeup in terms of evolutionary biology.

Eg putting rouge on cheeks to look more youthful and to mimic the flushed cheeks post bang

Tampa
Tampa
7 years ago

I’m grabbing drinks with this Urkanian chick tonight. No lie. When i met her she was pretty hot, but i was pretty drunk. I have a feeling that everything you describe is going to be true tonight.

Adrian
Adrian
7 years ago

Very good. Very good indeed.

PUCHY
PUCHY
7 years ago

ROOSH can you visit MUMBAI to throw some light on the misconception that alpha males fail in front of conservative indian girls?

Sam
Sam
7 years ago

I disagree with this article. As if girls needed additional encouragement to put less effort in.

Nomad77
Nomad77
7 years ago

You are now in dangerous territory – my territory 🙂 Be careful, once crossed, it’s hard to go back…

OldHornDog
OldHornDog
7 years ago

Guys – check this out:

http://tinyurl.com/fatmodel

What a shame…

Ace Haley
7 years ago

Makeup or no makeup, a lot of these women are nothing to behold even when they’re naked.

Maybe I’m just weird like that but I’m honestly not impressed with what I’ve seen. Just saying

prepman
prepman
7 years ago

Great take on the whole artificial beauty out of context thing. I guess you could say the same about feminist attitudes as well — a skyscraper in Sienna. Catchy title, eh?

Anonymous
Anonymous
7 years ago

@puchy
who wants indian girls when u can get latin girls

for the topic if all the miss country miss worlds unverse earth etc. Stopped usin make up n surgey n just judged natural beauty wed be on the right track…we dont hife behind makeup an neither should they
make up shamin everyone?

Hipstersstink
7 years ago

This is probably my biggest complaint with American and Canadian women. In the city I grew up in women were ramping up the fakeness. I used to like it, for I knew no better.

Then I came to europe and saw thousands of natural-looking women. When I go back to America or Canada I am repulsed by the orange skin, fake nails, hair extensions and fake breasts (the last one can work on the odd occasion, but most of these women are classless). Everything down to the ridiculous jewellery repulsed me.

OlioOx
OlioOx
7 years ago

Is there a mismatch between your aspirations and your horizons?

AP
AP
7 years ago

She was a man, baby. A man!

ladykillah
ladykillah
7 years ago

this is an indirect to Irina and Dasha… hahah

Anonymous
Anonymous
7 years ago

get yer tits oot…….. BITCH

John Rambo
John Rambo
7 years ago

71% of young men in America do not want to get married:
http://www.pewresearch.org/daily-number/young-men-and-women-differ-on-the-importance-of-a-successful-marriage/

Looks like feminism succeeded in destroying marriage. Now men refuse to get married.

I hope all of you ladies have fun growing old alone with your ten cats.

YDK
YDK
7 years ago

Hey Roosh,

Here in the UK we have a newspaper called ‘The Guardian’. It’s one of the worst newspapers in the world, written by feminist leftoids for feminist leftoids and they really have it in for men. Some of the articles are shocking.

This one concludes that “The culture of masculinity can be, and should be, addressed as a policy issue.”

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/nov/25/dangerous-masculinty-everyone-risk

It’s sad what our culture is coming to.

Days of Broken Arrows
Days of Broken Arrows
7 years ago

I kept thinking “Well, that can be corrected” until I got to the bit about the teeth. Gross. People need to brush. Or stop smoking. Or whatever, but I’m really grossed-out by graying teeth on a twentysomething woman.

Christian McQueen
7 years ago

Makeup should enhance beauty. When a girl steps out of the shower that’s when you can see what she really looks like. If she looks good soaking wet, with no makeup, then she’s probably naturally attractive.

Interestingly enough, American women are loving the fake ‘fixtures’ that are becoming the norm: plastic surgery, fake nails, eyelashes and my fkn pet peeve: Hair extensions.

It’s hysterical when you’re pounding a young slut from behind, while pulling her hair and the extensions pull out, leaving your little slut looking like a rabid mouse who just got electrocuted.

I’ll take natural anyday.

Mebus
Mebus
7 years ago

If it isn’t the massive amounts of makeup Western females use that repulse me, it’s the abundance of horrid tattoos (from ex-boyfriends’ names to the entire ensembles of seemingly random Chinese characters), chain smoking (I’ve even noticed more and more young females smoking sigars), heavy pot smoking, fake tits, not seldomly with a grand canyon-type depression in between, hair extensions, or the just plain awful masculine haircuts.

But you know what disgusts me the most? The fact they still manage to get showered with attention from many, many guys.

Joe Dick
Joe Dick
7 years ago

A lot of women look grotesque and stupid with all their makeup shit on. They are so insecure that they hide behind all that weird shit. Ah ah, they are quite funny. What about the ones where their body colour is tanner than the colour on their face? WTF ? They put some white shit on that make them look truly weird, kind of horror movie thing.

It makes me want to say ‘what the fuck happened to your face? Was it the cum?’

Joe Dick
Joe Dick
7 years ago

and does anybody notices what Roosh does? He looks for flaws in women. That’s how it’s done, so next time you think ‘wow she’s hot’ or ‘wow what a woman!’ ,switch this shit off and look harder.

There’s ALWAYS flaws about ANY woman.

Pablo
7 years ago

Hey Roosh, what are your thoughts about what happened in Princeton?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2301415/Susan-A-Patton-wrote-Princeton-student-newspaper-urging-female-students-snag-man.html

Basically, a hard-work woman that reached Princeton and did all the career-first thing advices the girls there to find a husband early between their peers, instead of waiting for the bars of the big town. Class closeness or sound advice?